TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

[lynnb]

AFM, I have been way too busy to get on here like I usually do. Work has been unbelievably busy, when I come home I'm exhausted, my parents are coming into town this weekend, and its our 1 year anniversary. I was hoping to leave work early tomorrow to clean the house before my parents come but I have a meeting at 3:00 on a Friday! My boss retired, I've been picking up the slack and we are getting my new boss up to speed. Not to mention, I was tasked with planning my bosses retirement party so I fell behind on regular work planning that. This to me is a wake up call that IVF isn't possible with my work schedule and the fact that I'm the bread winner in the family. It isn't possible to take time off from my job for all the IVF protocol and still expect to keep my job. We have our follow up with the doc on Monday. We'll see what he says. I've been so overloaded that I didn't even realize that I'm due to O on Saturday. I totally forgot to go to the store to buy OPK. DH takes night classes and I get up at 5 am every day so I'm normally in bed before he gets home, so BDing is pretty much non-existent. His last week of classes is next week. I've been bad this cycle anyway, so stressed from work I have a glass or two of wine when I get home, have been ordering out because too tired to cook and haven't had time to work out. I hate to sound like I'm complaining but I'm beat. Now I'm off to pay bills because I think I fell behind on those.

Sounds like you've been rushed off your feet, maybe you just need to take some time off ttc & concentrate on getting everything back into a normal routine before you rule out IVF completely. I too usally have a couple of after AF shows (& sometimes in the tww as well) so your not alone with that. Hope things settle down for you. Have a great 1st anniversary & lovely weekend with your parents.

hi ladies,

i know i've only been posting sporatically but this ttc is becoming a bit much for me. i just feel so down. we've been trying to conceive for almost a year now. i'm so tired of seeing bfn. I am trying so hard to remain positive. it is just so easy for me to stay positive for others but not for myself. I could really use some encouragement today. I don't know how much more I can take.

Hi prayingtogod, so sorry you're finding this all so hard, I think we've all been there at some time or other. I know it's easy to stay but try to stay positive, I'm sure you'll get your BFP sooner or later. Sending you & lots of

Lots of to everyone else too.

 

[Neversaynever]

Ladies forgive me for not responding to everyone but I'm lurking for the time being.

I'm not in a very good place right now and don't wish to drag people down with me.

Really wishing you all lots of love, luck and to all

XxX

 

[skye2010]

I have been watching the wedding since 8.30 this morning. She looked absoluteley stunning in a Sarah Burton dress, reminiscent of Grace Kelly's dress. She's surely the prettiest princess of the English Royals )

 

[lavalux]

Praying & Never,
I am lifting you up in my prayers ... not just for a healthy baby, but for peace and comfort right now. Outside of the death of my boyfriend in college, this is the most difficult thing that I've ever had to go through. And it is different in that everyone loses someone close to them and usually knows what to say, but my infertility is different because not everyone knows what's going on with me and those that do, some of them who have there children already or are single and think I shouldn't complain now that I'm married, they can never understand. Even my mom and DH say the wrong things occasionally despite the best intentions. That is why we are all here! To support each other with love, compassion, kind words, advise, prayer. I hope knowing that we are here for you and I am rooting for your BFPs, will lift you up. Love, L

 

[lavalux]

Missyt,
Thanks for sharing your story about the young girl who was planning to give up their baby in adoption. You understand exactly what I'm feeling. Sad for the girl, disappointed that we can't have a chance to lovingly raise the baby, angry that pregnancy happens so easily for some and with such struggle for others. I am moving on, but each of these setbacks challenge my resolve to stay positive. It helps to know that I'm not alone. Have a happy Friday and a nice weekend. Sounds like you are super busy. Take some time out for yourself!

 

[FutureMommie]

I have been watching the wedding since 8.30 this morning. She looked absoluteley stunning in a Sarah Burton dress, reminiscent of Grace Kelly's dress. She's surely the prettiest princess of the English Royals )

Omg! I've been watching since 5:45 my time here on the East coast and she was stunning! The ceremony was sooooo beautiful. You are right Skye she is the prettiest princess of English Royals!!!!

 

[FutureMommie]

Lynnb- so happy those number are looking good, praying for your little one is snug and safe for the next 40 weeks!!!

Missyt- Happy Anniversary, we celebrate our 2nd anniversary this weekend and my birthday which are the same day. Wow you have been really busy which can be good and bad, its good in that you don't have much time to stress over ttc but bad when your schedule prevents you for things like doing IVF. What is your plan going forward, are you going to try this month or take a break? Whatever you decided I'm rooting for you.

Praying- Hun I'm so sorry you are going thru this but the good thing is you have us here to offer encouragement because we certainly have been where you are. TTC is such an emotional process and for me one of the hardest things I've ever done. It's ok to have this time to feel a little blue but I am praying that you find a peaceful place that will allow you to go on a little longer. Dont give up we are here for you!

Never- Hey!!!!!

afm- I'm actually 1dpo today so 13 more long days to go! I'm going to try not to focus much on it but ofcourse thats easier said than done. I'm in a good and positive place right now but as we come closer to the end of the 2ww who knows how I will feel but one thing is for sure, I'm not ready to give up, I feel in my heart that my time is coming, that is what keeps me going. I've had so many people to tell me "your time is coming, God had something really special for you" I believe that and that is what keeps me going! I can't wait until it's my time, this journey is teaching me to be patient and it is a hard lesson to learn.

 

[gingerbread]

Hi girls!

Skye I am just now watching the royal wedding(set the dvr). Kate hasnt arrived yet so Im excited to see her dress. She is so beautiful & has such great hair!!! Am I the only one in love with Harry? Ive always had a thing for redheaded men (& babies). Does he get made fun of like the other gingies over there? Im sure having the wedding to watch gave you a little bit of a distraction today. How are you feeling & whats next for you?

Missy,Never & Praying

FM I'm 1dpo today as well. I dont know if Im ready for this again!!! Are you gona hold out till the end to test? Good luck hun.

 

[FutureMommie]

Ginger- I'm not testing early, I'm going to wait it out! Hopefully we will both get bfp's FX for us!

 

[Dwrgi]

Just wanted to say a big hello to everybody!

I hope we all get our soon-I think we ALL deserve it!

Lots and lots of to us all!

Love, A
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
:hugs

 

[luvmydoggies]

Ginger- I am in love with Harry too! I think he is sooooo handsome!!! He has got some really great hair and he seems a little bit of the bad boy too (in a good way)

Kate's dress was absolutely beautiful and she looked beautiful and happy!

Missyt- So sorry, don't know how I missed it was your one year anniversary.
Happy Anniversary!

Praying- I have my low moments too! Seeing a bfn is so hard. I just keep telling myself it will happen. We are all here for you!

Hi Never!!!!

Skye- how are you feeling? Been thinking about you!

FM- I know your in the 2ww now! Wishing you a bfp.

Lynnb- I'm so excited for you! Those numbers are great!!!

Lava- You always know just what to say! You are so comforting and loving!

Hi to all of you lovely ladies!!!!

Dh and I are going out tonight with friends to a piano bar. I haven't been there in a long time and I guess they have dueling pianos now! It's in this place called Universal City Walk. They have tons of restaurants, Universal Studios, Hollywood (even thought it's not really in Hollywood). It's a massive place with lot's of people. Have a great weekend girls!

 

[Nikki Leigh]

I think Harry is the more handsome of the two boys (men) too now!

Hugs to all. And yes, this TTC business is very draining on the soul. I'm usually very low the first two days after CD1, but hope springs eternal--have usually bounced back by the end of that first week.

 

[Mommy's Angel]

Hi ladies. Boy, I'm getting excited watching all you TWW'ers. I'd LOVE to see you all transition to the "graduates" board and watch your blessed journeys. Yes, the patience it takes is hard, but it's SO worth the wait dear friends!

Skye, I got up in time to watch the first kiss. I have to say Kates dress is TIMELESS and she's such a beautiful young woman. It's OBVIOUS their love for each other and Harry absolutely blesses my heart. I had wondered when it would come out that as children HE chose the ring that Kate wears who was Diana's. Harry gave that ring to William because He thought the next "princess" should wear his mothers ring. He also blessed my heart looking back at Kate and whispering in His brothers ear "she's beautiful, your going to love it".

I think Harry gets a bad rap. I don't think he's such a "bad boy" though I know media has to find the "black sheep" the royal family. I think the kid has a GREAT heart and I'm SURE Diana would be so proud of her sons. My hearts desire is to see this newly married couple live a private life for awhile as it's SO hard the first few years as a married couple to just understand the needs of a man vs. woman and the way men communicate. I also pray that God may bless their marriage and be the center of it with all the stress and pressure of their titles.

AFM, no gender. Out of respect I'm adding a spoiler to the details of todays appointment for those who would rather NOT hear the details. I just love you all so much that I'd rather not hurt those who aren't interested and know some of you have asked we update you.

Spoiler

I was slightly disappointed as the office only ordered cervical measurements BUT the kind sonographer blessed us with a peek of a little wiggler and a heart rate of 160. What a relief to make sure the baby is alright.

The scarey part of it all is that my cervical measurement went down YET AGAIN. I'm still in the "safe zone" but the fact that the length is going down from 39 to 37 now to 35 has me on alert. The Dr. said she kinda new I'd be on that when she came in and said if I'd like she'd monitor every week. I'd rather NOT go in if we don't have to at this "safe zone" but if I get down to 30 I may start to panic. That's when we'll be doing every week. I'm just PRAYING that my cervical length will stick to 35 for the remainder as I don't want an "I told you so moment" where I actually have to be stitched. I will be SO MAD because the best time to stitch is during wks 13 and 14.

At any rate, the nurse let Doug give me my 17P shot (because he's an RN) and gave him the rest of the doses for the rest of the month so he'll administer it at home. I've been told the shots are VERY painful but Doug has a method that cuts the sting so I had no pain! I do have intense nausia from the added progesterone though. My hope is that maybe the 17P shots will calm the cervix enough to keep the length where it's at.

Baby is doing well though. I get the feeling it's a girl but I won't know until the gender scan in two weeks if "he or she" cooperates.

Love and to you all

 

[missyt]

Praying and Never, it is very understandable about not being in a good place right now. I can say that TTC has been the hardest thing I have gone through (to reiterate Lava's point). The best support I have is coming here and I hope you two feel the same. There is comfort in knowing there are others going through the same thing.

AFM, here it is almost 10:00 on a Friday and I just got finished sending an important email for work. I don't feel confident a BFP will happen anytime soon. I worked well over my allotted hours this week and DH just sprung on me that he can't go to our appointment with the doc on Monday because he is too busy at work. I told him about this appointment 2 weeks ago, reminded him today and he acts like this is the first he's heard of it. This is the appointment where the doc is supposed to tell us what our other "options" are. DH wasn't there for our very first FS appointment, he wasn't there for our last IUI and now he tells me he can't go to our follow up. I just think our lives cam together too late and a baby isn't going to happen for us because we have too much going on. I'm due to ovulate tomorrow and I don't feel like BDing with him because I'm so hurt that he doesn't think missing an hour of work is worth us taking another step toward having a baby. I even scheduled it as the office closer to his work because they do consults out of that office. Not like me who has to drive and hour and a half away to the office that does us/bw and IUI/IVF. I just feel awful right now and have lost hope.

 

[prayingtogod]

Ladies,

Thanks for your encouraging words. I must say I feel a tiny bit better today. This journey sometimes seems so difficult. My DH and I have had all the test done. Everything is normal with both of us. So I guess there is still hope. I am currently in 2ww. This time is just so stressful for me. If I don't get the BFP in the next few months we're going to get some assistance. My DH and I discussed IUI. He just wants to make me happy. I'm still praying that we can do this naturally.

Praying

 

[lynnb]

Dh and I are going out tonight with friends to a piano bar. I haven't been there in a long time and I guess they have dueling pianos now! It's in this place called Universal City Walk. They have tons of restaurants, Universal Studios, Hollywood (even thought it's not really in Hollywood). It's a massive place with lot's of people. Have a great weekend girls!

Hope you had a great night.

AFM, no gender. Out of respect I'm adding a spoiler to the details of todays appointment for those who would rather NOT hear the details. I just love you all so much that I'd rather not hurt those who aren't interested and know some of you have asked we update you.

Shame you didn't get to see the gender but so glad there keeping an eye on you & hopefully you'll get to see in 2 weeks. Also so glad your DH can give you the injections without the pain. I'm hoping your cervical length stays at 35 & that you can go on to full term & a beautiful baby without having to be stitched.

AFM, here it is almost 10:00 on a Friday and I just got finished sending an important email for work. I don't feel confident a BFP will happen anytime soon. I worked well over my allotted hours this week and DH just sprung on me that he can't go to our appointment with the doc on Monday because he is too busy at work. I told him about this appointment 2 weeks ago, reminded him today and he acts like this is the first he's heard of it. This is the appointment where the doc is supposed to tell us what our other "options" are. DH wasn't there for our very first FS appointment, he wasn't there for our last IUI and now he tells me he can't go to our follow up. I just think our lives cam together too late and a baby isn't going to happen for us because we have too much going on. I'm due to ovulate tomorrow and I don't feel like BDing with him because I'm so hurt that he doesn't think missing an hour of work is worth us taking another step toward having a baby. I even scheduled it as the office closer to his work because they do consults out of that office. Not like me who has to drive and hour and a half away to the office that does us/bw and IUI/IVF. I just feel awful right now and have lost hope.

I know there are times when I've got annoyed with DH as he don't seem to understand how I feel about ttc & the pressure I put myself under, but I've never let put me off BDing & sometimes it actually helped my mood. Sounds to me like you need to sit down with your DH & talk, maybe he's feeling a little over whelmed with it all. Please don't give up hope, I know it's sometimes feels like it's never going to happen but I'm kepping everything crossed that it will happen for you soon.

Thanks for your encouraging words. I must say I feel a tiny bit better today. This journey sometimes seems so difficult. My DH and I have had all the test done. Everything is normal with both of us. So I guess there is still hope. I am currently in 2ww. This time is just so stressful for me. If I don't get the BFP in the next few months we're going to get some assistance. My DH and I discussed IUI. He just wants to make me happy. I'm still praying that we can do this naturally.

So glad your feeling better, haven't given up hope & have a plan going forward. Hoping that you don't have to do IUI & get your BFP soon.

 

[luvmydoggies]

Praying and Never, it is very understandable about not being in a good place right now. I can say that TTC has been the hardest thing I have gone through (to reiterate Lava's point). The best support I have is coming here and I hope you two feel the same. There is comfort in knowing there are others going through the same thing.

AFM, here it is almost 10:00 on a Friday and I just got finished sending an important email for work. I don't feel confident a BFP will happen anytime soon. I worked well over my allotted hours this week and DH just sprung on me that he can't go to our appointment with the doc on Monday because he is too busy at work. I told him about this appointment 2 weeks ago, reminded him today and he acts like this is the first he's heard of it. This is the appointment where the doc is supposed to tell us what our other "options" are. DH wasn't there for our very first FS appointment, he wasn't there for our last IUI and now he tells me he can't go to our follow up. I just think our lives cam together too late and a baby isn't going to happen for us because we have too much going on. I'm due to ovulate tomorrow and I don't feel like BDing with him because I'm so hurt that he doesn't think missing an hour of work is worth us taking another step toward having a baby. I even scheduled it as the office closer to his work because they do consults out of that office. Not like me who has to drive and hour and a half away to the office that does us/bw and IUI/IVF. I just feel awful right now and have lost hope.

Missyt, I am so sorry to hear that your dh is not understanding how important it is for him to go to the appointment. I would be so pissed if my dh did that. This probably is not great advice, but I would be stomping my feet and tell him he has to go! It is so typical, to tell them about a certain date way in advance and then act like they didn't know about it. I agree with what Lynnb said. But I would also have a talk with him and tell him that this appointment can't be missed because you need to find out what the next steps are for both of you. If he is feeling overwhelmed, he needs to tell you instead of shutting down. Easier said then done, I know. I'm thinking about you and really hope he will reconsider going to the appointment. You have done so much, gone to appointments alone, driven long distances etc. Sorry, if I ranted a little but I meant it in the best way. Please, don't lose hope.

 

[skye2010]

Hey Giiirls )
Combination of finally being able to get out of the house, meeting friends and the lovely weather we had kept me away from typing for a few days. ))

Ginger, I'm really glad that you are safe and sound. The tornados look crazy. So many of them as well. And in the middle of all this Obama had that empty speculation about his birth place. Really odd. Anyway Congratulations on your 5th IUI. Hope this is the final one. 3 mature follies is a great number . MA got pregnant on 3 follies if I'm not wrong so good luck. )) Try to get TWW off your head and focus on other stuff if you can.

Luvy I'm really bad at uploading picts on this site too )) Why the cramping? Is it usual or just a one off?

Dwrgi those choccie icecream and cakes sound yummy. I must go nibble some choclate now. Golf is a funny choice You must have a golf course near by. Sounds fun, maybe you might find yourself to be a hidden golf genious. I thought like this when I tried skiing and quickly found out that I wasn't But I really enjoyed driving even though I never wanted to try. You never know where your talents lie untill you try. Hope you won't need the IVF so this will be your month.

MA """It got to the point where I'd just say "here""""" You give me a good laugh too baby I'm really glad to hear that you have relaxed about the pregnancy. I can't wait to know what the baby is. Cutey girly girl would be nice no? You could quilt and bake cakes together. How lovely! Boys are great fun too especially when they are toddlers. They are really physical and love playing What injections are you starting?

Hi Rowan, thank you very much for your baby dust. I hope it sticks on us all.

FM you deserved a You really worked hard this time. ) You know, I was talking to my hairdresser today and we ended up talking about TTC. I said "You can't imagine how unpleasant and hard it is when TTC prolongs" She just didn't get it. She said laughing "So which bit of TTc is hard" I said laughing "There isn't a which bit, every bit is unpleasant and hard" We had a good chuckle. I said "I hope you won't have to find out" Anyway same advice as Ginger goes for you, me, Lava and DWrgi. Let's try not to think about it. Cause we will know soon enough anyway

Hey Lynnb stay as much as you like here hun. I'm happy to have some good news lingering around it's wonderful news about the HCG.

OOh Missy hun, you sound like you are working like crazy. I must say I thought it isn't fair of your company to expect so much of you. I hope it isn't like this at most times. Also they really need to support you through any treatment if you decide to have it. When you are such a good employee giving so much of your effort for them. This is a very important decision about your future and your work place shouldn't be having a negative effect on it because of their commercial or economic reasons. Please ignore my words if you find it too nosy I just got concerned about your health hun.

Girls I really need to run off cause my favorite crime thriller is starting but Missy I still have a few things to add... Will do tomoroow morn promise....
xxxxx allll

 

[skye2010]

Sorry about the cut off but this thriller is really consuming and I wait for it the whole week

Missy, I just read your second post just now. It looks like you have a lot in your plate right now. DH issue is tricky. My DH had a few good times when he wasn't there when I needed it but this didn't mean he didn't want the baby or didn't want to help me. At the time it really broke my heart too and actually sent my nerves off the roof. We had massive arguements which built up a lot of resentment on me. It was destructive for both of us and TTC.

Men don't get so involved with all the treatment as much as women do. All fertility treatments are applied on the woman (IUI, IVF etc) even when the problem might be the sperms. So most men feel a sort of detachment to all this. They feel like they are a voyeur more than a participant. You loved him married him and want a child from him. So you need his commitment. I promise you he would show you his commitment once he digests all this and sees that you actually allow him to deal with this. Cause he loves you too. I am talking out of my experience my DH often felt that I saw him as an enemy. I probably did get angry and resentful towards him as the time passed by and we didn't conceive. He could feel this so he used to be more closed and difficult. These thoughts gave me more stress and made me more desperate. It really was a bad atmosphere. In time I realized that I needed to ease off and chill out a bit. He relaxed too and became more willing, more commited. Things improved a lot for both of us after that.

I believe having an arguement or putting your foot down isn't a good solution for you right now. My best suggestion is either you postpone the meeting or pull all your strength and resources and go there alone if you feel you can't wait to hear what the dr is going to say. You will be the one who is making the final decision for the treatment any way. In other words, it will be your call in the end.

Both you and your DH looks like you are on tight schedule and probobly quite off steam with working so hard. You might be misunderstanding each other and mishandle each other right now. This is a temporary situation. Whatever you decied to do about the appointment you must talk to him. Tell him that this appointment is very important for you and you are disappointed by him for not coming. Just let this sink into him without punishing him by anger which would only confuse him.

I really feel for you my friend. I have been in that situation and it really is unpleasant but it will all work out in the end. Loads of hugs for you. I hope the weekend gave you a little bit of the slack you much needed.

 

[Mommy's Angel]

MA """It got to the point where I'd just say "here""""" You give me a good laugh too baby I'm really glad to hear that you have relaxed about the pregnancy. I can't wait to know what the baby is. Cutey girly girl would be nice no? You could quilt and bake cakes together. How lovely! Boys are great fun too especially when they are toddlers. They are really physical and love playing What injections are you starting?

Yes, either will be fun.

I started weekly injections of 17P. It's a STRONG progesterone that's compounded in the pharmacy and made right there. Many women use progesterone creams or pills in the beginning of their pregnancies to keep their pregnancies early on either because their bodies are producing ENOUGH progesterone or because for some reason the progesterone in their bodies isn't sufficient enough to keep a pregnancy in the first trimester so that type of progesterone is used.

17P however is POTENT!! It's used in most women who are susceptable to second trimester or later preterm births. It's a THICK solution and given by injections only. Once a week it's given from wks 16 until 36wks and it's supposed to calm the cervix from contracting. Some women say they are PAINFUL but I'm not having that issue. I AM however dealing with the nausea again REALLY bad like morning sickness. I'm also dealing with stiff lower back muscles. I know it's supposed to calm them and help stop contractions but I'm walking like an old lady right now. I guess I'll deal with all this as long as we can get through to at least 36wks.

I'm hoping that a calm cervix will mean I will stop seeing my cervical measurements dwindle. I'll know in two weeks with the next sonogram and it will most likely tell me if I'll end up with a stitch when they decide I get to THEIR point of 2cm's. That's the concern in the back of my mind but I'm PRAYING that we won't even get there. I'm praying for VICTORY over this issue!

I'll keep you posted when I find out the gender.

Love to you all.