The Loss of Breastfeeding - Guilt, Grief & Support Thread

[MrsPOP]

Sarah.

 

[vintage67]

Aw.

My husband had take a very cute photo of our older son giving Everett a bottle and wanted to put it on his facebook page. I said, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Please don't!"

We went to my mother's house for a visit yesterday and it was so nice to nap on the couch while she fed him. She is in her 70's and my two boys are her only grandchildren. I know she has cherished her time feeding both of them when she gets to see them. So, yesterday was a lovely day for formula, for me, hearing my mom so happy giving Everett a bottle!

 

[fides]

I have never been questioned by a FF mum as to why i FF, but with every breastfeeding friend i have had to justify why i formula feed and at the end of the conversation I never feel that i have their understanding- just their pity and the unspoken-for want of a better word-accusation that i did not try hard enough.

YES! ALL of my friends have asked why i'm don't BF - those with kids of their own, and those without. urgh. It gets old.

I dont want pity. I just dont want to be judged.

One of my more judgmental friends (who is pregnant with her 1st) had asked me why i wasn't BF, and after i told her, she said, "well, i guess you tried - my sister-in-law didn't try b/c she was afraid it would hurt too much, so we don't think very highly of her." I was speechless.

Just a suggestion, as I to feel the same about judgment on this site.... But would it help maybe moving over to a fb group?

I'm not on FB, and i am very thankful for this B&B thread.

Afternoon ladies I wanted to cry again tpray when Thomas started crying in town for a feed and I had to give him a bottle

I suppose I'm kind of lucky for where I live. Bf is the minorty and I've never seen a woman bf here. Most mums here are underage or typical dole bums. Part of me feels glad sometimes because I don't like drawing attention (not that you have to when you bf of course) but I still feel so sad

I've encountered only one mom who FF, and it was at church - we were both in the baby crying area and i pulled out my bottle, and she actually smiled and offered to help, then a few minutes later, she pulled out her bottle too. Everyone else i know or have seen with kids BF's.

 

[BabyBoo36]

I just find it all mad! At least we are feeding our babies - surely that should be the most important thing?

I just wish people from all sides could see past the whole BF/FF/baby wearing/co-sleeping/whatever judgements and see that we all want what is best for OUR babies! In a perfect world I suppose.......

 

[vintage67]

Everytime I see one of these horrible, truly abusive stories on the news, it really puts it into perspective doesn't it?

 

[MrsPOP]

One of my more judgmental friends (who is pregnant with her 1st) had asked me why i wasn't BF, and after i told her, she said, "well, i guess you tried - my sister-in-law didn't try b/c she was afraid it would hurt too much, so we don't think very highly of her." I was speechless.

Good mother of Bob

Has this friend had her baby yet? BF go like an absolute dream for her then?

 

[Karlie06]

I just find it all mad! At least we are feeding our babies - surely that should be the most important thing?

I just wish people from all sides could see past the whole BF/FF/baby wearing/co-sleeping/whatever judgements and see that we all want what is best for OUR babies! In a perfect world I suppose.......

I totally agree. Why do people need to justify their decisions to anyone else? Whether it's how you feed your baby, where lo sleeps or blw or tw, the list goes on.....be happy with your baby and trust yourself in your parenting judgements xx

 

[BabyBoo36]

Everytime I see one of these horrible, truly abusive stories on the news, it really puts it into perspective doesn't it?

It just drives me batty that other people (not just Mum's) can pass judgement so quickly when they have no idea what has led people to come to their decision. I was actually stopped on the street by someone once who chastised me because Freya was on her side - she had a golf ball sized cyst on her spine and couldn't lie on her bloody back! She'd have probably called social services if she'd realised I was "shock horror" formula feeding as well!

And yes, I did tell her to feck off! x

 

[Karlie06]

I think if you are happy with the choice you have made, why give a fig about someone elses opinion? I know my baby better than anyone and other people's opinions are just that, opinions xx

 

[Snugggs]

Thank you for Max's well wishes mrspop..... It's thanks to ff .... A week ago I really didn't think I'd be happy saying that, but up am *thumbs up*

Xx

 

[fides]

One of my more judgmental friends (who is pregnant with her 1st) had asked me why i wasn't BF, and after i told her, she said, "well, i guess you tried - my sister-in-law didn't try b/c she was afraid it would hurt too much, so we don't think very highly of her." I was speechless.

Good mother of Bob

Has this friend had her baby yet? BF go like an absolute dream for her then?

nope. she's only 2 months preggers, so she naturally knows all. /sarcasm

 

[sequeena]

One of my more judgmental friends (who is pregnant with her 1st) had asked me why i wasn't BF, and after i told her, she said, "well, i guess you tried - my sister-in-law didn't try b/c she was afraid it would hurt too much, so we don't think very highly of her." I was speechless.

Good mother of Bob

Has this friend had her baby yet? BF go like an absolute dream for her then?

nope. she's only 2 months preggers, so she naturally knows all. /sarcasm

she has it all to come!

 

[MrsPOP]

One of my more judgmental friends (who is pregnant with her 1st) had asked me why i wasn't BF, and after i told her, she said, "well, i guess you tried - my sister-in-law didn't try b/c she was afraid it would hurt too much, so we don't think very highly of her." I was speechless.

Good mother of Bob

Has this friend had her baby yet? BF go like an absolute dream for her then?

nope. she's only 2 months preggers, so she naturally knows all. /sarcasm

she has it all to come!

But lucky for her if things go tits up she has a nice non-judgemental friend in Fides

 

[kimini26]

I needed these laughs today

 

[MrsPOP]

How are we all today ladies?

 

[goddess25]

Doing well. Have not caught this thread for awhile. Glad to see its helping so many moms who have had problems as you think your the only one.

 

[Snugggs]

I'm feeling great today thank you. Hope you are too mrspop, and the rest of you ladies?

I've received my baby wrap today so I shall be positively turning my attention to baby wearing. Think ut will help take my mind off the bf ing

X

 

[kimini26]

I've determined what the main source of my "guilt" is. Because I have bipolar disorder I have to take a medication that my doctors can't agree on whether or not its ok for breastfeeding. So I have to give my daughter half formula to keep her exposure low. I don't like that my mental health is the reason I am combi feeding. Everytime someone asks me if she's on formula or are we still breastfeeding I feel like crying because maybe if I were a stronger person I wouldn't need these meds. Nevermind the guilt I felt initially when I was exclusively pumping but felt like I had to explain myself everytime I gave Emma a bottle. So I guess I am more upset over the fact that I'm able and willing but not allowed. Not sure if that makes sense. This thread has really helped me feel better about the decisions we've had to make though.

 

[emyandpotato]

One of my more judgmental friends (who is pregnant with her 1st) had asked me why i wasn't BF, and after i told her, she said, "well, i guess you tried - my sister-in-law didn't try b/c she was afraid it would hurt too much, so we don't think very highly of her." I was speechless.

Good mother of Bob

Has this friend had her baby yet? BF go like an absolute dream for her then?

nope. she's only 2 months preggers, so she naturally knows all. /sarcasm

This was me when I was pregnant. I thought formula was like poison and if you couldn't BF you should express for the next five years. Never said it out loud but it was basically my opinion. Aha, I think that's called karma.

 

[MrsPOP]

Snugggs what wrap have you got? I had a moby but didnt wear Alice a for age because I was scared to with my section but we've started wearing her now and its lovely, I highly recommend babywearing!