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The Loss of Breastfeeding - Guilt, Grief & Support Thread
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Evian260
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I gave up BF my first after 10 days mainly because I was miserable and had PPD. Do I regret it? Yes, only because I wanted to badly to go further. But what I do not regret is doing what was best for me at a time when my world was completely upside down. Like some other posters said, I did not enjoy holding, feeding or being near my son because of the depression, and I only felt like he needed me to eat. I had a friend who basically made me feel like a piece of crap for quitting (we are no longer friends), and instead of being concerned for my well being, when she saw me the first time after I quit, she said "is your milk dried up?"
I have gone through so much guilt about quitting but my son is a happy, healthy, thriving 15 month old. I was FF and so were all my sisters, and we all graduated with honors and continued on to get college degrees. Why some women feel the need to berate or put down women who choose to feed their babies differently is beyond me. Yes, breast is best. But it doesn't always work out. And women shouldn't be made to feel inferior because of it. I know that once I got on my antidepressants and switched to formula, my life got SO much better within weeks.
I am currently expecting #2 at end of November and sure, I plan on BF again, but guess what, now I know there are other options, unlike my friend who pressured me into never giving bottles or pumping (she's attachment parenting queen), and even better, I know that if I can't BF, it's NOT the end of the world, and that I'm NOT a bad mom. And screw the people who feel that they have the right to tell you what to do with your kids!
I have gone through so much guilt about quitting but my son is a happy, healthy, thriving 15 month old. I was FF and so were all my sisters, and we all graduated with honors and continued on to get college degrees. Why some women feel the need to berate or put down women who choose to feed their babies differently is beyond me. Yes, breast is best. But it doesn't always work out. And women shouldn't be made to feel inferior because of it. I know that once I got on my antidepressants and switched to formula, my life got SO much better within weeks.
I am currently expecting #2 at end of November and sure, I plan on BF again, but guess what, now I know there are other options, unlike my friend who pressured me into never giving bottles or pumping (she's attachment parenting queen), and even better, I know that if I can't BF, it's NOT the end of the world, and that I'm NOT a bad mom. And screw the people who feel that they have the right to tell you what to do with your kids!
I just wanted to share my experience in this thread, as I think it's great we have a place where we can all support each other. I'm coming to terms with FF now, but when I take the time to think about it for any great length of time the old guilts come back.
When Fin was born, we found BF difficult. He was very fussy around the breast, and although he had a great latch, it would take him ages to establish this and then he would drop off after only minutes of feeding. The woman in the bed across from me was taking to it like a dream. I would hear her telling the nurses how her newborn had been nursing for 20-30 minutes at a feed and that made me feel like crap. They made me stay in an extra day to try and get the BF sorted. Every time I wanted to feed Finlay I would have to buzz for someone to come and watch over me. I remember being completely exhausted and crying my eyes out while I watched a midwife cupfeed him formula just to get something inside him and give me chance to 'try again later'.
Things improved slightly, and we were discharged. Feeding was still very hit and miss. For every successful session, I would get two or three doses of him screaming at me while I tried to offer him the breast. Nursing would often last over an hour and he would only very rarely take the left breast, always favouring the right. I had midwives visiting me every day for the first week, offering 'helpful' hints and tips until I lied and told them everything was going fine just to get them to leave us alone. My partner and I had started arguing (which we had NEVER done before) because he could see how upset I was making myself and how unsettled the baby was. Fin would choke and splutter at every feed, meaning that he also suffered from terrible wind which we always struggled to get up. Coupled with this, I was constantly leaking milk to the point where (even with maternity pads stuffed down my bras) I was having to change at least twice a day. After a bit of research, I diagnosed myself with an oversupply, something which none of the midwives had picked up on. My flow was too fast for Fin to handle, and I was drowning him at every feeding.
By now, he was just over a week old, and I decided to start expressing. At first, this seemed like the answer to my prayers. I was able to fill two 4oz bottles in the space of five minutes and could easily keep up with his demand. He was being bottle-fed, but he was still getting my milk. Unfortunately, things didn't last. At birth, he was 10lb 4oz, and by two weeks old 4oz of milk just wasn't cutting it anymore. I had to up his feeds to 6oz, which was far more difficult to keep up with. It took longer and longer for me to express what he needed, to the point where we were supplementing with formula. By now, my flow had settled down, but had gone too far the other way. While he was now feeding from me, after a nursing he would still be hungry and looking for a bottle to top him up. Gradually, the ratio of my milk to formula decreased.
Fin is now four weeks old and we have been exclusively FF for the last week and a half. I have no idea if the pumping was the cause, but my milk supply just plummeted until there was nothing left. I feel awful when I read your stories that seem so much more traumatic than mine. I wonder if, had I persevered through that period of oversupply without expressing, would I still be BF now? Some of you have gone through heartache for months, looking at every other option before resorting to formula. I only lasted two and a half weeks. I know in my heart that me, my partner and my son are so much happier with each other (despite having to still live in my bedroom at my father's house due to other circumstances- but that is another story!) but I can't help but feel shame for how relatively little I went through before giving up. I look up to you all as great mummies, and I'm sure your LOs do too!
When Fin was born, we found BF difficult. He was very fussy around the breast, and although he had a great latch, it would take him ages to establish this and then he would drop off after only minutes of feeding. The woman in the bed across from me was taking to it like a dream. I would hear her telling the nurses how her newborn had been nursing for 20-30 minutes at a feed and that made me feel like crap. They made me stay in an extra day to try and get the BF sorted. Every time I wanted to feed Finlay I would have to buzz for someone to come and watch over me. I remember being completely exhausted and crying my eyes out while I watched a midwife cupfeed him formula just to get something inside him and give me chance to 'try again later'.
Things improved slightly, and we were discharged. Feeding was still very hit and miss. For every successful session, I would get two or three doses of him screaming at me while I tried to offer him the breast. Nursing would often last over an hour and he would only very rarely take the left breast, always favouring the right. I had midwives visiting me every day for the first week, offering 'helpful' hints and tips until I lied and told them everything was going fine just to get them to leave us alone. My partner and I had started arguing (which we had NEVER done before) because he could see how upset I was making myself and how unsettled the baby was. Fin would choke and splutter at every feed, meaning that he also suffered from terrible wind which we always struggled to get up. Coupled with this, I was constantly leaking milk to the point where (even with maternity pads stuffed down my bras) I was having to change at least twice a day. After a bit of research, I diagnosed myself with an oversupply, something which none of the midwives had picked up on. My flow was too fast for Fin to handle, and I was drowning him at every feeding.
By now, he was just over a week old, and I decided to start expressing. At first, this seemed like the answer to my prayers. I was able to fill two 4oz bottles in the space of five minutes and could easily keep up with his demand. He was being bottle-fed, but he was still getting my milk. Unfortunately, things didn't last. At birth, he was 10lb 4oz, and by two weeks old 4oz of milk just wasn't cutting it anymore. I had to up his feeds to 6oz, which was far more difficult to keep up with. It took longer and longer for me to express what he needed, to the point where we were supplementing with formula. By now, my flow had settled down, but had gone too far the other way. While he was now feeding from me, after a nursing he would still be hungry and looking for a bottle to top him up. Gradually, the ratio of my milk to formula decreased.
Fin is now four weeks old and we have been exclusively FF for the last week and a half. I have no idea if the pumping was the cause, but my milk supply just plummeted until there was nothing left. I feel awful when I read your stories that seem so much more traumatic than mine. I wonder if, had I persevered through that period of oversupply without expressing, would I still be BF now? Some of you have gone through heartache for months, looking at every other option before resorting to formula. I only lasted two and a half weeks. I know in my heart that me, my partner and my son are so much happier with each other (despite having to still live in my bedroom at my father's house due to other circumstances- but that is another story!) but I can't help but feel shame for how relatively little I went through before giving up. I look up to you all as great mummies, and I'm sure your LOs do too!
mrs.amillian
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Thank you so much for posting that! I have been involved in some conversations that I shouldn't have been in and read some thing that I wish hadn't read lately and this is a breath of fresh air!
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Im so glad i found this thread! 
..Hope no one minds me poking my head in here!
I had my baby 15 (nearly 16 days ago) now and managed a good run with breast feeding, Im afraid to admit that i feel like a failure. I managed to get my baby to latch briefly to my boob soon after I had my c-section even though i was so tired and physically drained from being in labour for 32 hours in total i was determined to do it just so i could experience it. And in all honesty it was a nightmare getting him to stay on the boob..OH had to keep re attaching him as i couldn't physically move I was that tired and out of it, after a few minutes he'd let go of my boob and start screaming..
But because i was so tired, and Sebastian wasn't getting enough milk from me he'd wake every 5-10 minutes to feed when i was in the hospital which made me feel even worse..I was that tired i just wanted to be left alone to sleep it off, and he began to get jaundice
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I was left with no choice but to bottle feed him, I managed to breast feed for a day and a half before switching to bottles!..Please tell me im not a failure
..Hope no one minds me poking my head in here!I had my baby 15 (nearly 16 days ago) now and managed a good run with breast feeding, Im afraid to admit that i feel like a failure. I managed to get my baby to latch briefly to my boob soon after I had my c-section even though i was so tired and physically drained from being in labour for 32 hours in total i was determined to do it just so i could experience it. And in all honesty it was a nightmare getting him to stay on the boob..OH had to keep re attaching him as i couldn't physically move I was that tired and out of it, after a few minutes he'd let go of my boob and start screaming..
But because i was so tired, and Sebastian wasn't getting enough milk from me he'd wake every 5-10 minutes to feed when i was in the hospital which made me feel even worse..I was that tired i just wanted to be left alone to sleep it off, and he began to get jaundice
.I was left with no choice but to bottle feed him, I managed to breast feed for a day and a half before switching to bottles!..Please tell me im not a failure
Evian260
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buddysmum you are NOT a failure. I was in labor for 12 hours before I had a c-section and I know the exhaustion of trying to nurse a newborn afterwards (I think I got maybe 6 hours of sleep total over 3-4 days)... massive hugs to you, you're not a failure!
MrsPOP
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Buddysmum you are not a failure. None of us are failures.
As my daughter fast approaches one year and I see how spectacular she is...it gets easier to reconcile with not being able to breastfeed.
I think we are all amazing and should be proud of who we are as mothers.
As my daughter fast approaches one year and I see how spectacular she is...it gets easier to reconcile with not being able to breastfeed.
I think we are all amazing and should be proud of who we are as mothers.
Kage76
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not a failure at all- i think the main thing about FF is that there is no way out- when you are faced with 2 choices - one that has risks of potential issues down the track and one that means that your child IS going to get sick its a heart breaking choice. Your LO would have gotten colostrum and that in itself is of such benefit to your LO - don't beat yourself up
Kage76
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the last thing this thread is is a competition who had the worst start- its just a place to get it off your chest- Just talking about it and admitting how it make us feel has been for me amazing. To also know that what i am feeling is normal is also been of great comfort.
Each one of us has the same feelings of guilt, helplessness and betrayal by our own body- I don't think a woman who tried for a week is less worthy than a woman who tried for months- and just because your milk came in doesn't mean that the stories of low supply are more valid than yours- the feelings are the same.
The other unifying thing that we all carry around like a anvil around our heart is the what ifs. Ask any one of us and we all have it. For me I wonder if I pumped more regularly would my supply gone up? - if she was with me for the first days rather in special care would she have brought in my supply? Should i have insisted on them putting the glucose drip back in so that she could actually learn to breastfeed and not get used to the flow of the bottle?
I feel for you- to know that the milk is actually there and the body is willing but the baby isn't would be heartbreaking.
KendraNoell
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I only tried for 10 days and half of that was topping up with formula. Now looking back I see that I have some major post partum depression and will be making an appointment to see my psychiatrist and change up my meds.
You can go crazy wondering about what-ifs. Don't. For me, it was, what if I just tried a little harder? What if I had a bit more support in terms of my husband helping me do other things so when it was time to feed I wasn't so stressed out of being glued by the boob? What if I would have taken better care of myself so my milk wouldn't have dried up out of stress?
There are women who honestly just hated breastfeeding. There wasn't any particular thing wrong with them physically, they just didn't like it. Those mothers can feel guilt too. Guilt that they're failing their child and should just "suck it up". Had I not hated breast feeding so much its possible that I wouldn't have dried up but I can't look back on that now and I just see how fast he's grown and how awesome he's doing and I know I made the right decision.
An update on me and LO, I think he has a lactose sensitivity. I had to put him on Similac Alimentum which is already partially digested milk proteins so its easier on his stomach. He also has major latching problems but found out its NOT a tongue tie- its simply him sucking too hard because he wants more than the bottle provides. So knowing that, its no wonder he hated the boob, it was too slow, and I even switched him to medium flow nipples a couple weeks ago and its STILL not fast enough. But the fast flows are TOO fast, so we're kind of in between right now. Either way, its nice when you get answers to things, but even if you don't, you're not a failure, so long as your LO is thriving you did the right thing as a mommy
I love Mrs Pop's siggy that says a mother's love comes from her heart, not her breasts. I have used that as my mantra and I have also said it to a couple friends who are also questioning the decision to continue to breast feed.
You can go crazy wondering about what-ifs. Don't. For me, it was, what if I just tried a little harder? What if I had a bit more support in terms of my husband helping me do other things so when it was time to feed I wasn't so stressed out of being glued by the boob? What if I would have taken better care of myself so my milk wouldn't have dried up out of stress?
There are women who honestly just hated breastfeeding. There wasn't any particular thing wrong with them physically, they just didn't like it. Those mothers can feel guilt too. Guilt that they're failing their child and should just "suck it up". Had I not hated breast feeding so much its possible that I wouldn't have dried up but I can't look back on that now and I just see how fast he's grown and how awesome he's doing and I know I made the right decision.
An update on me and LO, I think he has a lactose sensitivity. I had to put him on Similac Alimentum which is already partially digested milk proteins so its easier on his stomach. He also has major latching problems but found out its NOT a tongue tie- its simply him sucking too hard because he wants more than the bottle provides. So knowing that, its no wonder he hated the boob, it was too slow, and I even switched him to medium flow nipples a couple weeks ago and its STILL not fast enough. But the fast flows are TOO fast, so we're kind of in between right now. Either way, its nice when you get answers to things, but even if you don't, you're not a failure, so long as your LO is thriving you did the right thing as a mommy
I love Mrs Pop's siggy that says a mother's love comes from her heart, not her breasts. I have used that as my mantra and I have also said it to a couple friends who are also questioning the decision to continue to breast feed.
Lady_Bee
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I think I'm at the end of my breastfeeding journey now for sure. My already low milk supply is depleting day by day.
I feel almost okay about stopping. Almost.
The first thing was stopping expressing. I haven't pumped for 2 weeks now. Stopping that was a really hard thing to do for some reason! I hated every second I was attached to that pump, but something made me keep doing it. I think it was simply the desperate belief that it would fix my low milk supply as long as I did it frequently enough and for long enough. That wasn't the case and as soon as I realised that, I kind of lost the will to do it. With a bit of coaxing from a lactation consultant (who knows all my struggles and has been supporting me since my LO was born), I left the pumping behind entirely and nursed my baby instead. Since nursing my baby was what I craved all along. Even if it did mean a slow death for my milk supply.
As it turns out though.... not that slow.
I nursed him. Ish. Feeds spaced out enough that he would always get enough milk to be satisfied. Ish. And then he caught a cold and didn't feed well for a few days and that was when I realised it really really was going to disappear for good this time... and it would be gone faster than I expected. And the first thing I thought was, "should I pick up the pumping again?" and as soon as I had the thought I knew I just couldn't. No. More. Pumping. My pumping days are DONE. I don't even want to look at that pump anymore. I'm just going to accept this finally and move on with life.
I'm now down to 2 feeds a day and I can barely satisfy him at those. Soon it'll be just the one. And then at some point I will nurse him for the last time. I'll try not to see it as more than it is.
Motherhood is so much more than that.
I made it to 4 months. Not quite to 5. I don't want to stop, but I do. Some of you know what I mean. I want the relief of stopping, but it feels like giving up. In a bad way.
But it is what it is.
I have nursed him, which was what I wanted. It was nice when it was nice. It was stressful when it was stressful. It was awful when it was awful. That's it really. I think part of my obsession with breastfeeding was the ideal I had built up in my head. I never quite experienced what I thought it SHOULD be.
Sorry for this rather fragmented post! Brain is not with it today. Hope you ladies are all doing ok
I feel almost okay about stopping. Almost.
The first thing was stopping expressing. I haven't pumped for 2 weeks now. Stopping that was a really hard thing to do for some reason! I hated every second I was attached to that pump, but something made me keep doing it. I think it was simply the desperate belief that it would fix my low milk supply as long as I did it frequently enough and for long enough. That wasn't the case and as soon as I realised that, I kind of lost the will to do it. With a bit of coaxing from a lactation consultant (who knows all my struggles and has been supporting me since my LO was born), I left the pumping behind entirely and nursed my baby instead. Since nursing my baby was what I craved all along. Even if it did mean a slow death for my milk supply.
As it turns out though.... not that slow.
I nursed him. Ish. Feeds spaced out enough that he would always get enough milk to be satisfied. Ish. And then he caught a cold and didn't feed well for a few days and that was when I realised it really really was going to disappear for good this time... and it would be gone faster than I expected. And the first thing I thought was, "should I pick up the pumping again?" and as soon as I had the thought I knew I just couldn't. No. More. Pumping. My pumping days are DONE. I don't even want to look at that pump anymore. I'm just going to accept this finally and move on with life.
I'm now down to 2 feeds a day and I can barely satisfy him at those. Soon it'll be just the one. And then at some point I will nurse him for the last time. I'll try not to see it as more than it is.
Motherhood is so much more than that.
I made it to 4 months. Not quite to 5. I don't want to stop, but I do. Some of you know what I mean. I want the relief of stopping, but it feels like giving up. In a bad way.
But it is what it is.
I have nursed him, which was what I wanted. It was nice when it was nice. It was stressful when it was stressful. It was awful when it was awful. That's it really. I think part of my obsession with breastfeeding was the ideal I had built up in my head. I never quite experienced what I thought it SHOULD be.
Sorry for this rather fragmented post!
Brain is not with it today. Hope you ladies are all doing ok
KendraNoell
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I think this sums up how all of us felt at some point...
bumpin2012
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I agree with this...
This is my first post here. I've been quietly reading for a week it so now. Today was the day. I gave up...well, not really. I accepted the inevitable. My son gave up last week. So now I'm ready to stop as well, even though it breaks my heart.
Gabe refused to latch from day 1. I was devastated, but I kept at it. Finally on day 4 we got him to latch using a nipple shield, and he was doing well. Then he started losing weight and I came across a term I had never heard before: comfort sucking. It was then that I realized that this is what he did for 75% of the time spent on the boob. It was why no matter how long I nursed him he never seemed satisfied. Then I realized, my breasts never felt full, never leaked. We started formula top up, but as the weeks went on, he needed more and more formula to make him happy. Finally, last week, he started refusing to latch.
I tried it all, I was taking the higher doses of domperidone, fenugreek andblessed thistle. I used the shield, tried the tubing supplemental system, I pumped after every feed, in between feeds, and religiously every 2 hours when he started refusing. I never increased my supply, and never got him back on the boob. I even took him into the bath tub. I tried every suggestion given to me, no matter how crazy it sounded...including getting my oh to suck on my nipples. I had every professional I could find come and offer an opinion. I did it all...and it still wasn't enough. So now after 7 weeks, I've given in, and stopped it all. I'm heartbroken, and feeling betrayed by my body. This was supposed to be natural, easy something only I could do for my child. Instead it's been the most frustratingly difficult thing I have ever done.
Anyways, sorry for the long past, if your still reading, thanks for hanging in there.
bumpin2012
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Double post
kimini26
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I stopped pumping on the 15th. Emily had her last bottle of breast milk on the 21st. I am finally ok with this and have started on Lithium. I love this thread and am so grateful for it during this difficult time as a mother.
D
dizz
Guest
I took the hint on the pumping front when I burnt the motor out on the breastpump in a fortnight (so a month in all cos we were in hospital a fortnight). I'd gone home pumping in the hope of keeping my supply going so she might latch as she matured somewhat, she'd hit 37 weeks and being classed as "term" and still was showing no signs of having a latch solid enough to be able to feed from it (it was a three sucks and fall off situation - kind of like dealing with an easily-distracted hoover), so when the breast pump broke - I took it as the sign to throw in the towel fully... plus - I was having no time to be her mum - it was a case of feed her, put her down and pray she slept quickly so I could pump, snatch half an hour's sleep myself, do it all again - that wasn't sustainable.
And yes, I sobbed, and I cringe still with shame when I have to get a bottle out and feed her in public and I'm incredibly angry with the hospital for a) an utter lack of support for the parents of preemies (they were showering the "normal" parents with breastfeeding support - they vaguely waved my breasts in the direction of her mouth a couple of times and handed me the breastpump for us) and b) making our time there such a nightmare, hellish experience that I'm still traumatised now - that I had to make that awful choice of potentially another month or so's stay there (hungry, sleep deprived, constantly violated by endless exams that they didn't need to do and were just doing because I was "there" - even though I was only there because of my baby's needs) to try to be able to come home breastfeeding, or to preserve some shreds of my sanity and give in and come home expressing/bottle feeding... I feel endless guilt I made the "easy" choice - but anyone who's seen my birth story will know how hideous that place was - and I'd sat there sobbing, shaking and considering putting her into care so I'd be able to walk away and be free from the ward they had me imprisoned on. If the place hadn't been so hellish, if they weren't logging my every move like a zoo exhibit for amunition to declare me a bad mother to social services, if they didn't have staff who'd shout at women and talk to them like dirt, if they'd just flipping well properly closed cubicle curtains behind them and given me a shred of privacy - things might have been different and I might have been able to stick it out - but also, brutally, financially we could not afford much longer in terms of a hospital stay - the food was utterly inedible (you could have bludgeoned someone to death with what passed for a jacket potato there) so hubby was having to buy me sandwiches from the cafe every meal, the parking costs were crippling us, then you added in stuff like bedside telly (in the end I got my laptop brought in and a mountain of DVDs)... it was a brutal strain on us all.
Don't for a second think I'll ever come to terms with the choice that I made - even knowing it was the right one - mainly because of the breastfeeding guilt steamroller of doom.
And yes, I sobbed, and I cringe still with shame when I have to get a bottle out and feed her in public and I'm incredibly angry with the hospital for a) an utter lack of support for the parents of preemies (they were showering the "normal" parents with breastfeeding support - they vaguely waved my breasts in the direction of her mouth a couple of times and handed me the breastpump for us) and b) making our time there such a nightmare, hellish experience that I'm still traumatised now - that I had to make that awful choice of potentially another month or so's stay there (hungry, sleep deprived, constantly violated by endless exams that they didn't need to do and were just doing because I was "there" - even though I was only there because of my baby's needs) to try to be able to come home breastfeeding, or to preserve some shreds of my sanity and give in and come home expressing/bottle feeding... I feel endless guilt I made the "easy" choice - but anyone who's seen my birth story will know how hideous that place was - and I'd sat there sobbing, shaking and considering putting her into care so I'd be able to walk away and be free from the ward they had me imprisoned on. If the place hadn't been so hellish, if they weren't logging my every move like a zoo exhibit for amunition to declare me a bad mother to social services, if they didn't have staff who'd shout at women and talk to them like dirt, if they'd just flipping well properly closed cubicle curtains behind them and given me a shred of privacy - things might have been different and I might have been able to stick it out - but also, brutally, financially we could not afford much longer in terms of a hospital stay - the food was utterly inedible (you could have bludgeoned someone to death with what passed for a jacket potato there) so hubby was having to buy me sandwiches from the cafe every meal, the parking costs were crippling us, then you added in stuff like bedside telly (in the end I got my laptop brought in and a mountain of DVDs)... it was a brutal strain on us all.
Don't for a second think I'll ever come to terms with the choice that I made - even knowing it was the right one - mainly because of the breastfeeding guilt steamroller of doom.
vintage67
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Big to all the new ladies that are "long time readers, first time posters."
Staying offline is really beneficial. I hate to say that but it's true. Things said on this site have brought back old nightmares occassionally. I still find myself buying formula in "bulk" to avoid making frequent "shameful" purchases.
Because I'm so much older than most of you and have been through failure/lack of sucess breastfeeding with 2 children (stories on page 3), I want to be strong and offer as much support as possible. My older son is a robust 8 year old, who just last week made a painting for me and wrote "I love you mommy" on the top of it. So much for lack of bonding. So I want to be a source of reassurance and support, but I too can get dragged into the quagmire and the internet is usually the start of it. And I'm left feeling stupified that the ramblings of people half my age and less that haven't even given birth yet can raise my blood pressure. In the land of motherhood, everyone is an "expert." At best, someone is an "expert" with their own child and I woud never claim that.
We visited my mother yesterday and one of my greatest pleasures is watching her feed him his bottle. She loves it and so does he. I love watching and seeing how much he's grown. She loves him looking up in her eyes and grabbing her fingers and patting her hands.
I don't need to have my enjoyment of that interrupted by a running dialogue of lazy mothers, low IQ, obesity and cancer risks. And I'm royally pissed when it is. Stay strong everybody.
to all the new ladies that are "long time readers, first time posters."Staying offline is really beneficial. I hate to say that but it's true. Things said on this site have brought back old nightmares occassionally. I still find myself buying formula in "bulk" to avoid making frequent "shameful" purchases.
Because I'm so much older than most of you and have been through failure/lack of sucess breastfeeding with 2 children (stories on page 3), I want to be strong and offer as much support as possible. My older son is a robust 8 year old, who just last week made a painting for me and wrote "I love you mommy" on the top of it. So much for lack of bonding. So I want to be a source of reassurance and support, but I too can get dragged into the quagmire and the internet is usually the start of it. And I'm left feeling stupified that the ramblings of people half my age and less that haven't even given birth yet can raise my blood pressure. In the land of motherhood, everyone is an "expert." At best, someone is an "expert" with their own child and I woud never claim that.
We visited my mother yesterday and one of my greatest pleasures is watching her feed him his bottle. She loves it and so does he. I love watching and seeing how much he's grown. She loves him looking up in her eyes and grabbing her fingers and patting her hands.
I don't need to have my enjoyment of that interrupted by a running dialogue of lazy mothers, low IQ, obesity and cancer risks. And I'm royally pissed when it is. Stay strong everybody.
Missy86
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Hi hun
I thought I would pop in and offer
I had huge guilt after stopping bf after a week with Rhys, but my nipples could not take anymore and we were both a lot happier after we switched. I had stupidly thought that bf was gonna be fine and work straight away when I was pregnant. Ff hadnt even entered my head.
The guilt does get easier with time and I am gonna have another go with Liam but I know if it doesnt work he will be fine just like his big brother
I thought I would pop in and offer
I had huge guilt after stopping bf after a week with Rhys, but my nipples could not take anymore and we were both a lot happier after we switched. I had stupidly thought that bf was gonna be fine and work straight away when I was pregnant. Ff hadnt even entered my head.
The guilt does get easier with time and I am gonna have another go with Liam but I know if it doesnt work he will be fine just like his big brother
