Softcups

[IceFire]

Well it sounds like we are all feeling about this TTC thing today....I worked with a girl today who got PG on her first month with both of hers (she is now about 6.5 months PG with #2). As we were leaving work all she could do was gripe and complain about the baby kicking her, it was so annoying, she had sooo long to go, blah blah blah. I could have choked her with my bare hands. When I finally got to my car I cried all the way home...I would give ANYTHING to be her right now! I want this soooo badly and I am so incredibly sick of being disappointed month after month after month. I cannot stand to go on FB and see my 270+ friends with their beautiful family pictures, ultrasound pictures, pregnancy journals, etc....and I hate myself for no longer being able to feel happy for them, but instead feeling jealous of them. I can't even buy pregnancy tests anymore...can't stand seeing BFNs. As much as I hate , its almost easier than only seeing one line.

If not for my OB/GYN visit in January, I would be on a TTC break right now. When I saw her at the end of January, she told me she thinks that the reason I am not PG right now is that I have had sooo many outside stressors in the last 12 months. She told me to relax, de-stress, give it six more months, then if still nothing, to come back for a fertility workup. I have always had super-regular periods and neither DH nor I have a family history of fertility problems so I am trying to have PMA but I am just running out. I am so exhausted from this emotional roller coaster that I just don't know how much longer I can keep it up. The vast majority of my outside stress has subsided now, but I one minute I am so positive I am so close to a BFP, and the next I am crying my eyes out because I am sure that it will never happen.

I know that somehow this is all fitting into God's plan, but try as I might, I just don't understand it. Why would He torment me this way??? Ugh I hate this.

No wonder we're crazy!!! Having this place to vent frustration and collaborate with women who feel like me has meant so much, and I thank God for each and every one of you every day, and then I pray for you to get BFPs!!

Thanks for letting me vent girls.

 

[mamaxm]

we're not failing at getting pregnant, we're just getting practice for the right baby!
you poor thing, working with pregnant women would absolutely do me in. feel better

 

[Minimin]

Allie, Bella, Maxaxm, and Ness

Well I can add to the over all Blaahhhhh factor. Not feeling particularly good today. Anniversary of Dads passing and I just want to get into bed and not wake up until the day is well and truly over!

No more spotting yesterday- and I think CM has got less in volume but still sticky.
Some more twinges on both sides of my uterus but only for a few seconds and then they are gone. Sometimes I get them kinda of strong and wonder if that is a cramp to go to the toilet- sometimes it is and sometimes it isnt Still starving and able to eat myself outta house and home! LOL

I had another rise in temps this morning but I had a late night and woke up early this morning so I dont know if this had altered it slightly. FF says 10dpo and CBFM 11dpo- they never seem to agree! I tested yesterday and wont test again until the end of the week when AF is well and truly late.

I hope our prayers are answered ladies- Mamaxm's story rings true everywhere! I am finding it hard to keep my PMA up around all these people instead I feel anger and jealousy!

 

[kasey590]

i live in australia and ive been TTC for just over 12 months now. a friend put me on to this page and i hate that i cant get them in australia. sounds like a brilliant idea.

 

[BellaBlu]

Julie-I'm glad I'm not the only one in the "to see the doc or not to see the doc" boat. It's a tough decision but like you said that's a whole different ballfield. It takes everything to a whole new, (stressful) level! Major hats off to you for doing so very well raising your daughter, as alot of women would have taken the "easy" way out. Even if you didn't particularly enjoy your pregnancy, you did everything you possibly could to provide the best for your daughter and that is incredibly admirable! So many people them for granted and assume that children will *just come* one day.. It isn't always that easy. And most of the time the women that would be the best of parents, as ALL of the wonderful women on this thread/site are.. are the ones that have the problems. I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your father, but I'm sure he's very proud of you for making ends meet.. and working hard to do so. I've always been taught that 'hard work pays off' .. and of course.. 'the best things never come easy' .. so I'm trying to keep my chin up. Thank you so much for the kind words darling, I like you alot too and I'm glad that we all have the friendship we do. It makes life so much easier each day knowing that you have friends that know how you're feeling..I'm excited to hear your pregnancy annoucement sometime in the near future hun. That will make me sincerely happy!

Mamaxm- I know exactly what you mean! It seems there is at least one pregnancy announcement per day.. and it stinks! I was browsing through pictures the other day and broke down big time.. so many perfect, beautiful babies born to people I know so well.. and it doesn't seem fair.. I'm really sorry about your false positive, I always thought I'd like to see a positive test no matter what! And that makes me second guess myself.. That would be overwhelmingly depressing. I'm glad you're back. And as for the women that are upside down, drinking, smoking, doing drugs and having sex in jacuzzi's and getting pregnant.. THOSE are the women that should have paid attention in sex ed.. because when the teachers said "Don't have sex or you'll get pregnant! No matter what!" absolutely applied to them.

I have been trying for a long time, some days it feels like it's been longer than others. But you all make me realize that every minute I spend will be worth it. You'll get your bubba soon Mamaxm. (& that's a great deal on PG tests! I didn't see that!)

Allie- It is unfair huh. People can be so ungrateful! As for the OB/GYN, it's a good thing that there is no fertility issues that you know of hun, because stress is a real pain in the butt.. but at least you know that you are still in the running and it WILL happen. It's only a matter of time. (that sucks to hear huh, sorry to sound so cliche') But you're both healthy, and being on BnB can be your stress relief. We'll be like your own personal Valium! Except we can talk and we won't make you as tired. We're grateful for you too hun, it's awesome having you around! It makes me so happy to see we've got a few new girls in our little SC crew that are so great. I enjoy coming on each day and seeing what is going on with you girls! Vent whenever you want luv, we all do. And nobody minds listening at all.

Minimin- So sorry about the passing anniversary of your Dad sweetie, that must be so hard I hate when you have to run to the toilet cuz it feels like AF is here.. that drives me nuts. But glad your spotting went away hun


I didn't test this morning I feel like I just won a hotdog eating contest! Not testing is a huge accomplishment for me. I'm feeling okay today, got a good nights sleep and LORD knows that works wonders on a persons mood.

How are we all feeling today. Any symptoms to report?

 

[Nessicle]

Morning girls!

Well done Bella for not testing!! That's a huge accomplishment!! I failed....I tested....and yep still negative, only 10dpo for me though but had a temp drop - not below coverline but a drop all the same I reckon it will start dropping more and I will get AF this weekend for sure now.

Oh well, on to cycle 3 I plod!!

Min sweetie hope yesterday wasn't too painful for you. How was your anniversary though?xx

 

[BellaBlu]

Ness- still early days hun! you're still in the game.

Kasey590- You can order them online!

 

[Nessicle]

thanks sweetie! I'm not convinced but I really appreciate the positive thoughts and PMA I get from you all it keeps me going xxx

 

[HunnieBee83]

Kase, I'll do what I can to get ya some!!!! Love you!!!

 

[BellaBlu]

We all need some PMA every now and then !

It keeps us all going

 

[BellaBlu]

WelshRose told me my chart looks good I hope she's right! I'm trying not to pay attention to it lol.

Have a look! My temps are kinda all over the place, but high-ish. So Im pretty hopeful about that at least.

 

[Nessicle]

Ooh mine are too Bella hope this means it's good for us then?! xx

 

[Nessicle]

you have a dip at 7dpo.....implantation dip??

 

[Helly]

Bella and Ness, your charts are both looking good, next few days temps will be interesting for both of you x

 

[BellaBlu]

I hope so ness! That would be awesome

Thanks helly I already want to go to bed so I can temp again.

 

[kasey590]

nawww thanks Renee!!! loved you too chicky!!! i dunno wat id do without you!!!!

Bellablu- they are so expensive over here online. atm its just too much to get them.

 

[Minimin]

Bella- Thanks for you kind words- That was so inspiring and comforting!
I love the 7dpo dip- could be Implantation dip- the high temps over the past few days are so promising!!

Ness-It's dad's passing anniversary today! 4 years ago! I am in a bit of a funk and cant be bothered to do anything. I should go and sort out some things in town- my iphone is playing up and i need to get them to check it etc- But first need to get my warranty out- and all that is far too much for me to bother with!I need to and i cant be arsed

Your temps are still above the coverline Ness- they can go up and down a little so still very promising- looking forward to yours and Bella's temps in the coming days! I would love it to know you ladies got a this week. Would make me

 

[kasey590]

luckily for me i have a wonderful friend in the states that has decided to send me some thanks so much renee i love the fact that if this works, shes practically giving me a baby. im so very lucky to have my TTC ladies

 

[HunnieBee83]

Love ya too chick!!! Im gonna do as much as I can 2 help ya!

 

[Nessicle]

Thanks Helly!! Yeah it's defo been interested to see my temps in action this month though not sure I will temp again next month if AF comes!

Bella it would be awesome if I do get a bfp I need my girls to obsess about every twinge with ha ha!!

Min - aww Im not surprised you feel that way, it must be really hard for you sweetie I've been so lucky that I havent had to deal with any one in my family passing away but my gran is 86 now so could go any day and that will be quite upsetting. She had a stroke a few months ago, so could have another one at any point eek!

You're right hun my temps are still above coverline I just hope they stay there lol xxx