Hi all,
New to the thread and site.
5 weeks ago I lost my daughter Elizabeth.
It was a slightly difficult pregnancy, nothing too serious just was stressful.
Cystic fibrosis test came back positive, but my husband didnt carry the gene so we were fine.
Had early onset gestational diabetes so that was fun..
Downsyndrome test came back as screen positive with 1/30 chance.
On 12/22 we had the CVS done. Everything seemed fine.
a few weeks later I started to notice a little extra wetness but read that thats a normal symptom of second trimesters.
on 1/22 I got really sick. Fevers and uncontrollable shivering. I couldnt drink water without throwing up. I was very dehydrated.
There was a nasty flu going around and I assumed I had gotten it.
I treated to myself as if i would any flu at home.
On 1/24 after a few days of unbreakable fevers I went in to see a doctor.
She snarked at me and tested me for the flu and gave me fluids in her office. The flu test came back negative and she emailed that evening to tell me it wasnt the flu. - but thats all.
on 1/27 at 5 am i began to have contractions. I knew what they felt like vrs. braxton hicks because I had already delivered one healthy child.
I stood up and my water broke.
I had my husband take me in to the doctor to confirm that I was in labor.
That evening at 5:30 pm we lost Elizabeth. She had kept fighting all the way up until the delivery and passed away as she was coming into the world. I was 20 weeks.
Its now been about 5 weeks and I am lost.
Everyone treats me like i should be better by now but I am so deeply broken.
We had been planning Elizabeth for over a year and when we conceived we were so thrilled.
Some days I am fine and happy and motivated to not let her life be in vain. I work hard eat well and pay extra attention to my son.
Some days i tear up in quiet times but make it through the days okay..
Some days I am so angry, so mad at myself, my doctors, my friends who say the wrong thing... ANYONE WHO SAYS " OH I HAD A MISSCARRAIGE ONCE TOO"
no no no no, there is such a huge difference in a misscarriage and a late term miss carriage or second trimester loss. Or at least thats what I am fixating on..
Other days I drink a bottle of wine and cry my eyes out. - like last night.
Just hoping to have a place to let some of this go...
Maybe come across something that will help..