Things I cannot say out loud....

[Natsku]

Oh dear. OH offered me a lie in this morning but then forgot straight away, rolled over and went to sleep while I was feeding her I didn't mind as I wouldn't have got back to sleep anyway

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Yeah I'm wide awake now with a sleeping baby across my lap. DH has man flu too so he's all moany. Ugh I suppose I better get up and get ready to go volunteer. Any bets on the state of the house when I get back?

 

[Natsku]

A complete mess

 

[Ilikecake]

Dear oh....why must you taunt me. Could you not of taken your chocolate bar to work?! Instead it's sat calling to me and I'm trying ever so hard to be good. Also...it was me that had the last slice of bread....not J I knew you wouldn't be mad at him.

 

[keeks1987]

FIL - I think you are an ass. I hate that you only get in touch with your son when you want a new mobile phone. Just cos Mike is a manager for a well known phone shop, doesn't mean you can get all his discounts. This rant can also be repeated for your wife and two kids. Although, I like Tom, your other son, so we'll let him off.

SMIL - just because you were adopted at 2 weeks old, doesn't mean you can act like a Pratt when things mdon't work out like they do in the movies.

SFIL - I'm so glad my mom bought me the Moses basket stand. You still haven't finished the one your making for us. I warned you that Ethan could come from 37 weeks, that was a hint to make sure it was finished. You know I channel Monica Gellar and need to have things organised. By the time we get it Ethan won't be in his basket any more.

MIL - you are lovely, but I'm not getting involved with the "What will Ethan call your ex husband's wife" debate. First, I know she and him had an affair when you were married, but that was 27 years ago. You've both remarried so let it go. Second, I doubt we'll see him much any way.

Also, please don't assume you will see us more than once a week because Ethan is here. For all the lovely you are, you're hard work sometimes.

DH - watching you be a dad has made me fall so much more in love with you. You have been fantastic and as soon as I can, I will jump your bones. I just wish you'd think bout your dad and make the comparisons between his actions and yours.

To everyone else who has ticked me off - asking if labour hurt makes me want to punch you. Telling Ethan to wake up so you can see his eyes pisses me off. He's asleep! Leave him alone. I will poke you when you are asleep. Well, I said this but people laugh like I'm joking. Yes my son is ff. I know breast is best. We were in hospital for 3 days tryin to breast feed, but Ethan wasn't interested and my boobs let me down. All fur coat and no knickers. Stop making me feel bad.

 

[loobylou99]

FIL - I think you are an ass. I hate that you only get in touch with your son when you want a new mobile phone. Just cos Mike is a manager for a well known phone shop, doesn't mean you can get all his discounts. This rant can also be repeated for your wife and two kids. Although, I like Tom, your other son, so we'll let him off.

SMIL - just because you were adopted at 2 weeks old, doesn't mean you can act like a Pratt when things mdon't work out like they do in the movies.

SFIL - I'm so glad my mom bought me the Moses basket stand. You still haven't finished the one your making for us. I warned you that Ethan could come from 37 weeks, that was a hint to make sure it was finished. You know I channel Monica Gellar and need to have things organised. By the time we get it Ethan won't be in his basket any more.

MIL - you are lovely, but I'm not getting involved with the "What will Ethan call your ex husband's wife" debate. First, I know she and him had an affair when you were married, but that was 27 years ago. You've both remarried so let it go. Second, I doubt we'll see him much any way.

Also, please don't assume you will see us more than once a week because Ethan is here. For all the lovely you are, you're hard work sometimes.

DH - watching you be a dad has made me fall so much more in love with you. You have been fantastic and as soon as I can, I will jump your bones. I just wish you'd think bout your dad and make the comparisons between his actions and yours.

To everyone else who has ticked me off - asking if labour hurt makes me want to punch you. Telling Ethan to wake up so you can see his eyes pisses me off. He's asleep! Leave him alone. I will poke you when you are asleep. Well, I said this but people laugh like I'm joking. Yes my son is ff. I know breast is best. We were in hospital for 3 days tryin to breast feed, but Ethan wasn't interested and my boobs let me down. All fur coat and no knickers. Stop making me feel bad.

 

[Emmy1987]

Bank balance - I love the zeroes you have but what I'm not so keen on is the minus sign before them... lose it and we will be friends again.

Aunt - your £3500 bed looks shite. Waste. Of. Money.

 

[Cupkake.Luver]

My fingernails:

I grow you out and ONE breaks...now I feel stupid to leave the rest long. GRRRR.

 

[lisaf]

SIL - No, our diapers are NOT any different than the ones you've always been using.. they are VELCRO, not sticky tabs, always have been! I'm so glad you went through 4 of them thinking they were defective. I have no idea why you couldn't get it to stick, I got it to stick just fine. And I'm thrilled you resorted to tape which came off and could have choked my LO while he was taking his nap alone.
And thanks for breaking the latch on my first aid kit when you looked in it for some tape.
SIGH

 

[Natsku]

To OH: I'm not sorry I broke the microphone. You've broken so many things here when you've got angry that I just really don't care that I broke your microphone. So get over it.

 

[Lauki]

Sophie - I'm sorry you haven't figured out how to reach your feet yet, but it's secretly so funny to watch you try and see this look of major concentration on your face because it doesn't work out! Don't get too frustrated though, I'm sure you'll figure it out soon enough!

 

[MajorBee]

Sophie - I'm sorry you haven't figured out how to reach your feet yet, but it's secretly so funny to watch you try and see this look of major concentration on your face because it doesn't work out! Don't get too frustrated though, I'm sure you'll figure it out soon enough!

Hehe, my LO has got as far as finding her knees Very funny to watch! Esp when she lifts her bum and a fart squeaks out

 

[Lauki]

.

Sophie is trying to move her face to her feet, instead of her feet to her face. It just doesn't work and she gets really frustrated, but if I help her she gets upset with me .

It's scary, a few days ago she didn't even know her hands, now she's grabbed things, pulls herself up when you hold her arms and is trying to reach her feet!

 

[Odd Socks]

Dear oh,

Some days, like today, you're a fucking selfish prick.

 

[wishiwas]

Landlord: I appreciate that you stay out of our business. However, I wouldn't mind you checking in every now and again so we don't have to hunt you down when something needs fixed. Other than that, you're terrific

 

[marina294]

MIL:-thank you for everything you have done and bought and cooked for us i appreciate and you are lovely but..

Please stop telling me that weaning at 6 months is rubbish and that you had to give OH baby rice from 8 weeks -u tell me this almost everytime i come round .

The "she cant be hungry again" one yes she is it is called cluster feeding so stop jiggling her telling her this as she gets more and more irate just give her to mee so i can feed her!!

lo has colic and trouble bringing wind up she is not getting crafty and training us to pick her up all the time she is tired from not sleeping most off the day and the colic is causing havoc too if i want to soothe my baby i will she will not be getting spoilt!

After OH baisically told me you were babysitting her at 2 weeks so we can go out (i didnt want to leave her) please dont tell me when i come back your pretty sure she tried smiling for grandad and it wasnt wind!! A. she is 2 weeks i highly doubt it and B.this may sound childish but if anyone gets her first smile it will be me or OH!!!

when we take lo for a walk as she is so overtired not much is consoling her then we come back she is asleep in her jacket do u sit there saying dont you think she is hot in that i reply no-then u start saying loudly 5 min later how hot your feeling to then proceed to ask OH if you can undo her jacket at least-she is not frickin hot she only has a vest under hre jacket stop undermining me i dont want to wake her!!

FIL:-when i give her to u when she is awake after being asleep do u proceed to shush her saying go to sleep over your shoulder and you wonder why she is irate even though i tell you she is not tired!!

Yet again she is crying because she is hungry i have walked over to you to get her why do u ignore me and still bounce her on your knee when she is crying and asking her whats the matter ermmm SHE IS HUNGRY!!!

OH:-i love you to bits you have given us a beautiful daughter. but u wear me out when you are home from work i have less time to run around picking up your dirty dishes and clothes please cut me some slack.

I know you want to give her cuddles but i have just got her off to sleep but u ignore me pick her up she wakes up then you hand me back a screaming tired baby.

saying you will watch her whilst i do your banking and go to the supermarket to get a few bits is NOT a break i would much rather have a bath or a nap not run your errands.

stop rushing out the door we have a baby now u need to make sure we have everything not forget her blanket because it is warm outside now it will get cooler later!!

when we go to your mums please can we not spend hours upon hours there where summer is passed round then back to me when she is crying it is exhausting and not what i class as going out.

i understand you want us to go out but i need to build up a stash of milk to do so im not a cow it takes time to build up enough expressed milk and no i wont just leave formula!

myLO:- Please let mummy put you down for five minutes so i can feed myself and get a shower

to everyone that holds her stop touching or stroking around her mouth which then makes her start rooting for food then start crying because its not there and i dont know where your hands have been!!

omg that feels so much better to write down im sure there is more but oh well

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

MIL:-thank you for everything you have done and bought and cooked for us i appreciate and you are lovely but..

Please stop telling me that weaning at 6 months is rubbish and that you had to give OH baby rice from 8 weeks -u tell me this almost everytime i come round .

The "she cant be hungry again" one yes she is it is called cluster feeding so stop jiggling her telling her this as she gets more and more irate just give her to mee so i can feed her!!

lo has colic and trouble bringing wind up she is not getting crafty and training us to pick her up all the time she is tired from not sleeping most off the day and the colic is causing havoc too if i want to soothe my baby i will she will not be getting spoilt!

After OH baisically told me you were babysitting her at 2 weeks so we can go out (i didnt want to leave her) please dont tell me when i come back your pretty sure she tried smiling for grandad and it wasnt wind!! A. she is 2 weeks i highly doubt it and B.this may sound childish but if anyone gets her first smile it will be me or OH!!!

when we take lo for a walk as she is so overtired not much is consoling her then we come back she is asleep in her jacket do u sit there saying dont you think she is hot in that i reply no-then u start saying loudly 5 min later how hot your feeling to then proceed to ask OH if you can undo her jacket at least-she is not frickin hot she only has a vest under hre jacket stop undermining me i dont want to wake her!!

FIL:-when i give her to u when she is awake after being asleep do u proceed to shush her saying go to sleep over your shoulder and you wonder why she is irate even though i tell you she is not tired!!

Yet again she is crying because she is hungry i have walked over to you to get her why do u ignore me and still bounce her on your knee when she is crying and asking her whats the matter ermmm SHE IS HUNGRY!!!

OH:-i love you to bits you have given us a beautiful daughter. but u wear me out when you are home from work i have less time to run around picking up your dirty dishes and clothes please cut me some slack.

I know you want to give her cuddles but i have just got her off to sleep but u ignore me pick her up she wakes up then you hand me back a screaming tired baby.

saying you will watch her whilst i do your banking and go to the supermarket to get a few bits is NOT a break i would much rather have a bath or a nap not run your errands.

stop rushing out the door we have a baby now u need to make sure we have everything not forget her blanket because it is warm outside now it will get cooler later!!

when we go to your mums please can we not spend hours upon hours there where summer is passed round then back to me when she is crying it is exhausting and not what i class as going out.

i understand you want us to go out but i need to build up a stash of milk to do so im not a cow it takes time to build up enough expressed milk and no i wont just leave formula!

myLO:- Please let mummy put you down for five minutes so i can feed myself and get a shower

to everyone that holds her stop touching or stroking around her mouth which then makes her start rooting for food then start crying because its not there and i dont know where your hands have been!!

omg that feels so much better to write down im sure there is more but oh well

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd breathe

 

[marina294]

thanks lol just been one of them days

 

[lisaf]

I hear you! If I had found this thread back in the first 6 weeks you guys would be sick of me for how much I had to bitch about my inlaws doing ridiculous stuff.
Its crazy how people don't want to do whats best for the baby, just what THEY want to do (cuddle etc).

 

[missVN]

OH- I'm sorry that looking after Ryan is such a chore for you! If I'd known you wanted to go to your mums to organise your weekend fishing trip then I would never have asked you to bath, feed and put him to bed Instead I would have done it myself and then cooked tea and finished the housework like I normally do