The New Positively Positive Thread of Positivity *13* BFPs!!!

[opera_lady24]

STINAS!!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!! I am SO SO SO SO happy for you!!!!!! BIG HUG!

Appointment today was a little overwhelming. They took blood for tests I've never even heard of, my doctor gave me an ultrasound herself (that was a new experience), my doctor's nurse is a fellow alumna from Vanderbilt (okay that part doesn't matter as much but is still cool) and they're all for being super aggressive...which is probably the part that overwhelmed me a bit. I went in expecting to just talk, like all of my past appointments have gone (you know, all talk, no do) and ended up getting a prescription for both 100mg of Clomid and several vials of Brevelle (trigger shot I think). Anyway today cost me like $550 so we'll see where it all goes. The HSG is supposed to come like cycle 3 or 4 so for now it'll only cost about $500/ month...omgosh! And here I was all green hoping they'd give me at least 50mg of Clomid to start off with lol! At least they don't waste your time or money...they just get right down to business.

As for possibly O'ing, I highly doubt I'm pregnant and I somewhat hope I'm not, just because my due date would now be HIGHLY inconvenient.

Anyway, poor DH...I understood half of the info she was throwing at me, I can only imagine what kind of info overload he was on! lol!

Okay...gotta go...GP please keep us updated!!!

 

[opera_lady24]

Yeah, okay...so I'm kind of terrified. The thought of sticking myself in the stomach with a needle when all they gave me was a sheet of paper explaining how to do it makes me a little bit sick.

That's not why I'm terrified though. I guess I just never expected it would be this hard.

And then what if it actually happens and for some reason I'm just not emotionally ready for it? The appointment just seemed like so much was happening SO fast. I really never expected for them to just get it started. I thought it would be more like developing a relationship first and then going for the gold. And I'm sure that relationship gets built as you go in like 20 times a month for different tests but still.

Is it normal to be feeling this way? It almost all made me want to just stop trying altogether. You'd think after nearly two years of TTC I'd be all for it. Why do I feel this way???

Wantanerd and Stinas, now that you're on the happy end of these things, am I just going crazy or did you feel this way too?

 

[GingerPanda]

I would kinda be there if I hadn't had to wait because of job stuff. So I can only kinda understand the way you're feeling. It's a lot to take in at once! It's like going from 0 to 60 when you were only expecting to get in and buckle your seatbelt. But as a big fan of science, I think them not wanting to drag it out is a good thing. It shows you they're focused on helping you reach your goal of getting pregnant quickly!

 

[Stinas]

Opera - don't even for a second be scared of the belly needles. Omg they are such a piece of cake. You really don't even feel them. Trust me. And don't google because people are dramatic for no reason.
As for being overwhelmed, it's only natural. Be happy they did all that testing and did things for you. That's great!!!
It's all worth it. I now shoot myself in the butt daily with a smile lol

 

[wantanerd]

Opera, I never did the belly shots, I did one HCG shot a month in the thigh and I had my dr's office do it. I was getting ultrasounds every two days so they would catch my follicles at the right time. I HATE NEEDLES, but it was worth every time I got stuck.

The testing started right away but my body decided to have some gnarly cysts on my ovaries that needed to shrink before I could go through most of the testing. I had to wait 5 months before we started everything.
It can be overwhelming. You think everything should be so simple and then you have to go through all the steps to get a baby.

Take a deep breath and think of the ending. It is worth it.

 

[JenzyKY]

Opera, I bet they do everything so fast since its all so expensive and most insurances don't cover things. Shots are no biggie. If you were close by I'd do them for you!

I'm sunning myself today. Me and my bump have to attempt to look ok in a bridesmaid dress in a month. Eek.

 

[Lionchild]

Opera, while I haven't gone to a FS, I can understand your anxiety about things happening quickly, especially since you weren't expecting them to. It does sound promising to have doctors who actually take action. We're here to support you with whatever decision you choose. On a separate note, could you get DH to administer shots for you?

Lately, I too have been questioning TTC—or getting pregnant at least. Do I really want this? I love the life I have now. Is having a baby going to change the awesome relationship that I have with DH in a negative way? Will I be able to manage having a baby and trying to write my dissertation at the same time? I'm amazed by parents. I don't know how they do it. I guess most people feel this way until they become parents. I think that I'm just tired of trying, and it's making me redirect my emotions to a fear of becoming a mother; although, I think I'm most fearful of still being in this same position in another year—still TTC. I really want to do this naturally, and I'm not sure if I will ever go to a FS. I may, or DH and I may decide that adoption is what is best if we are unsuccessful for many years. This is a personal choice, and I don't judge people who are proactive and seek help from a FS early on in the TTC process (or later on in the process). I don't know how the LTTTCs get through it. Anyway, I'm sorry for the rant; I'm a little bummed out today. I think AF is going to show up by tomorrow, and I've had terrible spring allergies for the past 8 days.

Jenzy, enjoy the sunning! I'm glad to hear that the weather is better out your way.

Lots of luck to all you ladies who are actively trying this month! I'm so happy that Stinas finally got us out of this dry spell!

 

[Stinas]

Lionchild - Having a baby should bring you and dh even closer....if it does not, something in your relationship is wrong to begin with. Honestly, all our fertility issues has brought us sooooo much closer, closer than I ever thought we could be. Now that we are finally pregnant, i feel like it will be even more.
After trying for a year, I highly suggest going to a FS or doing test with your doc. It takes off a TON of stress off your shoulders. Trust me. Once you go, you feel soo much better because it opens up a door of options. Regardless of if they are options you imagined yourself going through or not.

 

[Lionchild]

Thanks for the advice, Stinas. I do have a very strong marriage, so I'm not worried about anything terrible or extreme happening to it. It's just that I've just had several people tell me that after they had kids, they didn't have the energy and time to attend to their spouses anymore (they also said this about their pets) . They lost some of the physical and emotional connection they once shared. It just made me sad. I'd like to think that I wouldn't let this happen, but I have no idea what it's like to be a parent.

Anyway, we're getting DH checked out soon. He's never been checked out before.

I'm hesitant to rush off to spend a bunch of money at an FS when I am already fairly confident that I won't take any major fertility medications to help me get pregnant. My former OB-GYN did two ultrasounds in September to look for abnormalities in my reproductive area and found no indication of PCOS, endo, fibroids, cysts, etc. I got pregnant two cycles later. I've had two doctors, my former Ob-Gyn and new one (who I just love!), tell me that they don't think Clomid is a good option for me because I ovulate regularly. And even if they had recommended it, I'm not sure I would take it. My progesterone levels were normal 7 days after O (although my LPs are only 10 days, 11 now with B-complex). I guess I'm just wondering what else an FS would test me for? Would they do a series of hormone tests?

I know I'm not a doctor, but I am convinced that my problem is progesterone. I think my body's progesterone is too low compared to the estrogen, which is the cause of my shorter LP. I've cut out soy, and I have noticed a HUGE difference in my moods. I also no longer have inter-cycle bleeding/spotting. I would be happy to try a prescription of progesterone if the doc recommended it, so maybe a FS would be able to determine whether that is something I need. I think the first step should be getting DH checked out to make sure that everything looks good with him.


Anyway, I'm so happy that you got your BFP after such a long wait! I'm excited to hear if you wind up with twins!

 

[Stinas]

Im sure after becoming a parent, some things change, but I doubt too much relationship wise does. I honestly think some people are dramatic. My one friend told me(before i got married, she got married like 6months before me) that the sex become much less frequent......well, that WAS total BS! Our sex life went through the roof when we got married.....even up until we found out about DH's azoo. Right when he got diagnosed it went down a bit, but went right back up. lol
So I guess you just have to go with the flow.
If you got tested for a lot of things, maybe it is DH....you never know. My FS actually told me its easier when its a male factor rather than a female. I guess its easier to "treat".

 

[Frustrated42]

Opera sorry to hear you are feeling overwhelmed by everything. Hope you feel better soon.
Lionchild I completely understand where you are coming from on not knowing what fertility treatments you would be willing to try.

Right now I am in my tww. I can't help but symptom spot every little thing. I'm really trying to keep my mind off of it. Holding out to test until 14 dpo. Only 5 more days to go lol.

 

[opera_lady24]

Lionchild: about a month after DH and I got married we decided to take a marriage class. It was mainly geared towards engaged couples (we weren't able to take the class before getting married) but it all still applied. The couple who taught the class has been through LOTS with kids from other marriages and so forth (I know that sounds a bit sketchy but at the time of teaching the class they had been married for about 15 years which is highly unusual for second/third marriages) anyway, they said something that just totally blew my mind when it comes to your relationship after kids: "your children are a gift, but you need to remember that your spouse still comes first. Yes kids are super time consuming, but if you lose sight of your relationship in the midst of all the chaos, then the chaos will just take over. Look to your spouse to be that constant. Lean on each other. If you have to, for a time, treat your children as if they're almost guests in your house whom you are graciously welcoming into your home. If they were actually guests and not your children, wouldn't you put your marriage above your guest's needs? It's almost a no brainer."

That totally reversed my thinking on the whole matter of having kids because I grew up with a mother who believed that once you have children, you will no doubt love those children infinitely more than your spouse. Well, it's a wonder I would take advice from her in that area because the man she had my brothers and I with is no longer her husband. She's been successfully married to my step-dad for geez, a while now, but she never had any kids with him. Honestly, I think it's a choice we can make. As women, I think it would be very tempting to love the person we carried more than our spouses, so we have to consciously make the effort to remind ourselves that our husbands made that person too, and certainly tolerated us during the time we were "baking" that person, which ALMOST counts as much as carrying the baby.

I hope this helps. As for the FS, honestly, it sounds like your doctors know what they're doing, and I certainly wouldn't go for something if I felt uncomfortable with the whole idea. I'm personally feeling much better about all of it, after reasoning through all the info in my head it really doesn't seem that overwhelming, just the cost (it's a little bit more than we can handle right now which totally sucks). Yet, it's taken me nearly a year to even come to terms with pursuing fertility treatment, and I'm actually a great candidate for it. I definitely wouldn't pursue Clomid if you ovulate regularly. Having multiples (more than twins) can be dangerous and tricky at the best of times and you'd probably have a high risk for that.

Perhaps you just need to take some time away from it all? Clearly your body is capable of conceiving, and I'm sure losing a baby is horrifically traumatizing. Maybe when you're able to separate your emotions from it all (yes I know, that's like separating the nails from your fingers) you'll be able to relax enough to conceive again.

Either way, we're here to support you.

Thanks everyone else for the kind words. I really needed them. I guess I just have to take this all one day at a time.

Aaaannd...here's your good laugh for the day but first some background. So my mom has been eerily sold on the idea of me going the fertility drug route b/c of the possibility of it improving my overall condition, but apparently she didn't get the memo that it's pregnancy that is what actually has a chance of improving and/or curing PCOS. So today she said the strangest thing: well, you'll have to use condoms while you're on the fertility drugs because you don't want to get pregnant!

 

[GingerPanda]

Aaaannd...here's your good laugh for the day but first some background. So my mom has been eerily sold on the idea of me going the fertility drug route b/c of the possibility of it improving my overall condition, but apparently she didn't get the memo that it's pregnancy that is what actually has a chance of improving and/or curing PCOS. So today she said the strangest thing: well, you'll have to use condoms while you're on the fertility drugs because you don't want to get pregnant!

Wow!

When I told my mom I might have to take Clomid, she just started screaming over and over again that I was going to DEFINITELY have quadruplets, and that I shouldn't do it.

Moms who didn't have trouble getting pregnant say the most... interesting things.

 

[Lionchild]

Opera sorry to hear you are feeling overwhelmed by everything. Hope you feel better soon.
Lionchild I completely understand where you are coming from on not knowing what fertility treatments you would be willing to try.

Right now I am in my tww. I can't help but symptom spot every little thing. I'm really trying to keep my mind off of it. Holding out to test until 14 dpo. Only 5 more days to go lol.

Ahh TWW hell!!! The worst! I hope you find things to keep you occupied until testing time!

Good luck!!

 

[Lionchild]

Aaaannd...here's your good laugh for the day but first some background. So my mom has been eerily sold on the idea of me going the fertility drug route b/c of the possibility of it improving my overall condition, but apparently she didn't get the memo that it's pregnancy that is what actually has a chance of improving and/or curing PCOS. So today she said the strangest thing: well, you'll have to use condoms while you're on the fertility drugs because you don't want to get pregnant!

Wow!

When I told my mom I might have to take Clomid, she just started screaming over and over again that I was going to DEFINITELY have quadruplets, and that I shouldn't do it.

Moms who didn't have trouble getting pregnant say the most... interesting things.

Aw Ginger, three mini-me red-heads just like you. If they are as funny and sarcastic as you are, it sounds awesome! You'd have your hands full for sure! But really, a 10% chance is still low.


My Mom also lectured me on Clomid. She's an all natural kind of gal though. She had all four of us naturally and breast-fed us until we were each like 3.5. My mom got pregnant twice on birth control so she really has no experience with infertility (though she did have 5 miscarriages throughout her fertile years). If I do decide to ever take Clomid, I won't be getting her approval.

 

[Lionchild]

Oh my goodness, Opera! So your mom has no clue you are TTC?! What a hilarious thing to say!

Opera, thank you for sharing that experience about your marriage class. I've always sort of felt that way about marriage and children, but so many mothers I know frequently say (or post memes on Facebook) that suggest you are selfish for putting anything other than your kids first. It seems like it's almost a taboo subject. I've heard successful couples share the sort of advice that the couple who taught your marriage class shared, but I was always afraid that I might be selfish for wanting to put my DH and my relationship above my kids. A big part of being a parent is modeling behavior, so it makes sense that if you put lots of time into your relationship, enjoy each other as you did before you had kids, and model a healthy marriage (one that is actually healthy not just deceptively healthy), then your kids may have a greater chance at have healthy relationships in their adulthood. I feel better! Thanks!

I probably will seek a FS for further testing if we are still trying in 6 months. I'm willing to wait to see if we can do it without any intervention at the moment. Financially, we have student loans to pay off and we just bought a house, so I'm willing to wait a while to see if we can do this without spending large sums of money. I understand your stress about the cost, Opera.


I'm excited for this new step for you in TTC! Hopefully, the FTs will be very effective, and we will see you with your BFP by summer!

 

[Lionchild]

I honestly think some people are dramatic. My one friend told me(before i got married, she got married like 6months before me) that the sex become much less frequent......well, that WAS total BS! Our sex life went through the roof when we got married./QUOTE]


I agree! Our sex life went crazy after marriage (and we'd been together for 5 years already), and even more so after a couple years of marriage. I think some people get so caught up in busy schedules and life that they forget to put time into their relationship.

Thanks for the support. Hopefully, we will have DH checked out in the next month. I'm very curious to know what his status is.

 

[GingerPanda]

Aaaannd...here's your good laugh for the day but first some background. So my mom has been eerily sold on the idea of me going the fertility drug route b/c of the possibility of it improving my overall condition, but apparently she didn't get the memo that it's pregnancy that is what actually has a chance of improving and/or curing PCOS. So today she said the strangest thing: well, you'll have to use condoms while you're on the fertility drugs because you don't want to get pregnant!

Wow!

When I told my mom I might have to take Clomid, she just started screaming over and over again that I was going to DEFINITELY have quadruplets, and that I shouldn't do it.

Moms who didn't have trouble getting pregnant say the most... interesting things.

Aw Ginger, three mini-me red-heads just like you. If they are as funny and sarcastic as you are, it sounds awesome! You'd have your hands full for sure! But really, a 10% chance is still low.


My Mom also lectured me on Clomid. She's an all natural kind of gal though. She had all four of us naturally and breast-fed us until we were each like 3.5. My mom got pregnant twice on birth control so she really has no experience with infertility (though she did have 5 miscarriages throughout her fertile years). If I do decide to ever take Clomid, I won't be getting her approval.

Omg. I would die if I had multiples. I always thought twins would be cool, but now the thought terrifies me!

I don't feel like it's fair for your mother to judge you for seeking fertility assistance. It's easy for some people, and really hard for others. If someone said that to me, I would be hurt.

 

[Lionchild]

I too am terrified of twins and multiples! Three of my grandparents are twins, although two are identical, which isn't inherited.

I don't think my mom means to be judgmental. I think she would probably be on board if the doctors confirmed there was a legitimate reason for me to take it. I think she was just cautioning me about rushing into it without knowing for sure if there was something wrong. I like to think most of the time people mean well (or at least friends and family) when giving TTC advice, even if what they say makes you want to scream. I try to tell myself, it's OK, they have no idea what it's like, and they think they're being helpful. I will just smile and nod. That why we have BnB and this thread. We can actually talk about TTC with people who are sharing similar experiences. I've stopped talking to anyone else other than my DH about it (and ya'll of course).

 

[GingerPanda]

Yeah, after my mom went to another relative for PCOS advice when I explicitly told her that TTC was to be 100% secret, I told her I wouldn't be talking to her about it anymore since I couldn't trust her to keep her mouth shut. I understand that she was trying to help, but seeking advice from someone who was never able to conceive is... not as appealing to me as advice from my doctor. It's kinda what I pay him for.

Didn't want to tell her in the first place, but when I realized we had problems, I needed someone to vent to that I know IRL.