Things I cannot say out loud....

[Ozzieshunni]

I try to compliment my DH every time he dresses nice. Actually compliment is putting it a bit lightly It encourages him to dress nice more often, lol!

 

[Kalah]

To my chest: Stop fking hurting! Seriously why are you sore ALL the time I can't even move without hurting!

To my knees: What is wrong with you, why are you so weak?! I can't even get up off the couch while holding Kili because it's too much weight and you either give out or hurt so bad I have to sit back down!

To my back: Stop hurting all the time!!

To the rest of my body: Stop hurting all the time! What is wrong with me why am I always in so much pain I'm sick of this =(

 

[Odd Socks]

to bella,

why do you have to insist on having all the kidney beans in all our portions of chilli? next time i make some, i'm double up on the amount of kidney beans i put in there to keep you happy.

but honestly, you're going to turn into one giant, bella shaped kidney bean.

xx

 

[MrsPOP]

Dear DH best friend, how kind of you to fit us in on your visit back home from Europe. I know you are busy with going to the football match and shopping. I'm sorry it's inconvienient that we would like you to give us an expected time of arrival for your grand visit so we can organise ourselves, LOs feeds and our house.

I'm sorry you're all pissed because your best friends have all settled
down, married and are either pregnant or have had kids. Stop getting all pissy saying 'you've all grown apart', firstly YOU'RE the one who fucked off to a different country and barely bother to keep in touch and secondly, all your friends are in their early 30s...it's what people do when they are in loving long term relationships. Settling down in kinda the normal thing to do. I know you think I'm some bossy harridan who's forced DH into marriage and kids but newsflash - he wanted that just as much as me and we're HAPPY.

You, you shag around and cheat on your numerous girlfriends and spend every night of your life in the pub or on your xbox. If you were 23 then yeah, I get it. But you're 33! You're not the hot stud you think you are, I bet the teenagers in the pub laugh behind your back because you're balding, wrinkly, excessively hairy and sweaty.

Oh and I know you'll be pissed off because DH didn't go out partying last night with you. He's got a 4 week old baby, he wants to be home with her and his wife out of choice. I did tell him to go out and have some fun but he didn't want to.

Oh and another thing, if your skanky ******* ugly girlfriend with a mustache starts perving at my DH like she did last time I will smear one of Alice's pooey nappies in her face. DOG. She got with you when you were with someone else, dirty moo. Such a Mans Girl, she always ignores me or sneers at me. Jealous ho.

Dear DHs friend's weird girlfriend who I've met just once - I looked over the fact you felt it was Appropriate to Facebook me asking if you thought your boyf's sister had had a miscarriage. Now I find out you've been constantly talking about me to mutual friends and have my bump pictures I posted on Facebook saved to your phone! I've met you ONCE! You psycho!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Kalah]

to bella,

why do you have to insist on having all the kidney beans in all our portions of chilli? next time i make some, i'm double up on the amount of kidney beans i put in there to keep you happy.

but honestly, you're going to turn into one giant, bella shaped kidney bean.

xx

Kili LOVES kidney beans too! I just heat them in a pan and give them to her plain, maybe try that? I hate that the skins come out in poo though it creeps me out!

 

[Kalah]

Dear DH best friend, how kind of you to fit us in on your visit back home from Europe. I know you are busy with going to the football match and shopping. I'm sorry it's inconvienient that we would like you to give us an expected time of arrival for your grand visit so we can organise ourselves, LOs feeds and our house.

I'm sorry you're all pissed because your best friends have all settled
down, married and are either pregnant or have had kids. Stop getting all pissy saying 'you've all grown apart', firstly YOU'RE the one who fucked off to a different country and barely bother to keep in touch and secondly, all your friends are in their early 30s...it's what people do when they are in loving long term relationships. Settling down in kinda the normal thing to do. I know you think I'm some bossy harridan who's forced DH into marriage and kids but newsflash - he wanted that just as much as me and we're HAPPY.

You, you shag around and cheat on your numerous girlfriends and spend every night of your life in the pub or on your xbox. If you were 23 then yeah, I get it. But you're 33! You're not the hot stud you think you are, I bet the teenagers in the pub laugh behind your back because you're balding, wrinkly, excessively hairy and sweaty.

Oh and I know you'll be pissed off because DH didn't go out partying last night with you. He's got a 4 week old baby, he wants to be home with her and his wife out of choice. I did tell him to go out and have some fun but he didn't want to.

Oh and another thing, if your skanky ******* ugly girlfriend with a mustache starts perving at my DH like she did last time I will smear one of Alice's pooey nappies in her face. DOG. She got with you when you were with someone else, dirty moo. Such a Mans Girl, she always ignores me or sneers at me. Jealous ho.

Dear DHs friend's weird girlfriend who I've met just once - I looked over the fact you felt it was Appropriate to Facebook me asking if you thought your boyf's sister had had a miscarriage. Now I find out you've been constantly talking about me to mutual friends and have my bump pictures I posted on Facebook saved to your phone! I've met you ONCE! You psycho!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Weird!

 

[Babushka99]

That is seriously weird!

 

[cowboys angel]

Umm...creepy...

 

[Scarlett316]

How odd???

 

[Kalah]

I think she's .....

https://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Rd27GG_0AJU/SwGQiWtzPvI/AAAAAAAAEBI/zUNJWRr9AVk/s400/BATSHIT%20CRAZY.jpg

 

[MrsPOP]

She is DEFINATELY a Mental of The Batshit Variety!

They've come round for a visit today and she was talking about my photos and she knew which one was taken at which week of gestation and what outfit I was wearing at the time...FREAKY!!!

 

[Lauki]

EEK! I'd be well freaked out!

 

[Kalah]

She is DEFINATELY a Mental of The Batshit Variety!

They've come round for a visit today and she was talking about my photos and she knew which one was taken at which week of gestation and what outfit I was wearing at the time...FREAKY!!!

Oh wow, you probably don't even remember what you were wearing in the pictures, I know I don't! Sounds like you've got yourself a stalker!

 

[MrsPOP]

Oh and DH's best friend's GF was here too (the one who fancies my DH) and I was sitting there all smug because I'm 4 weeks post partum and although I'm ginormous (probably UK size 18, was a 14 pre preg) and have jelly belly issues etc, I'm still 10 times hotter than she is with her fat ass, thunder thighs and treble chin because I've had a gorgeous baby and she just had too many pies

Wanted to punch her though, sitting there with her miserable snooty face going on about how she never wants kids and 'never saw it as a goal in life'. I don't judge people who dobt want kiddies as I know it isn't for everyone, but I certainly don't like being judged for having a kid. Yeah I may no longer be able to jet set on fancy holidays, buy designer clothes, have the latest phone or whatever but I own my own house, have a great career, a loving marriage with my soulmate and best of all we have a beautiful daughter who has brought us so much joy already.

She might sneer at me because Im sitting her covered in baby vom and exhausted from a sleepless night...but I wouldn't change it for the world. I feel sorry for her that she looks at having children so negatively, because she's missing out on the best thing life has to bring.

 

[Lauki]

She might sneer at me because Im sitting her covered in baby vom and exhausted from a sleepless night...but I wouldn't change it for the world. I feel sorry for her that she looks at having children so negatively, because she's missing out on the best thing life has to bring.

Totally agree ! The smiles and coo's and gurgles and happy moments make you forget about the harder moments in an instant! Being able to take care of a child and love it to bits is one of the most rewarding things in life!

 

[Kalah]

She might sneer at me because Im sitting her covered in baby vom and exhausted from a sleepless night...but I wouldn't change it for the world. I feel sorry for her that she looks at having children so negatively, because she's missing out on the best thing life has to bring.

Totally agree ! The smiles and coo's and gurgles and happy moments make you forget about the harder moments in an instant! Being able to take care of a child and love it to bits is one of the most rewarding things in life!

That's so true!

I used to always be the type who said I'd never want kids, I was just too selfish to believe I could actually put another person before myself (horrible I know). But now that I've got one I am SO glad to have her! I probably never would have had her by choice so it was kind of a blessing in disguise =)

 

[divadexie]

Dear person I used to consider one of my best friends. I cannot even remember the last time I saw you. I don't remember since my 21st if I actually have seen you since and now I am 26. Butof course, when you come home to visit your mum your new available for getting pissed friends are more important than stopping in ON YOUR WAY PAST my town for a visit. I am not lugging my children to wherever you live miles away so you can go out clubbing. At least my other best friend from school actually comes to see me when she is in the area and doesn't just say ''oh il defo come and see you'' and the next thing your FB status is stating that you are back at home


To OH's friend you are BANNED from sleeping over again! thanks for putting the bed away but did you really have to get up half hour after OH left for work and sit watching tv for 2 hours while I tidied up and repeated that I was going to go for a shower and then had shopping to do? Really?! I had to go upstairs and phone OH to pretend his lighter had run out and needed a new one just to get you to leave! Grrrrrrrrr.


To my period- it has been a MONTH AND A HALF! piss off. Getting the implant was supposed to LET me have sex, not stop it!!!!



To stupid people - yes I have 3 dogs SO WHAT?! they arent going to eat the children. they do not have worms or diseases, they are also my babies.


Oh and to the interfering person on the bus last week. LO was perfectly fine in her buggy, yeah she was grubling, because she was tired! no I am not going to take her out and play with her while on transport, Im not going to get her out and play with her in the million car journeys we do nor am I going to be able to play with her in the car when I am driving- that is what toys and her mirror are for! I don't care if a bus is not a car. My son was never allowed to climb all over on the bus/train like these horrible brats you see running up and down the bus while it is moving, irritating people and basically having their lives risked because their parent found it easier than letting the child amuse it self safely.

 

[Paxton]

I must get in on this...

DH - I love you, very very much. But for goodness sake, you're a genius AND you've been changing diapers for 2 years, I'd think by now you'd learn how to put them on right and not halfway off their bums!

Dad - I'm not a little kid, Im not a little kid, I'm not a little kid! I can take care of myself, I don't screw up all the time, and the stupid house is not pristine because I have a toddler and a baby too look after. AND your house was even worse when you had little kids so hypocrite much?

Sister - It may seem easy, but looking after a 6 month old and a 2 year old is not "No big deal", so take the long jump off of that 'I'm-better-than-you' soapbox. If you demean what I do, one more time, then I will put green hair dye in your shampoo bottle.

Brother - You are not as cool as you think you are. And damnit all, a 20 second clip of a doodled character running in circles on fire is NOT a cartoon! It's a sketch, at best.

SIL - Just because you're jealous I have kids and you don't, doesn't mean you have to be a beech to me >.<;

Gram - Just because we already have kids doesn't mean we don't need a honeymoon. The only reason we havent married yet is cause we cant afford it.

DS1 - I love you, my little Squeak. I don't even care that you puked icecream all down my back. Twice.

DS2 - I love you, Squish. Please sleep through the night. Pleeeeease?

Kitty - You ham. Stop yowling in the middle of the night.

Neighbors - STOP WAKING UP MY BABY!! If I catch you screaming outside my bedroom freaking window at 2:30am one more time, I swear to goodness I am going to buy a water gun and shoot you through the window screen until you go away.

The People In The Apartment Through the Wall - Having sex in the hallway outside our doors and coming home drunk before the sun comes up, is not cool. Stop, for the love of God. STOP.

 

[runnergrl]

^^^LOL^^ especially at the neighbore... how freaking rude. I like the watergun idea. do it!

 

[MrsPOP]

^^^^ I totally hear you on the neighbours. Other night mine were screaming and singing with the windows wide open at midnight. So rude, they know we have a newborn baby in the house! And it was too hot for us to shut our windows. Lucky that DD sleeps through any kind of noise but it's the principle. DH was putting on his pants to go round and tell them to STFU but they stopped, otherwise they would have gotten a smack. A holes.