Trying To Conceive #1 Only Vent Thread

[AlyCon]

I'm so tired of faking a smile for the sake of other people. Depressed is an understatement for how I feel right now. But the show must go on..

 

[DBZ34]

Hubby and I have been TTC for 13 years. Most of my friends know my struggle and one who was talking to me a day ago about my struggle has announced like all the rest with her scan photo that she is 22 weeks. Really!!! I feel like I have been kicked in the heart. I just want one child. To work like everyone else and yet I get nothing. No glimmer or I'm even close. So last night before bed I see that post and my PMA jumps right out of the window and I am back to I am a waste of a woman. I'm never going to be a mom. There is no point in me evening trying. I can't even adopt as I don't have my own home or have a job. Why am I being punished? Why has the guy who sexully abused me as a child been able to have a kid and I am being denied? I feel so alone.
DH says he is there for me but how can he be when he's not even in the equation of TTC. We removed him. I get the injections. The nurses up my foo every other day. Why is something that I want so bad able to hurt me so much?
I have no family of my own to help me through. I have hubby's but all they say is what will be will be. No no no. I can't take that. Or you get told its gods will. Really its god will to beat me down to the point that I start to tell hubby no kids no point in living? Really suicide? I really thought about it. It's not like anyone would miss me.
I just hate feeling like I want to ram the scan pics down their throats. I even feel like their stood there going nanana you can't get pregnant and I can
Seriously why am I bothering with ivf? Iui didn't work so ivf won't. But in the next breath I don't want to give up even after 13 yrs

Sorry

Don't apologize!!

TTC can break you down so low. I can't tell you how many times I've felt so worthless as a woman because I can't do this one thing that women are made to do. I'll admit, that at my lowest point, I've thought what's the point of going on....But, remember that having a baby isn't the only reason you're living for. You're living for your DH. I'm sure your DH would miss you if you were gone. Try to remember that.

Families try to be supportive, by saying things they've heard other people say that they think will help, but they don't know what it's like, so they can't really relate. We can relate here though. BnB has been a godsend for me. For every stupid 'whatever will be will be' or 'just relax' there's at least 10 women on here that know what you're going through and can support you without saying stupid things. We know what you're going through.

TTC is a bitch and there's no easy way to get around infertility. We keep on because this is what we want and we won't stop until we get it, but damn, is it hard. Month after month, year after year. I just want to scream sometimes. But, if I stop, I'll never get pregnant, so I keep going...

I don't think that God's will for your life is suffering and depression. I don't think he would let you want a child so badly and not give you one in the end. It may not come when you want it, but it will come right on time. It might not happen in the way you want it to, but I think it will happen for you. But, that's just me.

And even if IUI didn't work, there's still a chance IVF will work for you. The eggs are fertilized for you and so, you're one step closer from the start. Don't give up!

 

[littlelovebug]

I am getting so ANGRY and so WORKED UP and so STRESSED with this emotionally abusive rollercoaster !!!!

I am sick of seeing my friends on maternity leave enjoying their days in the park, whilst I am sat at work being treated like crap and having to smile on through everything.
I am sick of seeing people get pregnant after being with their partner for only a few months.
I am sick of seeing negative OPK's and BFNs
I am sick of having to cope with feeling like a failure and less of a woman.
I am sick of having to smile when all I want to do is cry
I AM SICK OF PEOPLE TELLING ME IT WILL HAPPEN WHEN I RELAX. I tried being relaxed, I WAS RELAXED, but you know after a ridiculously long, drawn out period of time, you stop relaxing and you start worrying.

I feel like I am being punished for not being able to conceive. That my life is just getting progressively worse in all areas and I am having to deal with it all piling up.

I am usually so head strong and so focused but today I am throwing myself a major pity party....

I am just SO DONE with this journey. When will it ever end? WILL it ever end???

I'm just going round in circles.

 

[Patience21]

Hello ladies,

I have been TTC for about 1year now and Ive run into confusion!

I am now 8days late on aunt flow I have regular 28 day cycles. I have had gas, nausea, and back pain. a week before aunt flow was suppose to start I had some very faint pink and brown bleeding for 2 days on and off. Usually boobs get sore before period like always noticeably sore but this time no!.. My tummy has felt twinging around belly button and I have had slight headaches on and off . Aunt flow has been MIA all june and on 1 day late I tested with Rite aid brand negative .. 3 days late test with FRER and negative... Tested day 8 late and negative. I feel pregnant you know like somethin is off ..I have been emotional lately. Super tired and I can smell like a hound right now!...lol OH! and acne is kicking hard usually i have good skin that rarely breaks out!. when aunt flow comes i get maybe 1 but not several! I have no idea what is going on all home HPT show up not pregnant!
Never been pregnant before and never been on any contraceptives.

Baby Dust to all you ladies!

 

[RainbowBaby13]

when will it be my turn. If i don't get my bfp i am gonna be the point of feeling like giving up. hang in there ladies pretty soon well have our babies soon

 

[EmmyReece]

6 babies due over christmas, new year and my birthday. Seriously, when is it going to be our turn???

 

[snoodz]

It's kinda hard to see women getting so pregnant or those women younger than you. Like it was just nothing for them... I feel sad when I see couples with kids. My friends with kids.

I just recently started my new work and I fee lost when all they talk about are their kids and stuff. I mean seriously.

Well, the hardest might be when you and your husband decided to go ahead and TTC but he doesn't really care that much about it.

Hard is I can't tell anyone I know, Cause I'm scared of what they might think of me...


I just want to have a child of my own. I reall just want to be a mom.

 

[RainbowBaby13]

Feel free to message me hun if you want if you just need someone to listen
have so many friends with babies almost due *sigh*

 

[swizzle3]

I really thought we would be the "oh we weren't really trying" couple. Then i thought the "first real try and we got pregnant!".
Now i am resigned to the "it took us awhile to get pregnant" couple. Which is fine. I'm just really sick and tired of trying. This last month i put very little effort into it. I think thats the only way i'll stay sane. And i'm sick of seeing everyone pregnant. like 5 babies due in August/September.

 

[lady124]

I really thought we would be the "oh we weren't really trying" couple. Then i thought the "first real try and we got pregnant!".
Now i am resigned to the "it took us awhile to get pregnant" couple. Which is fine. I'm just really sick and tired of trying. This last month i put very little effort into it. I think thats the only way i'll stay sane. And i'm sick of seeing everyone pregnant. like 5 babies due in August/September.

My way of staying sane is mamooth working sessions. Somehow I have the feeling I will end up mad whether I focus on getting pregnant or not, only for different reasons. Also stop socialising at work to avoid the two mums that have come back to work after maternity leave. They both got pregnant months afterwe started trying...

 

[Saranimal]

My name is Bethany and I have been ttc for about 2 months (yeah I know not long) but I do have congenital hypothyroidism and am hoping to get some advice on how to be successful! If anyone has some advice I would love to hear it! Thanks all!

 

[RainbowBaby13]

hoping you get your bfp soon my advice, eat healthy, don't stress, use preseed and track your ovulation. also start taking your prenatals goodluck hun

 

[Saranimal]

certainly doing all of those things!

feeling a little nauseated and crampy today. it is 14 dpo so lets cross our fingers!

thank you for the advice!!

 

[RainbowBaby13]

awesome! and your welcome keeping my fingers crossed for you

 

[Saranimal]

Im sorry it is not 14 days dpo it was my ovulation day yesterday. i mean 14 days past AF. wrong abbreviation! lol i really do know what im talking about lol

 

[RainbowBaby13]

Haha no worries hun. Happens to the best of us

 

[EmmyReece]

Seriously stomach ache sod off if you're not af gearing up to start. 82 days and counting is really too much to bear when you want to get back to ttc properly

 

[DragonflyLvr]

CD 50 and 18 dpo and feeling very tired, achey and no sign of AF yet lots of BFN's...this is only my first cycle and I am already ready to give up

 

[maggz]

Hey, I just need to get this out. Cheers to anyone who reads.

After my initial shock from my mc I got very positive and certain that this would be our cycle that we would conceive our take home, miracle, rainbow, sticky baby. I guess you can already tell where this is heading...
I'm just so sad. AF came today and I was going to test tomorrow morning. Even dh was getting excited, although he tries to contain his excitement cause he thinks I'm crazy enough already and doesn't wanna get his hopes up before it actually happens.

We did everything right; followed the SMEP (bd every other day until positive OPK, then 3 days in a row), used Preseed, I ate pineapple after ovulating, we've been eating relatively healthy, dh cut back on alcohol... everything is lined up for it to happen but it doesn't.

I always thought I'd have one of these "Woops I just got off birth control and got pregnant right away!" and when that didn't happen I thought it would be "Oh, we tried for a few months but we got there without any problems" but then I had a miscarriage so I secretly thought now I could say "I got pregnant right after a miscarriage!" That didn't happen either, this is my third af since mc. Now I'm getting worried that something's up and we'll be unable to get a sticky one without help.

The baby I miscarried would have been born in January 2015, right around the time my dad turns 60 and my grandma turns 90. It just would've been perfect. I can't stop thinking about it.

It's hard cause I have no one to talk to except my dh (we recently moved). It's hard cause I want it to happen now. It's hard because I believe we deserve it. It's hard because my husband wants it so bad. It's hard because all I see are infants and pregnant ladies. It's hard because my unemployed, living off the government cousin is pregnant with her fourth child (and her children are beautiful and perfect). It's hard because both my sisters conceived on the first try (my older sister has four children, all conceived exactly as planned), and two of my best friends did as well. It's hard because one of my best friends is having a baby in August and we were gonna be bump buddies. It's just hard.

I'm not really looking for advice, I just had to get this out for someone to read and hopefully understand without thinking I'm a raging bitch who's jealous and angry at her friends and relatives who have done nothing wrong.

I'm just so, so sad.

 

[RainbowBaby13]

hang in there hun. I feel the same, which is why I always come on this thread because I can relate to a lot of the ladies here. someone once told that If you got pregnant before , it will happen again. I believe that's true even tho I would love to hear that it would happen that very next cycle. I had a chemical in 2012 , would have had my baby around my birthday, but instead I was in the labor and delivery room with my cousin instead...