Single mommy by choice

[21Rach]

Ps no longer a single mum but was for 10-12 months xx

 

[mixedbeautyx]

Goodluck I wish you the best!

 

[Want2bemommy4]

Good luck sweetheart. Being a you mom can be challenging, but even a older mom is challenging too. Just make sure you have support from family and friends so you are not alone..

Thanks dear! I have an amazing family who is great support for me, they always have been, As well as my close friends! I havent mentioned my plans to my family as of yet but my closest friends know and are ecstatic, which really helps so that I dont feel as though im making a mistake.
Im one of the last of my friends to become a mother, and they have told me time and time again how great a mother i will be when i choose to become one.
Its really nice to have support and just positive thoughts ! Im extremely excited to begin this amazing journey!

That's so wonderful. I wasn't single when I was TTC my first child but I was 17. Only support I had was my fiance. When we got married I was six months pregnant with number two. Had a miscarriage at 6 weeks in 08, the doctor put me on fertility meds, hcg shot and femara. I was 21 when I found out I was pregnant that cycle and it wad twins unfortunately, my daughter passed at 32 weeks. But, I had taken care of my kids on my own because my hunny was always on the road working and when he was home he didn't help out. So, state claimed me as single. I didn't have friends no family support my parents have issues..it was extremely hard. But, with help thats a blessing. I loved being a young mom.

 

[Want2bemommy4]

Btw I have a new husband who is a wonderful supporter he was there when I was alone when my ex was on road

 

[MummyP2b]

I just have to say...... For goodness sakes people!! This lovely young woman posted here to look for support on her DECISION not put downs on how difficult it's going to be etc etc.... She has obviously made up her mind. She wants a baby! That's why we are all here isn't it???? Single/gay couple/lesbian couple/straight couple It doesn't really matter what kind of relationship you have, if any, as long as that baby is loved....... who's to say if she deserves a child or not??!!

You know I am 23 and I know I was born to have children!! I have always wanted children and I'm grateful enough to have a wonderful husband now who wants children with me.
When I was 16 I had a little 'accident' with my ex boyfriend and had a little scare - from then on I couldn't wait to seriously sensibly start trying for a family. Luckily I met my husband only a matter of months after my ex broke up with me, and we have been together ever since.
I just want to say this.... If I hadn't met my husband and was single I would DEFINITELY be looking in to sperm donors!!! I want a baby so so much and am quite aware of the ups and downs etc etc. I've been impatient to have children for so many years, yes I know you might say, I'm young but I KNEW what I wanted. Needless to say 12 months of TTC I'm still waiting for my sticky BFP.
Quite a few of my friends have been bought up by just their mum and have 'turned out' just fine.

If this is what you want to do hun - don't let ANYBODY get in your way!!
If you have a link to your blog/journal I would love to follow your journey!!
I wish you all the very best!!
xx

 

[danni2kids]

I dont know why anybody would choose to be a single parent, sometimes it's hard enough even when both parent's are involved.

Don't get me wrong Im all for donor's when the situation is ideal, but scouring the net for a donor, at 20, because you believe you want a baby!!! I really cant get my head around it!!

 

[mrsc81]

I think the ladies on here are just concerned and dont intend to come across as being rude, i dont think its an age thing, we dont know you and are trying to offer the best advice/support that we would give anyone.
Here is one of your posts, you say you want a daddy for your baby..

So i didnt realize how badly i want a child until about half an hour ago.
A girl i know found out she is expecting her second child and i feel like its never going to happen for me, im never going to find someone that i want to spend my life with which means i will never have a child.
Since i was a little girl the only thing ive known for sure is that i want to be a mommy. but i want to be a mommy with a daddy for that baby.
Now i realize i am only 20 years old and have plenty of time, but some how i feel like time is running out!
Im sitting here crying like a baby because almost every single person i know has a child, and i do not. jealousy, at its finest.
I just cant help but feel like crap when people who dont even take care of themselves never mind their children end up pregnant again and again.
I hate this, i feel so alone, and stupid. All i want is a family, a husband to be beside me every step of the way, and a child to teach and love, i feel so unfulfilled.

I dont know if you are a bit confused or depressed right now, but in my honest opinion i really think you should take some more time to think about it. All the women in my family have children young but that didnt mean i had to, my mum had me and my sister by the age of 19, my sister had triplets at 22. Im 30 and have been with my dh a long time, in that time ive decided i wanted to ttc and changed my mind several times. Im glad ive found it such a hard decision to make as i think it shows how hard i know it is going to be, and how seriously ive thought about it.

 

[jenniferttc1]

Just wanted to wish you luck
I say if you have the money, and your 100% set on this then go for it. Who cares if your only 20, you cant make the feeling of wanting to be a mother go away. I know plenty of women that have the babys father around, and honestly they are better off without them, they are just like a dead weight, and a dead beat dad.

 

[Anais]

I have decided now is my time to begin my journey into motherhood!
I am single and 20 years old, and couldnt be more excited!
I will be using a donor, which im currently in the process of finding the perfect one! I will begin TTC in January and I cant wait!
I am a little nervous about doing the insemination by myself, I dont want to screw up but im sure my nerves will settle with time!
I have a blog that I write in daily and will continue for at least a year, and I also have a Youtube account to document my journey.
I am happy.

Please don't take offence but you are so young and have so much time ahead of you to find the right man. I myself considered doing it solo via a sperm donor but I am late thirties (have met someone since). Why don't you give yourself a 3 or 5 year plan to meet a nice guy and do it that way? Just don't make the mistakes I made when I was young... i.e always going for the bad boys! I'm not trying to lecture you but I'm old enough to know there is more to life than having kids & it's important to have lots of fun when you are young.. Just my opinion anyway. Good luck

 

[pinklightbulb]

I can't get my head around it either. Sorry OP Good luck anyway.

 

[mixedbeautyx]

To the op, it seems as though alot of what your saying in this post is contridictory to other posting youve made. Imho, I dont think you really know what you want.

I think the ladies on here are just concerned and dont intend to come across as being rude, i dont think its an age thing, we dont know you and are trying to offer the best advice/support that we would give anyone.
Here is one of your posts, you say you want a daddy for your baby..

So i didnt realize how badly i want a child until about half an hour ago.
A girl i know found out she is expecting her second child and i feel like its never going to happen for me, im never going to find someone that i want to spend my life with which means i will never have a child.
Since i was a little girl the only thing ive known for sure is that i want to be a mommy. but i want to be a mommy with a daddy for that baby.
Now i realize i am only 20 years old and have plenty of time, but some how i feel like time is running out!
Im sitting here crying like a baby because almost every single person i know has a child, and i do not. jealousy, at its finest.
I just cant help but feel like crap when people who dont even take care of themselves never mind their children end up pregnant again and again.
I hate this, i feel so alone, and stupid. All i want is a family, a husband to be beside me every step of the way, and a child to teach and love, i feel so unfulfilled.

I dont know if you are a bit confused or depressed right now, but in my honest opinion i really think you should take some more time to think about it. All the women in my family have children young but that didnt mean i had to, my mum had me and my sister by the age of 19, my sister had triplets at 22. Im 30 and have been with my dh a long time, in that time ive decided i wanted to ttc and changed my mind several times. Im glad ive found it such a hard decision to make as i think it shows how hard i know it is going to be, and how seriously ive thought about it.

 

[Jen.Uh.Fur]

It's not meant for you to wrap your head around, it's not your life! If you can't support her in her decision, then move on. Obviously she isn't going to change her mind, and last time I checked she was an adult who could make her own decision.

Would I do what she's doing? No, but I'm not her. As long as the baby is taken care of and loved, that's all that matters. Hell, some babies with 2 parents don't even get that.

 

[Ash0619]

You sound like me, OP. I'm 24 and I met DH when we were both 18, and ever since we met all I've wanted to do is move FORWARD. Sometimes I have to remind myself that life doesn't have to be finished by the time I'm 30, but I have a hard time slowing down.
We waited 4 years to get married (which practically killed me), even though I knew from the beginning that he was "the one". But now that I look back, our timing was perfect. We are in a much more stable place financially right now than we were at 18-22. But ever since we got married, I've wanted to ttc. It took a little over a year to get DH to agree to it, but once again, the timing is perfect for us right now and I'm so glad I didn't push him into something he wasn't ready for, because I love seeing his excitement now that he truly wants to be a daddy! We're in the middle of month 3 right now, so I don't know how long it's gonna take.
Anyway, I just wanted to say that I know what you mean about "time running out" because that is kind of how I live my life, even though I know I'm young, etc. Good luck with whatever decision you make, sweetie. Well, it sounds like you already decided, so I wish you well with the whole process.

 

[pinklightbulb]

Didn't say it was my life, there isn't any need to get straight on the defensive, jeez... it isn't just her life. It will be a baby's life as well. Guess I'm just wondering if baby WILL get the chance to know his/her other half of parentage, that part really hits home for me that's all. Sorry I didn't ask that in the first place.
And it's not the norm to be a single mother by choice, why wouldn't I try to see it from OP's POV and fail and say so? There isn't anything wrong with me not getting it, and I'm obviously not the only one. We all question what we don't understand don't we?

 

[ashliee]

Good luck sweetheart. Being a you mom can be challenging, but even a older mom is challenging too. Just make sure you have support from family and friends so you are not alone..

Thanks dear! I have an amazing family who is great support for me, they always have been, As well as my close friends! I havent mentioned my plans to my family as of yet but my closest friends know and are ecstatic, which really helps so that I dont feel as though im making a mistake.
Im one of the last of my friends to become a mother, and they have told me time and time again how great a mother i will be when i choose to become one.
Its really nice to have support and just positive thoughts ! Im extremely excited to begin this amazing journey!

That's so wonderful. I wasn't single when I was TTC my first child but I was 17. Only support I had was my fiance. When we got married I was six months pregnant with number two. Had a miscarriage at 6 weeks in 08, the doctor put me on fertility meds, hcg shot and femara. I was 21 when I found out I was pregnant that cycle and it wad twins unfortunately, my daughter passed at 32 weeks. But, I had taken care of my kids on my own because my hunny was always on the road working and when he was home he didn't help out. So, state claimed me as single. I didn't have friends no family support my parents have issues..it was extremely hard. But, with help thats a blessing. I loved being a young mom.

Aww thats so unfortunate you have had to go through such difficult times, and limited support, Everything in life is so much more joyful when surrounded by supportive people!!! Being a young mom can be extremely difficult, I have personally been a supportive friend to dozens of friends who got pregnant in highschool and had very little support, and awful baby daddies, Its such a sad thing to watch them struggle! But it has also taught me so much, and prepared me so much for what I am in for! However I believe that my situation is going to be a lot less of a struggle because I am going into it knowing I plan to be single, so the possibility of the father running off just isnt a stress I will have.
I have so much respect for single moms, and young moms, such strong and amazing people!!!!!!

 

[ashliee]

I think the ladies on here are just concerned and dont intend to come across as being rude, i dont think its an age thing, we dont know you and are trying to offer the best advice/support that we would give anyone.
Here is one of your posts, you say you want a daddy for your baby..

So i didnt realize how badly i want a child until about half an hour ago.
A girl i know found out she is expecting her second child and i feel like its never going to happen for me, im never going to find someone that i want to spend my life with which means i will never have a child.
Since i was a little girl the only thing ive known for sure is that i want to be a mommy. but i want to be a mommy with a daddy for that baby.
Now i realize i am only 20 years old and have plenty of time, but some how i feel like time is running out!
Im sitting here crying like a baby because almost every single person i know has a child, and i do not. jealousy, at its finest.
I just cant help but feel like crap when people who dont even take care of themselves never mind their children end up pregnant again and again.
I hate this, i feel so alone, and stupid. All i want is a family, a husband to be beside me every step of the way, and a child to teach and love, i feel so unfulfilled.

I dont know if you are a bit confused or depressed right now, but in my honest opinion i really think you should take some more time to think about it. All the women in my family have children young but that didnt mean i had to, my mum had me and my sister by the age of 19, my sister had triplets at 22. Im 30 and have been with my dh a long time, in that time ive decided i wanted to ttc and changed my mind several times. Im glad ive found it such a hard decision to make as i think it shows how hard i know it is going to be, and how seriously ive thought about it.

I know exactly what I have posted, and you need to understand that this has been something I have been thinking about for a long time, I had been very on the fence about it for some time, however I have made the decision to move forward with this! Of course I am going to have moments of confusion, and uncertainty! But I have thoroughly made a plan and this is what I am going to do. I am not in need of people to question me on it, because in the end this is my decision and truly what I want. I am at a point in my life where a baby is just going to add joy to my life, and it is not going to complicate it in any way that isnt normal.

 

[ashliee]

Just wanted to wish you luck
I say if you have the money, and your 100% set on this then go for it. Who cares if your only 20, you cant make the feeling of wanting to be a mother go away. I know plenty of women that have the babys father around, and honestly they are better off without them, they are just like a dead weight, and a dead beat dad.

Thank you so much dear! Im really glad that you understand where I am coming from at least to an extent! I would never be irresponsible with a tiny life, and this is not something that is spur of the moment! Its something I truly do want, and am going to pursue, actually I should say I am going to continue pursuing it!

 

[ashliee]

I have decided now is my time to begin my journey into motherhood!
I am single and 20 years old, and couldnt be more excited!
I will be using a donor, which im currently in the process of finding the perfect one! I will begin TTC in January and I cant wait!
I am a little nervous about doing the insemination by myself, I dont want to screw up but im sure my nerves will settle with time!
I have a blog that I write in daily and will continue for at least a year, and I also have a Youtube account to document my journey.
I am happy.

Please don't take offence but you are so young and have so much time ahead of you to find the right man. I myself considered doing it solo via a sperm donor but I am late thirties (have met someone since). Why don't you give yourself a 3 or 5 year plan to meet a nice guy and do it that way? Just don't make the mistakes I made when I was young... i.e always going for the bad boys! I'm not trying to lecture you but I'm old enough to know there is more to life than having kids & it's important to have lots of fun when you are young.. Just my opinion anyway. Good luck

I do not want the right man... I want to do this alone, I want this to be exactly the way it is going to be, If i wanted to be in a relationship, and have a baby with someone who I hope to spend the rest of my life with, that is what I would be doing. But I do not want that. I want it this way.... thank you for wishing me luck

 

[ashliee]

I dont know why anybody would choose to be a single parent, sometimes it's hard enough even when both parent's are involved.

Don't get me wrong Im all for donor's when the situation is ideal, but scouring the net for a donor, at 20, because you believe you want a baby!!! I really cant get my head around it!!

Well, your first step would be trying to understand where I am coming from.
Many single women choose this for themselves, and live very happy and healthy lives with their child(ren).
My age has nothing to do with this, I am an adult, and capable of making decisions for myself. This post was not asking for people to give me reasons why they think I shouldn't do this.
I am an adult, and would like to receive the same respect women get every single day when choosing to TTC.
Just because I am choosing a path less traveled does not mean it is wrong, in any way shape or form.
Because I have found a website designed for exactly what I am looking for does not make this any different then if I were to go to a sperm bank. The only differences are my child will have the opportunity to know where he or she comes from, and it is less of a financial burden.
I could very easily go ahead and go to a sperm bank and do it that way, but I would much rather knowing who my donor is as well as some of their family history.

 

[ashleyann]

Best of luck to you on your TTC journey..I just sincerely hope this baby isn't born with the job of making you feel loved and happy.