Support thread for ladies who have had 3+ failed IVF cycles

[bugs]

Cvaeh, it's lovely to see you. I wondered how you got on. So sorry it didn't work. Where abouts are you looking at abroad PM me if you wish xxxx

 

[africaqueen]

Heather- lovely to see you back with us! was thinking of you yesterday funnily enough and was going to msg you on Fb! glad you are ok and raring to go again! wishing you the best of luck and please keep us updated. I start cycling around the 10th of Sep so we will be going through the madness an mayhem together. This is our last cycle with my own eggs, so praying it works but if its not meant to be, we will be saving for 2yrs and then doing a DE cycle abroad too. Most likely in Spain xxx

Ash- Nice to see you back i don't know much about FET seeing as we have never been lucky enough to get any frosties, so what happens now? when is the thaw? x

MrsE- Thinking of you lots. I hope you find the strength to get through this and look forward. I know its soul destroying, but weird how we find the courage to go on... x

Hi to all the girls x

AFM- I was very poorly in work today and was physically sick 3 times due to severe Endo pain. I am now lying in bed dosed up on painkillers and trying to gain strength for my early shift tomorrow please god let this next cycle work. I am desperate for our baby and the added bonus of no AF for 9mths will go down a treat! lol xxx

 

[ashknowsbest]

I stopped my BCPs and starting on estrace which is meant to thicken my lining to prepare it for the transfer. The embryos are supposed to thaw on the 23rd of 24th of august at that time they will be transferred and hopefully stick this time! lol

 

[Plex]

AQ - hope your feeling better today hun - did u make it into work in the end? Exciting that you only have 5 days to go till ur consultation! xx

Cvaeh - Where will you be going for your next cycle if you dont mind me asking? xx

Ash - Good luck for your FET hun Do you get many side effects from the estrace? xx

Captain - I never really replied to your lovely post to me Sorry its taken me so long but your words really hit home and sounded like i could have written them myself. Although im excited to do another cycle ill be glad to have finished with it all - no more drugs, not more painful injections, no more mood swings or side effects, no more sneaking off to inject myself at work, no more sick time off work or having to explain myself away. It all sounds very appealing actually lolol.

We've decided on one more go - its all we can afford, then thats it. End of the line. I feel like ive wasted the past 2 and a half years of my/our/my sons life and that hurts like hell. I feel so damned guilty. Why does conceiving a child have to be the hardest bloody thing????? It makes me mad that the people who dont deserve their children more often than no have NO trouble at all getting up the duff!

Sorry end of rant xx

AFM - I had my WTF (sooo LOVE that expression!!) yesterday and im not entirely sure how i feel i guess i feel a mixture of happiness, anger and depression - if thats possible?

Our consultant is truely lovely i didnt have to ask anything off my list (and it was extensive let me tell you !) She explained everything, even as far as telling me that our case of non fertilization was an isolated case - therefore there may be a chromosonal problem - hubby is now to be tested as well as seeing if hes a cystic fybrosis carrier. I had my tests for that last year so am glad he'll have these tests too. Only problem is that it takes up to 10weeks for those results to come back

We will be cycling october november now due to waiting for test results. We will be doing ICSI this time too. Not much else to report apart from the waiting will probably drive me loopy!

Hope you are all well? xxx

 

[ashknowsbest]

Plex - if I don't eat anything with the estrace I get an upset stomach and I'm a tad bit emotional but I haven't noticed any other side effects. Woohoo!

So sorry your last cycle didn't work out It's always nice to have a plan and I wish you the best of luck for your final try! I feel your pain. After this FET I'm not really sure if I want to go through with another cycle.

 

[Plex]

It all gets a bit too much - extremely draining in lots of different ways!

Will you be having both your put back? I hope this is the last cycle for you and you get ur bfp

Its good you dont get much in the way of side effects too - bet you always eat with the medication now though? Do you have to take any other meds aswell? xx

 

[Peachy1584]

AQ I am doing ok. I hope you're feeling better. I also have those painful periods due to endo and I can't stand up or even breathe it seems like. Are you getting excited again about your cycle? Are they doing anything differently or does all that come with consult?

Ash I think it's a great sign that they were strong enough to make it to freeze! So many women I know have had better luck with fet than fresh.

Plex I know the 10 weeks seems like a long time but it will really go fast and you can enjoy the rest of summer with your little one. Will they change anything besides icsi for next cycle?

 

[faithful96]

Hello Ladies,

MrsE - I am so so sorry. I have endured so many cycles with eggs that went nowhere. I know how painful it is and I wish there was some way to comfort you (us, everyone who suffers this). I hope you will take some time to be sad and angry and to grieve and to indulge yourself and hopefully treat yourself with grace.

AfricaQueen - Silly question, did you used to be on the Fertility Forum, I feel like your name looks familiar?

 

[ashknowsbest]

Plex - definitely draining, in every way I can think of! I'm just hoping this one works so that I can be done with all of this and have my family! And yes I eat with my medication everytime :happyface: I'm also taking folic acid, and vit D. Nothing else though, it's much easier than a fresh cycle!

peachy - thanks girl! I've heard that a ton of people have better luck with FET I'm just hoping I'm one of them! I'm super worried about the thaw but .... I'm trying to remain positive

 

[LadyLovenox]

This is my first time ever posting on a forum, after reading them for years. My husband and I both just turned 30. Unexplained If for years until they've finally labeled me as DOR. We have failed three fresh cycles, all in the last 9 months. I'm emotionally and physically exhausted and just... Beat down.

Ivf #1: antagonist protocol.... Very low stims 8 eggs, 5 mature, 3 embies, 2 transferred on day 3 bfn
Ivf #2: stop Lupron protocol... Somewhat higher stims but still not as high as I would have liked... 14 eggs
4 mature
3 fertilized
2 transferred day 3 bfn

Ivf #3 microdose lupron flare protocol.. Finally high dose drugs menopur 225 follistim 175
17 eggs
11 mature
11 fertilized
2 perfect blasts transferred day 5 bfn
1 frostie (my clinic only freezes the perfect ones)

FET expanded grade AA blast, waiting for beta but bfn on hpt 7dp5dt, so I'm out.
Haven't even told dh about the bfn. He hates when I do them early.

So so so frustrated. I don't understand why "perfect blasts" won't stick. I'm not opposed to DE, but how would that be better if mine are "perfect". I've had 4 endometrial biopsies done and and they all show inflammation, so they're thinking maybe immune issue but all bloods come back normal. They put me on immunosuppresants the last two transfers just in case, but they don't seem to make a difference. I'm on lovenox for mthfr, but only because I've pushed for it, as my re brushes mthfr off like no big deal. Any advice or help??

 

[Plex]

Peachy - Not really, ill be on menopur with cetrotide, short protocol. Daily aspirin, then lubion, utrogestan, augmentin, prednisolone and clexine - 40mg istead of 20mg. Im still doing acupuncture and im going to try to loose some weight, if i can! We are going to have a nice time not doing anything ttc related although we have talked about ttc naturally in the 2months we have to wait its like we cant switch off from it all!

I love ur profile picture when will you have ur next scan? xx

Ash - I agree with peachy embryos are generally of top quality when frozen so ur chances are good Sounds like a nice cycle, if any cycle can be nice that is . I was worried about the thaw of my one lil but they freeze them differently now so thawing rates are much much higher - doesnt stop the worry though xx

Lady - ur doc sounds so frustrating! Have u thought about moving clinics? I dont know much about mthfr but surely if there is a chance of it hindering you getting pregnant then you should be on medication? Surely your doctor should have at least looked into it? Sorry u are in this situation

I agree with you about the DE issue, if you are putting back perfect blasts then surely the egg quality is not the issue there? When is your beta hun? Im praying for a different result for you xx

AFM -Nothing going on with me! Im about to nip into town to get some supplements for hubby and me. Im in desperate need of some coq-10 and i have a list of supplements from the doc for hubby, i have most of them now but need a specific few more.

I have acupuncture later and plan on doing some form of exercise before lunch but i cant really see that happening lol Im off to work tonight after a month off, was hoping to be going back pregnant but hey ho what can you do about it right? So ill skulk off to work tonight lol

Any of you ever taken those fat binding tablets that make u poo through the eye of a needle??? Well im gunna get some of those aswell to try them hopefully they dont upset my stomach as much as ive heard they do!

Anyway im rambling now Hope u are all ok xx

 

[bugs]

Hi ladies hope everyone is well.

Ladylovenox welcome and I'm sorry that your first post is to join this thread.
I just felt I had to chime in with regards to donor eggs, The way I see it just because an embryo makes it to blast does not guarantee it is perfect. No embryologist or machine can predict whether a blast will make a baby or we would all be pregnant in no time. I used to produce eggs that looked ok and we never got to blast due to numbers we always had embryos' of 8 cells on day 3 so exactly where they should have been with little fragmentation and they never took.
This cycle we used a 24 year old donor who helped us produce 6 blasts. The 3 put back were perfect so you would think multiples but only one took, Why who knows but I can only guess that of the 3 only one was viable.

So after my very long analysis what i'm saying is don't think that because your own blasts didn't take donor eggs won't as that is not the case. My clinic in Athens puts 3 back as they know the chances of all 3 taking are very slim and it is impossible to know which ones will take. It took me 8 cycles with my own eggs to come to the conclusion that it wasn't working and we needed a big change.

I hope it is just a bit early for you to have tested and that your journey here will be short lived but if not I hope we can support you the best we can xxxx

 

[LadyLovenox]

Plex.... Thank you so much for the encouraging words. I am currently going to shady grove which is supposed to be the best in our area. Dh tells me all the time that we should be going to Hershey med center, just bc he is sick of this place and all of its disappointments. I would like to try a new place, but cringe at "starting over" if you know what I mean. My beta is tues the 12th, because shady grove does theirs soo late. 13dp5dt. Ever since my test at 7dp5dt, though, I figured im out. I have browsed enough forums where everyone gets their Bfp by 5 or 6dp5dt.

As far as my perfect blasts, they always tell me "just bc they look perfect doesn't mean they're chromosomally normal." which I get, but pgd testing costs an additional 5 grand and we just don't have it, as we are all out of pocket. I definitely want to do the microdose flare protocol again next time since my results were so much better, and just hope for stickier beans. I'm so sick of everyone around me getting pregnant, and I'm so sick of people's sympathy. I know they mean the best, but I feel like they're looking at me like the most pathetic, pitiful thing in the world. I'll take anyone's support, but don't feel sorry for me, ya know?

I'm jealous of your acupuncture!!! I did that for awhile, and I loved it but at 100 bucks a session, it's just too much. i hear ya about wanting to go back to work pregnant. I'm a teacher, so I really thought maybe these two cycles I did over the summer would be the ticket. Sigh. More hoop jumping ahead!! Hope you have a great day!

 

[LadyLovenox]

Thank you so much, bugs!!! Thats basically what the doctor told us too, but I'm not willing to give up on my eggs just yet. My first two cycles w low dose stims were a bust from the start, in my opinion, so I'm really hoping that w more high dose cycles, we will stumble upon a lucky one. I am def putting in three blasts next cycle if we have them. If we have to go the donor egg route, I'm thinking we will use donor embryos. If it can't be my Dna, I don't want it to be either of ours. I know that sounds selfish, but I just don't know how I'd handle it. If you don't mind me asking, did you have these same concerns before using DE, and how do you feel now?

 

[Plex]

Lady - OUCH to the extra 5 grand!! I had no idea pgd was that expensive! Im now waiting on hubbies karotyping and cf results so if any positive results then that is an area we will have to consider/go down.

I have read up on about lots of people getting positives 6dp5dt too - i was reading them all in my tww aswell - why do we torture ourselves???

Why cant the treatment process be more clear cut? I mean a lovely looking embryo/blast should be just that, we shouldnt need to look deeper to see if its chromosonally normal, it just should be infertility sucks

I agree with what bugs says, at the time of writing i never thought of the fact that the problem could be chromosonal and therefore 'unseen'. xx

 

[LadyLovenox]

Yes.... All the expenses add up soo much!!! We have both had karyotype testing and genetic testing.... The works.... Which showed nothing but I guess crappy eggs are just chromosomally messed up on their own?

There are several doctors at my office and the two main ones I see don't really agree on our problem. One doctor days I def have Dor, but the other doctor says with my afc, she doesn't think it's Dor. (my afc gas ranged from 11-22 throughout a million different monitoring appointments)

 

[bugs]

I think you have to come to the decision of donor eggs in your own time. I hope I don't come across as telling people to give up on themselves as it's not something to decide on lightly. As I said before we'd had 8 cycles, we were coming to the end of the road fianancially and emotionally. We'd spent a lot on immune testing and it wasn't worth us doing PGD as we only ever had 1-2 embryos left so we'd just put them back and hope for the best.

After my 8th cycle failed our consultant recommended donor eggs, she felt that we would have a better chance of success and we agreed we'd given my eggs enough cycles to know it wasn't going to happen so it really wasn't a difficult decision to make and I actually had my donor transfer just 2 months after my failed cycle. My partner has kids already so it was important to me that he would have a genetic bond that he has with his other kids and I get to carry our baby so that is enough for me. I was concerned that I might feel different but every scan is so special and now I'm feeling the baby move it really doesn't cross my mind that we used donor eggs but again I total understand that it's not for everyone but it certainly was the answer for us xxxx

 

[Peachy1584]

Plex are the fat binding pills to lose weight or to help you go to the bathroom?

Lady I am so sorry you feel this cycle hasn't worked but I'm glad you're a fighter and aren't giving up!

Bugs and Lady with my last Mc at almost 9 weeks was a frozen transfer with a 6 A A hatching blast. That's the best grade they can get and baby had trisomy 13. I no longer believe in or worry about grades. Abnormal embies can look perfect and the perplexing thing about my case is that I was told as mine was not genetic it's something that happens at fertilization that it isn't even a trisomy that pgd looks for. So if we had paid all that money and had ours tested it still would have ended the same way. I have always looked at is as a numbers game. Eventually you'll get a good one and not everyone is fortunate enough to get it on the first try so it's about how much you can deal with emotionally, physically and mentally as well as financially. I have an adopted sister and love her as such so I have never cared about the whole biological deal so I would use donor eggs if I had to. It's only my husband that wants that so he'd get it regardless.

 

[Plex]

Peachy - lolol for fat burning purposes only! If it could be done without the side effects then that would be better I did have a look at them but read that people with a thyroid disorder should not take them, well thats me out as far as theyre concerned. So its loosing weight the old fashioned way for me. xx

 

[africaqueen]

Plex- Yeah made it to work. Had no choice financially sadly feeling a lot better today just tired. Good luck for your next cycle hun. Hope u manage to give your LO a lil bro or sis x

Ash- Ah so not long for you now then! hope the thaw goes perfectly and the you get your sticky embie from this cycle x

Peachy- Sorry you suffer too! yep same for me. I get on all fours and actually wail with the pain! you would swear i was in labour Glad you are ok. As regards what we will be doing for next cycle, we wont know until after Tuesdays appt but i want mild IVF this time around so along those lines x

Faithful- No, i have been posting here since 2009 x

LadyLove- Welcome and i am sorry for your failed cycles. It sucks. Sometimes life is random and its a numbers game, but obviously a very costly one. As regards DE, if it comes to that(and you are a long way off that yet i think) then im sure u would want your DH to be the babies bio daddy. You would be carrying, nuturing an giving birth to the baby so there is your bond right there. Hubby needs a connection too x

Hi to all the gang x

AFM- Been a sad day today as 3yr anniversary of my mum passing. Had my bloods done this morning(virals, rubella immunity and 3 day FSH) at my GP's and hubby gets done on Monday. This is saving us nearly £500 (IVF clinic prices) so very lucky our GP is covering it for us! Right im off to bed. On yet another early shift tomorrow an Sunday! Boooooo xxx