Team Angels

[RobenR]

Peach it's wonderful news for you! So happy! Many congrats on making the announcement public!

 

[Baby-Cakes]

Peach so exciting, really hope I can get to that point xx

I've had a bit of a melt down in the last week, I'm so paranoid keep getting af type pains and I just burst into tears (I know this is probably hormones, but I'm not coping). I've convinced myself that it's a mmc again and dh is ready to murder me, I'm at the mw on Friday for first booking appt and I'm going to see if she can get me a scan any earlier (they are normally around 14 wks in this area) but I will go crazy if I have to wait that long.

Sorry for ranting ladies just a bit

xxx

 

[Peach Blossom]

Baby Cakes. I know how you feel. It's so so scary and you convince yourself that every twinge and pain is bad news. Can't believe that your GP hasn't requested an early scan for you. I'm sure the MW will be sympathetic to your situation and organise one for you. Hang on in there hon. xx

 

[RobenR]

Hi ladies,

Yesterday I made the mistake of watching a music video in the MC section called "I will love you until the day I die", it's beautiful but it made me bawl my eyes out, and then, I started thinking of my lost Elizabeth.

I miss her, so much. It hurts just as fresh as the day I found out she was dead.

I know I have Jean-Luc, my miracle and am lucky to have him and love him so much. But after seeing that video, it's almost put me back to square one. She would have been over a year old now, and the pain...

I know I'm not making a lot of sense here right now, but I feel so conflicted. If she had've lived, I never would have had Jean-Luc, and while I can hold him in my arms I still yearn for the one I lost.

Am I making sense?

 

[Peach Blossom]

Oh Roben. Of course it makes sense. We all know the pain you're feeling and we all know that no matter how "over it" we think we are there will be triggers some days that will put us right back to the point where we first felt the grief and pain. Of course you are thankful for Jean Luc and love him with all your might, but that doesn't diminish the love you feel for Elizabeth and the pain you feel at her loss. Not just because she's gone, but you mourn everything that she'll never get to experience. Don't beat yourself up for feeling like this. It's perfectly natural and we all understand it.

 

[Baby-Cakes]

Roben xx

Thanks Peach have been dealt with by the epu until now, had my last scan at 7+5 and saw hb but won't get another til around 14 wks. Had my mmc at 8+2 so just paranoid same thing has happened. I've decided this afternoon to just concentrate on having lots of pma!! (easier said then done but I'll give it a try).

I'm having major symptoms which I can't really remember having with mmc, constantly nauseas, tired and sore (.)(.)'s so not sure why I'm complaining really

xxx

 

[Widger]

Oh Peach!! I'm so happy for you. It is such a fantastic feeling having a great scan with your baby moving

Babycakes - Same will happen for you

Chilli - Hope all ok xx

Bklove - You are next WOO HOO

Roben - I don't think we will ever get over our losses but we learn to cope

:dust and to us all xxxx

 

[bklove]

baby cakes. I know you've been through alot, but try to remember this is its own positive experience and it will be different than for. <--just more pma!

Robenr- We understand. Its sort of bitter sweet, and I think peach said it best

Widger- I can't believe it, it is going to happen pretty soon. I'm trying to keep the pma going myself for a happy and healthy baby.

Peach- they wanted me to get off my feet more to help the baby gain a little more weight. Its gaining weight, but i guess on the low end for where we are, or so they say. I don't know, to me the baby is doing fine and is keeping up...thats what Dr. Google said lol, but I didn't want to do anything to make things worse so I went along with doctors orders. And really it did come at a good time because it has been exhausting and there is nothing wrong with rest, more food,more rest and more water

 

[Tink1o5]

Hi Ladies,

Babycakes: Hey hun, sorry your still feeling so paranoid and worried. If it helps any during my pregnancy i had some AF cramps too. Actually some Horribly bad cramps. I went to the doc and forced them to do a scan. All was fine. =) so cramps dont always mean bad. Your over half way to the safe 12 week marker. You can do it hun we all believe in you!

Widger: Your lil one is so cute and small in that pic i remember when my little man was that little. Im already wanting another one HAHA but gonna hold off for a bit as i think it would be a bit unfair to Bao.

Roben: i know how you feel. I had my MC in Feb 09. So my little one would almost be a year. But everyday just to make it better i look at my little boy and his smile an remember how lucky i am to have him.

BK: cant wait for you lil one to be born. So exciting. EEK haha. Not to much longer

 

[Chilli]

Hey Widger - nice to hear from you! I'm ok, still pretty much the only one here without a bun in the oven! and sick to boot!

Babycakes - my experience of 2 mmcs is that as long as you feel sick with sore boobs you're ok, so take heart! You have to get yourself a little mantra so that you can chant it to yourself when you're worried and get yourself through. I hope you get another scan soon. Here they don't do til 20 weeks!!!!??? You can get one done privately though if you ask and it doesn't cost the earth, about £100 I think

Roben - I had the same reaction to that song, but felt good about allowing myself to grieve for my babies - let them know they're not forgotten. I'm sure a lot of ladies feel like you do about not having one if you hadn't lost the other, it must be a difficult one!

 

[Smile4me]

Hi everyone well Chilli your not the only one without a bun in the oven hun, I just joined you so we can be soon to be buns in the ovens together

Well let me sum up my lil story ...
I carried twins for 8 months 12 years ago and they were monoamniotic twins therefore their cords got tangled and they passed so in a nut shell, I had to deliver my beautiful baby girls and bury them within two days. I do have four amazing beautiful daughters so I am truly blessed.

I met my wonderful husband three years ago and he accepted the girls as if they were his own and he came into our lives when we least expected it, we were prepared to get out of my ex husbands abusive environment for good and we were well on our way and God brought us my soul mate ... we decided to have a child of our own and began trying with no luck! Fifteen months later we sought help and were prescribed clomid and were successful on our second round and everything looked GREAT until my 10 1/2 week appointment there was no heartbeat after seeing the hb at 8 weeks Our dreams were shattered today when I went in for my first ever D&C so here I am on the Team Angels site thanks to Peach Blossom- she told me about this thread.

I hope I can give some advice and be able to express my grief as well.
I look forward to geting to know you wonderful ladies!

 

[Peach Blossom]

Welcome Smile. So glad you found your way over to us. So sorry again for your losses. I'm glad the D&C went without problems. Rest well my lovely.

 

[bklove]

Chilli- you'll get there, I strongly believe that. This team has produced way to many graduates!

Smile4me- Welcome and thank you for sharing your story with us. I look forward to sharing in your journey and I hope its a short and sweet one.

 

[Tink1o5]

Welcome Smiles. Sorry we had to meet this way, but i know all the ladies here are great. They are so comforting and show so much love to eachother.

 

[Smile4me]

Today was very emotional.. I'm like a roller coaster, one minute I'm fine the next I'm going off on dh for something that is out of his control... I feel awful for treating him this way but my hormones are raging and I haven't been able to sleep at all and I have no appetite, as much as I want to be positive, Its so damn difficult!!!!
I'm pissed/sad/confused/positive/hopeful/angry all at the same time and I can't contain or control my feelings... I'm usually the positive one, the one that lifts everyones spirits but I feel so helpless right now.
I am truly blessed to have such wonderful family and friends but I am getting mad at the smallest things and taking them out on the ones I love the most which makes me more mad and sad... I think I've gone crazy... lol

Sorry I just needed to vent.

 

[Peach Blossom]

Oh Smile You've been doing so amazingly. It's perfectly understandable to be feeling the way you are. It's only been a few days since you found out the terrible news. Your hormones are going crazy, but you're also grieving and that can manifest in many ways. Your DH will understand, from what you've said he's a wonderful man. It's important that you allow yourself to go through all of these feelings. Don't try to suppress them so that you can continue being the positive person you are as that won't help in the long run. It's tough, I know, because on the one hand you're sitting there thinking how unfair it all is and how sad you are and on the other hand you're desperate to be pregnant again and looking forward positively to TTC again. It's a really tough time and all us ladies on here understand what you're feeling. Vent away my lovely. remember that it's ok to not be ok. xxx

 

[RobenR]

Welcome Smile and deepest sympathies on your loss. Peach said it best I think, there is no right or wrong way to feel right now, only the way YOU feel. You will cope with this the best way you know how and people should not judge that. Your DH should be understanding, especially with your hormones running rampant at the moment.

I know it's so hard to get back to a good place until you can TTC again, but you will get there.

This is a fantastic forum of ladies who have been a blessing to me and we're all here for you.

 

[Smile4me]

Awww thanks ladies I really appreciate it.
Today is a new day, the problem is I still can't sleep. The girls go to their dads for the weekend so I plan on getting some R&R, some quiet time and prepare myself to tell them.

How's everyone else doing?

 

[Peach Blossom]

Good thinking smile.

I've got a really bad headache Had it on and off for about 3 days now. Caved in and had a paracetamol earlier. May skive off work early today.

 

[bklove]

smile4me, funny thing is all that you are experiencing is normal! Try to really make the best of that alone time, do something relaxing and or enjoyable and just take it one day at a time. If the sleep bit continues u may want to speak with someone about that. Can you nap during the day?