The 4+ club

[Onemoretime5]

This is great!!!

Giovanni-12
Mia-11
Dante- will be 10 in october
Tiana-7
And the twins are due Feb 23

 

[angels3..]

Hi ladies...

I would love to join you guys. I have 3+1 ON THE WAY...which would make 4.

Tyler-13
Hailey-9
Bradyn-5
Little baby-8 weeks and 1 day baking (due 3/7/12)

I don't know about anyone else but, I have a few forum buddies that are TTC #1 or 2 and I feel kinda' weird because I am on #4, and some of them have been TTC for years and once again....here I am on 4 (without struggle TTC). I often wonder if they think we don't have much in common. Maybe it's just me. I feel bad that these ladies are going through so much TTC just 1. Could I be
feeling guilty because I haven't had trouble TTC? Oh my, that just hit me!

I hear ya about the guilty part. I wasn't over the moon when I found out about this bean, in fact I cried for 3 days wondering how I was going to cope. I then found out one of my friends had miscarried for the second time at 10 weeks, it soon made me rethink my priorities. Also I'm dreading announcing this pg coz my brother and his girlfriend have been ttc for 2 yrs and here I am on my 2nd pregnancy in 1yr

 

[3boys]

yes i understand the guilt! i dont even want to announce im pregnant, i'll just let people work it out for themselves.

 

[blessedmomma]

we got some negative comments when we announced our 5th. everything from -how many more are you gonna have? to -do you have any idea how much 5 kids will cost? and- what will this do to your body/health? it was horrible. and that was from our families! we have told no one outside of bnb. im so thankful i have you ladies or i would have no one to talk to! it kinda hurt my feelings that my SIL is now pregnant and due about a week after us, it will be their 3rd and the same people who couldnt muster up a congrats for us are overjoyed. dont get me wrong, i love them and am over the moon for their fam to grow, but sad that i cant share my joy. why is a 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th baby not as joyous of an occasion? why the slap in the face with mean words at such a happy time?

i have no idea how long we will wait to tell. my DH says we will be in the delivery room and he will send out a text. we just dont want to ruin our joy with the same comments we got last time. it took a lot of prayers to forgive them

 

[3boys]

i know hun, my hubby asked today when we going to announce and i said i didnt want to and he said that if we didnt announce it then by keeping it quiet we were admitting we were doing something wrong and were ashamed and that we should announce with the same joy as when we had our first and ignore everyone and i suppose he has a point.

 

[blessedmomma]

i know hun, my hubby asked today when we going to announce and i said i didnt want to and he said that if we didnt announce it then by keeping it quiet we were admitting we were doing something wrong and were ashamed and that we should announce with the same joy as when we had our first and ignore everyone and i suppose he has a point.

he has a very good point! for us i know we arent doing anything wrong and i dont feel ashamed in any way. to me i dont think us keeping it quiet is admitting any wrong doing. its more admitting they hurt our feelings last time. i actually want to tell and im sad they dont share our joy. we have more praying to do so we arent offended by them like last time before we say. i want to say i can ignore any rude comments, but i need to be in a place where i truly can. my DH was a lot more hurt than me, it was mostly his family. my family really knows how strong willed i am and i have said i wanted at least 5 kids since i was little. plus my moms parents had 8 kids and my dads parents had 11. my parents had 4 of us, so not too much room to talk. and even more so for him to be hurt, one person was his mom. i really have to wait on him to be ready to handle it too.

now i feel like we are gonna be facing a different situation. i think when we finally do tell, they will be offended that we didnt tell them sooner. cant please everyone i assume!

 

[3boys]

no hun, definitely cant please everyone. I really don't want to tell cos i dont want to deal with any negative comments. But alot of people knew i was pregnant at the beginning of the year cos i was 13wks before i mc'd. I would hope that these people would see what i have been through to have this baby and might think twice before any negative comments. My family would be the same hun they know i always wanted a large family and they know how much i love it all so they are supportive. x x

 

[angels3..]

This is the reason I want to make my own family because my family just want to spout out negative crap and are not happy unless putting someone down. My mom once said to me when ds2 was about 7 mths "I only think about Ben (ds1) I don't ever think about the baby" and then she wonders why I didn't tell her about ds3. Today is the first time she's saw him and he's 11 mths, she's only seen ds2 about 10 times in 3 yrs. I wished I could be closer to her but even today I was constantly thinking is she showing more love to one than the other. It was quite a stressful experience, very tense wish it was better but after a comment like that I can't get over it and don't want to put my kids through it. Am I being too bitter?

 

[blessedmomma]

oh hunni i soooo hope no one has anything mean to say to you. that would be such crap if they do.

 

[blessedmomma]

This is the reason I want to make my own family because my family just want to spout out negative crap and are not happy unless putting someone down. My mom once said to me when ds2 was about 7 mths "I only think about Ben (ds1) I don't ever think about the baby" and then she wonders why I didn't tell her about ds3. Today is the first time she's saw him and he's 11 mths, she's only seen ds2 about 10 times in 3 yrs. I wished I could be closer to her but even today I was constantly thinking is she showing more love to one than the other. It was quite a stressful experience, very tense wish it was better but after a comment like that I can't get over it and don't want to put my kids through it. Am I being too bitter?

i dont know hun. i dont want to feel that way and want to have a forgiving heart too, but its hard when its said about your children. my DH mom lives 20 something hours away so when she came to visit it took a lot to be nice. she was all wanting to hold the baby and it was everything i could do to not say, "oh you mean you want to hold our financial burden?" i dont want to be like that so i held my tongue. im glad people cant see our thoughts though, thats for sure.

 

[3boys]

i would never say something like that but at the same time i think it is so funny! lol! my sil told me to have an abortion when i told her i was pregnant on Ava, now when she plays with her i wonder does she ever think about what she said. x x

 

[blessedmomma]

i think about what people said and wonder if they remember too.

i cant believe your sil said that!!!!

 

[3boys]

i know she said it wasnt a real baby just a bundle of cells and i should get rid cos i would never manage with 4 kids, i wonder then at what point the bundle of cells becomes a baby!

 

[blessedmomma]

wowzer! to me its life when the spermies meet the egg, no matter what it is made up of at that point. but hey i guess we all see it differently. arent we all still a bundle of cells??? i think i learned that in college chemistry lol

 

[Josiejo]

hey guys i am on no. 5! I have Ryan who is 6, Evan who is 5, Caleb who is 2 and Ava is 1!

Welcome, welcome! Congrats on the new pregnancy and I'm so sorry about your loss

 

[Josiejo]

this time i will be at home from birth till forever (starting my own company)

Thats exciting...What business are you starting?

A web design and creative solutions company and also my photography company

My OH is a accountant so will be starting his own practise too so we can both enjoy this one growing up

Ooooh good luck - let me know when you have a website up and running

We're starting a new business too!! Richard used to be a professional DJ, so we're starting a music management company, managing DJs and hiring PA equipment. Also, as an additional extra I'm sourcing party entertainment, bouncy castles, face painting, wedding planning, baby showers, makeup parties, balloons - you name it we would probably be able to supply it! We're so excited - we're doing a disco this Saturday for an adult birthday bash and a wedding disco next Saturday (I'm also doing all the sugar almond wedding favours and cones of candy for the kids!!!)

I want to be a stay at home mum but also want to run my business - best of both worlds I think.

 

[Josiejo]

I know what u mean about 2 in nappies, ds1 was still in nappies when ds2 was born and ds2 was still in nappies on a night when ds3 was born and now ds3 will only be 20mths when this lo is born. This is defo the last one I've been elbow deep in nappies for 6 yrs and prob got another 2 ahead arrrggghhh lol x

At least you're a dab hand at changing nappies now x

 

[Josiejo]

Welcome to:

Miche28
Lesh07 (Amy-boo how cute)
Lynlouc (Maddison is my maiden name )
Fngrs crossed
Onemoretime5 - OMG twins!!! How fantastic!

and congrats to you all

As for feeling guilty, I know how you all feel when reading the ttc threads at the ladies that have struggled with conceiving. I feel guilty annoucing my 5th pregnancy especially as my LO is only 5 months old.

My mum and sister laughed when they found out as they kind of knew I hadn't finished growing my family yet. My brother on the other hand went mental at me and actually shouted at me saying "when are you ever going to get your life back". I calmly told him that my children were my life and that we all supported him when he announced that he was gay (at the age of 47) and was going to get divorced so he should really support how I'm choosing to live my life. He went quiet and agreed that he had chosen how to lead his life and I'm choosing mine and then he apologised.

Everyone has the right to choose what to do with their life, we only live it once and I want mine to have lots of children in!!!!!

 

[Onemoretime5]

Josiejo thanks for the welcome
It is fantastic! but as I have been reading I see that most of you are going through what I am going through with family and friends putting their unwanted 2 cents in about how I have too many children. I dont see why anybody should say anything its not like they are going to be raising them, feeding and clothing them. Why do people have to be so hurtful and rain on your bliss parade! It just makes me so upset,

 

[Josiejo]

Okay ladies, I've updated the front page to show your names, number preg and due date. I haven't got due dates for some of you .... please let me know and I'll update you (or if I've put wrong info or missed anyone else - I apologise in advance) xx