Support thread for ladies who have had 3+ failed IVF cycles

[Peachy1584]

MrsE you couldn't be more right. Of course with my miscarriage betas finally looked great and it seemed perfect but I kept having that niggling feeling. Then when they said the yolk sac was borderline big and could mean something was wrong I was devastated but then the next two u/s were great and his heartbeat was great and he was growing right on schedule and the sac hadn't been growing I finally had hope. Then the next one his heartbeat was just gone... it's hard now not to protect myself from that pain and devastation but on the other hand I decided it's not just about me. Whoever is in there is trying their best to grow inside of me needs all my love and strength to have a chance so I cannot deny them that. They all start out as embryos and whether they end up a BFN or a bfp that is later lost they are still our babies and it will hurt regardless because it is a loss and should be grieved rightfully so. I can't wait to hear about your rainbow baby MrsE. Sometimes we just take a longer route to get to the same place

 

[Sandy83]

Well said Peachy!

Bubumaci, We are going to the lake district which is only 2 hours away from where we live but still good to get away!

Well I've just had DH on the phone and the Dr has called him to say he has had a quick look at his scan results and looks like the chemo has work extremely well so that is amazing news. Still got to go to the appointment next week to have a full discussion about the results but is great news so far! Feel like we have passed a major hurdle with DH getting better and hope the good news continues to roll in xx

 

[MrsE75]

Sandy - amazing news. Go an enjoy the Lake District with some peace of mind, one of mine and hubby's favourite places to relax.

Enjoy xxxx

 

[bubumaci]

Peachy - unfortunately, Baby Showers are not really held here (Germany), much as I would love one. But in a few weeks we are having a big party to celebrate DH's birthday (didn't manage to the past few months yet), my birthday (which will have been 3 days before the party), house warming (because last year was so shitty for me, I didn't want to celebrate much) and Pre-Pünktchen-Arrival If we are lucky, we might get a couple of Pünktchen gifts then

I look forward to hearing your next beta (BTW - 6w2d is when we saw Pünktchen's heartbeat and I was released from the clinic...) All fingers and toes crossed Sweetie!

Sandy ... that is wonderful news! I am over the moon for you

 

[africaqueen]

Just checking in to say hi and i hope everyone is well.
I had a fab weekend in Scotland and was miserable going back to work today! lol.
xxx

 

[ashknowsbest]

Hi ladies! I have a quick question. I'm supposed to be starting my BCPs today gearing up for my FET but I'm not sure if I'm supposed to just start at the beginning of the packet of pills or start somewhere else. There are 21 pink pills and then 7 blue. I just want to make sure I'm taking the correct pills ....

 

[bubumaci]

I've never had to take BCP while doing IVF or FET, but I would have thought definitely start at the beginning. The 7 blue pills are for the "pill-free" period, when you are not giving your body hormones and normally, that is the time you get your period. Yours just have 28 days' worth of pills, so that they can constantly be taken (4 weeks). So just start at the beginning and stop when the clinic tells you.... Fingers tightly crossed for your FET

 

[ashknowsbest]

Thanks bubu! Ended up hearing from my doctor but she said the exact same thing! I'm keeping everything crossed for this FET!

 

[wtbmom_tx]

]Hello,
I'm new to this forum, and as I'm reading I feel like I can relate with a lot of you. This is my first time joining a group like this, but I feel I need to connect with people who are going through or have gone through the same thing as me. Friends and family try to help, but don't know what to really say because they are unable to relate.
So a let me tell you all about me. I'm 29 and DH is also 29, he has no problem. I've had three ectopic pregnancies. The first one ruptured, the second was caught in time so they were able to scrape my tube. Six months later we had another ectopic and nothing could be done to save it 😞, and to make matters worse my right ovary was also removed because it was full of blood!!! Doc couldn't give me an explanation as to why. Our only option to get pregnant was IVF.

When I was 26 we decided to go for IVF. First one was a fresh cycle. We were able to get two embies, but ended up as a BFN..
We tried our second fresh IVF the following year and were able to transfer two and freeze three!! Again it was a negative. My DH wanted to do a frozen right away, so we waited for my period and went ahead and did it. Two frosties were transferred and to our surprise we got a BFP!! We were excited cause we couldn't believe the time had finally come for us. A week later I had gone to the restroom and a ton of blood came out (no cramps). I went to the doc for a sono and they said it was a CP.. We were so heart broken we waited about two years for the next one, which was this summer. We transferred one and got a negative..
Sorry for venting, but I feel I can relate with you all. My question here is have any of you done a fifth cycle? We want to purse the fifth one with a new cycle, but have to save the money for it, so who knows if we can do this next summer.

 

[bubumaci]

Ash - that's great that you were able to get confirmation from your doctor

Hi wtbmom ... I am so sorry you have had all these struggles + ectopics and loss of tubes / ovaries!! So so hard and I totally get your devastation!

In answer to your question, whether anyone has done a 5th cycle : yes. I have! We went through 9 cycles before getting our BFP! We had to do ICSI (which is essentially IVF but where the sperm is injected into the ovum).

1st cycle fresh (June 2012) = BFN
2nd cycle FET (July 2012) = BFN
3rd cycle FET (August 2012) = BFN
4th cycle fresh (September 2012) = BFN
5th cycle FET (October 2012) = FBN
6th cycle fresh (February 2013) (had to postpone because of OHSS)... so FET (April 2013) = BEFN
7th cycle fresh (July 2013) = CP
8th cycle fresh (November 2013) = CP
9th cycle fresh (February 2014) = BFP

So - as you can see from my signature - it took us 88 retrieved eggs, 56 fertilised and 20 transferred before we came away with our little miracle! In fact, at the beginning of the year, I had said, that since I will be 40 next year, if we haven't succeeded by the end of the year, we are giving up ... first try of the year brought us our miracle baby!

You are both still so young - if you have the mental energy (and I know how much this whole process saps you of energy, what it does to you physically and emotionally) to continue, then I would suggest to work on saving the money and keep trying. There seems to be no physical reason (other than having only one ovary) as to why it shouldn't work. You have managed to get pregnant on a couple of occasions, so both you and DH are healthy - so by doing IVF, you should be able to get there...

 

[Peachy1584]

Ash I hope this cycle is it for you!!

Wtbmom so sorry you've had to go through so much have they said why they font think it has worked or tweaked each cycle to try something a little different? It's hard because I've always believed it's a numbers and it's just about finding the right one and I believe you will : )

Bubu I wish you all had baby showers maybe you could start a new trend! Hopefully you do get gifts to help out and enjoy bday! : )

 

[wtbmom_tx]

Bubu, thank you sooo much for your kind words!!! We have looked into a new facility in a different city. I believe I can go through as many cycles ( as long as we are financially able to) as we have to get our little miracle. Congratulations on your BFP!!

Peachy, also congratulations on your BFP!! As for our cycles we haven't done anything different, which is why DH suggested I look into finding a new doctor. His co worker told him about a one they went to 2 hours from where we live and were successful. I have emailed the facility, briefly explaining my history. Their reply has made me hopeful. They said they would go into more testing to see if my uterus or my body is resisting implantation. All my clinic tested for was to see if my body would reject my DH sperm (which it didn't)

 

[bugs]

WTBMOM, I also had both my tubes removed due to an ectopic after my 1st cycle. I went through numerous cycles which either failed or early losses. I believe there could be a connection with ectopics/tube damage and immune issues. Once I had been diagnosed as having immune issues the treatment is very straight forward steroids during treatment and a few intralipids. My issues were also poor quality eggs but after 8 cycles using my own eggs we were ready to try something else and cracked it on our 1st cycle.
Now I'm not saying this is the case for everyone with tube issues but it is my thoughts and another route you may wish to go down. Good luck x

Hi to everyone else sorry I haven't been around much, I'm pretty knackered and waiting for all this energy I'm supposed to get in 2nd trimester. We're are on holiday at the moment enjoying our last holiday as a couple and I've got my 20 week scan on the 24th so excited for that. Hope everyone else is well xxxx

 

[wtbmom_tx]

Bugs, Thank You so much for your sharing your experience. That is one of the reason we have decided to try a different clinic, because our current one never told us if their was a problem with our eggs or not.
My doc back home is in shock not knowing why it hasn't worked, because to him I seem perfectly healthy. This new clinic we are looking into, will require more testing, which we don't mind as long as we get our baby. We have talked about donor eggs, and if that's our last resort we will surely go through it.
Congratulations on your pregnancy, wishing you the best!!

 

[bugs]

WTBMOM I would say if you have good quality embryo's put back and they don't take it could well be an immune response. Also I had my treatment in Greece and they do a test called the hidden C test to see if there is any underlying infections present in your uterus which is sometimes the case with tubal damage, you have to send a sample of your period which is yucky but if it comes back positive they just prescribe a strong course of antibiotics.
With me we never really got any amazing embryo's they were always pretty average and so we had to take our consultants advice when she suggested donor eggs.
I am a strong believer that if you can't get there in 3 cycles something needs to be changed or tests need to be done. There's always room for improvement xxx

 

[bubumaci]

WTBMOM - the thing that we also always have to keep in mind is - even if what looks like good quality embryos are transferred (at 5 days blastocysts or at 3 days 8 cell-embryos) at this point, we cannot tell what the genetic make-up is. Yes, we have fertilised eggs - but even in "healthy" people who can get pregnant naturally, many many cycles will pass, where the eggs get fertilised and develop, maybe even start to try implanting - but due to chromosome issues, will not survive.
That was likely the case many a time with us. And it doesn't have to be, because there is something wrong with the parents, but simply, because in the development, something goes wrong. Our doctor told us about a woman, who had had a child long long ago and then was having trouble getting pregnant again (had several chemicals and miscarriages). So they tested the parents genetically and it turned out, that on two of her chromosomes, she had a genetic mutation - which didn't affect her, but was perhaps playing a role when creating offspring.
So they decided to try IVF and do PID (pre-implanation diagnostics). They ended up having 5 (I think) blastocysts, which they then tested. The first showed a genetic mutation on 3 different chromosomes (one of which the Mother also had, but two she didn't). The second also showed genetic mutations - on 5 different chromosomes (another of the Mother's but also 4 additional ones). The third and fourth embryos showed genetic mutations all across the board on several chromosomes - NONE of which the Mother had. The fifth was fine, was transferred and ended up being their take-home baby.

But this only goes to show, that when creating a new life, things can go wrong and when we think we are transferring embryos that seem to be perfect, they might not be - and therefore, they just arrest in their development at some point.
We can get only so far with science - and then Mother Nature does the rest. Our doctor was convinced, that it was just a matter of time before we would get pregnant - but he just couldn't guarantee how long it would take. He did (after we switched to him in November 2012) tweak the treatment, suggested supplements etc. and with each try, the results got better and better ... but without doing PID, you can never be sure if the embryos being transferred are going to stick ...

I mean, I am healthy - my husband is (excepting the lack of sperm / the lack of motility when there are sperm) also healthy - no genetic issues or hormonal or immune issues found ... so after fertilisation, there was no reason why it shouldn't work : except for nature ...

Maybe trying pre-implanation diagnosis would be something you could try (after testing everything else) - it definitely ups the chances of transferring and embryo that is likely to survive ...

 

[captainj1]

hi girls, hope everyone is doing OK. Been a while since I've posted, was fairly low after my failed cycle in April but was feeling a bit more optimistic leading up to natural cycle IVF which we were trying this month. However, I had ER this morning and despite there being 2 large follicles (one larger than the other), neither contained an egg. My consultant is baffled and wants to discuss with his colleagues before we have our follow up appointment. He had the embryologist look at the fluid in the follicles and he said something about granular cells, slate cells, being present? And that there seems to be an issue with the egg maturation process. the follicles were 18mm on Friday so there should have been something in there.

No wonder I've had no luck conceiving naturally if I'm not actually producing any eggs. I'm devastated, as no idea where we go from here and it will be a couple of weeks before my follow up. Does anyone have any similar experiences?

X

 

[bubumaci]

Hi Captain
I am so sorry that you just had ER without any little eggies in there You must be feeling so frustrated ... I wonder whether that was just bad luck this time around and otherwise you are producing mature eggs?
I cannot report of similar experiences, but I really really do hope that they are able to find out what is going on and will be able to come up with a solution! As awful as this sounds (I too am 38, going on 39 next month), it may be an age-related thing, where you do on most cycles produce mature eggs and ovulate, but not on all cycles? Since it would seem that for the previously stimulated cycles they were able to retrieve and fertilise eggs ..?

Huge hugs to you Sweetie!

 

[dovkav123]

Captain, I am so sorry about your failed natural IVF. I am heartbroken for you. I have been there, I have suffered lots of failures too.
Do you mean you don't stimulate your ovaries and wait for a natural egg to grow? This kind of goal was mine. I think you should try for another one, I agree with bubumaci. IN Germany the prices are more affordable than in England.
I have had 7 natural IVFs in 7 cycles
6 eggs retrieved
4 fertilised(got transfered 4 or 8 cells )
(the fourth one is a lucky one BFP one, did assisted hatching and aspirin)

During my first IVF natural cycle an egg was not retrieved. The follicle was 14-15mm in the morning and in the evening I did the HCG trigger. They did check hormones that day, estrogen, progesterone and LH make sure I havn't O yet.
Other IVFs we found an 18mm in the morning, triggered next day in the evening and retrieval was in 36 hours. We let an egg to mature longer. ON the day of retrieval it grew to 21-23mm.
Here are my detail journey of each natural cycle IVF
https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/a...h-natural-cycle-ivf-w-o-meds-finally-bfp.html

Good luck to you, I am sending you tons of love and hugs

this is a study about a natural cycle IVF for older women, for bad responders
Many women were lucky from the 3rd try.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3169680/

 

[captainj1]

yes it was unstimulated IVF, so just a couple of scans and then ovitrelle trigger on Saturday night and ER today (CD11). I had known that there was every chance there wouldn't be anything to transfer, I had prepared myself for the egg being immature, or not fertilising, or not dividing, or not implanting....and for this taking several goes...just not the possibility of there being no egg in the first place.

My first fresh stim cycle I got 16 eggs, 14 fertilised, 7 5 day blasts so 2 transferred and 5 to freeze. I've never had any success with implantation and my fresh cycles have got worse each time, I am in despair. I'm 39 in 2 weeks and really feeling old.

I have a son who I conceived naturally 4 years ago and who is looking increasingly miraculous. I am so grateful for him, he is my world. I just feel so sad for him that I cannot give him a sibling.

Dovkav do you mind me asking how much natural cycle IVF costs in Germany? I paid £3k for this cycle but my consultant said he will give me a refund so at least that is something. He has already had over £20k of my money so at least that's something.

take care ladies

x