The Loss of Breastfeeding - Guilt, Grief & Support Thread

[24/7]

I am in so love with this thread!!



The thing i hate the most is when some one posts something on internet and at the end attach a tagline saying "proud bfeeding momma of ** months old"
I mean...!? I know they may be not trying to be mean but it irritates me a lot!!

'I went through so n so pain, u can too' ....everyone has diff threshold levels!!
'low milk supply is a myth' .....tell that to the weighing scale
'you didn't try hard'.....well of course you know it all
'you are just being lazy' ...yeah i love to boil bottles, sterilise them, prepare water for feeds and then feed my baby
'you r being selfish' ....and again you sure know it all!
'you should pump at work'.... Everyone's not that lucky!!

Anyways everyone should be proud that they are feeding and loving their babies!!!

^ This!

I don't need anyone to remind me BF is best, and how wonderful BM is and its amazing qualities, I am very aware and so is everyone else, stop flippin' reminding me.

 

[vintage67]

I really hate to see it on the formula cans. I don't understand that at all. Why pour salt on a wound? And if you aren't turning to formula out of necessity like those of us in this thread, then it seems like "nah nah nah nah!" like some sort of "My dad can beat up your dad!" playground taunt!

 

[Kage76]

I really hate to see it on the formula cans. I don't understand that at all. Why pour salt on a wound? And if you aren't turning to formula out of necessity like those of us in this thread, then it seems like "nah nah nah nah!" like some sort of "My dad can beat up your dad!" playground taunt!

Its usually because they have to. I know that over here they have to by law- formula company tread a very fine line- at the best they can only infer that their formula is as good as BF otherwise they risk legislation being passed that makes their product harder to market and sell. For instance over here the idea of making formula prescription only was run up the flagpole- which drew out very heated arguments on both sides. They have to be seen to be encouraging BF but not at the expense of their product.

 

[Starry Night]

I don't know how anyone could actually make "formula by prescription only" a law. Who is going to fund all those extra lactation consultations or pay for all those infants hooked up to IVs because they're slowly starving? I still maintain my DS had a good latch and I had a great hold. He was just a lazy sucker. He wanted to sleep and eat at the same time and he could only do that on the bottle. Nothing I did kept him awake. What was I supposed to do? Shake him? I was already poking him, blowing on him, wiping him down with wet cloths, he was as naked as the day he was born....every stupid little trick and he still was below his birth weight at 2 weeks.

 

[andella95]

My girl was only 3oz above her birth weight at 5 weeks!

I looked for support and the only answer I got was don't give her formula - aka keep starving her!

 

[Starry Night]

Ds' paediatrician did offer to send us to a lactation consultant but I had seen one in the hospital and I was tired of fighting. DH and I had already made our decision and were at peace with it so going would have felt like reopening that can of worms. Even though I know we made the right decision for us I still feel guilty and wary of judgment though I haven't come across any in real life other than the occasional disappointed "ah, that's too bad".

 

[Lil_Pixie]

My girl was only 3oz above her birth weight at 5 weeks!

I looked for support and the only answer I got was don't give her formula - aka keep starving her!

Sorry for gate crashing but this really bugs me! "feed feed feed!" as if you would be concerned about your Baby's weight and wouldn't think to sodding feed it!

 

[Leopard]

I can honestly say my issue was the opposite formula formula formula from a fricking arrogant, uneducated doctor.

 

[MrsPOP]

I don't think formula top ups are evil or bad advice, in a lot of circumstances it can really help the immediate situation in order to re-establish BF more successfully and in some cases it can save a child from getting seriously unwell (as in my LOs case) or can save a baby's life.

As a Doctor, I will admit BF goes out of the window when faced with a dehydrated child who is clearly failing to thrive on BM. You want to immediately fix the problem and the best way in a lot of ways is formula. It may seem arrogant or uneducated to immediately offer formula, you may think they don't give a flying fig about BF. That's not true in most cases I feel

 

[Leopard]

I don't think formula top ups are evil or bad advice, in a lot of circumstances it can really help the immediate situation in order to re-establish BF more successfully and in some cases it can save a child from getting seriously unwell (as in my LOs case) or can save a baby's life.

As a Doctor, I will admit BF goes out of the window when faced with a dehydrated child who is clearly failing to thrive on BM. You want to immediately fix the problem and the best way in a lot of ways is formula. It may seem arrogant or uneducated to immediately offer formula, you may think they don't give a flying fig about BF. That's not true in most cases I feel

Yeah, but when all it is is slow weight gain (and you only have to look at her dad to see that was going to happen) and she is well hydrated, hitting all milestone a 100 miles and hour and is an all round happy baby, then I think they are uneducated. The reason her paedi put her on formula was to 'stretch her stomach' and to 'increase head circumference'. Guess what, still no real good growth with her head. Ugh just pisses me off that the doctor is directly to blame for my breastfeeding journey being so damn hard.

 

[andella95]

Something that made me feel better...

This might sound stupid, but when I first switched Breanna to formula I saw on the back of the can that the first ingredient was "Corn Syrup Solids" and that was one of the things that made it so tough. I felt like I was just giving her pure crap.

I didn't know that is only the sensitive/gentle formulas. When I finally bought her formula in the store and looked at the label and saw that the first ingredient was Nonfat Milk, followed by Lactose, High Oleic Safflower Oil, Soy Oil, Coconut Oil, Galacto-oligosaccharides, and whey protein concentrate (then vitamins & minerals), I felt better. After studying nutrition in college, I recognized that these were good things, and I was not actually feeding my baby the equivalent of soda, as had been inferred by other's previously.

*https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Galactooligosaccharide

 

[Kage76]

I don't think formula top ups are evil or bad advice, in a lot of circumstances it can really help the immediate situation in order to re-establish BF more successfully and in some cases it can save a child from getting seriously unwell (as in my LOs case) or can save a baby's life.

As a Doctor, I will admit BF goes out of the window when faced with a dehydrated child who is clearly failing to thrive on BM. You want to immediately fix the problem and the best way in a lot of ways is formula. It may seem arrogant or uneducated to immediately offer formula, you may think they don't give a flying fig about BF. That's not true in most cases I feel

i think doctors also see it in very black and white- BF is ideal but when they see a baby who isn't doing as well as they should because of lack of food the choice for them is simple. Food in = weight gain - failure to thrive. Its just a shame that the choice is not so simple for us. We beat ourselves up over it, we pump till our nipples peel and weep inconsolably at every failure to latch or breastfeeding poster. I fully believe that if formula was bad then it wouldn't be offered.

 

[vintage67]

Something that made me feel better...

This might sound stupid, but when I first switched Breanna to formula I saw on the back of the can that the first ingredient was "Corn Syrup Solids" and that was one of the things that made it so tough. I felt like I was just giving her pure crap.

I didn't know that is only the sensitive/gentle formulas. When I finally bought her formula in the store and looked at the label and saw that the first ingredient was Nonfat Milk, followed by Lactose, High Oleic Safflower Oil, Soy Oil, Coconut Oil, Galacto-oligosaccharides, and whey protein concentrate (then vitamins & minerals), I felt better. After studying nutrition in college, I recognized that these were good things, and I was not actually feeding my baby the equivalent of soda, as had been inferred by other's previously.

*https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Galactooligosaccharide

As a diabetic, the term "corn syrup solids" bothers me as well, and my boy is still on the gentle formulas.

 

[3boys]

Hey guy i hope you dont mind me posting but i sympathize so much with what you are feeling, i tried unsuccessfully to bf my first 4 children and hated myself when i would have to give up because of bleeding nipples etc. I would be so embarrassed bottle feeding my baby in public. But at the end of the day all 4 of my older children are happy and healthy, they are rarely sick, very much loved and have a pretty good life. Bottlefeeding them was not the end of the world like i thought at the time. This time i have managed to bf although i havent been doing anything different than the other times so im not sure why it worked out. You are all amazing women who are doing your best for your babies, be proud of that. x x

 

[queenlavera]

Something that made me feel better...

This might sound stupid, but when I first switched Breanna to formula I saw on the back of the can that the first ingredient was "Corn Syrup Solids" and that was one of the things that made it so tough. I felt like I was just giving her pure crap.

I didn't know that is only the sensitive/gentle formulas. When I finally bought her formula in the store and looked at the label and saw that the first ingredient was Nonfat Milk, followed by Lactose, High Oleic Safflower Oil, Soy Oil, Coconut Oil, Galacto-oligosaccharides, and whey protein concentrate (then vitamins & minerals), I felt better. After studying nutrition in college, I recognized that these were good things, and I was not actually feeding my baby the equivalent of soda, as had been inferred by other's previously.

*https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Galactooligosaccharide

As a diabetic, the term "corn syrup solids" bothers me as well, and my boy is still on the gentle formulas.

Mine too and he is doing very well at every appt. Formula is a sub for bm period and our babies will be fine.

 

[andella95]

As a diabetic, the term "corn syrup solids" bothers me as well, and my boy is still on the gentle formulas.

I hope I didn't make you feel bad!

We might have to switch Breanna to a gentle formula, as she had diarrhea 3-4 or more times per day. They told us to call again on Monday because she might just have a virus, but I'm pretty sure it's her formula, as she's been this way since going full on formula with no breastmilk. The amount of laundry I have to do is unbelievable. I even have to wash her bouncy seat because she leaks all over it.

 

[andella95]

As a diabetic, the term "corn syrup solids" bothers me as well, and my boy is still on the gentle formulas.

I hope I didn't make you feel bad!

We might have to switch Breanna to a gentle formula, as she had diarrhea 3-4 or more times per day. They told us to call again on Monday because she might just have a virus, but I'm pretty sure it's her formula, as she's been this way since going full on formula with no breastmilk. The amount of laundry I have to do is unbelievable. I even have to wash her bouncy seat because she leaks all over it.

Oh no! I'm holding her and she just pooped and my pants and her romper are already covered. It took five seconds.

 

[vintage67]

As a diabetic, the term "corn syrup solids" bothers me as well, and my boy is still on the gentle formulas.

I hope I didn't make you feel bad!

We might have to switch Breanna to a gentle formula, as she had diarrhea 3-4 or more times per day. They told us to call again on Monday because she might just have a virus, but I'm pretty sure it's her formula, as she's been this way since going full on formula with no breastmilk. The amount of laundry I have to do is unbelievable. I even have to wash her bouncy seat because she leaks all over it.

Oh no! I knew the corn syrup was there already! Formula has always caused some hard poops for my little ones, never runny. But all kids are so different!

 

[Frooty]

I felt so bad i tried for 6 weeks but its like he wasn't getting anything i tried expressing but 2 oz was the most i got out of that. I had no milk leaks when i was preg so i dunno if that has anything to do with it? but hes on formula now and healthy so im happy

 

[MrsPOP]

I didnt have any milk leakage either frooty but I only stopped producing completely 2 months ago...boobies are weird things!!!