Support thread for ladies who have had 3+ failed IVF cycles

[MrsE75]

Morning ladies

My friend lives in Australia and surrogacy is complicated and long as not enough people willing to do it. so only 2 countries they will let you do overseas surrogacy and allow residency is USA or India, they couldn't afford US so went to India. Which means the egg donor was Indian and the surrogate was too, my friend is pale skinned and blonde hair so they can't try to match her tone but she wants to be a mum and have her own family at whatever cost. There has been substantial costs! So I'm waiting to be sent pics, saw the pics from just after they were born but not with my friend and her OH. I've been out buying two little outfits for her and a few bits to send for them all. I'm so happy for them cos they truly deserve it after their journey. I'm determined I will be successful too perhaps not with my genetic children but I know I would be a great mum.

So the next of us cycling is Unlucky is that correct? Obviously unless one of us falls naturally before then!! Xx

 

[Jamie_lee_c_]

Hi ladies, I just wanted to tell you all while you are here that the thread has been moved!
It is now in pregnancy groups and forum.
I have private messages bugs as I was unaware I had upset/annoyed her.
Long story short I am sorry for any upset it might of caused and wish all you ladies all the luck in the world, I did not mean any offence in my thread and have certainly not "forgotten" any one who helped me on my journey.
Jamie lee xx

 

[Unlucky41]

Hi Unlucky!

Just thinking - can I call you something else to perhaps bring you a bit more luck? Would like to push positive karma towards you
Anyway, all fingers and toes crossed for your new cycle - that you won't have to move onto DE!

Yesterday I did a bit of googling (well, Hungary-specific) and I was thinking - depending on where you live - perhaps you wouldn't have to go as far as Asia? I am sure that when looking at donors, you can narrow in on what is ethnically closer to you (including blood groups etc.) and I am sure that there are Asian donors in countries outside of Asia? Or is Asia close to you (not sure whether you mean Asian living elsewhere or Asian living in Asia)? If Hungary were to be an option for you (I posted the link earlier to the clinic) perhaps you could enquire as to having an Asian donor? For example. The clinic seems to have a fantastic reputation in Europe...

hahah you can call me Jo. I live in Australia hence Asia is not too far I guess !! The hard thing is I can't read Chinese hence it is really hard googling. I am wondering if my RE can recommend somewhere you think that is a fair question? I just want to be ready for plan b as soon as possible.

bubumaci did you find anything ? I really do hope this cycle works but the more I think about it logically I know my answer - 16% my RE gave me hence I know I need a plan b!

 

[Unlucky41]

Morning ladies

My friend lives in Australia and surrogacy is complicated and long as not enough people willing to do it. so only 2 countries they will let you do overseas surrogacy and allow residency is USA or India, they couldn't afford US so went to India. Which means the egg donor was Indian and the surrogate was too, my friend is pale skinned and blonde hair so they can't try to match her tone but she wants to be a mum and have her own family at whatever cost. There has been substantial costs! So I'm waiting to be sent pics, saw the pics from just after they were born but not with my friend and her OH. I've been out buying two little outfits for her and a few bits to send for them all. I'm so happy for them cos they truly deserve it after their journey. I'm determined I will be successful too perhaps not with my genetic children but I know I would be a great mum.

So the next of us cycling is Unlucky is that correct? Obviously unless one of us falls naturally before then!! Xx

MrsE75, you know what I am venting here but with my endo my RE has suppress me such that we cant even try in between cycles. So sad !!! Yes it is so sad that Australia doesn't let woman get paid for their eggs!!! There is virtually no supply and I can't blame them who wants to get poked and violated for nothing except being happy that they had helped a complete stranger !!

 

[bubumaci]

hahah you can call me Jo. I live in Australia hence Asia is not too far I guess !! The hard thing is I can't read Chinese hence it is really hard googling. I am wondering if my RE can recommend somewhere you think that is a fair question? I just want to be ready for plan b as soon as possible.

bubumaci did you find anything ? I really do hope this cycle works but the more I think about it logically I know my answer - 16% my RE gave me hence I know I need a plan b!

Where in Oz are you from Jo? I am a huge Australia fan (spent almost a year over there after Uni and fell in love with it - lived in Perth) - 2006 I came over for three weeks and stayed with my friend (who I made back in 1998) in Perth. 2007 travelled with a friend from Cairns to Brisbane and 2008 backpacked alone from Brisbane to Melbourne Completely love it. Took DH there a year after our wedding for our Honeymoon (spent a few days in Singapore first and then Sydney) - he is now also a fan
What about Singapore, Hong Kong etc.? Would that be of interest? I would imagine, since Singapore isn't that far, that you ought to find something in English? Or how bout NZ? What are your options there?

Yes, I had posted this link : https://ivfpregnancycenter.com/ which seems to be a very good clinic in Hungary.

Certainly I would ask at your clinic whether they have any suggestions - if it is not really a viable option in OZ, they might have some ideas for plan B. And why not ask, if they are not going to treat you any further? I hope they can help - but even more, that you won't need to go down the route of plan B!

 

[africaqueen]

For the ladies that are wishing for a natural miracle- my mum was told she would NEVER have children due to 'completely' blocked tubes and my mum and dad ttc for 10yrs and then had me, so miracles can happen if you have the necessary 'equipment' so i pray it does happen for you ladies too x

Hope everyone is ok. I am feeling more positive today after being so down the past week or so. I can see light at the end of the tunnel again which feels good xxx

 

[Unlucky41]

hahah you can call me Jo. I live in Australia hence Asia is not too far I guess !! The hard thing is I can't read Chinese hence it is really hard googling. I am wondering if my RE can recommend somewhere you think that is a fair question? I just want to be ready for plan b as soon as possible.

bubumaci did you find anything ? I really do hope this cycle works but the more I think about it logically I know my answer - 16% my RE gave me hence I know I need a plan b!

Where in Oz are you from Jo? I am a huge Australia fan (spent almost a year over there after Uni and fell in love with it - lived in Perth) - 2006 I came over for three weeks and stayed with my friend (who I made back in 1998) in Perth. 2007 travelled with a friend from Cairns to Brisbane and 2008 backpacked alone from Brisbane to Melbourne Completely love it. Took DH there a year after our wedding for our Honeymoon (spent a few days in Singapore first and then Sydney) - he is now also a fan
What about Singapore, Hong Kong etc.? Would that be of interest? I would imagine, since Singapore isn't that far, that you ought to find something in English? Or how bout NZ? What are your options there?

Yes, I had posted this link : https://ivfpregnancycenter.com/ which seems to be a very good clinic in Hungary.

Certainly I would ask at your clinic whether they have any suggestions - if it is not really a viable option in OZ, they might have some ideas for plan B. And why not ask, if they are not going to treat you any further? I hope they can help - but even more, that you won't need to go down the route of plan B!

haha I think you have see more of Australia than me. We are in Sydney hence Singapore and HK is an option. My husband just told me today on father's day that he was not 100% sold on donor eggs and rather try further. I told him the doctors won't let us !!! Part of me agree with him but part of me just want to be a mum. He is so scare the baby will look really funny. I really hope we don't have to take this route but I definitely need a back up plan!!!

bubumaci when will your appointment be ? Are you taking a break at the moment?

Africanqueen thanks for that story my mum also had problems having kids 3 miscarriage before having me. I keep blaming her for the bad genes I am so naughty

 

[africaqueen]

Unlucky- Our consultant did say that a lot of these issues are genetic, and as my mum had tubal issues and premature menopause and i had tubal issues and DOR i tend to agree with him. Just nature being a bit cruel but we will get there xxx

 

[MrsE75]

Hi ladies

Just got a message today that my friend is 2mths pregnant with her 2nd whilst we've been trying for our first! I'm happy for her but I said to OH that feels like stab in my heart and he got angry with me saying its nothing to do with us! So we had big arguement -men!

X

 

[bugs]

I totally understand, a girl I work with is pregnant with her 4th in the time we've been trying for #1. It hurts like hell but at the same time she didn't know how to tell me she felt so guilty poor cow it's not her fault she's so bloody fertile but it doesn't get any easier.
She'll have 4 kids under 5 not my idea of fun I have to say xxx

 

[dovkav123]

Hello ladies,
May I ask you a question?
I got BFN this morning. I am 12dpo. I am on progesterone and my temps. are crushing down for two days now.
Should this hormone keep my temps up??
When should I quit this hormone?
What is your experience?


Thank you!

 

[bubumaci]

MrsE - totally get you. We work so hard towards trying to achieve our dreams, invest so much energy, hope, money, time ... go through so much and still come out empty handed and there are so many women out there, who get pregnant so effortlessly - of course it's not their fault that it is easy for them and it is not their fault that it is so hard for us - the stab of pain we feel, the resentment - none of it is logical, emotions aren't

Hi Dovkav - from your signature I understand that you went with IUI because the natural IVF cycle treatment failed and that therefore you are on progesterone? I have no experience with IUI and what the protocol is - for all my IVFs, I have had beta blood tests on 6dp5dt (so 11 dpo) and 9dp5dt (so 14 dpo). It is not unlikely that even if your treatment has been a success, that you would not see anything on a urine test at 12 dpo (since fertilisation would have to happen naturally, the implantation time line can be anything between 6-12 dpo). If I were you, I would ask the clinic what they think, but would continue taking the medication until either your beta has been drawn and been negative, or a few more days after a BFN on the urine test.

Normally, progesterone does keep the temps up, yes.

Good luck!!

 

[Unlucky41]

Unlucky- Our consultant did say that a lot of these issues are genetic, and as my mum had tubal issues and premature menopause and i had tubal issues and DOR i tend to agree with him. Just nature being a bit cruel but we will get there xxx

Yep I sure know the feeling - yes I really really do hope we get there one day.

Any update when you will be cycling next?

 

[bubumaci]

What would I give for my DH to have a freak few months when he does actually produce sperm (a lot) that is motile (very) I mean, we enjoy practicing, even if we know that his condition is the most foolproof contraception going ... I wouldn't mind, if it stopped working and we got pregnant *hehe* (wouldn't that be a huge surprise)

 

[MrsE75]

Just a quick update as I'm in work. The witch turned up today so guess we have to keep trying au natural until we can afford another cycle! Feeling really down today.

I also want to lose some weight but at the moment I just can't seems to get my head in the game. Last time out of pure willpower I lost nearly 2 stone in under 2 months! That was cutting out all carbs for 6 days a week plus exercising either in the gym or walking everyday.

I just can't seem to get into it but I need to! X

 

[africaqueen]

MrsE- Bloody men! i break my heart crying each time one of our friends announces they are pregnant and dh goes mad saying i can't be happy for anyone and what business is it of mine!!?! insensitive A-Holes! lol x

Bugs- Yeah i don't envy someone with 4 kids under 5 as much as i want one! lol. I could never cope with that many young kids. I would be more than happy with one or god willing 2 if we had twins x

Dov- Sorry about your BFN x

Jo- we won't be cycling again until this time next year as need to start saving up after Christmas and we don't earn much so will take ages but we will get there x

Hi Andrea, Cvaeh and all the gang xxx

 

[Unlucky41]

africanqueen - I do hope you get lucky and have a natural pregnancy!!!


MrsE75 - my RE believe that losing weight helped. Although it didn't help me it does help the majority of ladies out there. Hoping that my cycle coming up really gives me dividends from the laparoscopy and weight loss!!! Losing weight is so hard but they do say losing weight slowly is better than fast it is then a life time change!

 

[bubumaci]

... when it rains it pours! Over the past couple of months, I have had three "attacks" in the night, where I have been in pain for several hours. After thinking about it, I remembered that Mama, Jajó (her Mother) and my cousin on the maternal side all had had (with the exception of my Grandma) their gallbladders out around my age. So - after DH begged me to make a doctor's appointment after the last attack (which was Saturday - Sunday night - the one before had been before my third blood test, where I was up for about 4,5 hours in pain) - which I did yesterday and I went in for the ultrasound this morning. The verdict : my gallbladder is nicely full of gallstones and I will have to have it out ... appointment with the specialist in the hospital on Thursday morning. Didn't want to have the OP before this weekend, as we are flying to Budapest Friday - Sunday to be with my Grandma for her 101st birthday on Sunday.

... wanna know what my first thought was? That is why I wasn't allowed to stay pregnant ... Mama and Granny (Mama died May 31st this year, Granny died May 10th this year) wanted me to have my gallbladder out beforehand ... but wanted to show me that we can get pregnant... guess they knew what they were doing after all!

 

[africaqueen]

Unlucky- Thanks but absolutely no chance of me getting pregnant without IVF as i have no fallopian tubes x

Andrea- Ah im sorry to hear you are having a rough time again some people sail through this life and some struggle and sadly we are the latter but hope things pick up soon! don't worry about the surgery for gall bladder removal as my dad had this done last year and was fine and out of the hospital the same day and back on his feet properly within 5 days x

Hi to all the gang x

 

[bubumaci]

I must have to admit, that I have to see it with humour! I would so love to have an ultrasound picture of a nice growing bean - I joked at the doctor's office. When I was 21, I had an ultrasound picture of my breast tumour before having it removed... now at 38, I get a picture to take home of my gallbladder full of gallstones *hehe* ...
But I will have that ultrasound picture of my peanut ... I will!

:wave: