Support thread for ladies who have had 3+ failed IVF cycles

[africaqueen]

Ah Peachy i can fully understand where you are coming from. I can only imagine how nerve racking it is to finally get that long awaited viable pregnancy and then be terrified. I think after what we go thru to get pregnant, we wont be happy fully until our miracles are in our arms. I am sure you lil bean will be fine but i understand the fear. It will get better once 1st tri is out the way. You are right in what you say. Why not me and why not this time? same applies to you and your precious cargo xxx

 

[bubumaci]

Sarah - ... for me, it wasn't just 3 fails, it was 8 ... #9 brought us our BFP ... and our doctor had kept saying to us, that he firmly believed it would work, he just didn't know how long it would take. The first 5 tries were with a different doctor at the clinic and in November 2012 we switched. Right away, our tries were more promising with the new doctor, but we weren't quite there yet. Did scratch biopsies and various other things to try to optimise our chances ... February 2013 had OHSS, so for the July try he changed the protocol a bit - two beautiful blasts transferred and a Chemical. Before the transfer, after the transfer and late August I had colic attacks from my Gallbladder - that needed removing in September. Next try, November - again slightly modified protocol - again perfect blastocysts transferred - again Chemical. February this year, again slightly modified protocol - beautiful hatching blast transferred - BFP. Oh and from February last year, we had all fertilised eggs monitored in an Embryoscope, which also optimises the conditions (I think that also contributed to the better quality and development).
So I think it is a lot of different influences that contribute to how it all works or doesn't work. Just because they fertilise, doesn't mean that it will end up in pregnancy (I also thought it would work first try!!) - and there may be nothing wrong with us DNA-wise - and still, when sperm and egg fuse, there are chromosome anomalies... and that is just nature

I somehow always believed. But because we were entirely out of pocket for the whole treatment, I knew there had to be a limit. Beginning of the year I said - "I will be 40 next year, if it hasn't worked by the end of the year, we are stopping". Luckily, our first try this year was it

 

[africaqueen]

Gosh Andrea, you have really been thru it to get to your BFP! I can't imagine how you have coped with all those cycles. You are very strong. It is so mentally exhausting! i dont mind the physical aspect at all, but emotionally, i know i cant do this much more and also financially, so hope my gut instinct is right an this cycle will bring us our earth baby xxx

 

[Unlucky41]

AQ - We only got pregnant with the 5th IVF try and basically it was the last time the doctor wanted us to try with my eggs so YES I thought it would never happen !!! I feel so blessed that it has worked and we are not soooo close to being parents!

Out of our 5 IVF we only got 5 embryos and only the last two has been good quality!! I do thank God every time I remember for this gift of life.

Words can't express how relieved I am that this time has worked and I won't now how I would be if it didn't considering DH didn't want to use donor eggs!

Hope this is your miracle cycle as well AQ!!!

 

[Bumpsparkle]

Hi AQ,

Just wanted to pop in and wish you lots of baby dust for this cycle!
I was on your previous thread back in Jan 2013 and it's really great to see that you are able to have another cycle!

After 2 failed cycles we're looking at another fresh cycle in Oct and I'm really not sure where I'm going to find the emotional strength from. It is so hard to find that positivity that was there on cycle 1 but I know I have to find some as I just can't face giving up just yet.

I've got everything crossed for ya! x x

 

[ashknowsbest]

1 week and 1 day until I get my transfer! I'm getting excited now, but mostly to see our families and have the babies in my uterus where they should be instead of frozen in a lab. I've been taking a ton of estrace now and its been giving me a headache I'm pretty sure Ready for that to be over too, not looking forward to the PIO. I'll be starting that in the next 3-4 days.

 

[africaqueen]

Jo- That gives me so much hope! it brings to mind my beloved mum's phrase 'where there is life there is hope'! i am going to be as positive as possible and pray we get at least one embie for transfer an that its our sticky. Glad everything is going well for you. Where is your pregnancy ticker? x

Bumpsparkle- Lovely to hear from you! i am sorry you are also still going thru this nightmare but its amazing where we do find the strength for something we want so much. Never give up. Good luck for Oct! keep me updated x

Hi to all the gang x

 

[dovkav123]

AQ - I'm gonna sound a tad bit negative for a minute. I've had 3 fails and I am starting to feel like it's virtually impossible however, that being said I think it's important to try even if you don't feel it will work. That might sound weird but that's exactly how I feel. I don't think it's going to work but I do think it is a numbers game and I have to keep trying. If I just stopped trying even though I feel like it won't work, I would feel .... like I gave up and I don't want to feel like that. I want to do everything I can until I can't. Since we have these two frozen embryos we're going through with the FET but I'm not sure we're doing anything after.

That probably sounds crazy and confusing but that's how I see it.

I know what you are talking about. I was negative too after 6 failed IVFs. I didn't cry anymore I was numb and heartless. I was not nervous anymore, I was not excited anymore...It didn't work before, why will it work now... It was our last non stim IVF. I had already big plans to continue my journey in US and pay 4 times more than in Germany.
I'll be positive now. Maybe less stress was a bit good for me and for my success.
Everything is crossed for you!

 

[ashknowsbest]

dovkav - I'm glad I'm not alone! that's pretty much how I feel right now. I want to be excited, but I'm not really. I'm looking forward to getting it over with but not excited. When I went through my very first IVF I thought, "OMG it's going to work the first time, it just has to!" but the more they failed the less is bothers me. And even though that's kind of sad. I like it that way. It's not that I'm not upset it's just ... crying is not going to help. I like to remain calm now and have a plan. And yes probably not stressing is doing me some good! This cycle I have a glass or two of wine every other night .... I don't worry about the little stuff, I don't obsess about the numbers. I'm feeling ... relaxed surprisingly.

 

[LadyLovenox]

Oh, Ash..... I am totally right there with you. I feel the same way!!

Question for any of you ladies..... My re is pretty open to trying what I recommend. I have recently asked about a natural start for my 4th ivf..... No bcp to prime me. What are your thoughts on this?

 

[Unlucky41]

AQ really hope you get your sticky embry this cycle. To be honest once you get your good news the night mare of this journey seems behind you and you can breath again!

How are you feeling now AQ?

We are looking at a c section as the baby has not engaged and my ob knows how hard it was for us to get this baby hence she rather not take any chances and take it out before our due date.

 

[ashknowsbest]

Well I got the go ahead. They wanted transfer on the 22nd but thats not possible because my DH and I are flying out on the 22nd and won't be there until 6PM. But they moved transfer and it's on the 25th! I'm looking forward to the transfer but I'm also nervous as hell. I just want it to work already but it is a numbers game and nobody knows if it's going to work .... so the wait already begins it seems.

unlucky - when is your official due date? Are you excited? Nervous?

lady - i'm really not familiar with the science behind all of the cycles and I try not to google things so I don't have much advice for you but I hope some of the other ladies are able to help!

 

[bubumaci]

Lady : I never took BCPs, for any of the tries! (And we had several). I don't know if that is because my cycles were regular anyway ... or because my clinic is constantly available, every day, no day off - so there is no need to "control" the woman's cycle. If you need to be seen on the weekend / have ER or transfer on the weekend - then that is how it is.

Dovkav, for example, had only natural IVFs (without any stimming at all) - so it was always a game of chance, whether or not the eggie retrieved was a) there and b) mature enough - but she did all her cycles with only one egg and no meds ...

Jo, if I were you and it is possible, I would try to go without a c-section. It is major surgery and takes much longer to recover from ... so if there is no medical reason for you to have to have the c-section, it would be my tip to try and avoid it

 

[africaqueen]

Ash- Ooh not long now! how are the PIO shots going? we don't have them in my clinic luckily as iv heard they are not very nice! Good luck and enjoy the excitement. Its not often us IVF ladies get to feel the anxiety/hope of possibly being pregnant x

Jo- If you have a section you will be fine im sure. My mum had one with me, my friend Jane had 3 and my friend Jen had one 7wks ago. All went smoothly an they recovered pretty well. Quicker than some of my friends who had a 'natural delivery' esp when forceps were involved! go with what is best for baby and you x

Hi to all the gang x

AFM- I keep thinking about Christmas and stuff and getting really excited thinking i could be pregnant for Christmas and going into 2nd tri! in one way it seems a distant dream and in another i can fully picture it! omg you forget what a head f**k this journey is until you start again! Aaaaah xxx

 

[ashknowsbest]

AQ - I haven't started the PIO shots yet. They start on Wednesday. I'm not looking forward to them but it'll be fine. My DH and I have a routine ... he ices the area the whole time I'm drawing up the medication so by the time I'm ready to inject it I'm pretty numb

 

[africaqueen]

Good plan Ash and love the team work with you an dh! my dh cannot leave the room quick enough once i start prepping my needles! haha. He is VERY weak stomached xxx

 

[ashknowsbest]

especially the PIO it's huge! I pretty much told him that I did everything else, the least he could do was hold the ice pack

 

[Unlucky41]

Ash & AQ you are both very brave I can't stand injecting myself. DH has to do it and I make funny faces every time. Although most of the time it is not too bad they are some times when he hits a bad spot and I start yelling at him. He would then as me to do it myself and I would refuse and that was our daily routine!

Ash does it matter about the timing for the transfer? What did the Doctor say ?

AQ I think it is important to have the positive thinking especially when you are going through the cycle it helps you get by !

Ash I am due 31 August so not long now !!

Bub I agree I would love to have a natural birth got my TENS machine already however going from my sister's labour where they tried natural and later had an emergency c section I rather just have the planned c section if that is the case. The problem is the baby is not engaged and my fluid levels starting to drop hence there is a possibility that I need a c section. I hope it you have a text book labour!!!

AQ that is promising that so many of your friends had c sections and they were fine! DH is already preparing himself to do all the work in the first few weeks!!! Definitely keep you guys posted but I think she will be out sometime next week!!!

 

[bubumaci]

Jo!! ... that is just sooooo close!
Your doctor will do what is best for you and baby, I am sure! It is true, caesarian has become so routine, that for many, the recovery is good!

Last week at the baby-preparation-course, the midwife was telling the husbands / partners, that in the first couple of weeks, they should be doing the nappy changing (while the mothers do the feedings - assuming breastfeeding), because long time standing over the changing table isn't that great for the pelvic region and the mother needs to recover from the birth. DH looked at me horrified

 

[africaqueen]

Jo- Omg not long now! cannot believe how fast your pregnancy has gone!! also cannot believe iv been on these ttc boards on here for 5yrs next mth! wtf?! lol. My life is going too fast! x

Ash- Lol. You are right! haha. My dh made a face when the doc said he needs to repeat his SA on Tuesday as its been 2yrs since last one! i was like 'err all u need to do is watch porn an provide a 'sample' and i have to inject daily, have internal scans, ER and ET! haha. They do get it easy physically. Obviously mentally they have their own ups and downs x

Andrea- How are you doing? x

Clare- How are things?? x

MrsE- Thinking of you. I understand you need time out but we are here when you are ready x