The 4+ club

[Wantingbbbump]

Josiejo~ Thank you!! I'm Due April 4TH.

corrie anne~ I have been getting really rude comments about being pregnant with baby #5. I have been trying for this baby for 6 years now and had to turn to donor sperm and do a at home insemination to get it. My Dh has no sperm and my kids are from PM's. I am very proud to be pregnant! Someone looked at me yesterday (my friends sister) and said don't you think you had enough..you'd think that by now you would learn to keep your legs shut so you didn't have a football team Um I wanted to slap her. I am a married woman and if I want to BD with my dh then so be it. (nobody other than my mom & step dad know that we used a donor) Others have asked me if I'm going to get fixed now, or the how do you do it with 4 I'd pull my hair out. You have to love the "you do know how this happens..right" I have had more but I don't want to write a book.. I don't understand why people have to say rude things just because we have big family's. It really makes me mad and I so want to look at them and say OMG I would go crazy if I only had 1 or 2 kids...My house would be sooo empty & dull. Or my saying to the people that say "why in the world would you want so many kids" I just smile and say "So I never have to cook or clean again" that shuts them up real fast...

I really don't get why people have such a problem with people like us that want a large family. I wouldn't want it any other way and I couldn't imagine my life without my kids.

 

[3boys]

Josiejo~ Thank you!! I'm Due April 4TH.

corrie anne~ I have been getting really rude comments about being pregnant with baby #5. I have been trying for this baby for 6 years now and had to turn to donor sperm and do a at home insemination to get it. My Dh has no sperm and my kids are from PM's. I am very proud to be pregnant! Someone looked at me yesterday (my friends sister) and said don't you think you had enough..you'd think that by now you would learn to keep your legs shut so you didn't have a football team Um I wanted to slap her. I am a married woman and if I want to BD with my dh then so be it. (nobody other than my mom & step dad know that we used a donor) Others have asked me if I'm going to get fixed now, or the how do you do it with 4 I'd pull my hair out. You have to love the "you do know how this happens..right" I have had more but I don't want to write a book.. I don't understand why people have to say rude things just because we have big family's. It really makes me mad and I so want to look at them and say OMG I would go crazy if I only had 1 or 2 kids...My house would be sooo empty & dull. Or my saying to the people that say "why in the world would you want so many kids" I just smile and say "So I never have to cook or clean again" that shuts them up real fast...

I really don't get why people have such a problem with people like us that want a large family. I wouldn't want it any other way and I couldn't imagine my life without my kids.

i cant believe you have been treated like that over baby no. 5! im also having baby no. 5! which was very much planned but i feel like keeping it a secret because of small minded peoples reactions like the ones you received. Congrats on your pregnancy hun! x x

 

[corrie anne]

It is hard and i still get looks. We stayed at mil house for a visit for a week and after 3 nights she kicked us out saying it not that they are bad kids, we just arent use to so many. They are your family. We are staying at sil house for now til we go home. I dont understand. She has 5 kids herself plus she had at least 3 abortions and a tubal. So, if i would have just eliminated some or gave them up, i would have been a better person? Please lady. I would love to have my house full of grandkids, i am so looking forwards o it. My mil commented that hopefully some of my girls will get fixed or really wont want to have kids. I know its not normal to have so many and it takes time to get use to. My mother said she would like to see us but only 2 kids at a time. But, that itsnt the family. We are a whole. My father has 6 kids although he did not take care of us through the child stages, he still has 6. So, i am babbling now.lol

 

[blessedmomma]

i dont understand it either, but oh well. there is a lot of love in our home and i cant imagine life without any one of them. we werent planning or preventing this pregnancy and are over the moon about it. we got a lot of comments about our last baby so wont be telling anyone right away.

corrie anne i cant believe your MIL! what a horrible woman. after hearing these other stories of people wanting you ladies to have abortions or put them up for adoption i kinda feel like the neg comments we received werent so bad!

we have no idea how many we will have. we will be not trying/not preventing for the rest of our lives. im 33 and DH is 36, so i imagine we will be fertile for a while. we believe in God so we decided that He could decide for us how many we have and He can space them out for us as well. im sure not everyone agrees, but we believe the Lord opens the womb and creates life at His will. we know that every person He makes has their own special purpose and if He chooses us to raise that person then we can trust Him to provide all we need to raise them. including finances, patience, love, wisdom, clothes, food, everything. we believe each child is a blessing and we have nothing to fear. we know that His will is greater than ours, and i feel honored that He would trust us to raise even 1 child, let alone 6 already! our family is extremely happy, our children are well-adjusted, secure, and we lack nothing. we pray over our children that they will grow up to glorify the Lord with their lives, beyond that i cant ask for anything else.

sometimes i think about what i ever did before i had children. or even when i had only 1 or 2. my home must have been very quiet and boring, LOL!how did i keep busy???? now that i have 2-3 loads of laundry a day, 1-2 loads of dishes, and straighten up the house literally all day long, i wonder how i didnt lay around getting fat

 

[blessedmomma]

It is hard and i still get looks. We stayed at mil house for a visit for a week and after 3 nights she kicked us out saying it not that they are bad kids, we just arent use to so many. They are your family. We are staying at sil house for now til we go home. I dont understand. She has 5 kids herself plus she had at least 3 abortions and a tubal. So, if i would have just eliminated some or gave them up, i would have been a better person? Please lady. I would love to have my house full of grandkids, i am so looking forwards o it. My mil commented that hopefully some of my girls will get fixed or really wont want to have kids. I know its not normal to have so many and it takes time to get use to. My mother said she would like to see us but only 2 kids at a time. But, that itsnt the family. We are a whole. My father has 6 kids although he did not take care of us through the child stages, he still has 6. So, i am babbling now.lol

thats not babbling hun! i agree and i cant believe she wants her grandchildren to not experience the joy of bearing and raising children of their own! what greater joy in life is there???

i love the season we are in right now in our lives, having and raising babies for the glory of the Lord. i also think about when this season moves on into the next when we wont be able to have children and i soooo am looking forward to my grandchildren. my DH and i agree on this whole heartedly, our elderly years will be spent spoiling our grandchildren and God-willing our great grandchildren. im so sorry your MIL sees children as a burden. she really missed out on all the joy they provide!

 

[FngrsCrossed]

Good morning 4+ ladies....
I hope everyone is well this morning. Is anyone else sick as a neglected dog? Oh, my, oh my, I am not so hot for the past 7 weeks. I need to know if someone else is going through this like I am. I am so thinking this little bean may be a girl, I am way to sick. my son's didn't do this to me. With my DD I was a little sick but not this sick. My Dr. actually did another scan on me, seeing as the Ultrasound tech didn't take clear pics of the little bean. I was so looking to see if there was another baby in there that could be causing this severe morning/all day sickness. But it's only one little trouble maker in there. lol lol

Anyone else have there scan done yet?

 

[corrie anne]

I am looking forwards to being a grandparent. My husband tells his mother that he was made to have children and if he wants more its nobodys business. I am not sure if i want more, i would if they can be spread out more or more are in school. It makes it easier when they are there and i can get cleaning done. I have a horrible time getting them to pick up and help clean. I know they are still young but they are lazy, the older ones i should have taught them young to be more responsable and now paying for it. The younger ones want to take after their older siblings and complain about cleaning as well. I dont know where to begin on how to restrict their activaties and playing if they dont listen. I think i am a mess.lol. I have routine but my routine is me doing everything and i just cant keep doing it myself.

 

[FngrsCrossed]

It is hard and i still get looks. We stayed at mil house for a visit for a week and after 3 nights she kicked us out saying it not that they are bad kids, we just arent use to so many. They are your family. We are staying at sil house for now til we go home. I dont understand. She has 5 kids herself plus she had at least 3 abortions and a tubal. So, if i would have just eliminated some or gave them up, i would have been a better person? Please lady. I would love to have my house full of grandkids, i am so looking forwards o it. My mil commented that hopefully some of my girls will get fixed or really wont want to have kids. I know its not normal to have so many and it takes time to get use to. My mother said she would like to see us but only 2 kids at a time. But, that itsnt the family. We are a whole. My father has 6 kids although he did not take care of us through the child stages, he still has 6. So, i am babbling now.lol

How hateful and cruel!! I am in shock after reading your post. I don't know of your beliefs, but if you are a christian/god loving woman , the only thing you can do is pray for them, let go and let God. No one has a right to determine how many children you or your children have except God. We ask for cures for Cancer, AIDS and other diseases; The key to the cures are placed in these little ones, our future. Please do not let anyone make you feel bad for being able to give birth to your beautiful children. Maybe the problem is that they aren't worthy to be around those angels. No child is bad, children are children. They do things they aren't suppose to, but they learn later with repetition. It disappoints me to see family being so divided and hurtful. Families are suppose to stick together and support one another. You will definitely be in my prayers if you would like me to include you. Until then keep your head high and don't let anyone make you lower it.

 

[corrie anne]

Thank you,fngrscrossed!
I only let it bother me because i want my children to know their family. If i didnt care about that then they would be the past. But i didnt have a family growing up really, mother and father divorsed when i was 3. Mother was in the Navy so she worked all the time. I dont want that for my family. I wanted them to be able to see their family when ever they wanted. But i dont think they need them if these are the comments that i receive, IN FRONT OF MY CHILDREN, i might add. I dont want my children thinking babies are a negitive thing. My oldest is now starting to make comments about how big her family is and that she doesnt like all the kids. I get comments from my mil that my oldest dont get attention(which by the way we live 6hrs away so she has no idea what goes on in my home) and that i cant give her what she needs. She doesnt need things. We do things as a family and i take her everywhere with me and leave the babies with daddy. If anything, i spend too much time with her. But that isnt enough, she means if i did not have so many kids my daughter(which they have no problem saying is their favorite)would have things that she wanted other than using money to buy diapers and extra food. I dont want her to think that having a big family is wrong, and to think that her family doesnt give her what she wants. I second hand store shop to get our needs, i buy what is there available and if there wasnt something for her she gets mad. I think they are trying to turn her against us, my husband thinks so too.

 

[Wantingbbbump]

i dont understand it either, but oh well. there is a lot of love in our home and i cant imagine life without any one of them. we werent planning or preventing this pregnancy and are over the moon about it. we got a lot of comments about our last baby so wont be telling anyone right away.

corrie anne i cant believe your MIL! what a horrible woman. after hearing these other stories of people wanting you ladies to have abortions or put them up for adoption i kinda feel like the neg comments we received werent so bad!

we have no idea how many we will have. we will be not trying/not preventing for the rest of our lives. im 33 and DH is 36, so i imagine we will be fertile for a while. we believe in God so we decided that He could decide for us how many we have and He can space them out for us as well. im sure not everyone agrees, but we believe the Lord opens the womb and creates life at His will. we know that every person He makes has their own special purpose and if He chooses us to raise that person then we can trust Him to provide all we need to raise them. including finances, patience, love, wisdom, clothes, food, everything. we believe each child is a blessing and we have nothing to fear. we know that His will is greater than ours, and i feel honored that He would trust us to raise even 1 child, let alone 6 already! our family is extremely happy, our children are well-adjusted, secure, and we lack nothing. we pray over our children that they will grow up to glorify the Lord with their lives, beyond that i cant ask for anything else.

sometimes i think about what i ever did before i had children. or even when i had only 1 or 2. my home must have been very quiet and boring, LOL!how did i keep busy???? now that i have 2-3 loads of laundry a day, 1-2 loads of dishes, and straighten up the house literally all day long, i wonder how i didnt lay around getting fat

I 100% agree with you!! Children are a blessing from god and he says when people get pregnant...even when people have to have IVF & IUI. Even before we knew that dh had a zero count we were never going to do anything to prevent a child from being born. Now I know that dh & I can bd till the cows come home and we will never make a child together but this baby that is growing inside me is the biggest blessing!! God allowed my to get pregnant with him/her, I feel that god keeps blessing us (everyone with a large family) with beautiful babies because we are such good mommies!!! I only had a 10~15% chance of getting pregnant with this child and it might have been lower because my donor is 58...people need to keep their mouths shut and let us have our god given gifts!!

 

[blessedmomma]

wanting- i agree completely! to us it doesnt matter if that child comes to you through ivf, iui, surrogacy, or adoption. or any other way. it was still the Lord who created that life and He gets all the glory for such a miraculous thing! i believe He gave Dr's the wisdom to know what they know and provided your Dr with the knowledge and wisdom to give you an answer and He provided a way to bless you.

corrie anne- the more i hear of your MIL the more i am just mortified. im afraid i would keep my children away from her. thats just poison for your family. i cant believe she has made your daughter feel that way. we are always coming up with ways for our children to serve each other and to help out with whatever abilties they have. they may fuss at each other every now and then as i think all siblings do, but they are always showing love to one another and praying for each other in our evening prayers. there is no way i would allow someone to tell one of my children that they are the fave and try to make them greedy for more like they lack in some way. we try hard to keep our children thankful for what they have and remind them always that there are children dying every single night from bad water and no food or no place to live safely or lack of health care. theres no way i would tolerate anyone tearing down what we have instilled in their hearts about caring for others first and being thankful for what they do have, family or not.

 

[Scarletvixen]

Im expecting baby number 5 xx

 

[babyanise]

congrats scarlet

 

[3boys]

congrats Scarlet! x x

 

[corrie anne]

With mil, it is what it is. She will never change. She is cold hearted, she has been through a lot and i sure would not have wanted to walk in her young shoes, but i have been through some of it too and i chose to make sure i dont make the same mistakes my mother did to be a better parent for them. I think i am a great mother and i know sometimes it is overwelming but the good always out weigh the bad. I am just glad that i have other mothers here for support because i cant vent anywhere else. I feel better about it and i surtainly wont let anyone bash my family.

 

[Josiejo]

I just smile and say "So I never have to cook or clean again" that shuts them up real fast...

I always tell people that I'm having lots of kids so they can look after me when I'm old

 

[Josiejo]

Im expecting baby number 5 xx

congratulations! When's your EDD for the first page x

 

[blessedmomma]

well, we told the fam. horrible responses. its very upsetting and i dont really want to get into too many details. my sister, SIL, and aunt were the only pos comments we got. i told DH we shouldnt have said anything today, but he said they would say those things no matter when we told. ugh. i think he is right. im really feeling down now and upset. people can be very crappy

 

[Josiejo]

corrieanne for you and your children xxxx

 

[blessedmomma]

congrats scarlet! sorry, had a me moment there