Support thread for ladies who have had 3+ failed IVF cycles

[Sandy83]

Unlucky, Congrats on the Baby Girl! Sorry to here about your girlfriend and it does give you a shock when something like that happens to someone so close to you.

Dovkav, Sorry to hear about DH's morfology are you still going ahead with ER today? If you are Good luck thinking about you

Bubumaci, How was the scan on Friday?

AFM had a bit of a rough weekend with DH being in hospital as don't sleep as good when he is not there. He also had a bit of an off day yesterday and just isn't sleeping in hospital so he is extremely tired which isn't helping and totally lost his appetite. Kills me to not be there with him and also not being able to help. I've spoke to him this morning and said he is feeling better so fx'd it was just one off day! xx

 

[bubumaci]

Jo - yay for
It is so true - we always hear stories, that put everything in perspective and make us take another look at our lives and what we take for granted, sadly!

Dovkav - that is a really knock concerning DH's morphology! Have you received any other results from the DNA fragmentation analysis? If you are going ahead with it : good luck for the ER today!! xx

Sandy - I am so sorry that DH is feeling so rotten. It does make a difference, being able to sleep in one's own bed! Glad to hear that he is feeling better today and fingers crossed, that it really was just one "off" day!!! xxx

AFM - I was blown away by the u/s on Friday! So Pünktchen measured 2,6cm, heart was beating away beautifully ... but what was really incredible, she looked at Pünktchen from all angles. From above, I could clearly see the two hemispheres of the brain!! Imagine that - in something so tiny! From the side, two little paddle hands and paddle feet ... which incidentally were pedalling away (really bizarre, seeing Pünktchen being so active and not feeling anything *grin*). So she was happy with us
I go back again next week on Thursday - last minute check-up to make sure that everything really is developing well, so that I can feel comfortable flying on the 20th.
The appointment after that is May 5th, to have the nuchal transparency scan done....

Here is a picture from Friday

 

[Sandy83]

Wow bubumaci, sounds like you had an amazing scan on Friday, glad it went so well. Where are you off to on 20th? xx

 

[bubumaci]

Well, we had booked our trip before getting pregnant. To visit Family in Orlando, USA. Especially after my Mother passed away in May last year, contact to that side of the family has become particularly important to me (we have always been close, but became much closer after Mama died).
Practically all family members - DH's parents, my Dad ... have tried to talk us out of flying. Worried, that something might happen to Pünktchen. I have always been pretty matter of fact about it - if there is a medical reason, why I shouldn't fly, I will cancel without hesitation. But all the reading and research I have done indicate, that flying won't harm Pünktchen. (In fact, even one article said that flying was safer than driving in the first trimester, because of all the bumps in the road .. thought of sending that to my MIL after she said, she would rather we drove to Lake Garda!). We won't be quite into second trimester (flying on 11w6d) when we go ... and I know that the risk of miscarriage is higher in first trimester ... and also, the older we get (I'm 38 now). But I also know, that if we are going to lose this baby, there is nothing I can do about it - flying is not going to change that. If the pregnancy is healthy, then it will continue to be healthy - and likewise if it's the opposite.
But try convincing all these people, who are worried, knowing what we have gone through to get this far ... Very hard and has actually been really stressful for me.
When we spoke with our doctor two weeks ago, she initially didn't say anything against flying only "will you be able to live with yourselves if something does happen?". I was so upset, I practically burst into tears then and there.
I mean - we also had a second trip organised, beginning of September to the Dominican Republic (because a friend of ours wants to celebrate his 40th there with his friends and we are / were all going). As soon as she heard 32nd-34th week, she advised against it - but not because of the flight... but if something were to happen there, the medical support is nothing like here. So I promptly agreed to cancel and DH can go by himself with our friends.
But with this trip ... I said that I would make a very last-minute decision. I will go to the scan next week and if everything is developing as it should, we are going to fly. Funnily enough, DH told me last night (and he had been worried about flying and radiation and everything, but has done research..) that he had decided we could go ... because he knew how happy it would make me - and happy me = happy Pünktchen (was his logic) ...

Once I had made it clear to my doctor (on Friday), that I am well aware of the risks and if the pregnancy is not healthy, it won't matter whether I fly or confine myself to the house - she understood (she had advised against flying simply for my own psychological "peace of mind" that we hadn't done anything to endanger the pregnancy) - that I was aware of the situation. I asked her - "I need to know : will the trip / flying negatively affect this pregnancy?" - her answer was "no". I then said, so if in two weeks everything is OK and I then decide to fly, will you, as my physician, feel OK with that decision. And she said "yes".

But you guys can't imagine what a struggle this has been. My Dad has now accepted - I think MIL+FIL too - but they were all putting so much pressure on me and stressing me, that I got really angry I know they only mean well and worry for us and the baby - but I really wouldn't do anything (you girls know what I have gone through to get this far) that would endanger the baby and I really feel OK with flying. Not to mention that we have booked business class, so I won't be all cramped, but really have room to stretch out and be comfortable...

So - all being well on the 17th and we are off to Orlando on the 20th, flying back 2nd-3rd May. xx

 

[Sandy83]

Oh bubumaci sounds like you have had such a stressful time! I can understand your family being concerned but as you say it doesn't matter what you do if its a healthy pregnancy it will not be affected. As long as you and DH are happy with your decision go for it and agree with DH happy mammy means happy baby.

Sounds like you will have a great time xx

 

[dovkav123]

Bubu, sorry about the stress you have. Your intuition has to be nr1 in this decision. It's all about you and your baby.

Sandy, praying and hoping for your hubby's appetite. I hope he'll eat something, bring him his favorite food. Even if he says no. Ginger can help with nausea. Ginger tea or ginger ale. Some crackers...

ON Monday we found an egg and today it got fertilised. We'll wait till Thursday to transfer cos on the day3 DR will check the egg's shell, if it's hard, they will do assisted hatching. We have never done it before. I'll take aspirin, 300mg progesterone, we'll BD and I'll eat lots of pineapple core.
FRom 6 eggs we got 4 fertilised(perfect grade) and two with 3 pronuclei, not viable. Not a bad statistics.....

Egg retrieval was smooth, IVF lab asked if about anethesia and my dr. told them I didn't needed. Someone said OUCH!!!
I didn't make a sound during procedure. I had 23,1mm follicle and next to it was 11mm(she took a chance, she knew it won't be mature). She aspirated both. WE got one egg.

My hubby was holding my hand.

During sperm "retrieval" my hubby was looking in the book, I gave a helping hand, and he felt an urge, so the first drops got on the floor and his hands

his volume was 38mil,morfology 5%, fast sperm 0%, 20% slower.

Yesterday was a good day cos my hubby told me if it won't work will do a stim IVF in US. Finally he agrees we need to do a serious baby making decisions.

 

[Sandy83]

Got everything crossed for you Dovkav and hope you don't need to do a stim IVF but great to know DH is up for that xx

 

[bubumaci]

That is great that you had such a positive experience yesterday - and that they have been able to fertilise That is a good idea to check for AH. Does your clinic always do such early transfers? Never day 5?
I was wondering, why would you have to go to the US for a stimulated IVF? But it is really great that DH is more on board with the serious baby-making decisions! Hopefully (all fingers + toes crossed), you won't need to think about it anyway, because this will work

Sending you lots and lots of

I just picked up a pair of compression stockings (originally thought for the flight), but the lady suggested - if I am prone to swelling anyway, and I do sit all day for work - that I wear them all the time during the pregnancy. It is amazing, how much lighter my legs feel with them on!

 

[dovkav123]

we have done one time 3dt (old clinic didn't check the embryo's shell) but other two times 2dt. WE have only one embryo per cycle, no competition...so why wait... My uterine incubator is better than the lab one.
Naturally 2dt embryo should travel from the tube to the uterus. My dr tells that uterine enviroment is better for embryo.

my clinic grows embryos to blastocysts too.

we live in US(North Cal), we are here temporary.

 

[bubumaci]

I understand! If that is what the doctor says, then who am I to argue? (From all that I have read, the environment in the fallopian tubes is a bit different to the uterus and normally, a fertilised egg won't have made it to the uterus until around 5dpo) - which is one reason why so many clinics now prefer doing 5 day transfers (apart from the fact that - with more fertilised eggs - they can select the ones that look better and that make it to day 5).

Of course it does make sense to transfer it earlier, since you only have that one anyway!

When do you plan to return to the US? If your clinic does do 5 day transfers too, why not try a medicated cycle here (... not that you will need it of course, because this little bean is going to burrow its way in )? Just wondering?

How long does temporarily mean? How long have you been here? (I don't remember whether I had asked, where in Germany you are located...?) ...

Oh - I know I asked this earlier : when do you get the DNA fragmentation results?

 

[Bluebell bun]

Hi ladies, Yet more disappointment. Went in for my FET this morning to find our embryo had lost 50% of its cells and they have given it a less that 10% success rate. I am still p..'d off by the fact they were so insistent I had to use this one and not my 2 x day 3 embryos that were frozen. This was a day 6 , grade 2 BB embryo so by no means brilliant quality to begin with. Just feel that this has been more lost weeks of time, energy and emotion. We have put it back and are on a wing and a prayer! It just doesn't get any easier:nope

 

[bubumaci]

Oh Bluebell, I am sorry that you have disappointing news ... I can understand the clinic preferring to try with the blastocyst, as opposed to the 3 day embryos - they probably thought the chances would be higher with it (because they are further along and often more resilient to the freezing / thawing process) ... Fingers and toes crossed for you Honey, that it is resilient and can develop despite the low chances they have given you!
What quality were the 2 three day embryos they have frozen?

When do you have your first beta?

 

[Sandy83]

Sorry to hear your news Bluebell Fx'd that it's a fighter xx

 

[Bluebell bun]

Thank you ladies xx

 

[dovkav123]

sorry bluebell Wonderful things can happen. I have heard many stories about healthy babies and poor embryo's quality.
I hope and pray for both this 2ww for a good news.

 

[dovkav123]

yesterday we transfered 3dt 8B (embriologist told me A between B), but in report was writtten 8B. Got the photo.
I felt some activity yesterday in my uterus, Today nothing.
NO cervical contractions so far, I ussually felt before 5dt in 3 cases. It was a bad news for me. I was thinking here they come, no good!

An embryo shell was 15-20, assited hatching with a laser was performed. They made a whole. In the literature I read if zona pellucida more than 15, AH is recommended.

I rested 30min after ET
I take 100mg aspirin a day
3g fish oil (helps with immunity response)
alfa alfa, sweet pea sprouts,
300mg progesterone
VitD 3000
flaxseed oil
q-10
eating pinapple, avocado
stopped my green tea
eating dandelion salats
BD before ET and will BD on 4dt and so on...

I have read that AH embryo could implant earlier and it is a chance for monozygote twins

a whole in the embryo's shell could cause infection. Some ladies take antibiotics...

ODT is on the Easter. Clinic is closed.
If we get lucky, we stil could have a baby in 2014, around my birthday or in early January.

 

[bubumaci]

Oh Dovkav - I have everything crossed for you!!! (Number 7 is usually my lucky number ... ended up being #9 with us ) - I really hope this is it for you. It is great that they have done AH ... (don't forget, that orgasm will cause uterine contractions ... if the embryo isn't supposed to be in your uterus yet, is it a good idea to before the time it should be there? Just a thought - if it makes you happy, then go for it



Perhaps you can hug a pregnant woman (I am sending virtual hugs to you), as it apparently brings luck



AFM - some "surprise" news ... :
I my gynaecologist! She rang this morning, because she had been thinking and really wanted me to go see a doctor at the prenatal diagnostic clinic she works with, as they could prescribe aspirin/ heparin for the long-haul flight. She made me an appointment and I went at 1 ...
So, I have my prescription, but I also got to see Pünktchen again - via abdominal u/s (my first) ... My NT-Scan is scheduled for May 5th - but she took a quick look and said that it looks absolutely perfect and we have nothing to worry about ...
And here are some photos of my Pünktchen - who now measures 3,95cm (so we are back spot on with our dates), has two arms, with two hands and 10 fingers ... two legs, with two feet and 10 toes .. has been drinking already... heart beating away nicely ... umbilical cord looked perfect with two arteries + one vein and the placenta was looking good too ... Pünktchen waved at us a few times - and I also was given 4 3D pictures
She told us, that we are fine and we should go and enjoy our holiday
So - off to Orlando on April 20th
What a sweet little profile ... and thumbs ... and everything .... just can't stop grinning... (especially, since I wasn't expecting to see Pünktchen again until next week Thursday!) xxxx

 

[dovkav123]

I didn't think about contractions during Orgasm. Good that you told me I am so blessed to have you, bubumaci!
I had my contracting cervix in the past w/o BD.
Good we didn't do it yet. I can live without orgasm and bouncy sex.
Our goal is to increase implantation with a spermies and a seminal fluid.
Our clinic does this procedure, inserts seminal fluid inside and outside the cervix

your baby is so small 4cm and he is so big in development

 

[bubumaci]

It was just a thought ... perhaps you can and you not orgasm? I find it interesting, that the clinic does that procedure - I hadn't heard of it before Anything that helps!!
I really have fingers and toes crossed for you!!!

It is really incredible, only 4cm and yet so much of the foundation is already there! The doctor even said, that Pünktchen had something in its tummy, so it has already started drinking!!

 

[Unlucky41]

dovkav praying that 7 is your lucky number!!! It sounds like you have done everything and eating all the good things. Hopefully this is a sticky one and you can have double celebrations at the end of the end!!
Are you going to test or be patient till the blood test?

Bub great looking photos glad everything is going well and have a blast on your babymoon!!!!I know there was a lot of stress deciding to go but you have the doctor approval so enjoy

Sandy how is everything going with you?

AFM - 20 weeks scan in 3 days time however haven't felt the baby moved yet can't help to feel a little bit anxious. Happy that our dreadful year-end at work is all over 4 days to our 1 week getaway to Melbourne not very far but better than nothing.