The Tucker's Adoption Journey
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dreamofabean
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Oh no!when will they visit?
Ours didn't go quite to plan either! Her social worker was called to an emergency was just family finder. Sw is going to arrange to come out after our hol (we go away Saturday for a week).
We got to see photos and a dvd and omg she's delightful! We still need some answers though so need that info from Sw.
Ours didn't go quite to plan either! Her social worker was called to an emergency was just family finder. Sw is going to arrange to come out after our hol (we go away Saturday for a week).
We got to see photos and a dvd and omg she's delightful! We still need some answers though so need that info from Sw.
They haven't said when, just that they felt they had the time to delay tomorrows meeting so that both family finders and lo's SW could be present (one couldn't make it tomorrow).
I emailed back and asked for an alternative date.
Wouldn't it be nice if these things were a bit more straight forward.
I emailed back and asked for an alternative date.
Wouldn't it be nice if these things were a bit more straight forward.
dreamofabean
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Yup.. Welcome to the world of adoption Hun! 
Ah that's annoying about the delay hun but I'm sure something will get sorted soon.
Dream - how amazing you got to see a DVD! I bet it's so hard to keep level headed! I know we will have similar worries (when we eventually get to this point) as the impact on our son will be huge either way!
Dream - how amazing you got to see a DVD! I bet it's so hard to keep level headed! I know we will have similar worries (when we eventually get to this point) as the impact on our son will be huge either way!
RANT ALERT
I emailed asking for a new date for what should have been today and was told the relevant people will be in touch when they have "checked their diaries".
I then asked if we had a definite panel date yet and was told that although we are on reserve for September in order to get LO home before her birthday, it is looking unlikely as there re no places. This means panel will be mid October now. I know it doesn't seem long but now there is a child in the picture it seems forever and even worse because we will miss her first birthday by just 2 weeks. I am gutted. They have said to us since day one that a match would always take priority over an approval and people would be bumped for a match to take place so I am wondering why they are not doing the same here considering how keen they were to get her home before her 1st birthday. I know they have a SW leaving and are pushing through alot of her cases - DH is livid about this as he feels they are putting her needs above the child's.
I am really struggling to keep explaining time scales to our birth son and work have got someone starting to replace me september/october whether am still there or not and keep pressuring me for a date.
The frustration is overwhelming today.
I emailed asking for a new date for what should have been today and was told the relevant people will be in touch when they have "checked their diaries".
I then asked if we had a definite panel date yet and was told that although we are on reserve for September in order to get LO home before her birthday, it is looking unlikely as there re no places. This means panel will be mid October now. I know it doesn't seem long but now there is a child in the picture it seems forever and even worse because we will miss her first birthday by just 2 weeks. I am gutted. They have said to us since day one that a match would always take priority over an approval and people would be bumped for a match to take place so I am wondering why they are not doing the same here considering how keen they were to get her home before her 1st birthday. I know they have a SW leaving and are pushing through alot of her cases - DH is livid about this as he feels they are putting her needs above the child's.
I am really struggling to keep explaining time scales to our birth son and work have got someone starting to replace me september/october whether am still there or not and keep pressuring me for a date.
The frustration is overwhelming today.
dreamofabean
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Thanks Hun. Yeah it's lovely to see a dvd and get a feel for the little one!
Ah missk how frustrating! We had similar with our son. We had lots of court delays and it was looking like he'd spend his first Xmas in fc. It's heartbreaking as you just want them with you. Eventually they put a special match panel on just for us as we stamped our feet and so did our Sw. Keep pushing as that's a memory you will cherish forever and if there's any chance she can be home, she needs to be!!! Xxx
Ah missk how frustrating! We had similar with our son. We had lots of court delays and it was looking like he'd spend his first Xmas in fc. It's heartbreaking as you just want them with you. Eventually they put a special match panel on just for us as we stamped our feet and so did our Sw. Keep pushing as that's a memory you will cherish forever and if there's any chance she can be home, she needs to be!!! Xxx
Did you make a complaint?
DH wants to complain but I don't know if we should. I am upset enough to be in tears about it and I know they can put extra panels on - which is what we were told may be happening to accommodate this SW leaving but they seem to have decided otherwise.
DH wants to complain but I don't know if we should. I am upset enough to be in tears about it and I know they can put extra panels on - which is what we were told may be happening to accommodate this SW leaving but they seem to have decided otherwise.
dreamofabean
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We didn't complain as our Sw really fought our corner and pushed her bosses so we didn't need to.
I hate this part of the process, it's horrendous not knowing time scales and having your fate held in the hands of others
I hate this part of the process, it's horrendous not knowing time scales and having your fate held in the hands of others
It doesnt look like our SW will be doing the same. I may email and let them know how I feel though as I have been very accepting of every change so maybe it is time they knew how we felt.
I am really upset about her birthday. It happens to be the same day as mine and I am struggling with the idea of celebrating my birthday knowing she is celebrating hers in care.
I don't want to sit back and accept this knowing that they have the means to add a panel to accommodate those who are not part of this leaving SW caseload. I also don't want to rock the boat though.
I am really upset about her birthday. It happens to be the same day as mine and I am struggling with the idea of celebrating my birthday knowing she is celebrating hers in care.
I don't want to sit back and accept this knowing that they have the means to add a panel to accommodate those who are not part of this leaving SW caseload. I also don't want to rock the boat though.
dreamofabean
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You don't have to moan and have a tantrum.
Just put it very clearly that you aren't happy and cannot comprehend the reasons why a child would be allowed to spend her first birthday in care when she has a loving family who desperately want her home.
Just put it very clearly that you aren't happy and cannot comprehend the reasons why a child would be allowed to spend her first birthday in care when she has a loving family who desperately want her home.
dreamofabean
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Thats exactly what this place is for Hun! Really hope things work out well for you X
dreamofabean
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We have made the difficult decision to not proceed with the match. Oh had reservations that he just couldn't move past. I'm pretty devastated but I know we have to do what is right by us all X
We decided to email and complain about the delay and basically got an email back saying they have funding that ends soon as well as the sw that is leaving and that they are priority.
They said we can speak to the team manager if we want and we are considering it but don't want to push our luck. They don't seem to like it when people over care about things.
We are seeing them with Lo's SW next week so will play on emotions then and see what happens. Maybe they will have news maybe not. Not sure what else we can do.
They said we can speak to the team manager if we want and we are considering it but don't want to push our luck. They don't seem to like it when people over care about things.
We are seeing them with Lo's SW next week so will play on emotions then and see what happens. Maybe they will have news maybe not. Not sure what else we can do.
dreamofabean
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It's so tough isn't it?!
Hopefully you'll get some news next week!
Well things have been up and down here. I was devastated when oh said that the lo wasn't right. I knew it was a mistake as she's perfect. He called our Sw and I cried for pretty much 24 hours flat. Just knew it was wrong. Fast forward 36 hours when he realized too. Bloody men!!!
We put in a desperate call to our Sw on Monday and explained he'd just had a wobble and that lo was perfect and we very much wanted to be her parents. Yesterday was our wedding anniversary and we got the best present, an email to say lo's Sw will come out to meet us on 23rd
we've already met the family finder but the Sw was called away on an emergency. Really hoping the Sw hasn't taken against us because of oh stupidity
So yeah... We're hopefully back on track with the little lady! We're at the seaside at the moment and yesterday our son was playing with a little girl at the shoreline. She was 18 months (our potential lo would be 17/18m at placement) and it was adorable. He just loved the interaction. It left me with no doubt in my mind that it's the right decision for our family
Hopefully you'll get some news next week!
Well things have been up and down here. I was devastated when oh said that the lo wasn't right. I knew it was a mistake as she's perfect. He called our Sw and I cried for pretty much 24 hours flat. Just knew it was wrong. Fast forward 36 hours when he realized too. Bloody men!!!
We put in a desperate call to our Sw on Monday and explained he'd just had a wobble and that lo was perfect and we very much wanted to be her parents. Yesterday was our wedding anniversary and we got the best present, an email to say lo's Sw will come out to meet us on 23rd
we've already met the family finder but the Sw was called away on an emergency. Really hoping the Sw hasn't taken against us because of oh stupidity So yeah... We're hopefully back on track with the little lady! We're at the seaside at the moment and yesterday our son was playing with a little girl at the shoreline. She was 18 months (our potential lo would be 17/18m at placement) and it was adorable. He just loved the interaction. It left me with no doubt in my mind that it's the right decision for our family
dreamofabean
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Thanks Hun. Could have cheerfully strung him up! Lol
We got there in the end though just hoping meeting with Sw goes ok and she liked us! X
We got there in the end though
just hoping meeting with Sw goes ok and she liked us! XSimilar threads
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