The Loss of Breastfeeding - Guilt, Grief & Support Thread

[queenlavera]

Something occurred to me today. I don't remember anyone asking how Amy was fed but with Ollie several people have asked "are you feeding him yourself?"

I wish I could just reply with "why?".

I don't get how people have the gall to say certain things to our face, I expect big talk on the internet, everyone is tough on their computer. But some of the nonsense said in person just because I am pregnant or a mom is ridiculous.

 

[queenlavera]

It is really odd to me that I took not being able to breastfeed so hard, I didn't feel bad about my emcs and I read how some women are very torn up about it. I wonder why this struck a chord with me. I know being a mom is waaay more than just bf and some of the most important mom things we have do have passed (birth) and are coming up.

Edited to add:
I thought about it and I think it is because I just assumed I would be able to do it. Being told about it during cb class, bf class and the research on the internet, made me think that everyone can breastfeed and that all problems are fixable. But actually going thru this and hearing other ladies stories showed me that is not the case. I knew with having LO that it could happen either way but I just expected bf would work out, I didn't even have bottles.

 

[Maid Marian]

Just come across a bunch of FF blinkies, so thought I'd post the link here - https://s1233.photobucket.com/albums/ff393/milky_mommy/Formula Feeding Blinkies/#!cpZZ1QQtppZZ24

I particularly like these, they're milestone blinkies
https://i1233.photobucket.com/albums/ff393/milky_mommy/Formula%20Feeding%20Blinkies/formulafeeding-1month.gif


https://i1233.photobucket.com/albums/ff393/milky_mommy/Formula%20Feeding%20Blinkies/821c4af2a25fe7345917f0c2b7cbf1b8667de9b8.jpghttps://i1233.photobucket.com/albums/ff393/milky_mommy/Formula%20Feeding%20Blinkies/TGIFF1.gifhttps://i1233.photobucket.com/albums/ff393/milky_mommy/Formula%20Feeding%20Blinkies/formula1.gifhttps://i1233.photobucket.com/albums/ff393/milky_mommy/Formula%20Feeding%20Blinkies/savedlife.gif

 

[fides]

Kate,

Leopard,

Something occurred to me today. I don't remember anyone asking how Amy was fed but with Ollie several people have asked "are you feeding him yourself?"

I wish I could just reply with "why?".

I'm too prone to sarcasm - "Yep. I sure am. I myself feed him. Sometimes someone else is around to help at feeding time, but it's usually me, by myself."

It is really odd to me that I took not being able to breastfeed so hard, I didn't feel bad about my emcs and I read how some women are very torn up about it. I wonder why this struck a chord with me. I know being a mom is waaay more than just bf and some of the most important mom things we have do have passed (birth) and are coming up.

Edited to add:
I thought about it and I think it is because I just assumed I would be able to do it. Being told about it during cb class, bf class and the research on the internet, made me think that everyone can breastfeed and that all problems are fixable. But actually going thru this and hearing other ladies stories showed me that is not the case. I knew with having LO that it could happen either way but I just expected bf would work out, I didn't even have bottles.

same here. the only reason i've felt so bad about it all is b/c i just expected to be able to do it - didn't think women weren't able to - just assumed women could do it if they wanted to.

 

[mushypea]

My mum formula fed me and one brother - we did better at school and have less allergies than the two brothers she breastfed!

My son was bottle fed as breastfeeding didn't work out and he developed eczema at age 1 and asthma at age 2. My daughter (breastfed - she just 'knew' how to breastfeed) has at 6 months of age an asthma inhaler (bloody impossible to make her take it), at a very young age I noticed her skin was extremely sensitive so I'm using emollient and fully expect her to develop full blown eczema. Plus she has had cough after cough, cold after cold since Christmas Day... Just to reiterate that breastmilk is not the miracle some would believe. This pattern is true in DH's family - 2 babies ff - they are very healthy, 2 bf - both very bad allergies, asthma, hayfever, blah blah.

 

[MrsPOP]

Hi ladies,

Sorry Ive not been around. Having a bitch of a time.

Basically my mum was diagnosed with cancer a few months before I got pregnant and we were told it was terminal when I was 20 weeks and this week we've been told its spread to her brain and she has a very limited amount of time left.

So yeah...Im pretty devastated.

But I have a beautiful girl who will keep me going.

 

[queenlavera]

Mrs. Pop, I am so sorry to hear that, my dad died of lung cancer it is very hard. Just big to you in this very hard time.

 

[Karlie06]

So very sorry to hear that Mrs Pop, sending hugs to you and your family xx

 

[fides]

MrsPop,

 

[vintage67]

So sorry Mrs. Pop. Have been through palliative care with my mother in laws lung cancer and my father's Alzheimer's. Not an easy road.

Your mother must be so proud of you, her "daughter the doctor."

 

[jojo2012]

I'm so sorry mrspop. I know it's not much but at least she's met your lovely little girl. I hope your mum's being well looked after. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Xxoo

 

[Snuffy]

I'm so sorry MrsPop xx

 

[buddyIV]

So very sorry to hear about your Mum MrsPop Wish that we could do something practical to help you, but an internet hug will have to suffice for now xxx

 

[Rabbittchild]

Something occurred to me today. I don't remember anyone asking how Amy was fed but with Ollie several people have asked "are you feeding him yourself?"

I wish I could just reply with "why?".

When I was first asked this I misunderstood the question, I didn't think it was about FF/BF I was so confused as I was thinking "Who else is bloody feeding her when there's just the two of us?"

Hi ladies,

Sorry Ive not been around. Having a bitch of a time.

Basically my mum was diagnosed with cancer a few months before I got pregnant and we were told it was terminal when I was 20 weeks and this week we've been told its spread to her brain and she has a very limited amount of time left.

So yeah...Im pretty devastated.

But I have a beautiful girl who will keep me going.

I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum MrsPOP,

 

[Eala]

I'm really sorry to hear about your Mum, MrsPop

 

[ValentinesGal]

So sorry about your mom MrsPop...we'll be keeping you and your family in our prayers

 

[BabyBoo36]

Hugs to you MrsPop xxx

 

[summer rain]

Hugs to you mrs pop xx

 

[wiiwidow]

So sorry Mrs Pop, that's such tough news for you right now! xx

 

[mushypea]