Trying To Conceive #1 Only Vent Thread

[Jett55]

Amen to that! Even though I'm only 20 everyone's all like you're young you have soo much time blah blah it's like dude who are you to say anything I especially love it when people who have kids tell me I should be glad I don't. Um I guarantee if you had any problems getting prego you'd flip your wig so don't say anything to me. And another thing if I'm young it should be easy to get pregnant right? but if we're having difficulty now what would it be like if we were even older. When you're ready to have a kid you know it. Don't tell me things have to be perfectly aligned in order to have kids cuz if it did there would be billions of people without em. So sick of hearing it's not time yet or relax & it'll happen.

 

[VP1228]

Amen to that! Even though I'm only 20 everyone's all like you're young you have soo much time blah blah it's like dude who are you to say anything I especially love it when people who have kids tell me I should be glad I don't. Um I guarantee if you had any problems getting prego you'd flip your wig so don't say anything to me. And another thing if I'm young it should be easy to get pregnant right? but if we're having difficulty now what would it be like if we were even older. When you're ready to have a kid you know it. Don't tell me things have to be perfectly aligned in order to have kids cuz if it did there would be billions of people without em. So sick of hearing it's not time yet or relax & it'll happen.

You are right about the if they couldn't get pregnant part. I mean wow if we would have waited until we are in our 30s we would have a short amount of time to find out why we aren't getting pregnant and then it would be too late because we are struggling now so why does waiting matter? lol I mean really when your older that is when you have more issues like miscarriages and birth defects and then you may not even ovulate at all after 30. So I just drop knowledge on people when they say why do I want this now. A baby is a blessing no matter how old you are (well maybe not when your in high school) but hey everyone is entitled to make their own decisions. My fiance is now on board with ttc again. I just hope and pray that the Almighty is listening to my cries and prayers and will grant me my miracle baby . Sorry for the run ons lol I am just so anxious to try after my lap on Friday. The women on this site are my main support and I thank everyone for not judging me for my decision to have a baby. I want to be a stay at home mom for the first year but it depends on if my fiance can handle that. He told me to wait and see how I feel once the 6 weeks is up. As in wait and see how far his paycheck stretches in those 6 weeks lol.

 

[Caityeebug95]

My husband and I get a lot of Judgement due to the fact that I'm almost Nineteen and he's turning twenty next month, and a bit of a rant, I'm extremely tired of getting judged because of our age, we have a house, our own income, with no state help, and have a very nice savings for a baby and we can not get pregnant and at all, for the first year we were together took no procautions against it but it didn't happen but I figured it was because I was young and it wasn't time, and we weren't ready plus I really didn't want to. But now that I actually am occupieing the idea of starting a family, I'm taking prenatals and have lost weight to help it along, and we can't but some girl at my school that's addicted to almost any drug you can think of can get pregnant extremely quick and not even apperciate it, wtf.

 

[wellsk]

To all those discussing about being judged for your age! I really hear you!
I'm 22, my partner is 29. So we are not extremely young. We've been married 3 years, brought our own home 2 years ago. Both work and have a fair income (it is not huge, but enough to live comfortably and then raise a baby as a SAHM).

My mum certainly doesn't want me to get pregnant any time soon. She's starting to come round after 2 years of discussing it. Although when I told her we might not be able to concieve naturally and would be looking into IVF, she said 'you have my blessing... In about 10 years or so'

Most other family and friends have been really positive, they understand the relationship myself and DH have. And see that it probably is the right time for us.

Some of the worst I've had problems with is doctors and health professionals! I've had so many doctors say 'you've got plenty of time' when I'm sitting in their office sobbing my heart out. That is no comfort to someone who desperately wants to be a mother!

The worst was a couple of weeks ago; a receptionist of an IVF clinic said 'but you're so young!!' When I offered my date of birth. In front of a room of strangers. All of which were far older than me. It was like, 'gee! Thanks so much' I know I'm a lot younger than most here, but that's no excuse in you point it out, making judgement and embarrassing me!

I didn't realise that young couples couldn't have fertility problems too! My bad!

 

[Jett55]

Yah I love that just because you're young u shouldn't have fertility problems. Umm shouldn't it be more of a concern that you're young & still haven't conceived if young ppl are soo fertile....

Does anyone else have a friend that ruins your day by telling u about someone u know bein pregnant? Cuz I seem to have one who looves to tell me about other ppl I soo badly wanna tell her idc

 

[wellsk]

I would just ask her not to tell you as it's upsetting. She might be doing it to give you hope that you'll get pregnant soon.

My best friend tells me that people are pregnant... But firstly, I'd rather hear it from her than them. And we normally bitch about them afterwards

 

[Jett55]

Haha yaah I prefer to hear about it from other ppl soo I can rant about it rather than pretend to be happy for em lol

 

[VP1228]

My friend is pregnant so I can't rant to her about how unhappy I am about her being pregnant after getting an abortion 2 years ago.

 

[wellsk]

That's why places like this are so great. We can rant away about anyone and get it off our chests.
I'm really lucky with my best friend, she doesn't want children, but knows how painful this journey has been. She's even been to some IVF appointments with me (we got some interesting stares! )

 

[Jett55]

aww that's terrible & sorry that's really sucky I have no respect for women getting abortions no matter what the case/age.I understand there are circumstances & all that make it seem okay to do so but if you really don't want it that's what adoptions for. I will never understand why God lets a woman get pregnant just to abort it.

On another note I wish you much luck & baby dust

 

[VP1228]

aww that's terrible & sorry that's really sucky I have no respect for women getting abortions no matter what the case/age.I understand there are circumstances & all that make it seem okay to do so but if you really don't want it that's what adoptions for. I will never understand why God lets a woman get pregnant just to abort it.

We stopped talking for about two or three months after that. But she texted me one day and said she was sorry that I was hurt by what she did. Now I am kinda holding a grudge against her because she just sits there and talks about her pregnancy like she has never been pregnant before. I don't like fake people, especially when it's about having a baby. I have never seen my own but she has seen 2 and I don't understand why she can get pregnant so easy but I am struggling. I pray to the Almighty that after this lap tomorrow that he will let me see a BFP and carry that baby to my due date. I just want to feel the joy of bring another life into the world from LOVE! REAL LOVE!

 

[Caityeebug95]

I got all upset yesterday because my hubby and I were at my in - laws house and we haven't exactly told many people that we're not preventing it from happening let alone want it to. But one of the people that my husband had told (as they've been best friends since childhood) told one of their other friends, who told another one, who announced it in front of our whole family without us even being there... And my hubbys uncle came back flaming mad. "You guys have no buisness having kids, there's no reason for bringing one of those god damn waste of space into this weird, it's fucking stupid for you to even think of it" Ect. Ugh.

 

[ashntony]

I got all upset yesterday because my hubby and I were at my in - laws house and we haven't exactly told many people that we're not preventing it from happening let alone want it to. But one of the people that my husband had told (as they've been best friends since childhood) told one of their other friends, who told another one, who announced it in front of our whole family without us even being there... And my hubbys uncle came back flaming mad. "You guys have no buisness having kids, there's no reason for bringing one of those god damn waste of space into this weird, it's fucking stupid for you to even think of it" Ect. Ugh.

I have been through that myself! Not with the grapevine but my husbands grandma and grandpa told us we don't need one... we got the you have your whole life to have one... i say screw em! My dh and i are ready now! I am already having issues getting pg now! I hatehate when you get the having a baby means you will be broke and you can't have fun or go out. My dh nd i never do anything anyways!!!!! Our friends call us hermits bc of it!

 

[FireLyte]

I told my parents about a week and a half ago I had a mc in May. Had a nice long chat on the phone with both of them about it. I went and saw them last night, for the first time since the mc, and neither one asked how I was doing/coping/whatever else would be appropriate to ask. It bothers me that they were more interested in talking about my sister than me (we've all just been through a lot of drama with my sister, who was ultimately kicked out of my parent's house - along with her three kids). I get that they're worried about her and I'm the only option they have in terms of knowing how she's doing since she's not talking to them, but is it too much to ask that they focus on me for a change?

 

[tamithomas]

Whoever started the "you don't know real love until you're a parent" meme that goes around, I hope you step on a thousand legos. I hate seeing my friends share that bs like as if being a parent is some sort of elite private club house that only certain people are allowed to be a part of. Way to alienate certain friends whom you're aware of had a loss in their life. People really need to think before they share stuff.

 

[ashntony]

I told my parents about a week and a half ago I had a mc in May. Had a nice long chat on the phone with both of them about it. I went and saw them last night, for the first time since the mc, and neither one asked how I was doing/coping/whatever else would be appropriate to ask. It bothers me that they were more interested in talking about my sister than me (we've all just been through a lot of drama with my sister, who was ultimately kicked out of my parent's house - along with her three kids). I get that they're worried about her and I'm the only option they have in terms of knowing how she's doing since she's not talking to them, but is it too much to ask that they focus on me for a change?

I know to well about that.... my parents adopted my sis and i... my mother was physicaly.and mentally abusive. I left home and have not been back for 4yrs... my mother has made me outto be some sort of disease. I am just lucky that my dhs family is so family oriented! I hope things ft better!

 

[Hollynesss]

I feel bad for saying this, but I'm hoping I find others who feel this way rather than people who would be upset by it, but it really bothers me when women who already have one or more children complain about having to wait for more, or there being too many years between their kids, etc. I know that they love their kids more than anything, and that its always frustrating when your plans don't work out, but in the back of my mind I can't help but scream "At least you have a baby!" when I read these posts. I hope I didn't offend anybody!

 

[ashntony]

No you didn't offend anyone!

Well yet another bfn. :*(

 

[Limm]

Nevermind.

 

[SurfNinja]

I can't stand it that all my friends are pregnant. My best drinking buddy is now exchanging pregnancy books and going to prenatal yoga classes with other pregnant women, I feel like it's an elite club I'm not a part of. And my very last friend who I could giggle with about the fertility of our circle? Broke the news of her pregnancy a couple days ago. So now everyone's in the club except me and I fully expect to be left out of all the baby shopping and lunch dates from here on out.

I don't mind talking about babies and pregnancy but they all tend to turn towards each other and leave me out of the conversation since I am not one of the blessed vessels of life.