Haha
Welcome to the "only child" family
I still consider myself an only child ... when I was 14, my Father re-married. I was sent to live with my Mother (in Germany). When I was 18, my Father and his wife adopted two children. So - not having ever really lived with siblings, I don't really feel like they are my sisters - plus, I was fully grown up when they adopted.
Spending most of my life travelling between my parents, never having my Father around for Christmas (always had a really special relationship with my Father, but due to the circumstances, it was at a distance), the adopted children have had more vacations with my Father than I have (don't get me wrong, I admire them for going the route of adoption - but somehow often have felt that I have lost out because of it - perhaps that sounds weird).
Anyway, the only thing that kept me going over all the years, because family events (Christmases etc. that my Mother used to make magical when I was little and the family was whole) were really painful for me, someone was always missing ... I had this little candle of hope in the window that some day, I would have my own family, I would have my children and I would make family life be the way that I believe it should be for a family, for my children ... together.
Facing what we did and seeing this one thing I had held on to for most of my life slipping away was unbelievably painful...
I think the one advantage that you have being younger (and I don't rate any of the comments as being brash - it is how you feel and you are perfectly entitled to have those feelings
) is the time factor and - should (heaven forbid) the diagnosis be, that biological children are an issue - you do still have plenty of time to discuss alternative ways of becoming parents (Ash, I understand DH's point of view too!).
When I started researching the option of adoption for example (in Germany, we could have tried donor sperm, but if we had also opted for donor eggs - even though everything seemed to be fine with me - we couldn't have gone down that route, as it is illegal here ... would have had to go abroad) I very soon discovered that I was already too old to adopt a newborn / baby!
Or for example, I really felt under pressure, at least the first year, to try again right away (the past couple of years, I relaxed a bit and we did take our time), really feeling the big "4-0" creeping up.
So with having more time, it is OK to take a break here or there, go somewhere else for a second opinion etc. etc.
But the pain, the stress, the emotional, physical, psychological strain : that is the same, no matter what stage of life you are at when confronted with the diagnosis of infertility
Sending everyone huge piles of
@ Baby - the cycle I got my BFP, I had no symptoms at all! The only thing that changed, was the OHSS I had had after egg collection, which did settle a bit by transfer, flared up again badly about two days after transfer and I got more and more bloated and sorer and sorer. But I felt no cramping, had no spotting, my breasts didn't do anything ... nothing to indicate, that we had a little bean burrowing in there. Try to feel and stay positive.
Started at the clinic when I was 36 - will be having my baby at 39 ... and at the beginning of the year I had said, "next year I will be 40 - if we are not pregnant by the end of the year, we are stopping trying".
... and have managed to develop carpal tunnel syndrome, so my finger joints and hands are constantly hurting / don't have much strength. The doctor asked if I wanted to have braces, but I figured, I could cope for the last two weeks and didn't need them.
