TTC #1 Hopeful and Obsessed! lol

[greenarcher]

Hey belle! I hope you catch this month! Thanks for keeping touch, limbo is a weird place 20 dpo, a little tan cm yesterday. Haven't tested in a while, I'm holding to test again in a few hours

Puma, you still hanging around the forum or taking a break?

 

[puma1986]

Holy crap green. I'm really excited to hear about the results of your test! 20dpo is hopeful! Any cramping?

Hey Ms. Belle! This is the best part of your cycle My fingers are crossed tightly for you!!

AFM: We are taking this month off. Im swamped! I'll be attending a promotion board, I have to study for the GRE so I can apply to a couple doctorate programs, on top of my heavy courseload already. We are going to get fertility testing done this month and I am going to try to work out since I won't have a fear of miscarrying. I'll probably become very emotional around ovulation time knowing my egg(s) are just going to die but this might be a good reboot for us.

Of course Im still hanging around! I meant it when I said I wasn't leaving until each of us got our BFP

 

[greenarcher]

Negative opk and hpt, limbo continues! No cramping at all!

I'm glad you're getting fertility testing done, that's good news good luck with the gre!

 

[puma1986]

Negative opk and hpt, limbo continues! No cramping at all!

I'm glad you're getting fertility testing done, that's good news good luck with the gre!

You are REALLY LATE GREEN! My AF is done and over with and you're normally a day ahead of me!!!!! Have you ever been this late before?

 

[BelleNuit]

Puma, so stoked to hear that you are getting some testing done! In a sense your month isn't wasted because you will be having testing.... maybe it'll be a nice break!

Green, I wonder if maybe you ended up O'ing later as you had that patch of ewcm later on??? Either way I think you're wait should be coming to an end soon! Fx its a happy ending!

AF is due in a week for me. I'm already incredibly irritable (seemed to set in early this month). No symptoms of note otherwise. I feel fine, just annoyed and angry. I'm so done with trying.

My MIL gave me a book yesterday titled "Trying to Get Pregnant" It was full of little comic strips about TTC. I know it was meant to give me a laugh but it just made me feel like shit. I could barely look at it. I've also noticed my facebook account is completely overrun with pregnancy announcements and baby photos. I've taken to hiding these posts. I'm hiding over 10 posts a day. Its ridiculous. I'm so angry at my situation right now.

 

[greenarcher]

The fun (not) has arrived. At least limbo us over! Holy hell I am cramping like a mofo.

Belle, I think that may be what happened. The ewcm wasn't really slippy, more sticky, but I recorded it just in case.

Hang in there lovely! I'm glad to hear your mother in law is being supportive. I'm also glad to hear you recognize the support, even if it's not helpful right now.

Facebook is the worst sometimes :/ but don't forget, you've taken steps in the right direction. Youll get yours soon

 

[BelleNuit]

Sorry to hear AF showed, such a bummer!! Sorry about the cramps too! That's the worst!

I'm just trying my best not to think about it at all. Trying not to track what dpo I am. All I know is that I'm super moody and depressed. I'm sure AF will show as it always does. Just trying not to think about it

 

[greenarcher]

Ttc is so easy when you can take your mind off it. But that's like the "don't think of a golden elephant" problem. It's not freaking possible to do intentionally! Keep yourself occupied with fun hobbies. Coloring books have come back in a big way and I love mine. Try cooking new dishes.

Easier said than done, I know. Just don't forget were all rooting for you! There's a ton of women that cheer every time you do the deed. Complete strangers share in the most intimate details of your body! We all want the best for each other!

 

[BelleNuit]

Thanks green, you brought tears to my eyes! It's a great comfort knowing there is an amazing community of support here.

I'm hoping your new cycle will be "lucky number 7" for you. You will make a great mom one day.

 

[greenarcher]

Thanks love! I can't wait for you to test! When is af due?

 

[OhHappyZ]

Hi ladies, just checking in, hope everyone is doing well. I separated myself from here a little bit, I'm now on month 5. Isn't it crazy how I thought it would happen right away? Who knows how long this journey will last, and yet every month, I am wishing a hoping. Such a crazy rollercoaster this is, eh?

 

[StarGazerRose]

(pooping in as well)

I knew it would take me a while, because of my irregular cycles, but never thought it would have me 5 years later and still having issues.

I think it's easy to get swept up in all the symptoms --- with the fact that every symptom is the same for both AF and pregnancy (at least for majority of women for the first weeks/trimester) --- that is what drives us all mad!

Last month I had the whole two week wait panic... I thought nothing until I started feeling twitches and noticing other things, and then you symptom check... yes, yes, yes,.... getting all excited, start preparing. Had a blood test for progesterone and ended up with a whopping .4 .... and then it's like "was it all in my head?!" and it took me two days to cry it out, and then ask the doctor for my period pills again.
.... and here we are ... :/

 

[BelleNuit]

Z its good to hear from you again! I took a break as well. I was getting too obsessive about TTC, it was all I could think about. So I stopped tracking. On my 12th cycle now and it's time to get back to living because at this point I don't know how long it will be.

Stargazer I don't know how you've managed to keep up the courage to keep trying after 5 years!

Green, AF is due Monday. I'm not noticing anything symptom wise so I totally expect AF to show

 

[OhHappyZ]

(pooping in as well)

I knew it would take me a while, because of my irregular cycles, but never thought it would have me 5 years later and still having issues.

I think it's easy to get swept up in all the symptoms --- with the fact that every symptom is the same for both AF and pregnancy (at least for majority of women for the first weeks/trimester) --- that is what drives us all mad!

Last month I had the whole two week wait panic... I thought nothing until I started feeling twitches and noticing other things, and then you symptom check... yes, yes, yes,.... getting all excited, start preparing. Had a blood test for progesterone and ended up with a whopping .4 .... and then it's like "was it all in my head?!" and it took me two days to cry it out, and then ask the doctor for my period pills again.
.... and here we are ... :/

I'm so sorry honey. This journey is a very hard one, and I'm complaining at month 5, and you are at year 5. How insensitive of me, I apologize.

You know what kind of bothers me, is that I feel that menstruation, infertility, miscarriages, and menopause are all such silent topics. There should be an open ability to talk about this stuff, but for some reason it is mostly silent unless you specifically reach out to other ladies and talk with ladies that have things in common. I wish it wasn't such a silent topic. Support is our biggest assistance with all of these things.

 

[BelleNuit]

Z I feel the same way. It does bother me how infertility (and everything else) is so silent. It makes it seem shameful. If this progresses much longer I will likely become more vocal about it. This whole process is having a huge impact on my life and no one knows.

 

[OhHappyZ]

Absolutely, I had one friend from high school that already has two kids, and she posted a meme about how hard miscarriages are, and one person commented "Don't you have enough kids?" Like, first off, NOT YOUR DECISION, and secondly, you need to be punched in the balls, what a jerk. So it's just awful. I was sure to give him a piece of my mind and give her support as well, because I'm sure that she was reaching out for it. It's just so crazy how it is so silent, like you are supposed to be ashamed of it all, when we all go through most of it!!

 

[greenarcher]

Welcome back you two!

Monday is not so far away, belle. Any plans this weekend?

Totally agree about the open topic. However, I think it's gotten better, at least among people of child bearing age. My coworker and his wife are having trouble, she's got endo, and one of my best friends is starting her 3rd round of ivf after to failed cycles. It's so nice having these people to talk to.

Hang on there girls

 

[puma1986]

Ladies!!! I am so happy to see all of you! Please stick around!!!!!

Belle: Thanks love! I had a confirmed miscarriage last cycle. This makes two in 3 months! As soon as our referral is approved by our insurance we will get to visit the fertility specialist!

I don't know what happened but hubby looked at me tonight And was like "did you put in your stuff?!?" (meaning preseed) I was like... "Uh, no? Should I?" and he said yes! I guess we are back to trying even though it was clearly discussed that we werent! So... I'm back on the band wagon! For now at least. I regret not temping now. Oh well! We will just aim for every other day during my cycle! I'm so happy to see you back!

Stargazer: Welcome back again! I was wondering where you went! I'm so sorry about all of that. We are here to support you!!!

Green: My love!!!! I am so sorry to hear about AF! Your body was seriously playing mind games with you last cycle! You and I both are now cycle 7 compadres! I'm glad we are still together through this. Just wish it didn't take us so long.

Happy: Hooray!!!!! You're back. You've been missed. I felt the same way as you from cycle 5 onwards. Ita tough! I know you said you used to be extremely anorexic. Not sure if you still are but make sure you're getting enough water, sunlight, and nutrition! It'll be your turn any day now, I'm sure!

 

[puma1986]

Welcome back you two!

Monday is not so far away, belle. Any plans this weekend?

Totally agree about the open topic. However, I think it's gotten better, at least among people of child bearing age. My coworker and his wife are having trouble, she's got endo, and one of my best friends is starting her 3rd round of ivf after to failed cycles. It's so nice having these people to talk to.

Hang on there girls

I could not even imagine ivf for two cycles and going into a third. Perhaps I'm wrong but I thought IVF costs at least 17,000 per treatment?
I suppose at the end of the day, if you're able to afford it, there would be no better way to spend your money

 

[greenarcher]

Puma I'm so glad to hear yall are still trying! That's great news!

I think that cost is right. They paid for the first one, but these last 2, they had insurance that covered fertility treatments