Trying, waiting, hoping

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive #1' started by DuckyBlue, Feb 6, 2020.

  1. kittiecat

    kittiecat Mum to Noah & Pregnant with #2

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    I’m so sorry about the negative tests :hugs:. Your parents sound amazing and so supportive. Am so glad you’ve got them right now. Hope you have a lovely date night with D.
     
  2. DuckyBlue

    DuckyBlue Well-Known Member

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    Period arrived today :( The cramps are extremely painful today. I've had mild cramps for the past few days. I don't usually get cramps in the days before my period, they usually start the day of my period or the day after!
     
  3. kittiecat

    kittiecat Mum to Noah & Pregnant with #2

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    I’m sorry to hear AF is being so painful :hugs:
     
  4. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member
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    I'm sorry AF arrived :(
     
  5. DuckyBlue

    DuckyBlue Well-Known Member

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    This is it. Our last cycle to try. Well, for now at least. D and I both have mixed emotions. On one hand we're both sad that this journey is ending for the time being. On the other I'm quite relieved in a way that we have an end date. That's difficult to admit but neither of us could deal with continuing to go through this and constantly get disappointed.

    I'm not exactly sure where we go from here. D and I are probably going to look into adoption after Christmas, although not immediately. We need time to process everything and we need some time to talk and think about our options. D's brother asked why we hadn't already talked about other options but we had, only not in the detail we need to talk about them now. We've always had a plan to adopt eventually, but we've also put it off because we wanted biological children first (we were worried an adopted child would feel unloved or unsettled if we then had a baby!) D and I have an appointment with the doctor next week to see if we'd be eligible for IVF. We certainly can't afford to go privately but I actually worry about what people would say if we were able to get IVF through the NHS. IVF is something we've talked about a little, but we'd need to look more into it. My greatest concern is going through all the treatment and then not having a baby at the end of it. I'm not sure either of us could cope with that! And although D's sister offered to be a surrogate we decided not to go with that option because we're both worried about her intentions. There's also a lot of legal issues involved.

    I'll keep you updated ...
     
  6. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member
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    I've got everything crossed for you!
     
  7. DuckyBlue

    DuckyBlue Well-Known Member

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    Cycle day 17. I usually get my peak around day 18, but the test is still showing as low :( Maybe it's a longer cycle again like last month.
    The only good thing about it being just D and I for Christmas this year is that we can relax and spend time together just us. D has suggested a long lie in, followed by breakfast in bed which sounds perfect to me!
    Christmas is very different for everyone this year, and after a difficult year I'm looking forward to some quiet and some time for just us.
    The house smells wonderful as D has been cooking all day! (D said I should mention that he doesn't do all the cooking in this house, he just enjoys it the most!) :rofl:
    I've been banned from one of the spare rooms because he's wrapping presents - he always leaves it until the last minute!

    Merry Christmas!
     
  8. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member
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    Have a wonderful Christmas! :xmas6:
     
  9. DuckyBlue

    DuckyBlue Well-Known Member

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    Cycle day 18 and I got the high fertility flashing face on the test today! I was not expecting that at all!! Was quite a nice Christmas present actually :rofl: I've had a look at previous cycles and I seem to only get 2 days of high before my peak! No idea how usual that is but wonder if it'll be the same this time ...

    I know how we're spending the rest of Christmas! ;)
     
  10. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member
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    Yay good luck!
     
  11. DuckyBlue

    DuckyBlue Well-Known Member

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    It's cycle day 20 and I got my 3rd High fertility flashing face today. Usually I get 2 and then the peak. I'm concerned that I may never actually see the peak, however there have been times I've had many days of high and nit seen a peak but then still had my period so must have actually ovulated. I'm trying not to get too stressed about it. I also guess means this is a longer cycle.

    I am confused though as according to my BBT I ovulated on day 16! However I had to discard a few of the days when I had barely any sleep or had been tossing and turning for an hour so before I'd usually take my BBT which I know can make it higher. It's practically unheard of for me to ovulate that early in my cycle so I'm doubtful. I'm going to see if I get the peak as I think that'll change things on my apps!
     
  12. kittiecat

    kittiecat Mum to Noah & Pregnant with #2

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    Sorry your chart is being so confusing! Hope all becomes clear soon.

    Hope you’ve had a lovely peaceful Christmas.

    Wishing you the best of luck for this cycle <3
     
  13. DuckyBlue

    DuckyBlue Well-Known Member

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    Thank you. Christmas was certainly peaceful! It was just D and I so we were able to spend time relaxing and taking things slowly. We did several video calls with family members on Christmas Eve (because they all said they'd be busy Christmas Day). We went for our usual Christmas Day walk which was really nice, although it was extremely cold! D thought to bring extra clothes and a couple of blankets to keep us extra warm.

    It was so strange not being round everyone this year but in all honesty D and I liked the peace and quiet for a change! We were able to order a takeaway for dinner on Christmas Day which I was surprised about as I'd thought everything was shut, so we ate that whilst watching some Christmas movies which made us both feel like naughty children - usually we do not eat in the living room with the TV on! It was lovely to have the fire on though and it was so cozy.
    We then had an unplanned date night which included drinking hot chocolate in bed!
     
  14. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member
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    Sounds like a lovely Christmas :)
     
  15. kittiecat

    kittiecat Mum to Noah & Pregnant with #2

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    Sounds a lovely Christmas :). Would be my ideal <3
     
  16. DuckyBlue

    DuckyBlue Well-Known Member

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    Another high fertility test today. This is the 4th day of high - I usually get 2 and then the peak. However it's cycle day 21 and so I've no idea whether to give up testing or not. I don't want to get stressed but I also don't want to miss it. I'm so confused!
     
  17. DuckyBlue

    DuckyBlue Well-Known Member

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    Cycle day 22. Another day of the flashing high fertility face. That's the fifth day in a row. Because my cycle was a little longer than usual last month the digital monitor thingy had the symbol that it displays when you first use it when I put the test strip in, so I am wondering whether it'll actually show me the peak or not as the last time it did that it never showed me the peak. The line on the test strip was definitely lighter today than the past few days ... And I know this isn't really a reliable way to tell anything but my cervix feels hard and closed and I'm pretty sure it's low (although honestly I've never been great at figuring out the cervix positions or feel of it!) It was definitely open and soft on Boxing Day and either high or medium level, which makes me wonder if I've ovulated since then?
    I'm trying so hard not to stress. I also don't know whether or not to keep testing. If this cycle is 38 days like the last one, then I probably haven't ovulated yet.

    The only other sign/symptom I've had was tender breasts on days 15 and 20. I had watery CM earlier in my cycle only I forgot to put that in my apps so don't remember which days - however typically I get this earlier in my cycle, definitely before ovulation. My BBT dropped only slightly this morning but as I mentioned previously it's been all over the place with quite a few discarded due to not sleeping or tossing and turning.

    Basically I'm very confused and I've no idea whether to continue testing or not!
     
  18. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member
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    I hope that you get an outcome soon. Fingers crossed for you ❤️
     
  19. DuckyBlue

    DuckyBlue Well-Known Member

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    It's cycle day 24. I had yet another "high fertility" on the ovulation test. I'm almost certain this can not be right as this is the 7th day it's said that! Everything I read said that you're only fertile for 6 days - the 5 days up to ovulation and the day of ovulation.

    My last cycle was 38 days, and as my typical number of days between ovulation and my period is 12 or 13 days I was expecting to get the peak today, as I typically get the peak 2 days before ovulation (according to my BBT anyway!) By this calculation I should ovulate this Saturday (CD 26) and therefore got my peak today. So I'm a little confused!

    At this point I'm unsure if I should continue testing or not?
     
  20. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member
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    How confusing :hugs:
     

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