Wow... this thread is sad and amusing all at the same Time.
Obviously she has her mind made up though, and being rude isn't going to change it. More than likely, she will instead refuse to consider other points of view because of how they are presented, a very natural reaction. i
All I want to mention is all the arguments about age. I am of the mind that she should wait until she is married to "the one" and have ALL of her beautiful babies with him. I don't think she should go seek out a relationship just to have a child. But what does her age have to do with it? If she met him tomorrow, and got married in 6 months (and they stayed together until death parted them!), is she still then too young to make a decision to TTC? I was married a week before I turned 20, and started TTC on my 21st birthday. We only waited that long because we knew it would be wise to finish up our degrees. At 22 now, am I too young to be wanting children? Should I be waiting until we are more settled or stable according to an outsider's definition? We can afford to raise a child without goverment assistance, and we will be comfortable, but not wealthy. Our children will have all of their needs met, but maybe not all of their wants. So do I need to wait until I am older, to save up some more money so I can spoil them? There mothers who are good, bad, mature, immature, loving, neglectful, young, old -- pick any combination and I'm sure you'll find one. Age doesn't determine what kind of mother you'll be, or how your children will turn out (but geeking back to the statistics, when you are making decisions like that you should be aware of what you're up against!).
Secondly, to the young people: Stop using this argument that at 20 we are just like any 30 year old who is TTC or is already a mom. We aren't. I am more mature now than I was 1 year ago, 5 years ago...
I have read every single post and this seems to be the most sensible! Yes, we may not agree with the OP and would never go about things in the same way, but it's her choice. So, some of us think you're a little
ashliee, but we really hope things turn out for the best for you and for your future child/ren.
Im not actually sure how im supposed to respond to you calling me crazy.
Just because I want to have a child, and I want to be a single mother does not mean I am crazy. It means I have different dreams for myself, and that I am looking at this in a different way then SOME does not mean anything.
I bet you if you looked around a little bit you would see many women just like me, with the same outlook.
You people do nothing but criticize and judge others who do things their own way and not always straight out of the book. What is so wrong with being an individual, making a plan for yourself, and then following through with it.
If I was married and TTC but my husband was infertile, 90% of you would tell me to look into a donor.
The fabrication in all of your minds that you need a man to raise a child is pathetic, Because my child is going to be in day care, because I wont be able to be a SAHM makes many of you cringe, But if thats the life I wanted, you bet your bottom dollar, that is what I would be working towards achieving.
But thats not what I want, I want to be a mom, but I also want to be an independent mom. I dont feel the need to depend on anyone but myself, I dont even see the real argument any of you choose to bring up, youll find a great man one day, wait. blah blah blah, its all what you would do, what YOU wanted, what your living.
I know a LOT of moms, a lot of them, and you know what I have seen over and over again? The look of defeat in their faces when they realize that even though they have a man, a father for their baby, someone who loves them and their child(ren) that look they get when they know this isnt what they wanted for themselves. Do you know how many times I have gotten phone calls in the middle of the night from these mothers, hysterical because they thought having a baby with the person they love would be easy, they thought that their husband would be 100% helpful, and you know what? 80% of those men have never woken up in the middle of the night with their child, dont feed the child(ren), dont do anything that the woman while making the choice to TTC thought he would.
How is it crazy of me to understand that every single minute of every single day the child that I choose to bring into the world is my responsibility and my responsibility only, to know that through good times and bad I have to work my butt off to give this child everything it deserves in life, to know that you never get a "day off" in parenthood. Just to name a few, You all assume I have no idea what raising a child entails, what you dont understand is I know exactly what its like to be a single mother, one that struggles every day. I have been there, I have been the one who was so shocked and destroyed when I realized I had no help, and through everything, I learned that the #1 hardest part of motherhood is realizing that everything you thought would be easy, is difficult when you are not prepared for how it turns out.
I have a two year old nephew, actually I have 2 two year old nephews, One 4 month old nephew and one 2 week old niece, One of those two year old nephews I have, I have basically raised since the day he was born, when I was 18 years old, His mother was around physically, but was NOT a mother to him. So anyone who tries to tell me that I dont know what being a single mother is like, can frankly kiss my ass, because I have known exactly what it entails for 26 months and 10 days. And I know for a FACT that being a single mom isnt easy, but I also know that once all the fabrications of motherhood are all gone, its really not as hard as it once was.
Now if you all could keep your damn opinions to yourself, and realize that hey this chick might actually know what shes doing, that would be much appreciated.
