Things not to say to a premmie mummy - share your stories!

[pink.crazy]

MIL - as LO reaches a milestone. "You shouldn't be doing that yet!!" WTF??? Yes we're all amazed at everything he does but he is still a BABY, he was prem but he will still develop in his own time!! Stop beating him down for doing what BABIES do!!

 

[pink.crazy]

Oh here's another recent one..... "So when will you have his birthday????"

 

[clairec81]

Funnily enough some of the worst comments have came from mine and DH families! As Erin is really small and we have 2 babies a few months either side of Erin in the family we regularly get comparisons and comments, recent ones have included 'just get all of the other babies clothes when there finished with them' - 1. i don't like the clothes they wear 2. one of them is a boy!!! 3. I can afford to buy my daughter clothes myself.
The other comment that really bugged me was at a recent family party when Erin was walking about and one of the other babies who isn't walking was crawling and the babies dad said, 'i mean it just doesn't make sense that 'she' would walk first' - why not!!! Bitchy comment alert - for one thing their little boy is 30lbs at 1 year old - he has a lot more to lug about than Erin does no wonder he struggles!!! (sorry could help it)

 

[lozzy21]

One comment that narks me, it goes like this


Oooo shes small was she early?

Yes 5 weeks early

What did she weigh?

8lb 15

*look of disbelief* Are you sure she was early?

No im saying it for the fun of it.

 

[AP]

Are you sure???? wtf, people r nutjobs!!!

 

[Dasy25]

Ok so i know i'm probably repeating this for the millionth time but it really really gets on ma goat.....today the gran of preemie born at 25weeks who is now 2yrs old actual said to me today..."Oh your baby doesn't look like she's premature" I wanted to hit her square on the nose! (i'm not a violent person i promise) but this really bugs me! 1: She doesn't know anything about my wee cherub and 2: What should a preemie look like exactly??? I think i may be over sensitive to this at the moment but surely she of all people should know what not to say to a preemie parent.

Ok rant over

 

[ermm23a]

It really bugs me when my family/friends look at him and say, "oh, he's just so tiny!" or "I've never seen a baby so small."

No shit sherlock. He was 3 lbs 10 oz at birth. Yeah, he's small. I get it. No need to keep going on and on and on about it. Pisses me off.

I also got irked at the "well at least you are getting to rest and recover from your section at home before the baby gets there." Like I preferred to have my child stay in the NICU for 3 weeks so I could recover and "get some rest."

Or, several of my friends who are currently pregnant, that just assume they could NEVER have a preemie. That their pregnancies will be picture perfect and no complications.

 

[Foogirl]

Ok so i know i'm probably repeating this for the millionth time but it really really gets on ma goat.....today the gran of preemie born at 25weeks who is now 2yrs old actual said to me today..."Oh your baby doesn't look like she's premature" I wanted to hit her square on the nose! (i'm not a violent person i promise) but this really bugs me! 1: She doesn't know anything about my wee cherub and 2: What should a preemie look like exactly??? I think i may be over sensitive to this at the moment but surely she of all people should know what not to say to a preemie parent.

Ok rant over

I was gobsmacked! Not often you hear it from someone who is close to it. You dealt with it well!

 

[PrincessPea]

I have had a lot of the ones mentioned previously esp the 'doll' one.

MIL yesterday - 'Oh she looks like a proper baby now' - what do you think she looked like before????

BIL when LO still in hosp - 'We were just saying you guys are lucky as she will come out of the hospital in a good routine' - needless to say I was furious!!

 

[Dasy25]

I have had a lot of the ones mentioned previously esp the 'doll' one.

MIL yesterday - 'Oh she looks like a proper baby now' - what do you think she looked like before????

BIL when LO still in hosp - 'We were just saying you guys are lucky as she will come out of the hospital in a good routine' - needless to say I was furious!!

to both your MIL and BIL How very dare they!!!!!

 

[rockabillymom]

"she is so Tiny" (she is 2 monthes old and huge compared to when she is born.
"she looks normal now"

 

[Skylamummy]

HI, I'm new on here so first of all a big hello...


I too had people say, ''Lucky you'' when LO was early. insinuating I can catch up on sleep and have a lovely time of it as well as having got out of having a ''hard'' labour! I wanted to punch them ALL at the time, it made me so cross.
I was trying to explain to my OH why this upset me and felt a bit silly but I'll show him these posts.....

 

[Cloberella]

HI, I'm new on here so first of all a big hello...


I too had people say, ''Lucky you'' when LO was early. insinuating I can catch up on sleep and have a lovely time of it as well as having got out of having a ''hard'' labour! I wanted to punch them ALL at the time, it made me so cross.
I was trying to explain to my OH why this upset me and felt a bit silly but I'll show him these posts.....

Don't feel silly! I've had a few people be like 'ooh well at least he wasn't huge'. What do they think happened? I sneezed and he popped out?!

 

[AP]

^ haha thats exactly what i said a few weeks ago, someone assumed that having a preemie wasn't a normal delivery, and went on to advise me on epidurals etc...

Wtf, i gave birth. With an epidural. Before her.
And no, i wouldn't have said its harder full term (perhaps harder in my case because of a few reasons specific to me, but otherwise there was no difference

 

[AP]

Bump for Claire xxx

 

[Lianne1986]

Jaiden wasnt premature but a couple of weeks ago in tesco an old lady asked e how old he was, so i said 3 months. she gave me a funny look turned around and marched off!!

same day, same place, a pregnant lady asked me how old he was, i said 3 months, she was like... are u sure? he only looks a couple of weeks old.

errr shit i must have picked up the wrong baby u div!! i know hes small but i didnt think he was 'that' small

ETA - i meant Jaiden WASNT premature

 

[Hotmum]

I just got a new one this week:

´´Ow you´re lucky! You will have time to rest and by the time she comes home she will be 2 months already !``

I walked away, seriously... I wanted to slap her but she is from my street and I will have to look at her everyday... so whatever

First- Nope I am not lucky
Second- I am not resting THAT much hunn I have a 2 yr old and I gotta pump every 3 ANYWAYS.
Third- She will be two months BUT NOT acting like a 2 month old !

 

[littlestar85]

deleted

 

[EmSmith1980]

I got once again "ohhhh she's tiny". Now I expect this from strangers, but from effin family. It's really making my blood boil, they know how much it p*sses me off. She's huge now (11lb15oz) copare to the 1lb 7oz she was when she was born. Arrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh!!

Sorry, rant over!! xx

 

[kimandbump]

My SIL is forever saying that I am lucky that I had time to recover from my c section before LO came home. I bite my tongue for the sake of family relations but honestly...........some people have no idea!