Support thread for ladies who have had 3+ failed IVF cycles

[dovkav123]

Plex!
YAY! Great news! Sending you Tons of love and patients!

 

[MrsE75]

Bub - will do and I too have a feeling that everything is going to work out this time. Pray to god I'm not wrong!

Baby dust to everyone xxx

 

[Peachy1584]

Plex yay!! So happy for you !

Dovkav things went well. At 6 weeks baby measured 5 weeks 6days but she said that's normal and heartbeat was 103. That seemed low to me but she said it was good. I don't think they're ever negative really and I am still scared : ). Is your little bump continuing to grow?

 

[bubumaci]

Peachy - that really is fine!! Sometimes at 6w, some ladies don't even get the heartbeat measurement. Pünktchen was 118 at 6w2d - 103 is perfect, it will go up and up and up, you really were right at the beginning. Some days you will measure over and some days under, that is perfectly normal Do you have a piccie for us?

 

[Plex]

I think every hurdle is a worry do u have another u/s scheduled Peachy? xx

 

[Plex]

I have a question, We had a discussion with our embryologist - brief talk admittedly, but they mentioned that we may have either a compatibility issue between sperm and egg or that they didnt fertilize as they would not form 'normal' embryos.

Ive been thinking alot about PGD and looking at our clinic, they dont offer this Well, i cant see it on the price list or treatment list. I was wondering how much it costs generally?? Im in the uk so have been thinking it costs around an extra £1500 but not sure??

Also did your doctors suggest any tests etc for ur hubbies apart from spem tests? I think my hub has had hiv aswell but thats about it.

Im hopeful this frozen beauty sticks but, knowing my luck recently it wont I just need to price up our next cycle and possibly look at other clinics. I dont like thinking this way but i like to be prepared - i want to cycle again asap so am doing my homework now not the happiest thing to do in your tww but gotta be done

thanks for reading and any help you can give xx

 

[dovkav123]

Plex, In my experience we had 2 that eggs didn't fertilise. I was told on phone "they didn't fertilise". I asked if the sperm is still motile, they said "yes", Ok than let's wait for another night....and they agreed. It was a waste of time....
In the protocol I saw the words 3 pronucleous. It means they fertilise but not corectly. Perfect embryo should have 4 pronucleuos. Embryo with 3 cells has a 3 sets of chromosomes. It can not result in a live baby.
Please get all your resords from your clinic, your hubby's sperm results and embryo evaluation protocol.
How many cells had your frozen one? What grade was it?
You donated some eggs. Can you find out about their fate?

Reasons for a 3 pronuclei embryo:
1. maternal age
2. decrease in estradiol before HCG shot
3. egg maturity
4. high concentration of motile and normal morfology sperm in the medium
5. eggs were incubated in suboptimal conditions.

Egg allows to penetrate it only by one sperm. It has special mechanisms for that. If an egg is not healthy, few sperms may go in.
Is that amazing! Everything is set so perfect in human body.

My hubby was tested HIV, hepatitis B and hepatitis C.
My wishes were to test his heavy metals in his urine (he has mercury fillings in his teeth) and sperm dna fragmentation.

Plex, you did everything in your powers. You deserve to rest. Take this moment and do special things with your hubby.
Imagine that your little one is snuggling in, warm and cozy in your womb. He is a little fighter, he went through a lot and he made it. I am sure he'll grow into strong little penut. Hope and pray.

 

[Plex]

thank you so much Dovkav xx I dont like to think negatively but this is all such a long process with so many let downs that i cant help it

Surprisingly im quite relaxed about everything, AND I havent tested yet!!!! Thats a biggie for me lol Im planning on getting on with things and trying not to think about possible failure too much.

I do know that i had progesterone, fsh,lutenising hormone and oestradol check before collection and my consultant said it all looked perfect, so thats one thing i suppose I am beginning to think that maybe we do have a compatibility issue and only very rarely do we both produce sperm or eggs that 'work' with each other.

I cant help feeling more and more that our lb is an absolute miracle, we are so very blessed It took us 4.5yr with help to get him - hes my main distraction as if i didnt have him i think i wouldnt be coping at all - everyone who is trying so hard for their first deserves their babies so much and its horrible when it doesnt happen xxx

 

[africaqueen]

Hi ladies, sorry been MIA.
Not coping well tbh. I have gone from quite positive and excited to utterly TERRIFIED of another BFN... I just honestly don't know how il cope with another fail after all iv been thru these past 4yrs. I have no choice as its the only way i have of becoming a mum but the thought of this cycle not working is soul destroying. I really miss my mum such a lot these past few weeks too(even more than usual as i obviously miss her every day anyway) i am desperate to have that mother/child bond and i am scared it may never happen. It has been hard with a few of our friends having babies this week too. Will i always be a 'outsider' looking in at a life i can only dream of?? sorry for negativity. Just not feeling great.
Anyway, onto everyone else...

Captain- I am so sorry your cycle failed again. I cannot imagine the heartache you are feeling. We are all here for you x

Plex- Welcome and good luck with the 2ww! lots of baby sticky vibes coming your way x

Sandy- AMAZING news about dh!! made up for you both! what a relief. I hope your WTF appt gives you a good plan to move forward x

Annettecali- Welcome an GL x

MrsE- Hope things with you are well? can't think who the celeb could be! inbox me! ha. Has IVF bootcamp started yet?? x

Bubu- Hope all is going well for you? x

Bugs- How are things? x

Unlucky- How are u doing? x

Hi to Dov, Peachy, and all the gang. Sorry if iv missed anyone out xxx

 

[bubumaci]

Hey Sarah!!!
I so get how you are feeling! And am also sending you huge hugs (I know that feeling, missing Mama)... And don't apologise for how you are feeling, it is so natural and it is better to get it out there, than to have it eat you up from inside.
I would really recommend some hypnotherapy to help you get through the IVF - if you are interested, I will post the link to the site where I downloaded the tracks. Really helped put me in a good place, a more relaxed and accepting place ...

I am doing OK, thank you. Felt a bit off last night, stomach (organ) felt weird and I think I had some Braxton Hicks (the first ones I have felt - uterus contracts and practices from week 7, but you don't feel it that early) - some upper end of tummy, some lower end. What unnerved me, was that I have been feeling pelvic pressure for a couple of days and then combined with that (and it felt like it was more than only 1-2 in an hour) worried me a bit. Tomorrow morning I have my Oral Glucose Tolerance Test and I had already rung yesterday and asked to have an u/s to check my cervical length (since my prenatal this month is at the birthing house and the midwives don't check that sort of thing) - so she'll be checking cervix + length. That is comforting. Not so nice is the fasting from 8pm tonight (am sipping water, it is just too warm to not drink anything) until drinking the sweet concoction tomorrow morning at the doctor's ... Then Thursday is my next check-up.

On August 6th - my birthday - my Daddy will be here from England (flying in on the 5th and leaving on the 7th) I have organised a surprise for him and my parents-in-law. We are going to have 3D/4D session (which they know nothing about) so they are going to get to see their grandchild in utero. I am really excited about it, I hope to get some really nice pictures of Pünktchen and they film the whole thing, so also some moving pictures ...
Oh - and baby furniture is being delivered next week, so we can put it together and have that behind us

:wave: to everyone and

 

[africaqueen]

Ooh all sounds very exciting Andrea! what a lovely surprise for your Dad and inlaws! you will have to post a pic for us to see from the scan Bet you miss your dad. I don't think id cope without my dad being so close. He really is my rock cos as much as i obviously love my hubby he does not do well with emotional stuff.

Yes, please send the link for the hypno! anything is worth a try and i want to be as calm as poss before this cycle starts. Easier said than done! lol. How you coped with all those cycles is amazing! i think this cycle will be the last for us regardless of outcome as i can't take the emotional aspect of all this for a 5th time! hoping its 4th time lucky for us xxx

 

[bugs]

AQ I'm sorry your feeling stressed, what I would say is as your using the same clinic make sure you have a totally new protocol. I found that with care they just kept increasing stimms and with just pure menopur which did nothing but fry my eggs. Seeing as it's maybe your last attempt would you not consider donor eggs. I honestly think I would never have got pregnant with my own. I know it's a big decision to make but the end result is what matters. I really wish you every success we've been treading these boards a long time now.

Sorry for no other personals I'm on holiday on my phone at the moment. We're home tonight and I have my 20 week scan tomorrow so I'm very nervous and very excited all at the same time xxx

 

[bubumaci]

Here is the link, Sarah : https://www.natalhypnotherapy.co.uk
Actually, I only used it for the last try (so the one that brought me my BFP ). I found it very relaxing, helped me to have an even more positive mental attitude. I used the one for IVF until the day we saw the heartbeat and since then, I have been using the Pregnancy Relaxation tracks. From 32w onwards, I will then use the hypnobirthing tracks.

Yes, I do find it hard - have always found it hard, since the separation of my parents. They divorced in 1988, when I was 13 and then my Father re-married in 1989, less than a year together with the new woman. My Mother was living in Germany at the time, my Father in England. (I had been in a boarding school since 11)... One year after they married, it was decided, that it would be better for me to be with my Mother - so I moved to Germany at 15. ... I was always Daddy's girl, so the distance and not seeing each other much was tough.
Anyway, for all my adult life, I have not lived in the same country even as my parents! (well, apart from University - I went to Bath and Daddy was in England, but not that close) ... when I moved back to Munich, my Mother was living in Budapest, Hungary and my Father in the UK. So I have no family here - just the one I married into.

I really hope you do decide to get the IVF tracks. You start listening to them when you start the meds. Really make sure you get that half hour to yourself, turn phones and any other disturbances off, and let yourself "fall". I actually found that after a few sessions, I either fell asleep to it / the hypnosis is deep and it feels like waking up from a sleep. But that is fine, the subconscious is still lapping it up and it means that you are really relaxed, which is what you want to achieve

 

[MrsE75]

AQ I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling but it happens to is all so completely natural and you will come out the other side before you do a cycle.

Yes Ivf Bootcamp has started on Monday! So far I've been in everyday for bloods and got my 2nd scan tomorrow. Had a hysteroacopy this morning for them to check I had not fibroids or cysts and they clean out your uterus and make sure there is nothing hostile in there and do a scratch to help implantation. I was told by the last consultant that I had a deep v uterus slightly bicornia but they said today that is was normal size and nothing unusual.

So keep you posted. Back in tomorrow for blood test and scan so far so good. Xx

Good luck for the scans ladies and seeing your babas! Xx

 

[bubumaci]

Ooooh - MrsE - sounds exciting!
I had the scratch done the last 4 times ... I think it is good that they have done it - our doctor had also had positive results with doing the scratch!

 

[africaqueen]

Clare- Good luck with your scan and let us know how it goes. This is our last cycle using my own eggs. We are going for mild IVF this time around as a last resort. If this fails we will be saving for DE cycle x

Andrea- Thank you for the link! i shall check it out tomorrow anything worth a try! x

MrsE- All sounds very hopeful! so far so good eh. Good luck x

Hi to all the gang x

AFM- Still feeling unbalanced(lol) but not the state i got in yesterday as no matter what, we cant make this work can we? we have to hope and pray it does but its down to nature really xxx

 

[MrsE75]

AQ I don't know if this helps you but something an Ivf friend said to me. Pregnancy is not going to happen for me naturally so Ivf is a chance that we don't get in a normal month. I'm trying not to see it as the be all and end all it's a chance not the only one though!

Hope that helps put it in perspective for you. If you don't do it your chances of being a mummy is further away. Ivf is a step nearer simple as that. Xxxx

Done my bloods and scan today so waiting for my phone call to find out what mix of drugs I need to take today! X

 

[Plex]

again girls - hope u are all well?

Im now 8dp5dt and getting all why is this process so soul destroying????

beta 2moro am but im not optimistic AT ALL. Makes me wonder why i bother my arse Im with you africa, im bloody terrified of another cycle and all the heartache that comes with it We will be about bankrupting ourselves for this last cycle if/when we need it. I think after that we'll give up and pursue adoption. Well, we'll have no choice in the matter. I want another child and at this point dont care how that comes about. Ideally a biological child but I think I have more than enough love to cover a forever baby that someone else bravely wants a better life for

I hate injections, i hate the scans, i hate the false hope and false symptoms. In fact my excitement about ivf has dulled to such a level that if i dont detest it soon I'll be very surprised.

Sorry im feeling very insular today and not doing any personals, event though i want to, im just sat here crying and am no use to anyone

When ive had my results 2moro and have had time to process it all, ill be back with full force and chatting away like a good un

sending to you all xx

 

[captainj1]

hi Plex, hope you are OK (but know you're not) - so many of us on this thread can totally empathise with how you are feeling. I am in a similar position to you with one child already. I just had my 6th cycle fail, didn't get any eggs (it was a natural cycle but I had two big follicles). My consultant has concluded we should not continue as there were very few granulosa cells in my follicular fluid, which implies a problem with egg maturation. He told me he thinks we maybe have a 10% chance of IVF working, and a similar chance of natural conception working. So we shouldn't waste our money and have all the crap that goes with ivf when it won't increase our chances.

I am incredibly disappointed but your comments about detesting IVF really resonated. That first cycle of mine went so well, textbook response, 2 perfect blasts transferred, 5 to freeze...it has all gone downhill since then. Whilst I'm crying lots and very sad, a little part of me is very relieved I will not be putting myself through this again. I have let this distract me for too long. I have to look forward and enjoy my son and my life. And enjoy sex again, with no agenda - who knows, we might get a miracle. But if not, we have to be amazed by the one we have already - who is more miraculous than ever given what I know now.

I have to say, amongst the slog of it I had kind of lost sight of why we were doing it. I would love my son to have a sibling, don't get me wrong. But by the end, was it that I didn't want to fail? competitiveness? stubbornness? I don't know. I have given all my spare time and energy to this over the last 2 years and that should have gone on my son. I resent IVF for giving me false hope and taking that time away at such a precious phase of my son's life.

Chin up honey. Nobody can tell you when your IVF journey is done - only you can decide. If your consultant thinks there is hope, then there is hope. Stay strong, your son needs his mum and his cuddles can work wonders for you too. xxxx

 

[dovkav123]

Plex, . I hope your test is wrong, I got positive 14 dpo. You have one day or two, right?

MrsE75, sending you lots of baby dust to your cycle this month!

Bugs, good luck on your scan. Hope and pray all goes well. Thinking about you!