Those that TTC together, Stick together!! 4 BABY BOYS/3 BABY GIRLS

[rosababy]

Hi Ladies!

Sorry I haven't been around. I'm still WAITING to O!!! Ahhh! I'm on CD 18! I've never O'd that late ever! I have been waiting over 2 months to try again and now that I can, my cycle is all screwed up for the first time ever. SO aggravating. I had what I would say a close to positive OPK yesterday so I'm wondering if I'll O today or tomorrow. Fx'd!

Rosa- Sorry for the bfn Limbo land is the worst! Maybe you O'd later? I'm sure you have thought of that. I hope AF is MIA for a good reason! Sorry your day is so crappy today. I hate days like that.

Kiki, I just saw this post. I'm so sorry you're STILL waiting to O!! Doesn't it feel like all we ever do is wait?! I'm so over it. I've o'ed as late as cd19 before, so I don't think it's out of the question. Hopefully you'll get that +opk today or tomorrow. I always get my + with fmu, just fyi.

 

[ready4baby]

Yes, at least I'm not biting people's heads off. Lots of this weekend, and a Santa baby. I'll be sad without my ttc buddy next cycle. Are you SURE you don't want a Christmas ?

Haha...I'll still be here...I just can't get my hopes all up because I'll probably be out of town my peak days. Things happen for a reason, I suppose... I wonder if our cycles will be all synched up again this month?? OR, I'll be sad without you after you get your bfp But I'll be happy for you more

 

[ready4baby]

Hi Kiki Thanks...my day has actually turned kinda lousy. I'm fighting with DH on email...or not fighting, but talking about our issues. Which is super emotionally draining Blagh. As a result, I'm not thinking TOO much about this new cycle. We will see what happens with my Odate & traveling; I may or may not be around, but I'm just going to assume that this is not our month. Boo. As for you...don't despair...your O will be here any day now, and then we'll all be counting down the days with you!

 

[rosababy]

Oh, I'm sure I'll still be here, Ready...ttc alongside you! I understand not wanting to get your hopes up if you're gone during go time. Ntnp would make life a little less stressful for you this month, probably. I hope that AF doesn't take too long if she is coming, so we can be back on the same cycle day! Sorry to hear that you and your dh are arguing. About ttc?

 

[nypage1981]

Santa babies- that sounds super cute I can't wait for xmas! I got all into it in Disney at the xmas shops. Yea, i know, a bit early.

So....I went to the doctor again today. I am having a breakdown of sorts and I wish I could be put on prozac or something or whatever they put crazy people on. Lithium?!? Hahaha. No, seriously, so I went potty and a dark brown blob came out. WTF??? Of course, I cried, called doctor and he wasnt worried. Well I went anyways for him to hear with the doppler again since mine's not here yet. (they say friday it should be here KIKI!).....He heard the HB again, hard to find though. And measured my uterus? IDK really what that was about but said he can feel it externally and it measured 10-11 weeks. I wish he ordered a scan but says my brown blob was probably old tissue from my spotting before or a clot or something. Sigh. I was so emotionally a wreck earlier that it made me realize I dont think I was maybe ready for pregnancy after that loss? Over a year ago? Idk, maybe i needed therapy or something but my docs are going to dis-own me soon! No, he's very understanding and says I have a right to worry and its normal. PFFFT.

Ok, sorry girls. I feel nuts.

Rosa- I think if you aren't feeling yoru normal cramps that is a good sign. Mine were bad a week befo9re AF was due and I was like, oh weird, early AF. But around AF they were just dull and annoying. Did it mention that clomid could make changes to your PMS, or flow of AF or anything?

Ready- wouldnt it be nice if we could tweak our ovulation days a tad. Haha.

 

[ready4baby]

Yeah I wonder if I could actually manage not to temp or opk? Yikes, I dunno if I could give up the control...

Nah, not ttc, we're talking about his disappointments. I guess when I was away for a few days he had "time to think". He thinks our sex life is routine and not how he wants it. How's that for tmi for you?? I dunno why I take such offense to it when he says things like that, but it just makes me want to cry, not get all sexy & spicy. That's exactly the opposite reaction that's desired.

 

[nypage1981]

You should let him know that it is a better strategy to just get a little funky with you in bed rather than speak and complain about it beforehand cuz that really does turn the whole thing off.

 

[ready4baby]

True, Ny, but I think he's looking for me to do things differently... it just makes me want to scream because when I try to give examples of things he'll say "that was ONE time" as if it does not count. I'm not getting kudos for efforts, just chastised for the routine things. Again, I don't know why I find it so discouraging...I suppose we should be able to grow & react to what we each need...why do I feel like crying? I'm a total nut job.

 

[Starchase]

Hi ladies

How are u all? sorry I haven't been around the last couple of days been working away and managed to have my lunch meeting regarding the new job and contractual details which was great fun.... pretty sure this is the job I'm going for now

Kiki I ovulated CD20 this month I always always ovulate CD 14 have done for the last 8 months where I've been recording it anyway absolutely crazy!!! Hopefully this is it for u don't know about the rest of u ladies but by CD 20 I was done with the whole TTC and bding I was actually sick of the sight of the golden jewels ha ha plus OH gets more and more stamina (TMI) the longer you try and by god it gets annoying!!! ha ha so ready I totally sympathise with you sorry AF got you I think your body is working with the clomid but this month it is gonna really work higher concentration in ur body whoo hoo here u go!!! Santa baby xx

Rosa when are u gonna test again? No symptoms is really good fx'd this is it for you xx

Love and NY don't you dare go anywhere we love hearing ur updates and NY I agree with you both of you have been there through all the highs and lows of ttc and u are bringing us faith that this is it for us and we can do it!!

Today is 8DPO and the cramping has stopped thank god during the m/c cycle the cramping started at 3dpo and then continued quite sore throughout till BFP then M/C so I was freaking out that this wouldn't be a sticky bean again now it has calmed down I feel a lot better.....

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[ready4baby]

Ny, you're crazy to be excited about Christmas in March I'm so, so sorry that you had another scare today How big of a blob are we talking? You did the right thing by getting an immediate check of things...it sounds like all is well with the little babe! You have to believe the doctor that things are okay in there....!!! I think it is absolutely understandable to be afraid of a repeat of something from the past. Someone who has never had a miscarriage could have such a different experience with a pregnancy, but after you know what could happen, I think it changes your perspective permanently. That said, you have to do self-talk (that's what I call it) to reassure yourself that things ARE okay. And, also, if you really feel like you aren't coping well, there is nothing wrong with talking it out with someone, or a professional... Are you feeling better now that you've had the doppler?

 

[nypage1981]

Ready- I am feeling better knowing that right this moment my baby has its heart beating, but think I am really affected by the way my MC was a MMC, and I didn't know until 9 weeks that it died at 6.5 weeks. The blob was like size of a pea I guess maybe and squishy. It was by itself and didn't produce spotting.

I would LOVE to go back to my pregnancy 7 years ago with my daughter. I had NOOO clue about anything bad and was so naive. I just think its a horrible coincidence that after a MC I happen to be a woman who is going to spot through pregnancy. Seems a tad evil to me. Maybe you are correct in the suggestion of speaking to someone. I feel kind of out of control and i've never felt depressed but think it's getting close. NOT to sound ungrateful of my pregnancy by any means but im afraid to do laundry, im afraid to poop, im afraid to excercise, scared to go to work, afraid to be excited, took weeks to actually make a ticker, I haven't told my family or friends yet- all I feel safe doing is laying on the couch and that is definately not normal. I am kind of losing "Nikki" a tad here and hope its just first trimester hormones because in my life i've never been depressed. Not even post partum!

 

[ready4baby]

Ny, how awful that you had to see the pregnancy you miscarried...to be honest, I saw mine as well, although it was not a mmc, I could not mistake the organized tissue of it. It's a terrible thing to lose your innocence with pregnancy, but I really don't think there is a thing you can do but think positively & convince yourself that your daughter is going to have a brother/sister soon... If you are truly struggling with living your life, you should talk to someone. As for being afraid to lift things, exercise, etc, I probably will be too. However, I have this little recording in my mind of the doctor saying "there is nothing you can DO to prevent losing a pregnancy that isn't going to last, and there is nothing you can DO to end one that is going to make it."

You are going to do so much better once you have your doppler! You can check every day if you want

 

[nypage1981]

I know that will be nice to just have OH find the lil beat every night and then go on with life. I think time may go by faster.

Thanks for the cheer up. I do feel more positive and find it amazing I can go through such mood swings at the moment. Sheesh!

My doc said today, don;t worry about stressing, you wont cause a miscarriage or anything. So I think he noticed that I was getting stressed about being stressed. Do you guys KNOW how lovely a glass of red wine would be right now? Not pregnant but with the ability to get a nice giggly buzz on! Yep, I do miss that!

Have a few for me, both of yoU!

 

[Kiki0522]

Rosa- It does feel like all we ever do is wait! It's starting to drive me crazy! I'm glad you are having a better day though! You still aren't out yet!!

Ready- I'm sorry you are having some issues with DH about this whole crazy process. It does get kind of routine and it sucks. But maybe he's just having a down day about it all. You are not a total nut job. I would feel the same way and would want to cry if my DH said that too. It's hard not to take offense. But he loves you and isn't trying to make you feel bad! How did the convo start? Did he just bring it up?

Ny- Sorry to hear about the dark brown blob. Are you still taking progesterone? My friend took progesterone and she had that too. Little chunks of brown. I remember her freaking out about it but her doctor said it was due to the progesterone. Not a big deal at all! Doesn't the placenta take over at 12 weeks for the progesterone? I think.. Maybe I'm wrong. But if that's right, I bet you will stop spotting and all of this that makes you stress when you hit 12 weeks! That's great your doppler will be here tomorrow!

Star- Thank you for your input. I'm usually anywhere between CD 14 and 15 with a one time early of 12 but that was after my ectopic so things were a little screwy. So this is definitely late for me. I'm glad your cramping has stopped!

So for me.. I think I may have missed the surge and maybe I have or just about to O. I should have used fmu this morning like you said Rosa. My OPK was very dark yesterday. Maybe it was positive. It's so hard to tell. But today it's way lighter. Either I drank too much or the surge is over. We will BD again tonight and see where my temps go tomorrow. They did dip the lowest they have been all cycle this morning so I'm hoping that's my "ovulation dip" that I got last cycle. It was so obvious last cycle because my temp shot up after it. So FX'd!!!!

 

[nypage1981]

Kiki- I never knew that about progesterone and brown blobs. Lol. I've been on it for such a while now that i didnt think much of it. Yes, placenta takes over around 12 weeks so I hope mine is beginning to do wahtever its supposed to.

Also, the few months before my bfp, including the one of my bfp, I had done opk's all the time, night and day. I kept missing the surge. It would be close and then the next day lighter. So, what I found out from others is that it is very easy to have your surge be a short one and miss it....so like, while sleeping or just right after your last dark opk. So you probably are or did ovulate right now but missed that surge time on opks. I'd DTD tonight and tomorrow night and keep opk testing a few more days also. FX'd!

 

[rosababy]

Yeah I wonder if I could actually manage not to temp or opk? Yikes, I dunno if I could give up the control...

Nah, not ttc, we're talking about his disappointments. I guess when I was away for a few days he had "time to think". He thinks our sex life is routine and not how he wants it. How's that for tmi for you?? I dunno why I take such offense to it when he says things like that, but it just makes me want to cry, not get all sexy & spicy. That's exactly the opposite reaction that's desired.

Ready, I'm not doing opks OR temping next cycle. I wash my hands of it. Especially since clomid has messed with my temps. I left my +opk on the countertop right before bd last cycle (not on purpose) and I think it affected my dh to perform...knew he HAD to. So, just taking the clomid and every other day bd like the doc said. Hopefully it works.

Rosa when are u gonna test again? No symptoms is really good fx'd this is it for you xx

I won't test again until the weekend, maybe Sunday if I don't get AF tomorrow. The cramps are starting to get a little more noticeable tonight. We'll see what they do, but AF will probably come tomorrow.

Ny, I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. I totally understand how you feel scared to do anything. I will probably be like that, too. Sometimes, when I'm this late in the cycle, I'm afraid to do abs too much, too much high intensity cardio (I haven't gone spinning in MONTHS), etc. And I"m not even preggo! You're not crazy, I think a lot of women feel like that. But ready is right, there is nothing that you do that will prevent losing a pregnancy that isn't going to last. That's got to make you feel better.
Hopefully that doppler will make you feel more confident. Pray. I've been praying for peace, and it's helping. (Interestingly, I've stopped praying for patience...He is definitely testing me in that!)

 

[nypage1981]

I will definately be praying for peace and for heart beats! I also stopped working out as hard usually towards end of TWW except the month I got bfp i had just BEGAN hard workouts! I seriously had no expectation of bfp. So i was starting hard core stuff to lose weight. Now im just a chunk! 10 weeks and a chunk! Dammit for not losing those 10 lbs before.
Thanks girls for the support and words. Im feeling less crazy. I know I have a right to worry but there really is nothing I can do. I think that im stuck in the thought that i've got some sort of control over anything and that's what I worry about. Missing my chance to do something about it- when there is nothing I can do!

 

[AndreaFlorida]

Hey ladies hope an pray everyone is doing well....sorry about AF to all who got it it apparently got me too.....an I been on pain meds past two days it was so bad......now I'm praying my moms house isn't gonna get burnt down as there is a huge fire where I live that keeps spreading an its going towards her house an lots of other houses please pray for all of those who are in the fires path...as for me I'm gonna get off here an watch news to make sure she doesn't have to evacuate anytime soon see you all later girls an have a wonderful night God bless---also I have a new job an won't be on as much I'm working up to 10 hour days at times an I'm so tired when I get home I wanna just go to sleep an DH is on nights so I never see him anymore.....oh well things happen for reasons we can't explain....again have a wonderful night an God bless!

 

[rosababy]

Oh my gosh, Andrea, so much going on! I'm so sorry you're having to go through all of that. We'll be praying for you. Where are there fires? I hadn't heard of that. Hang in there, girl. We're here for you.

 

[AndreaFlorida]

Crestview, Florida right where I live my mom is only a few miles from the fires I'll try to find a link on it....

https://www.nwfdailynews.com/

There is our local news as of now....