Ok, so I wanted to see the same OB as last week cause we have 4 that see everyone, but the one from last week said we'd do an ultrasound to check fluid level and talk induction due to my Gestational Diabetes cause I mentioned my numbers are getting worse.
So my husband goes with me, and they tell me she's not there. (BOO!! But I think she's about 7 months pregnant, so I was like, ok...maybe she's not feeling well) they asked if I would mind seeing another OB (one of the other 2 females) I was like that's fine. She's my least favorite, but I didn't mind. Well, then we get in the room and they send in the only male OB. I didn't have that much of a problem with it, though since I've been getting internals I've purposely scheduled with the girls. I've never had an internal done by a guy. Well my husband was so upset and uncomfortable about there being the guy. The guy wanted to do an internal since I was almost a week overdue, so we did one. He was the roughest of the 4 OBs and it really hurt. But not only am I worrying about how much it hurts, how weird it is that a guy is down there, I have to worry about my husband who is quiet and PISSED. So they measure my tummy listen to James' heart and then get this, no ultrasound, no induction date, just a see you next week. Didn't ask about my blood sugar (which is out of control - and I meant to mention it but see above, I was a little scatterbrained as I didn't expect to be told I'd be bounced around between doctors). See you next week. WTF? I'll be 12 days overdue then, and THEN we'll talk induction? I want this baby out now. I was SOOOO depressed, they were rushing me and didn't really address my concerns, they just needed to see their patients and the other doctor's patients.
Then we come home and my husband is ranting and raving about how the appointment was pointless (remember I had him take time off of work and go in early so he could join me). And how he should just get over me being examined by a male doctor but he didn't like it. And basically how it was a waste of time and how disappointed he is. Seriously? How disappointed HE is? I'm the one that's uncomfortable!
So I went and took a nap, most of which was spent crying (damn pregnancy hormones mixed with frustration and disappointment). After my nap my husband apologized half ass first, and then later gave me a really nice apology saying that he knew he made the appointment worse and he shouldn't have, and that he knows it's worse for me and that he knows I just want to be done now, and he doesn't blame me for wanting to be done. He's seriously made the last two appointments he went with me worse, I don't think I want him to go with me anymore. He's usually my rock, but apparently he's an asshole in a doctor's office.
So after like a 1.5 hour nap/crying my husband tells me I need to call back my mom now. (I was supposed to call after the appointment, but didn't feel up to it, see above, so I told my husband to tell her I'd call her later when she called. Well, he felt I had napped enough and let my mother wait long enough so I should call her). So I call my mom back and she lectures me about how she waited by the phone and didn't even go the bathroom and how inconsiderate of me basically. She was like are you depressed, and I said yes, and she was like oh, well, you still should have called me. So I told her I had an appt the next week and I was sad. She had a terrible induction experience, so she's like it's really best that you just go into labor naturally, and it's best that they just leave you to it. And you know your brother was overdue. But you know what? She had a very easy going pregnancy and felt great. Whereas I have had a much more complicated pregnancy and at almost a week overdue I'm done! I've been really good! Especially with the whole Gestational Diabetes thing, and worrying about if he's ok (he still has to have an ultrasound after he's born to see if his liver is ok). I'm DONE! She was drinking champane and dancing at New Year's when my brother was overdue. Trust me, that's not how I feel. So after I got her off the phone I cried and napped more, cause really, that's not what I needed.
So, basically I feel defeated and depressed. And I don't want to hear he'll come when he's ready. I want to hear he'll come on his own right away, like tomorrow, even if it isn't true. Tell me stories about how women were told it'd be another week and then 2 days later labor! Did I mention that my cervix is CLOSED and FIRM? Seriously? Last week I was a fingertip dilated, now it's closed? I'm going backwards and have made NO progress?! I know a week doesn't seem like that long, but I've been waiting 9 months!! I've paid my dues. Honestly I think I would feel better had they kept me. I was ready to go with bags in the car. Rant over. Thanks for reading.
Weird! I'll ask today if I remember! I'm so much more worried about being induced. 
so far. Had an extremely vivid dream last night that I woke up in the AM with blood on the sheets (TMI), and that AF had shown. When I did wake up, I had a little bit of very low pelvic cramping, enough that I knew it was there. Checking TP like I work for friggin' Charmin'. So far.....FX'd!! My secretary is convinced my brain is trying to convince me that I'm not going to get that :BFP: so that when it happens it'll be even more of a surprise. Interesting thought. I just think I'm so anxious about it, my brain doesn't know when to quit.
Thanks for the love! 
I have 8 this weekend.
girls. Thought so. So onto cycle number two, whenever AF decides to show.
soon....
