Struggling with female factor infertility

[Christi85]

Thank you slg
I know it's irrational thinking, but you can't help it sometimes.

Yes, time is moving very slowly, but on the other hand I'm not sure I want to go back if it's going to be bad news again. Don't know if that makes sense...

The Dr mentioned both the surgical route and the medication route if a blighted ovum is confirmed, so I think he'd leave it up to me. He didn't talk about letting it happen naturally, though I'm sure it's always an option and if I wanted to go down that route, he wouldn't really push me not to do it. For me, as long as the diagnosis is confirmed 100%, I think the surgical route makes the most sense. It's the quickest and least painful way and my body can return to normal sooner. I can't quite imagine taking medication to induce a miscarriage as I'm really frightened of the experience. As for natural miscarriage, this is probably the 'gentlest' option, but knowing it could take weeks to start and up to several weeks to clear entirely, and that I may end up needing a D&C anyway if not everything is out, makes it feel nerve wracking. Btw, the same thing can happen with the medicated miscarriage if not everything gets expelled, so I'm thinking I might as well go for the D&C from the start and get it over with. We'll also see what the doctor says.

 

[NDurham12]

Hey there. So this is the plan that I'm following.https://natural-fertility-info.com/increase-egg-health

I didn't do any of their supplements as the price is just too freaking high. Which is a pet peeve of mine. Similar to weddings, vendors just markup prices because they can play on the emotions of women. Especially with fertility. .. gets me so upset. The article is pretty good though and coincides with a book I'm reading about eastern medicine approach to fertility.

My ff chart shows everything I'm taking, but in summary I added dhea, l-arginine, royal jelly, and coq10 (+ lipoic acid for better absorb) .

The royal jelly is funny as it makes my pee smell like honey. Hehe. Other than that I don't feel any different.

Since I'm on the cleanse I'm not actively trying this cycle. So I haven't taken the evening primrose oil pills I usually take starting cd1. Well today I had tons of ewcm! Very exciting.

 

[Hatethewait85]

Hatethewait - You very clearly made the right choice, especially since you ended up having a ruptured tube, so you know it was ectopic. And with ectopic being a potentially life threatening condition, I would be much more cautious. I think you made your decision based on what was best for you, and at least your diagnosis turned out to be right, which is good news in a sh**ty situation.

Yes, I don't doubt my decision now (although it's easy to look back and say I made the right choice, even though in the end it didn't matter- still needed surgery none the less). But those stories sure get ya thinking!! Like slg said, the risk is pretty small to wait until you're sure and confident in your decision. Although, I think there is some infection risk to waiting too long (although don't quote me on that).

I think you are right regarding lining after a D&C. Good to give it time to recover.

Is your appointment tomorrow? I will be thinking of you! I understand not wanting to go back to hear bad news (but hopefully there's great news!!). Ignorance is bliss sometimes.

As for the discussion on egg quailty- my fs suspects that's my problem (bad eggs) because everything else checks out on paper just fine but I made so few blastocysts out of my many eggs retrieved with IVF. Anyway, I started taking coq10 (ubiquinol) about 6 weeks before I ended up getting pregnant. Not sure if that contributed at all but there is some data to support it improving egg quality. I plan to stick with it once I'm done with my detox course later this week. Its a well tolerated supplement and very few potential risks.

Thanks for the link NDurham- I will definitely check it out, too!

 

[slg76]

Hatethewait. Wow! I hope I have the same response to ubiquinol. I've been taking that and DHEA for 6 weeks now. I've had BIG time hormonal symptoms so it must be doing something.

 

[Christi85]

Hello ladies!

Had my doctor appointment this morning and unfortunately, the ultrasound confirmed the bad news. The sac looked the same as last week, and no sign of an embryo in there, so we are pretty confident it's a blighted ovum. At this point, neither hubby nor I felt it made any sense waiting longer and doing any more tests. If the sac had grown more or something was seen in it (even without a heartbeat), it would have been different, but now it looked very clear to us. Oddly enough, I feel relieved not to have to wait longer. I cried a lot over the past week, so I'm ready to put it behind me and move on.

My doctor laid out my options (D&C, waiting for natural miscarriage or medicated miscarriage), of which I only 'liked' the D&C as it will allow for the fastest healing and least hassle and pain. So he referred me to a surgery clinic, as doing it in the hospital would have been unnecessarily complicated and much more expensive.
I spoke with the nurse over the phone and they will probably have me go in on Friday (I'd be 8+6 at that point) to do the procedure - I'm just waiting for her to call back and confirm the time of the appointment. She said no general anesthesia, just IV sedation, which I also liked. I just hope I don't miscarry spontaneously until Friday...I was secretly hoping for an earlier appointment, but Friday was the earliest they had.

The doc actually said we could start TTCing again as soon as I got my first period after the D&C, but I think I will want to wait a couple months. Better get my body ready first and boost my chances for a successful outcome whenever a pregnancy does come again. I did ask him about giving me progesterone supplementation to start taking after ovulation once we start TTCing again (since I know I have an issue with low progesterone) and he said it wouldn't hurt to do that. He also said I shouldn't be discouraged and that he's sure I'll get pregnant again.

NDurham, thank you for the info on the herbs and supplements. That fertility cleansing sounds good. I'll make sure to ask my acupuncturist about her recommendations too, though I'm thinking I may not do anything between the D&C and getting my period - just let the body rest - and then start any cleansing treatments etc. after I get my first period post D&C.

 

[Hatethewait85]

This sucks. I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope that Friday comes quick so you can move past things soon.

I'm glad your doc will give you the progesterone and that he's optimistic you'll be pregnant again!

July has been a TERRIBLE month for us LTTTC-ers. August has got to be better.

Big ((HUGS)). I'm thinking of you and your hubs this week.

 

[Hatethewait85]

Hatethewait. Wow! I hope I have the same response to ubiquinol. I've been taking that and DHEA for 6 weeks now. I've had BIG time hormonal symptoms so it must be doing something.

Yes! I hope you do too!!!

To be fair, in addition to the ubiquinol I was taking chinese herbs (a custom herb blend from my acupuncturist), this stasis teapills (from my acupunccturist), magnesium supplement, and prenatal + DHA. So who knows what did the trick as I started all (except prenatal + DHA) at the same time. My husband also started acupuncture at that time, too. Haha. It's impossible to know....

 

[Christi85]

Thank you so much

Yes, July was a horrible month! Here's to a better August!

Well, this is a new OB/GYN as I walked away from my RE who also served as my OB/GYN for a while. I have to say, I do like that his attitude is more laid back. I'm optimistic too that since my body knows how to get pregnant now, it will repeat it some time soon (hopefully with a viable pregnancy this time). And I read some stats saying that 80-85% of women with a blighted ovum go on to have a successful next pregnancy, as well as that, even women with 3-4 miscarriages still have a 60-70% chance of a successful pregnancy. So that made me feel better. At the same time I'm also realistic, so I think I may give it 'till the end of 2015 or so. If no baby is with us or on the way by then (and I mean with a viable pregnancy that we know is going to stick), then we'll seriously look into adoption. Until then, we'll keep on trying our best and hope for better luck next time. Right now though, I'm thinking I'll wait 2 or even 3 cycles. I want to take time to heal and prepare my body better. And most importantly, take a much needed mental break from all the TTC madness.

Re the ubiquinol, I've heard good stuff too. Not just that it improves the quality of eggs, but that there have also been a couple studies showing that ovarian cells were 'regenerated' which is great potential news for all of us with AMH concerns. I had linked to an article too some time ago that detailed the findings of that study on CoQ10. I'd been taking the ubiquinon form the month we conceived, but I think I'll switch to ubiquinol, as I hear it's easier for the body to absorb.

 

[slg76]

I'm sorry to hear your news but relieved for you that you can move on. I hope you heal quickly and feel ready to move on soon

 

[Mikihob]

This sucks. I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope that Friday comes quick so you can move past things soon.

I'm glad your doc will give you the progesterone and that he's optimistic you'll be pregnant again!

July has been a TERRIBLE month for us LTTTC-ers. August has got to be better.

Big ((HUGS)). I'm thinking of you and your hubs this week.

You are definitely right July is stupid for TTC'ers. You and Christi had a terrible, terrible month and are now trying to move past them. I am on a IUI thread and all 8-10 of us who did an IUI in July ALL got BFN's. I have never seen so many BFN's in one thread before.

We all agree July is so dumb August HAS to be better.

Hatethewait and Chrisit I am so sorry for what you two have had to endure. Christi I am glad that you got some news that made you feel better, even though it was terrible, heartbreaking news. I love your positive outlook and your drive to move forward. You two give me strength in my darkest hours. I am hoping and praying that you too can stay strong, move forward and get your BFP's!!

 

[Christi85]

I know, July was just horrible! Not just for HtW and me, but for other ladies as well in the LTTC forum who suffered miscarriages etc.
With such a horrible month, I'm not surprised you all got BFNs Mikihob. But hopefully August will bring you much better news

My D&C is now confirmed for Friday, which I'm happy about. Not too long until all this is behind me. I try to be optimistic and stay strong, but I have my moments when I just break down and cry and feel just horrible about this whole thing, sometimes even blaming myself and my body. There's no explanation why things like that happen and they shouldn't be happening. I so wish getting a BFP could mean having a baby 100% of the time!!!
My hubby is also very sad, which pains me. Sometimes I even think he took it worse than I did. I knew from the moment we saw that empty sac at 7w 2d that this pregnancy was doomed, but he kept hoping something would change. When the bad news was confirmed at 8w 2d, he was even more devastated.

Thank you everyone for your support! It means a lot!

 

[Mikihob]

Christi It's always harder when you get your hopes up. In this journey getting our hopes up helps keep us going and moving forward and stopping us from giving up. After you saw the empty sac you knew the chances of something being there was small, but DH just hoped against hope that they would find a heartbeat the next u/s. That makes it harder.

It's funny (not really but you know what I mean) that sometimes it seems our DH's take this news harder than we do. Maybe it's because we have talked about it before with other women who have dealt with it or because we have researched it or what have you. But they (most) don't know these things and get their hopes up and then get crushed. I am glad that you too can support each other and be there for one another. Especially now you two will need each other.

I am glad that we can be here to support you. I will be thinking of you and praying for you Friday.

 

[Hatethewait85]

Thanks chica. to you too!!! I hope August brings you the happiest of news! Sending all the sticky vibes your way!

 

[Hatethewait85]

I know, July was just horrible! Not just for HtW and me, but for other ladies as well in the LTTC forum who suffered miscarriages etc.
With such a horrible month, I'm not surprised you all got BFNs Mikihob. But hopefully August will bring you much better news

My D&C is now confirmed for Friday, which I'm happy about. Not too long until all this is behind me. I try to be optimistic and stay strong, but I have my moments when I just break down and cry and feel just horrible about this whole thing, sometimes even blaming myself and my body. There's no explanation why things like that happen and they shouldn't be happening. I so wish getting a BFP could mean having a baby 100% of the time!!!
My hubby is also very sad, which pains me. Sometimes I even think he took it worse than I did. I knew from the moment we saw that empty sac at 7w 2d that this pregnancy was doomed, but he kept hoping something would change. When the bad news was confirmed at 8w 2d, he was even more devastated.

Thank you everyone for your support! It means a lot!

Friday will be here before you know it. It's ok to break down and cry when you need to. This is a huge loss and it sucks. The thing that upsets me the most is there really is NO reason for this nonsense. I still well up with tears and my surgery was nearly 3 weeks ago!

I'm sorry about your hubs too. I think most men take it pretty hard and are usually surprised when things head south- they just don't understand this stuff the way we do and they don't spend hours a day researching everything. To them a BFP = a take home baby 100% of the time... until it doesn't for them. Anyway, hugs to you and your hubby. Hope you both find some ways to spoil yourselves this weekend. You certainly deserve some pampering!

 

[slg76]

My hubby took our mc harder than I did. He is the more emotional of us. We cried together and had a little memorial for our baby. I hope you find what it is you need to get through this and I hope you and hubby can support each other

 

[Christi85]

Thank you so much girls!
I ended up having my D&C yesterday (Friday) and all went well. I was under for maybe just 20 minutes and have no memory of it all. They gave me one last ultrasound before the procedure and the sac measured around 31mm, which would have put me around 8.5 weeks along (based on last period, I would have been 9 weeks) but of course absolutely nothing inside. The doctor said that, when the sac is over 25mm and still appears empty, they are able to confidently make the diagnosis of a blighted ovum. Apparently, up until a couple years ago, the cut-off point was 18-20mm, but they have increased the threshold to 25mm. So since mine was a good bit over 25mm and still empty, it made me feel better and more confident in that I wasn't making a mistake and that there wouldn't have been a baby in there. That was my biggest struggle - deciding whether I had to wait longer just in case, but at the end of the day, I don't think anything would have changed after 5 ultrasounds across 2 weeks (the first 3 at my doctor's office first time we realized we were dealing with a blighted ovum on different machines - both vaginal and abdominal) all with the same findings.

Physically I'm ok. I've only had light bleeding which seems to have subsided for now, but they've warned me that it can be on and off for up to a few weeks. Then I should be getting my first period 4-6 weeks from the procedure. I only have minor cramping which I'm handling with Tylenol Extra and otherwise I feel fine. I'm not allowed any strenuous activity, swimming, baths or intercourse for a week and I'll be seeing my doc for a follow-up in 2 weeks, but otherwise I'm pretty close to normal. The hardest part was getting over those first few hours after waking up from sedation, in which I felt very groggy and drowsy. Emotionally I've felt ok after the procedure, but I won't be surprised if I get occasional waves of sadness. I really want to put all this behind me though and get my body ready for when we start TTC again after 2-3 months.

 

[Mikihob]

Christi I am glad the procedure went well and that the final ultrasound was able to confirm that there wasn't a baby so you didn't have to wonder forever if you made the right choice. I can only imagine what you must be going through and completely agree that waves of sadness will come. As long as you and DH can hold onto each other and be there for one another you should be able to move forward. I hope that your period starts sooner rather than later and you can start all the herbs and supplements again to get your body ready to TTC. Thinking about you and wishing you well!

 

[Christi85]

Thank you so much

 

[slg76]

Glad that all went well. Take good care of yourself.

 

[Hatethewait85]

I've been thinking about you Christi. I'm so glad they offered you one last scan before the D&C. I'm sure it helped you to feel at peace with the decision you were making. I hope your recovery is smooth and the next 2-3 months fly by.