Things not to say to a premmie mummy - share your stories!

[Foogirl]

"It must be so easy for you, you don't have to deal the sleep deprivation of having a newborn at home. By the time you bring the baby home the hard part will be over"

Oh ya! You wouldn't believe how well you sleep when your baby is in an incubator 30mins away and there is nothing you can do for him. Toss in the fact you can't even hold you own child and it's a cake walk isn't it!?! (note: dripping with sarcasm)

Preemie moms are tough as nails!

Not to mention the middle of the night phone calls telling you there is a problem.

Oh and the fact you jump every time the phone rings. Not very relaxing

 

[katy1310]

"It must be so easy for you, you don't have to deal the sleep deprivation of having a newborn at home. By the time you bring the baby home the hard part will be over"

Oh ya! You wouldn't believe how well you sleep when your baby is in an incubator 30mins away and there is nothing you can do for him. Toss in the fact you can't even hold you own child and it's a cake walk isn't it!?! (note: dripping with sarcasm)

Preemie moms are tough as nails!

Not to mention the middle of the night phone calls telling you there is a problem.

Oh and the fact you jump every time the phone rings. Not very relaxing

Oh yes, I will never forget the feeling my first morning out of hospital after having Sophie, and the phone rang quite early but we couldn't find it, and it was an Edinburgh number....a bit of raking about told us it was the number for neonatal. We were soooo scared! Turned out it was just them asking if we were going up that day as the breastmilk supply was running out, but you can imagine the fright we got before we found that out! xx

 

[Sugarmuppet]

Oh yes, I will never forget the feeling my first morning out of hospital after having Sophie, and the phone rang quite early but we couldn't find it, and it was an Edinburgh number....a bit of raking about told us it was the number for neonatal. We were soooo scared! Turned out it was just them asking if we were going up that day as the breastmilk supply was running out, but you can imagine the fright we got before we found that out! xx

That happened to us too. We left the hospital about 8pm and decided to stop at my Mums on the way home, as we hadn't eaten that day she made us dinner and we didn't get home until about 12pm. Missed call from the hospital at 9pm and a message on the answering machine. I got into such a panic and coudn't work the answering machine, I was screaming at OH to get it working! Turned out they just wanted to know if it was okay to give Gaby a dummy. What a fright.

 

[Croc-O-Dile]

some one told me how distressing my photos of my little girl are - see sig pic - she just looks like a normal baby only small! Dunno what they expect at 12 week early. i was just like well yeah i needed to hear that cos it wasnt distressing for me at all - idiots.

My DD isn't a preemie, but I thought I'd let you know that your little girl is beyond beautiful, not distressing.

 

[Foogirl]

That happened to us too. We left the hospital about 8pm and decided to stop at my Mums on the way home, as we hadn't eaten that day she made us dinner and we didn't get home until about 12pm. Missed call from the hospital at 9pm and a message on the answering machine. I got into such a panic and coudn't work the answering machine, I was screaming at OH to get it working! Turned out they just wanted to know if it was okay to give Gaby a dummy. What a fright.

I'm sorry, but visualising this made me giggle. I can just imagine it.

But I'm certain it was far from funny at the time.

 

[okciv]

I think I have a good one - not what they said but what they wrote in my DD's notes this week. Turns out they like to write about me instead of writing about how my DD is doing
Apparently I am emotional, not coping well and they feel I am 'slowly sinking'
Hmmm wonder how they would cope with a 4 year old, losing one twin and sitting looking at the back of my other DD's head for 6 hours at a time and feeling so helpless at not being able to be a mum to her
I actually think I AM coping pretty well!! Still really annoyed me though

 

[Foogirl]

I think I have a good one - not what they said but what they wrote in my DD's notes this week. Turns out they like to write about me instead of writing about how my DD is doing
Apparently I am emotional, not coping well and they feel I am 'slowly sinking'
Hmmm wonder how they would cope with a 4 year old, losing one twin and sitting looking at the back of my other DD's head for 6 hours at a time and feeling so helpless at not being able to be a mum to her
I actually think I AM coping pretty well!! Still really annoyed me though

Where about in Scotland are you?

 

[okciv]

Where about in Scotland are you?

I'm in Fife so my DD is in Forth Park (if you have heard of it?)

 

[25weeker]

How is eve doing? Been thinking about you both xx

 

[katy1310]

I've got two new ones:

"Sophie couldn't have been any more premature and still lived"

and

when my mum was telling my brother that Sophie's had her first cold and that we'd been really worried about her getting a cold with her being premature etc, he said "Oh but she's not premature now, babies get colds all the time and it's no big deal". Yes, maybe no big deal if you have a muckle big full term baby like they did!

 

[AP]

why do people think now they arent newborns, that the whole thing is over?!??!

I've just had my usual FB friend throw in her usual remark about how her (full term) LO can do what alex is doing, and has done for ages.

That's it. Delete button got hit!

 

[Foogirl]

Where about in Scotland are you?

I'm in Fife so my DD is in Forth Park (if you have heard of it?)

I have heard of it. How is the unit in there?

 

[Angelihelen]

Had to share, my M in law said the other day, and bearing in mind she's the biggest drama queen in the entire world and it's always all about her said;

"Do you know the very worst thing, the VERY worst thing about my grandaugter being in special care for so long ((12 wks)) was that I (this in bold!) couldn't hold her. I'd see my neigbour with her grandchild ansd all the mums walkign to school past my house with their babies and knew that I couldn't even cuddle my own grandaughter."

As it is mother in law, i'd say the VERY worst thing about MY daughter being in special care was watching her stop breathing, need multiple blood transfusions, have a major heart defect..etc etc. Strange that....

Incidentally, my daughter is home now and was 17 weeks yesterday and is doing really well and i LOVE HER SO MUCH! xx

 

[Foogirl]

DP

 

[Foogirl]

Had to share, my M in law said the other day, and bearing in mind she's the biggest drama queen in the entire world and it's always all about her said;

"Do you know the very worst thing, the VERY worst thing about my grandaugter being in special care for so long ((12 wks)) was that I (this in bold!) couldn't hold her. I'd see my neigbour with her grandchild ansd all the mums walkign to school past my house with their babies and knew that I couldn't even cuddle my own grandaughter."

As it is mother in law, i'd say the VERY worst thing about MY daughter being in special care was watching her stop breathing, need multiple blood transfusions, have a major heart defect..etc etc. Strange that....

My mother in law was similarly self involved. She was going through some difficult times caring for my FIL who ended up in a care home aged 66, and when Abby was born early, she actually said "I could be doing without all this, on top of everything else I have to go through"

It is the closest I have come to hitting a family member.

She also compared my husband having to hot foot it to london (500 miles away) when I was admitted with bleeding, and then him having to go to and from the hospital to see to me (and Abby) as well as having to go to work and keep the house running, to her (whilst retired) visiting her husband every day for an hour. She actually said to him "at least you know it won't be for long, I have no idea how long I'll have to be visiting your dad" When she told me she had said that to him I told that was really offensive but she refused to accept it.

Incidentally, my daughter is home now and was 17 weeks yesterday and is doing really well and i LOVE HER SO MUCH! xx

 

[mummyvikki]

I had 1 in a lift " awww he looks like a doll "
yes mate cause i happily push a doll round town

Second 1 " Awww why was he early'
Me: " they dont really know '
Person: "something you did maybe"

Arrrghhhhh the inconsiderate cow bags x

 

[Angelihelen]

Ah Vikki, I've had that too, the old "Perhaps it was something you did" thing. WISH i had the balls to say "Yeah, probably all the lager and fags I was having." But don't think that would help!

I don't understand how it wouldn't occur to someone that that's really quite an insensitive thing to say? Like I don't carry enough irrational guilt as it is. It just happened sadly, and there's nothing I can do about it.

 

[Foogirl]

"Something you did" ?????

Never had that one but for sure would respond "Yeah, I don't think the Crack Cocaine helped"

 

[nineena]

my hubbys grandma told me Ella was born early and with all her problems because i'm overweight....thanks

 

[lil-star]

Ohh how early was he?
10 weeks early
Ohh that's not too bad is it...babies can be born at 27 weeks
He was the size of a 26 weeker because he stopped growing...
*silence

NOT TOO BAD, swear to god some people....