Support thread for ladies who have had 3+ failed IVF cycles

[bubumaci]

Sarah - I know how hard that has been for you!
It is really good that the GP is helping out with the tests though! Always so good to find financial relief in this horrendous process!!

 

[LadyLovenox]

Hey ladies! Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was out of town for a wedding with no service. I love the idea that my connection to a donor egg would be from carrying, nurturing, birthing the baby. I guess i overlook some of those beautiful things and just felt like it would be my husband's baby and not mine. Definitely not true.

I have my beta tomorrow for fet and just wish I could skip it. I know it didn't work, and have known it for almost a week. Can we NOT throw salt in that wound w a call from a nurse saying "oh I'm sorry, I really thought this would be it" Ugh.

I am handling this failure sooooo much better than my 3 fresh cycles, though... And I really attribute that to the small dose of antidepressants I have been on. (safe in early pregnancy). I wish I would have gotten on them so much sooner. No shame!

 

[Sandy83]

Welcome Lady, Sorry to hear about your cycle at least after tomorrow you can truly mourn this cycle and look to moving forward. I do believe the more cycles I have done the better i have coped when it has been a BFN. Thinking of you tomorrow xx

 

[bubumaci]

I agree with Sandy - somehow, the more the were, the easier they were to deal with - isn't that crazy? Apart from the two chemicals ... they were pretty nasty.
I remember your test, Lady - was it at 11 / 12 dpo? Depending on what type of test you did, it may just have been too early to see anything in the urine and a blood test might have given you a different result. Or have you tested since?

Hugs to all Ladies here

 

[LadyLovenox]

Thanks Sandy and bubumaci! I'm hoping everyone on this forum is past their bfn days and have sunnier days ahead. No one deserves all we have been thru!

You are right bubumaci.... I texted at 12dpo....7dp5dt.... Ugly old bfn with fmu on frer. The kiss of death. Lol I didn't test again bc I feel like it is torturing myself. I just have my list of questions and dates ready to go for when my nurse calls with results tomorrow.

 

[bubumaci]

My fingers are still crossed for you

 

[LadyLovenox]

Thanks!!! ) I would absolutely looove a Bfp, but we have become fairly familiar with the short end of the stick. Lol I'll keep you updated.

 

[Unlucky41]

Hi Lady any news? hoping you get some good news.

AQ Sorry that you are feeling a little depress esp in relation to your mum Hoping this cycle is the one for you. It is nice that they are some kind hearted GPs out there. How are you feeling now better?

Ash how is your FET cycle going?

how is everyone else doing?

AFM - Just counting down the days 19 days to go - wishing everyone who haven't received their BFP a big fat BFP real soon!!!

 

[LadyLovenox]

I wish I had good news to share with you all, but unfortunately... The bfn.... Once again. My gosh I wish I knew how hard it actually is to get pregnant when I was preventing back in college and early twenties!! We will cycle again in October. A little break for starting my school year (I'm a teacher ) how is everyone else??

 

[Sandy83]

sorry to hear that Lady, sounds like you have a plan in place and thinking of you and DH xx

 

[Peachy1584]

Lady I am so sorry. I know you knew but having it be made official is painful. Did they give you any insight? I am crazy glad you're able to cycle again and so soon! We opted to go with a warranty program when we started again and could cycle when we wanted and boy do I know how lucky we were to be able to do so. It's all so expensive

 

[africaqueen]

Unlucky- I am feeling a fair bit better thanks. Just feel so alone sometimes without my mum here even tho im lucky to have such a great dad, coming up to treatment all i want is my mum Can't believe you are due soon! where did the time go?! x

Lady- I am so sorry. I know you were expecting it but i think we all still have the glimmer of hope until we are told for certain so huge hugs. Words fail me. Life is so unfair! i hope Octobers cycle see's you get your bfp! x

Hi to all the gang! x

AFM- We went for our consult appt today and it went exactly as predicted. Our consultant wanted me on max dose of stimms again, which i refused so we are going on 4 amps instead of 8 like previous cycle. We are doing a cetrotide cycle again and my drugs should be here in the next 2wks with the cycle starting on Sep's AF which should be around the 9th Sep so all systems go now! Our consultant did once again say that the only thing that will improve our chances is donor eggs, and i am aware of that BUT i want to give this cycle one last shot with my own eggs. We know what our plan B is but for now we have a chance an that is good enough for me. Only takes one special embie to make it and i am determined to be positive! xxx

 

[bubumaci]

Lady, I am so sorry that it turned out to be a BFN Hearing it always stole a piece of my soul. From experience I can say, that taking a little break is not only good for your body, but also for your soul (and in the first year, I never wanted to take breaks - the first 5 months we were active each month : 2012 - June ICSI with fresh transfer, July FET, August FET, September ICSI with fresh transfer, October FET ... after that, the tries were more spaced out).
October is not that far away

Sarah - glad that you have had your consultation. It is surprising that he didn't suggest changing the protocol himself. It is good that you are wanting to go for quality not quantity. After a few tries, it makes sense to try something else. And maybe you can try the IVF Companion - really helped me get into a better frame of mind for the whole treatment

 

[africaqueen]

Andrea- Thank you. The clinic we use are not very dynamic and if i did not have a egg quality and reserve issue, we would if changed clinics but due to these factors, we have a slim chance anywhere we go and its down to luck now tbh. Hope to god this brings us our miracle. Feeling very excited but did also feel sad sat in the cons office yesterday as we first sat there, so full of hope in 2011 and now it holds some sad moments of past fails. Hope this journey takes a happy turn this time. Would love to be pregnant for Christmas and enter 2015 full of happiness and hope xxx

 

[LadyLovenox]

Thank you all so so much for all the beautiful words of encouragement and understanding. No one "gets it" like you all. It is very hard. I was put on a prayer chain at a friends church and after my name was mentioned, the next prayer request was for a baby born with a heroin addiction. Things like this never cease to destroy me. Some things are just not right.

Africa queen: just out of curiosity, what makes you want lower med doses and not what the max dose? I'm always begging for higher doses, so I'm just curious. I hope and pray you get your Bfp!!!! You are right, so much of it is down to luck. What all protocols have you tried? I went on Dhea for three months before my last cycle and had major improvements. Microdose flare protocol worked best for me. I believe that's what we will try again and if that doesn't work, estrogen priming protocol. So much guess and check.

 

[Peachy1584]

AQ so glad consult is out of the way and you'll be starting soon. I am so nervous and excited for you! I know with my second fresh cycle I felt like I stimmed too fast and it was my worst one. On my 3rd fresh I had higher doses the first 2 days (he said this would get them moving) then lowered my dose and I stimmed for an extra day and I did end up with better quality. It's such a learning process when you don't fall into the majority that need the same dose for the same amount of days for a clinics regular protocol. I did switch clinics and almost felt bad for them because it was always like ok why do you do it this way when they do it that way? Hard to have blind faith. It is just about getting the right embie and I wish money weren't an issue. My husband never wants to talk about the actual number we have spent : )

 

[africaqueen]

Lady- I had 6 amps on our 2nd cycle and although we got 5 eggs, we only ended up with one embie and was graded low 3rd cycle we went for 8 amps and got 7 eggs and again one embie. My issue is obviously having no tubes, but also premature ovarian failure and poor egg quality to boot, so i have now come to the conclusion that max stimms are frying my already struggling eggs. I am hoping that having half the dose of stimms gives us 2 good eggs compared to 7 low quality
Fingers crossed i am right! x

Peachy- Yeah glad to have the consult appt out the way and all systems go now! just cannot wait to get my next AF(something we NEVER say unless waiting to start IVF! lol) and get the ball rolling. How are you doing? x

Just wanted to say to all the ladies who are now pregnant- after 3 fails, did u feel it was a virtual impossibility to get preg? and do you think its just a numbers game and pot luck for getting the 'good egg'? I am trying to make myself believe this cycle will give us our miracle but its soooo hard to stay that 100% positive isnt it? xxx

 

[ashknowsbest]

AQ - I'm gonna sound a tad bit negative for a minute. I've had 3 fails and I am starting to feel like it's virtually impossible however, that being said I think it's important to try even if you don't feel it will work. That might sound weird but that's exactly how I feel. I don't think it's going to work but I do think it is a numbers game and I have to keep trying. If I just stopped trying even though I feel like it won't work, I would feel .... like I gave up and I don't want to feel like that. I want to do everything I can until I can't. Since we have these two frozen embryos we're going through with the FET but I'm not sure we're doing anything after.

That probably sounds crazy and confusing but that's how I see it.

 

[africaqueen]

Ash- It doesn't sound crazy at all. I know exactly what you mean! no matter how hard it is to believe a actual baby could result from all these invasive medical procedures , i still have the dream of being a mummy and know that for me IVF is the only possible way that can even have a chance of happening so like you said, i will still try with even a 1% chance as that 1% gives me hope i can otherwise never have so we will carry on until we are unable or until we get our miracle x

 

[Peachy1584]

AQ when I began ivf I honestly I would be pregnant on the 1st try. I have no fertility issues except for tubal reversal was unsuccessful. After my 1st BFN I thought for sure it was because transfer went bad and my fet would get me there and voila I was pregnant! To lose my baby to a trisomy was just utter devastation. I mean wtf? My second fresh my first 2 betas were good and then junk. Now after 3 fails I am finally pregnant, 10 weeks yesterday, and I still don't believe it will work. Why would I when it hasn't before? I gave blood yesterday for the harmony testing which tests for trisomy 21,18 and 13. That comes back in 2 weeks and I am petrified. I have the NT u/s next week and it makes me sick to my stomach. IF is so unfair. On the other side of the coin I do believe it is a numbers game and for whoever can keep going the more embies you get the better the chance of getting a good one. Unfortunately so many run out of time and money. On our warranty program I have one fresh cycle left and whatever frozen cycles are possible should this not end up being our miracle. I am excited for you because you get another chance and nervous because it is your last one. I wish you had more just in case but why not now? Why not you?