Things I cannot say out loud....

[Kalah]

Dear person I used to consider one of my best friends. I cannot even remember the last time I saw you. I don't remember since my 21st if I actually have seen you since and now I am 26. Butof course, when you come home to visit your mum your new available for getting pissed friends are more important than stopping in ON YOUR WAY PAST my town for a visit. I am not lugging my children to wherever you live miles away so you can go out clubbing. At least my other best friend from school actually comes to see me when she is in the area and doesn't just say ''oh il defo come and see you'' and the next thing your FB status is stating that you are back at home


To OH's friend you are BANNED from sleeping over again! thanks for putting the bed away but did you really have to get up half hour after OH left for work and sit watching tv for 2 hours while I tidied up and repeated that I was going to go for a shower and then had shopping to do? Really?! I had to go upstairs and phone OH to pretend his lighter had run out and needed a new one just to get you to leave! Grrrrrrrrr.


To my period- it has been a MONTH AND A HALF! piss off. Getting the implant was supposed to LET me have sex, not stop it!!!!



To stupid people - yes I have 3 dogs SO WHAT?! they arent going to eat the children. they do not have worms or diseases, they are also my babies.


Oh and to the interfering person on the bus last week. LO was perfectly fine in her buggy, yeah she was grubling, because she was tired! no I am not going to take her out and play with her while on transport, Im not going to get her out and play with her in the million car journeys we do nor am I going to be able to play with her in the car when I am driving- that is what toys and her mirror are for! I don't care if a bus is not a car. My son was never allowed to climb all over on the bus/train like these horrible brats you see running up and down the bus while it is moving, irritating people and basically having their lives risked because their parent found it easier than letting the child amuse it self safely.

I'd be happy to swap with you! I only just had my first real period since LO was born, and it only lasted 3 days! That was my excuse to turn down sex I need it to last longer

 

[Kalah]

I must get in on this...

DH - I love you, very very much. But for goodness sake, you're a genius AND you've been changing diapers for 2 years, I'd think by now you'd learn how to put them on right and not halfway off their bums!

Dad - I'm not a little kid, Im not a little kid, I'm not a little kid! I can take care of myself, I don't screw up all the time, and the stupid house is not pristine because I have a toddler and a baby too look after. AND your house was even worse when you had little kids so hypocrite much?

Sister - It may seem easy, but looking after a 6 month old and a 2 year old is not "No big deal", so take the long jump off of that 'I'm-better-than-you' soapbox. If you demean what I do, one more time, then I will put green hair dye in your shampoo bottle.

Brother - You are not as cool as you think you are. And damnit all, a 20 second clip of a doodled character running in circles on fire is NOT a cartoon! It's a sketch, at best.

SIL - Just because you're jealous I have kids and you don't, doesn't mean you have to be a beech to me >.<;

Gram - Just because we already have kids doesn't mean we don't need a honeymoon. The only reason we havent married yet is cause we cant afford it.

DS1 - I love you, my little Squeak. I don't even care that you puked icecream all down my back. Twice.

DS2 - I love you, Squish. Please sleep through the night. Pleeeeease?

Kitty - You ham. Stop yowling in the middle of the night.

Neighbors - STOP WAKING UP MY BABY!! If I catch you screaming outside my bedroom freaking window at 2:30am one more time, I swear to goodness I am going to buy a water gun and shoot you through the window screen until you go away.

The People In The Apartment Through the Wall - Having sex in the hallway outside our doors and coming home drunk before the sun comes up, is not cool. Stop, for the love of God. STOP.

Maybe use that watergun on the people having sex in the hallway! Isn't that illegal, since it's in a public place and all?!

I think I got lucky I live on a short street, both my neighbours and quiet old pensioners and the two bungalows across the street just have nurses who look after children in wheelchairs, and the end of the street just leads to a big empty field!

 

[divadexie]

To the HV - IN YOUR FACE, that's right here are 101 pics of Anna SITTING UP, BY HERSELF now fuck off.

 

[Kalah]

to OH: When I say "I'm not in the mood for sex" that doesn't mean "Keep trying and maybe after 10 minutes of bugging me about it I'll want sex".

and for god's sake take a BATH and BRUSH YOUR TEETH!
One of these days I'm going to fill the bath for you, trick you into coming into the bathroom, then push you in it.

 

[Odd Socks]

to bella,

why do you have to insist on having all the kidney beans in all our portions of chilli? next time i make some, i'm double up on the amount of kidney beans i put in there to keep you happy.

but honestly, you're going to turn into one giant, bella shaped kidney bean.

xx

Kili LOVES kidney beans too! I just heat them in a pan and give them to her plain, maybe try that? I hate that the skins come out in poo though it creeps me out!

they're such funny creatures! i did think of just giving bella kidney beans on their own. or with peas & sweetcorn, because she loves them too! the other week, she ate so many kidney beans she just did a poo full of them!

xx

 

[Odd Socks]

Dear FIL,

I'm sorry having to spend a few hours a couple of days a week for a few weeks with your (currently) only grandchild is going to be such a chore. You know, we only asked you guys because we're screwed childcare wise.

& I'm sorry you feel you "can't be dealing with her feeding herself every meal time & will just spoonfeed her". If you dare fucking upset her then you'll never see either of your grandchildren again. Who are you kidding, you barely even brought up your own children. I hope you spend those hours sleeping so MIL can spend the time with her. You put her down, day in, day out, but she's worth a million of you. I'd trust her to look after my daughter any day of the week, it's you that's the problem.

Knob.

 

[Odd Socks]

to OH: When I say "I'm not in the mood for sex" that doesn't mean "Keep trying and maybe after 10 minutes of bugging me about it I'll want sex".

and for god's sake take a BATH and BRUSH YOUR TEETH!
One of these days I'm going to fill the bath for you, trick you into coming into the bathroom, then push you in it.

Haha! I've had this not being in the mood a lot (being too tired, being irked at OH when he's being a lazy bugger, etc), & if I tell OH, he'll say, "well you don't have to do anything".

That's great, but just let me sleep instead!

xx

 

[Lettuce]

To the huge fat girl in the street today wearing hot pants:
Just cos it's available in your size doesn't mean you should be wearing it.... xx

 

[pinklightbulb]

OH: Stop taking your shit out on me! I'm serious!!!!!! You wonder why I don't want to sit in your computer room with you when you're making stupid swipes at me every time you open your mouth because you had a shit day. Get over yourself. I understand things haven't gone your way lately. But you don't see me treating you like disposable shit every time something goes to hell for me. Take note!!!!

 

[tommyg]

Other BnBers why does this thread go so fast - I've only read up to page 53?

Random person on boat please do not touch my baby even if it is to "tuck his hand in" if he was cold he would let me know.

Boat operators please do not lock the disabled loo / baby change.

Other people on boat please return the key to the disable loo / baby change.

Sorry to everybody else on board but I wouldn't normally change my baby in a tea room but the other option was out side in the cold and I wasn't going to strip him off in the cold.

 

[MissFox]

Old guy at the wedding on Saturday: Why are you stalking me and my baby. I get it. She's beautiful. But really?? Stop hunting us down to tell me that and touch her. I don't know you and I don't even know who you know at the wedding...
To the lady at the wedding: NOPE! No clue who that guy is. He keeps hunting me down to touch my baby and tell me she's beautiful.

 

[Emmy1987]

Old guy at the wedding on Saturday: Why are you stalking me and my baby. I get it. She's beautiful. But really?? Stop hunting us down to tell me that and touch her. I don't know you and I don't even know who you know at the wedding...
To the lady at the wedding: NOPE! No clue who that guy is. He keeps hunting me down to touch my baby and tell me she's beautiful.

LMAO I was at a wedding a couple of weeks ago and had the same thing but the bloke was wasted, about 60 and kept wanting to hold Daisy... I don't think so! Lol.

 

[divadexie]

Dear hamster. Please, for the love of god, STOP CHEWING THE BARS!!! I give you so many things to chew in your cage will you STOP allready!!!

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Totally raging at DH. Twenty more minutes? You want twenty more minutes of sleep? When I've been up every bloody two hours!!!!!!!!!!! I'll I asked was to change him and now I'm pissed off. I let you sleep this weekend and what did I get when I asked you to watch him while I eat? Five minutes of peace and then you bringing him through saying he's hungry! Eh no he's not he just wants to be heldinstead if being put inhis bouncy chair or tucked under your damn arm while you play fucking video games! Oh that pile of laundry that needs folded? Shove it up your arse! He cries because he wants to be held. I'm not spoiling him in any way! He's a baby ffs!!!! Also STOP bringing him through when I'm having a bath perhaps the ONLY tine I have to relax!!!!!!!! He doesn't need to see where I am! You're his father. He knows he's safe! And after two months I need to tell you how to soothe him? FUCK OFF!!!!! I don't even have the energy to cry! My ear hurts and I'm all stuffed up! I get I chose to bf but I don't need constantly reminded that I'm the one that can feed him! Be more supportive you jackass!

Wee man I love you to bits but why did daddy get your first giggle? Im with you lots more than him

 

[Lettuce]

oh Ozzie! I hate how they use the bf against you sometimes! Like every time they cry it's "oh darling, I think she's hungry...". Why don't you try one of the other options first, seeing as you saw me fed her not 10mins ago! I know she cluster fed for ages but she's kinda stopped that! She's prob bored, or needs a nappy change! xx

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Lettuce I don't even have the energy to cry Alex keeps looking at me wondering why Mommy is making all these noises! God I just want to scream.

 

[0_o]

oh Ozzie! I hate how they use the bf against you sometimes! Like every time they cry it's "oh darling, I think she's hungry...". Why don't you try one of the other options first, seeing as you saw me fed her not 10mins ago! I know she cluster fed for ages but she's kinda stopped that! She's prob bored, or needs a nappy change! xx

Glad its not just me then! How about turning the iPad off and looking at her rather than playing that and ignoring her. Maybe then she wouldn't cry, and definitely won't need feeding... Again!! Duh! My OH just doesn't get that babies need attention not just sitting on a knee.XX

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Exactly!!!!!!!

 

[Lettuce]

I got hysterical in front of J one day, those gasping sounds. She laughed...
Does he nap during the day Ozzie? You should def go back to bed! we at bnb INSIST on it!
I think they underestimate the amount of attention a tiny baby needs! Wee jenny talks all the time now and understands boredom! Then they get upset when they're not moved and soothing them involves a feed! xx

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Lettuce, I wish he napped. I'll feed him and he'll fall asleep on my lap and I'll wait and then go to shift him and he cries so it's back to square one