Things I cannot say out loud....

[MrsPOP]

Sounds like we're all having the same issues with our OHs!

Last night Alice fed at 2.30 but wouldn't settle. I eventually put her down at 4am but I was wide awake and couldn't sleep. But she started being restless again in the basket and I can't sleep when she's all restless. I tried co-sleeping, normally works but didn't...getting her to sleep on my chest for a bit then put her down which normally works but didn't. DH eventually wakes up when I mutter under my breath that I can't take this for much longer and I'm close to tears and he just lies there staring at me in the dark. I ask him why and he says he's waiting to see if she settles.

I get angry then because why if he wants to see if she settles does he not help? He knew I'd been awake since 2.30 and I'm struggling with her, lying there silently in the dark doesn't do fucking much does it!!!!

So I tried feeding her again at 5:30 and lo and behold she was hungry! Again he kept watching me silently and I eventually snapped at him. Why stare silently, if he knew I'd been awake for hours and he was so fucking concerned why didn't he take her for a bit? Or feed her? Give me a little break when I'm crying and and at my wits end?

He harps on about how he misses feeding her and wants to help and do the early morning feed before he goes to work, which is great in theory but when she wakes for her feed her just carries on snoring away. I've woken him up once or twice and he's done the feed but it's just easier if I do it. I feel guilty waking him up because he's in work and that I should be able to cope better with the night shifts.

I think I'm not handling the change in my role very well. I've gone from breadwinner, the drivng force behind the marriage and admittedly the most undomesticated woman in the world to being at home, not working, very lonely and with nothing in my life except for cooking and housework. LO is a delight of course...but apart from her my life is lonely and dull and empty.

 

[Dimples81]

are there any mum groups local to you you could join?

 

[mummy2lola]

District nurse while I'm laying on the bed and ur tucking a sheet under my waiste line so my clothes don't get wet,please accidently fall and rub ur gorgeous body all over me.

Dh "what were u doing in there for so long?"
me *fantasising about this gorgeous man on the bed next to me and thinking about how good he would b in bed* "getting my dressing changed"

do I feel guilty YES but he's absolutely gorgeous and there's nowt wrong with looking  xx

 

[MrsPOP]

Kalah you started breastfeeding again? How did you manage that did your milk dry up? Part of me really wishes BF worked out for me and would love to try again if it was physically possible!!!

 

[Kalah]

Kalah you started breastfeeding again? How did you manage that did your milk dry up? Part of me really wishes BF worked out for me and would love to try again if it was physically possible!!!

Well to be honest I really didn't think I'd be able to either, I wasn't really trying on purpose but Kili kept pulling down my top and lunging at my boob and she cried when I wouldn't let her have it so I thought "ok there's probably not any milk in there but go for it" I guess there's still at least some milk left in there though so I just let her have it when she starts attacking my top, it's only like once or twice a day but it cheers her up =) I only use the right boob though, it's always been the one she prefers and has always made the most milk so I think that's the only reason I was able to start up again.

Oh and also my gp gave me some medication called Amitriptyline, just because I get whole body pain, but it has the side effect of increasing milk production

 

[MrsPOP]

I've had a look just now about relactating. I still can produce drops of milk from both breasts and I do still occasionally try and latch her on but she just gets very upset.

Hmmm...I'm not 100% sure if I'll try it, it's a lot of work and I'm
so tired, miserable and working damn hard for my exam. Doesn't that sound awful? I can't commit to trying again?

 

[Kalah]

I've had a look just now about relactating. I still can produce drops of milk from both breasts and I do still occasionally try and latch her on but she just gets very upset.

Hmmm...I'm not 100% sure if I'll try it, it's a lot of work and I'm
so tired, miserable and working damn hard for my exam. Doesn't that sound awful? I can't commit to trying again?

Not awful at all, if I were you and she just wasn't interested in latching on I probably wouldn't push it, not worth the stress really.

ETA: I just noticed your LO is 8 weeks old, I was thinking she was older for some reason. Being so young it actually might worth trying just a little, not like full on trying to the point where it gets frustrated, but just offer boob whenever you feel like it and she may or may not eventually take it. Like I said though definitely not worth stressing over, babies are stressful enough as it is!

 

[LadyHutch]

To DH: I love you, and appreciate how hard you work to support us financially. But I miss you terribly, and am very lonely down here alone without family. Please keep our sundays free. Please don't work on sundays. i look forward to sunday all week long, as it is our day to hang out and just be a family together.

Also, if you don't go do the sleep study that I requested from the doctor to get this snoring under control, I might stab you in the cheek with a fork one of these sleepless nights. I do love you though.


Liam - I am so proud of you for sleeping well last night. The only thing I need now is an automatic diaper changer. I really don't like your poop. And if you could kindly stop peeing on me in the middle of the night, I'd appreciate it. Oh one more thing, I know you don't mind sitting in your poop until it causes the diaper to stick to your butt, but don't get mad at me when I have to work to get the poop off of you. I know your skin is delicate, but apparently not to delicate to get poop stuck on. If you have any tips on getting it off, let me know. Love you too baby boy.

Sister - You had 4 babies, I know. But you aren't the end all be all on baby behavior. Please stop asking me if I have done the obvious things (changed him, fed him, swaddled, etc). I am not a moron. Also, just because I am a little lonely and sad doesn't mean I am losing it completely and having thoughts of hurting my child. Don't ask me this again. I have had bipolar disorder for 20 years now and am well aware when it is time for me to get help. DH is an expert at spotting it also. I am far from that point. I have no thoughts of harming anyone, just thoughts that I wish my family was closer, my husband didn't work so many hours, baby would sleep so I can sleep.
It's insulting when you ask me this. If you do it again, I might not speak to you anymore.

Other sister - Please take some interest in your nephew. Thanks. A phone call would be nice.

DH's ex wife and evil daughter - Get fucking bent, both of you. If I had the resources and energy, I'd come out there and kick your conniving, manipulative, mean, nasty, skanky ass. Keep trying me...I'm telling you my wrath is about to be released, and I assure you it won't be pretty. Go fuck yourselves.

 

[shambaby]

to mil - do not take hayden's toys from him when he is playing, wave them about in front of his face, and then tell him off for squealing at you.

 

[kandbumpx]

Mil - how many times do I av t tell you NOT to cuddle LO to sleep!? We want her to get used to sleeping alone!

 

[chichestermum]

to mil - do not take hayden's toys from him when he is playing, wave them about in front of his face, and then tell him off for squealing at you.

grr this would make me go mental!! do it back to her! let her hold LO and then say would you like to feed him or something else she loves doing with him and then take him off her and shout at her when she complains that she was going to do that, then ask her how it feels lol! thats if you have the patience, id probably just boot her out the door lol! xx

 

[shambaby]

to mil - do not take hayden's toys from him when he is playing, wave them about in front of his face, and then tell him off for squealing at you.

grr this would make me go mental!! do it back to her! let her hold LO and then say would you like to feed him or something else she loves doing with him and then take him off her and shout at her when she complains that she was going to do that, then ask her how it feels lol! thats if you have the patience, id probably just boot her out the door lol! xx

oh, i wish i could! the only thing she is allowed to do with him any way is hold him on her knee, with close supervision, and he doesn't tolerate that for long before he's wriggling to get down, so not much to take away from her. she is currently being investigated for alzheimers - although we're not sure if she really realises it or not - so have to make allowances. the annoying thing is, she was a mean old moo before, so i don't think it's got anything to do with it, but if she does get diagnosed she is going to get away with murder!

 

[chichestermum]

to mil - do not take hayden's toys from him when he is playing, wave them about in front of his face, and then tell him off for squealing at you.

grr this would make me go mental!! do it back to her! let her hold LO and then say would you like to feed him or something else she loves doing with him and then take him off her and shout at her when she complains that she was going to do that, then ask her how it feels lol! thats if you have the patience, id probably just boot her out the door lol! xx

oh, i wish i could! the only thing she is allowed to do with him any way is hold him on her knee, with close supervision, and he doesn't tolerate that for long before he's wriggling to get down, so not much to take away from her. she is currently being investigated for alzheimers - although we're not sure if she really realises it or not - so have to make allowances. the annoying thing is, she was a mean old moo before, so i don't think it's got anything to do with it, but if she does get diagnosed she is going to get away with murder!

oh well thats poop! id just tell her off then, if she does have alzheimers then (sorry if it sounds heartless, it isnt supposed to!) she wont remember and wont hold the grudge against you
your LO has the right idea! wriggle away from in laws as fast as you can! lol xxx

 

[shambaby]

to mil - do not take hayden's toys from him when he is playing, wave them about in front of his face, and then tell him off for squealing at you.

grr this would make me go mental!! do it back to her! let her hold LO and then say would you like to feed him or something else she loves doing with him and then take him off her and shout at her when she complains that she was going to do that, then ask her how it feels lol! thats if you have the patience, id probably just boot her out the door lol! xx

oh, i wish i could! the only thing she is allowed to do with him any way is hold him on her knee, with close supervision, and he doesn't tolerate that for long before he's wriggling to get down, so not much to take away from her. she is currently being investigated for alzheimers - although we're not sure if she really realises it or not - so have to make allowances. the annoying thing is, she was a mean old moo before, so i don't think it's got anything to do with it, but if she does get diagnosed she is going to get away with murder!

oh well thats poop! id just tell her off then, if she does have alzheimers then (sorry if it sounds heartless, it isnt supposed to!) she wont remember and wont hold the grudge against you
your LO has the right idea! wriggle away from in laws as fast as you can! lol xxx

lol, i wish i could wriggle away, too!

i think if she gets any worse she may be getting told off regularly, as some of the things she seems to think are ok are downright mean or dangerous. she's kind of like a kid in that way, so i suppose we will have to treat her like one sometimes.

 

[chichestermum]

to mil - do not take hayden's toys from him when he is playing, wave them about in front of his face, and then tell him off for squealing at you.

grr this would make me go mental!! do it back to her! let her hold LO and then say would you like to feed him or something else she loves doing with him and then take him off her and shout at her when she complains that she was going to do that, then ask her how it feels lol! thats if you have the patience, id probably just boot her out the door lol! xx

oh, i wish i could! the only thing she is allowed to do with him any way is hold him on her knee, with close supervision, and he doesn't tolerate that for long before he's wriggling to get down, so not much to take away from her. she is currently being investigated for alzheimers - although we're not sure if she really realises it or not - so have to make allowances. the annoying thing is, she was a mean old moo before, so i don't think it's got anything to do with it, but if she does get diagnosed she is going to get away with murder!

oh well thats poop! id just tell her off then, if she does have alzheimers then (sorry if it sounds heartless, it isnt supposed to!) she wont remember and wont hold the grudge against you
your LO has the right idea! wriggle away from in laws as fast as you can! lol xxx

lol, i wish i could wriggle away, too!

i think if she gets any worse she may be getting told off regularly, as some of the things she seems to think are ok are downright mean or dangerous. she's kind of like a kid in that way, so i suppose we will have to treat her like one sometimes.

yea if she acts like a kid then treat her like 1, even if that means putting stairgates on the front door to keep her out xxx

 

[shambaby]

to mil - do not take hayden's toys from him when he is playing, wave them about in front of his face, and then tell him off for squealing at you.

grr this would make me go mental!! do it back to her! let her hold LO and then say would you like to feed him or something else she loves doing with him and then take him off her and shout at her when she complains that she was going to do that, then ask her how it feels lol! thats if you have the patience, id probably just boot her out the door lol! xx

oh, i wish i could! the only thing she is allowed to do with him any way is hold him on her knee, with close supervision, and he doesn't tolerate that for long before he's wriggling to get down, so not much to take away from her. she is currently being investigated for alzheimers - although we're not sure if she really realises it or not - so have to make allowances. the annoying thing is, she was a mean old moo before, so i don't think it's got anything to do with it, but if she does get diagnosed she is going to get away with murder!

oh well thats poop! id just tell her off then, if she does have alzheimers then (sorry if it sounds heartless, it isnt supposed to!) she wont remember and wont hold the grudge against you
your LO has the right idea! wriggle away from in laws as fast as you can! lol xxx

lol, i wish i could wriggle away, too!

i think if she gets any worse she may be getting told off regularly, as some of the things she seems to think are ok are downright mean or dangerous. she's kind of like a kid in that way, so i suppose we will have to treat her like one sometimes.

yea if she acts like a kid then treat her like 1, even if that means putting stairgates on the front door to keep her out xxx

lol, great idea - i'm off to mothercare in the morning for some more gates!!!

 

[whoops]

To my dad,

You're some piece of work. My first day in a new job yesterday and not only did you not bother to wish me luck, but you couldn't even bring yourself to ask me how it went. Yet you still made sure to ask how Lily got on in the creche, twice?? I'm sick of the way you treat me as if I'm nothing - at this stage, I'm not even sure whether you're doing it on purpose or not. You're a nasty, horrible little man.

And yes, it is normal for a 7 month old to cry at night, but you try having months and months of broken sleep and see how patient you are after that! It's not as if I'm hitting the child or shouting at her - I just get frustrated from time to time. You, of all people, have absolutely no right to judge my parenting. Considering the one time you were left on your own with Lily, you didn't even bother to feed her.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Alex, for all things holy PLEASE SLEEP LONGER THAN ONE HOUR AT A TIME THROUGH THE NIGHT!

GO AWAY WONDER WEEK 12! You're no longer welcome in my home! You ruined my sweet, predicatable child!

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Oh and DH, please go jump off the Tay Bridge. I'd rather be doing this alone because I could do without the fucking stress of arguing with you about common sense shit!

 

[elephant29]

OH;

You are a very selfish, self centered and lazy man sometimes and you are making me resent you. OH works Mon, Tues, Wed 12.30 till 10pm and Sat 9-5. I have been on holiday for 2 weeks so every single morning I have let him sleep till 10am when he gets up, shower, coffee and then he relaxes before work. He comes home to a tidy house and LO is already in bed. He stays up till late on his laptop because he knows he down have to get up early the next morning...so he get's to have a life basically. Yesterday he called in sick to work (he really wasnt well) but he still slept till 10am (I didnt mind). I went in town (in a hurricane!) with LO to give him some space to feel better, came home, hung a washing, done another and called take away for dinner to save him cooking (i'm not much of cook). I mentioned that I was feeling really tired and would love a lie in so he said that Wednesday (today) he would get up with LO before going to work (before he called off sick) as he needed to get back into that routine for me going back to work on Monday. So....this morning at 7am LO begins to stir so I nudge OH awake and remind him he is to get up with her. He immediately states that I am lying and he didnt say he would get up. I just say 'yes you did'. He falls back to sleep for about 30 mins (LO is just chatting not crying) but then they moaning begins and OH wakes and says 'I can tell you right now I am not getting up with her' then tries to cuddle into me?!?

I am soo fecking angry this morning. I called him a selfish arsehole and just got up as it wasnt worth getting myself wound up over so early in the morning (plus LO was crying). Is it too much to ask that without me having to beg he suddenly thinks...'Thats right, Lucie is almost 20 weeks pregnant and might need a little rest every now and then'? I work full time, I look after LO all day every day when I dont work. I clean the house (he doesnt help). The bins are supposed to be his job...bin day is a Wed and surprise surprise I get up this morning and the recycle bin is completely full and still in the kitchen so I have to empty it and go outside with it leaving LO who is into everything! Whilst he is lying in his bed?? Oh he is feeling much better he said as well!