Support thread for ladies who have had 3+ failed IVF cycles

[Lucie73821]

Hi ladies, do you mind if I join? As you can see in my sig, I've been TTC since August 2009. We've had 1 ivf bfn, ivf in Dec 2012 ended with both embryos implanting in my right tube (something my dr said he'd never seen in all 26 years of practice), and found out Thursday that our 3rd ivf has ended with an ectopic in my left tube (my dr said he's also never had a patient have back to back ectopics). I was given methotrexate yesterday and won't know until Thursday if it has worked.

I'm just having a really hard time right now.

Lucie so sorry for your lost . Welcome to the thread. Your story sounds so much like Sarah. It seems like so much bad luck. What did your RE say the reason for these ectopics ?

How were your cycles? Did you get good quality blastocysts?

Really hope you are okay !!!

My re said that ectopics happen in 2-3% of ivf. His practice has a 1% ectopic rate. Well I guess I've ruined his average now. He also explained that it is physically impossible to put the catheter with the embryos into your tubes. He explained that the opening to your tubes is 10 times smaller than the catheter. He said unfortunately, sometimes the embryos just don't stay where they are placed.

My last two cycles seemed to go well. I did have fewer eggs this past cycle, but that could be due to the fact that I am now 35. In the cycle that ended in a double ectopic I had 2 grade a (highest being grade a+) embryos put back, and this past cycle I had 2 grade a and one grade b put back.

With the double ectopic cycle the doctor told me the methotrexate had an 85% success rate, and it failed to work as well. Maybe I'm just really, really, really unlucky.

 

[bugs]

Hi Lucie welcome to our thread so sorry for what you have been through. I remember reading about your double ectopic and having had my 1st IVF result in ectopic and the loss of my tubes my heart really went out to you so I can't even imagine what it must be like to have it happen again.

My consultant thought it would be best to remove both of my tubes as they were both damaged beyond repair. We haven't got there yet but are hopeful that we will eventually the same as all us ladies in this thread.

Hope everyone is well xxxx

 

[africaqueen]

Lucie- Welcome and i am so sorry for your losses. I also had 2 ectopics within 6mths of eachother in 2010 and lost both my tubes so know how devastating it is and my thoughts are with you x

Hi to all the ladies x

AFM- Omg ladies, my best friend just told me she's pregnant. I am happy for her of course but i am sat here crying my eyes out with jealousy and so sad for myself. That is ALL my friends now that have kids. She was the only one i could complain to an she kinda got how i felt as she has been ttc for a year but now this news has changed everything and tbh i dont know how to cope?? i feel less of a woman with every pregnancy announcement as its something my shitty body just cant manage and now my best friend being pregnant means i cant just avoid her or pregnancy talk and its going to tear me apart as i am heartbroken its not me. I know that sounds so selfish but omg i am in bits. She was the one person i could be with and not have to talk children or pregnancy and thats gone now and i am the only one amongst my friends who is a complete and utter failure

 

[bugs]

AQ I'm sorry to hear that your feeling low. I am the last out of my group of friends in work to have a baby and it is hard but our time will come and no baby will be more loved and more cherished than ours.

As my other half says to me once we shut our front door it's just us and as long as we can cope and enjoy what we have in our lives nothing else matters.

Keep your chin up Hun you'll be fine xxxx

 

[africaqueen]

Thanks Clare. You are so strong. I am starting to lose it tbh. Too many emotions going round my head. Not a good week. Build up of everything tbh. Tax took half my wages due to error they made ages ago, Friday is the 1st anniversary of my friend Jane's death, my friend Ann has cervical cancer and has a radical hysterectomy on the 11th and now yet more pregnancy news. Feeling super low. Wish my mum was here for a 'mum cuddle' life is crap xxx

 

[Lucie73821]

AQ, I'm sorry you are feeling low. We are the only couple in our group of friends not to have children. We are still able to have fun with them, but it's just not the same.

 

[africaqueen]

Thanks Lucie, Its just not the same is it? being the 'odd couple' out how are you feeling? i hope the shot works. Thinking of you xxx

 

[Lucie73821]

Thanks Lucie, Its just not the same is it? being the 'odd couple' out how are you feeling? i hope the shot works. Thinking of you xxx

Feeling ok. Having some side effects from the shot, mostly fatigue and abdominal pain. Anxious for Thursday, that's when I will find out if the shot has worked.

 

[africaqueen]

I hope the shot has worked. My ectopics were too advanced so i lost both tubes and would of done anything to of kept one just to have a small chance of pregnancy but sadly not. Hope fate is a little kinder to you. Ectopics are cruel enough, esp to have two and even more so after IVF ;( xxx

 

[Sandy83]

Morning Ladies

Hope you are all doing well

Lucie, Fx'd for Tomorrow

AFM, got my dates to start in the new year. Will start Buserelin on 11th Jan and looking for ER to be around 17th Feb. It's good to have a plan in place. Had my first acupuncture with my new clinic and feel so positive about going forward she was totally convinced that she can improve my chance dramatically. Very positive session and got herbal tea to drink twice a day for the next coming months. Got a session every week till we start again. Fx'd this time xx

 

[africaqueen]

Lucie- Good luck for tomorrow. Thinking of you x

Sandy- That is great news that you have a good plan in place and that your raring to go again. All very positive x

Hi to Andrea, Jo, Bugs, Cvaeh and all the gang x

AFM- I am feeling a little better but still pretty low. I think its the complete lack of finances to cover another cycle that is soul destroying. We will safe every penny we can get from the new year and hope to god we manage another cycle by next Autumn and we WILL make sure we get there xxx

 

[Unlucky41]

Hi All,

I have slowly recovered from my sister's news. We talked once over the phone and it wasn't too bad however some baby talk!! She actually rang me to find out whether I wanted to do her booked parasailing as she obviously couldn't. To honest I rather be pregnant but I guess it is another day of distraction!! Every event now a days can be fun but short lived!!

Sandy really happy for you new plan and something to look forward to. Sarah really hope next year is it for you financially, good quality eggs everything

What is everyone doing this weekend?

how is the acupuncture going?

 

[Lucie73821]

Hi all,

Well my level only fell 100 something, not the 15% they were hoping for. The NP contacted the re (who is on the west coast until Sat) and since I am stable, he wants to wait until Mon and do another beta. So I'm still in limbo.

 

[africaqueen]

Jo- Know exactly what you mean. I have fun days but once im home it all becomes done and dusted and my inner emptiness creeps in again x

Lucie- I am sorry you are still in limbo. I hope Monday brings some peace of mind one way or another x

Hi to all the gang xxx

 

[bugs]

Well it must be in the water, I've just had the dreaded phonecall from my sister she's pregnant. I'm a little peeved as she wasn't trying and her husband isn't my favourite person at the minute but she is older than me and it would be just awful on my mum if she was to have problems like me so if anything it takes the pressure of me a little xxxx

 

[cvaeh]

Hi everyone

Hope everyone is okay.
Africa i can totally understand where your coming from. All our friends and collegues seem to be announcing their pregnancies even though they have only been together five minutes. We have been together ten and married for five years and it just doesn't seem fair.
Lucie- hope all turns out okay for you.

Afm- we had our appointment with donation team this week. A lot to think about. We need to decide whether to spend nine thousand on an exclusive donor or six on an egg share. Neither one guarantees mature eggs. We are swinging for egg share as we have never been told that it is definitely my eggs just that it probably is. Oh i hate decisions x x x x

 

[bugs]

Cveah wouldn't you consider abroad for donor eggs, it's much cheaper and the clinic I use only use proven donors so they know how they will respond with egg sharing in this country they only run a few basic tests, some poor women ended up with half of my shitty eggs. I don't even know why they let me egg share with my history but they did.

Just something else for you to think about xxxx

 

[Unlucky41]

Well it must be in the water, I've just had the dreaded phonecall from my sister she's pregnant. I'm a little peeved as she wasn't trying and her husband isn't my favourite person at the minute but she is older than me and it would be just awful on my mum if she was to have problems like me so if anything it takes the pressure of me a little xxxx

Oh I totally understand how you feel!!! It really hit me when my sister gives me her parasailing ticket as she no longer does it and says I should be thankful for getting it for free !!! Excuse me I rather be pregnant than distract myself with all these outings that only last for a little while. She was so insensitive to be honest!! Good thing you can see the good side of it all my sister is younger slightly and they have been living in different states hence only see each other once a month. Seriously how unfair is this life

Hope you have a good weekend though.

cvaeh if you go with an exclusive donor can you see their track history ? as in how many successful embryos have they given others?

Sarah I pray that our emptiness one day soon gets filled with something so joyful. Pray that God actually listens and says yes instead of wait. I am so sick of waiting.

 

[Lucie73821]

I had more bloodwork done today. Just heard from the doctor and my numbers are falling appropriately. So now I will go every Monday until my levels go to 0. Hopefully it won't take too long.

Hope everyone is well.

 

[africaqueen]

Clare- Its always hard isnt it. Hearing someone close to you is preg cos we can't just ignore it like with others... its hard. We will get there one day x

Cvaeh- If it comes to us having a DE cycle we will go abroad as cheaper. Would be nice to have treatment here so we have our home comforts but financially we just couldnt afford and as Bugs said, this country arent proven donors like abroad. Good luck with whatever you decide x

Jo- Yes i hope god grants our one wish and allows us joy in our lifetime x

Lucie- I am glad your numbers are falling but so sorry your going through this x

Hi Andrea and all the gang x

AFM- I am just trying to focus on my weight loss and on getting fitter atm. I got my 3 stone award last week at slimming class. Iv lost that since May, but in total iv lost more getting there. xxx