TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

Girls, i'm really quite panicking. My numbers are not rising much the last couple of days. The consultant called me for an early scan tomorrow (suppose to be on Wednesday) just to see if the baby is there. DH's gone for the day to Krakow to sort out some family issues. And I have to spend the night alone and go to this appt by myself tomorrow. I'd be devestated if they tell me the sac is empty. Pls pray forme too.... :cry:

Skye: :hugs2:I will be sending up a million prayers for you... :hugs2:
[-o<[-o<[-o<[-o<[-o<[-o<[-o<[-o<[-o<[-o<[-o<

How are you feeling physically? Do you have preg symptoms still?
 
Skye :hugs:

I'm crossing my fingers and everything for you, so sorry you have to do it alone but we are all here with you in our thoughts.

Massive :hugs:

XxX
 
Skye... all my hugs and hopes are with you... and MA of course!

Talking of hugs and hopes....FM and Lava bestest of luck hunis!!

Loving all the piccys.. so nice to see everyone!
 
Oh skye Im so sorry for you being alone but like Never said each and everyone of us will be there with you in spirit tomorrow. You are in my thoughts now and tomorrow so I hope & pray everything is fine. Please keep us updated hun.
 
Skye honey, I am praying for you and your baby and your DH that everything will be fine tomorrow and that you will be comforted. :hugs::hugs::hugs:

As for MA, she just posted on the graduates thread about an hour ago - she's doing fine, Ameila's doing fine, her cervix is still closed (before the stitch - now of course the stitch is holding it closed) and everything looks good. That's one prayer answered - now for Skye's....
 
I actually grew up in upstate NY, but this New England weather is seriously crazy...60s in December...40s in May. Today it is both humid and cold. How the {bleep} does that happen?? :wacko:[/QUOTE]

LOL, this cracked me up, i live in Chicago, we are used to screwy weather here, last week we had 90's on tues, wed and thurs, and then on saturday it was a high of 54, sunday did not even make it to 50. The saying is if you dont like the weather in Chicago, wait for 10 min and it will change lol. I am just glad that we are finally warming up here, after the blizzard this winter, i am so happy to see the trees and the grass, but we cant seem to get much out of the 50's here lately, although they are saying sunday is going to be 85, weeeeeee here we go on the swing of temps again lol.
 
Lovely wedding pic, Twinkle! :flower:

Good news about MA. :thumbup:

Lots of prayers for Skye & her LO. [-o<[-o<

The IUI went fine, but I felt like they rushed us through everything. My doctor performed the IUI as he was headed in to the surgery suite so he probably had an IVF related procedure to do. DH's sperm count went up, but his motility went down to 26% post-wash from 47% last time. They weren't even going to tell us the number but I asked and then clarified the previous number. DH was a bit bummed out about the number and kept saying that he had cut back his beer/wine/coffee consumption, but the doctor said it was in the normal range so nothing to worry about. I got into a little bit of a tift with the nurse (not my regular one) who said to stay for 5 minutes after the procedure and report to check out. When I said I want to stay a few minutes longer, she said, sorry but they may come knock on the door, everyone's running late today. So, I said fine, and then just stayed another 10 minutes anyway and just smiled big at her and wished her a good weekend as I was leaving. :winkwink: I don't expect to be pampered like I'm at a spa or anything, but I am a paying customer who has her heart & soul in this TTC thing so I want answers and respect. I really like my clinic, doctor, & my nurse & PA, don't get me wrong. This board has definitely helped me be more of an advocate for myself.

And so now ... the waiting game continues. At least for the next week or two I can hope & pray that I'm pg. :)
 
AFM: Nothing. I guess I'm waiting to ovulate, but have done only one OPK (yesterday, negative). Been pretty lazy this cycle. All I did was take the 50mg Clomid. Have drank a few times. Whatevers. Ovo calendar says I should ovulate tomorrow, so we'll see if I get a positive OPK today (yawns).

LOL, i love love love your attitude this cycle, i am the same way, if i want a drink i am going to have one, have no idea when i will O or when AF will be due again, and i dont care lol, for the next couple cycles, i am living free and easy lol.:haha:

I'm on board with both you girls! Too many other fish to fry this month with putting my house up for sale and sometimes I am just so O-V-E-R...I-T. Big time "whatevs" this cycle for sure, Nikki. The 2 bottles of wine chilling in my fridge agree.:drunk:

Sign me up for the whatevs club!! :happydance: So over it right now. AF arrived on Sunday and it was the first time in TWO YEARS that it was a surprise (with regards to the timing of her arrival - the fact that she came was not a surprise because I knew we hadn't tried last month). I was not upset, I was not disappointed, it was more of a "well whaddya know, my period started" kind of feeling. It was really amazing to not feel disappointed or sad about it....

That said, we've decided to take one more month off from ttc before jumping back onto the crazy train (injectables + IUI, to be more precise). I'd been discussing it with my counselor, whether to start again this month or to wait another month. Her advice was you have to weigh which feels worse - the thought of waiting one more month, or the thought of another disappointing cycle - and there's your decision. I just started my anti-depressants last week and we decided it would be better to take a month to adjust to the drugs and let me get my feet back underneath me again before ttc again. So I get another month's reprieve from POAS and progesterone. :happydance: (Really, the thought of not using the progesterone was a big part of that decision - I really hate that crap.)

Welcome back, mpepe - it's good to see you again. Feel free to pop in and out as you feel comfortable! :flower: And welcome to the new ladies. This thread has been a lifeline for me - I hope it's helpful to you, too. :flower:

Yea we need more whatevers in the club, come on ladies, how about we all get in on the whatevers club and all get our bfp's because we finally "Relaxed" he he he,

HA, i am sorry she showed, but yea i have had that happen to me, although for me it was a woah, she is two days early lol. Ugh i know exactly what you mean about the progesterone, and you cant win, the vaginal stuff is messy and just nasty, and the shots really make your bumm hurt. I think your doing the right thing, take some time for yourself, put yourself in a happy place, and i bet you the next IUI will turn into a bfp!!!
 
Skye honey, I am praying for you and your baby and your DH that everything will be fine tomorrow and that you will be comforted. :hugs::hugs::hugs:

As for MA, she just posted on the graduates thread about an hour ago - she's doing fine, Ameila's doing fine, her cervix is still closed (before the stitch - now of course the stitch is holding it closed) and everything looks good. That's one prayer answered - now for Skye's....

Phew!
 
oh skye - fingers and toes crossed for you my dear.

hi HA, thanks for the warm welcome back. I have been reading posts and I didn't know SA results could vary so much. DH and I haven't decided if we are going to do one. WE have the little bottle but haven't filled it lol I'm hesitant to do it because, I have seen situations where sa is bad but babies still happen and one where sa is good and vice versa. I almost don't want bad news because it would devastate us. We've already had enough bad news and I figure since I conceived 2 times last year, he probably isn't the problem. I think we are taking a natural approach at this stage and if its meant to be, it will. Plus, even if his sa was bad, I wouldn't be able to go on clomid for iui's anyways becasue of my endo.

glad to hear all id well with MA :)
 
Girls, i'm really quite panicking. My numbers are not rising much the last couple of days. The consultant called me for an early scan tomorrow (suppose to be on Wednesday) just to see if the baby is there. DH's gone for the day to Krakow to sort out some family issues. And I have to spend the night alone and go to this appt by myself tomorrow. I'd be devestated if they tell me the sac is empty. Pls pray forme too.... :cry:

Oh hon, i will most definatly be praying for you and your little one!!!!!
 
Good news about MA. :thumbup:

YAY! Thank God. My prayers will continue for MA (and for skye...) that all will continue to be well...
The IUI went fine, but I felt like they rushed us through everything. My doctor performed the IUI as he was headed in to the surgery suite so he probably had an IVF related procedure to do. DH's sperm count went up, but his motility went down to 26% post-wash from 47% last time. They weren't even going to tell us the number but I asked and then clarified the previous number. DH was a bit bummed out about the number and kept saying that he had cut back his beer/wine/coffee consumption, but the doctor said it was in the normal range so nothing to worry about. I got into a little bit of a tift with the nurse (not my regular one) who said to stay for 5 minutes after the procedure and report to check out. When I said I want to stay a few minutes longer, she said, sorry but they may come knock on the door, everyone's running late today. So, I said fine, and then just stayed another 10 minutes anyway and just smiled big at her and wished her a good weekend as I was leaving. :winkwink: I don't expect to be pampered like I'm at a spa or anything, but I am a paying customer who has her heart & soul in this TTC thing so I want answers and respect. I really like my clinic, doctor, & my nurse & PA, don't get me wrong. This board has definitely helped me be more of an advocate for myself.

And so now ... the waiting game continues. At least for the next week or two I can hope & pray that I'm pg. :)

Good for you!! Don't let them bumrush you out the door. Their running late is not your problem. They will just have to run a little later. When I did my IUI, the nurse set the timer for 20 minutes and then I, legs to the sky, just chatted away with her until the buzzer went off. The lie-down is all part of the procedure, so I'm glad you stood up for yourself! :thumbup:

Prayers going up for you as well that you get your :bfp:!!!
 
HA, I love your profile pic. What beautiful smiles the both of you have! I was interested in what you said about antidepressents. I have never taken any but I have several friends/family that have for various reasons. If ever in my life I feel like I need them, its now. This TTC with constant disapointment really makes me depressed like I never have been before. I'm sure you've done the research and asked your doc but are there certain antidepressants prescribed that are safe while TTC? I mentioned to DH that I think I need them but he said it may not be good to take while trying to have a baby. I actually had an appointment with another doc to talk about it but I blew the appoitnment off and never went because work was too busy.

MJ, I must be a boozer too. There were a few months where I quit completely to see if I'd get preggo but it didn't seem to make a difference. So now I don't hold back and if I feel like a glass of wine or two or three, I just do it.

Twinkle, love the profile pic! Its so good to see what every one looks like. I love to put faces with names.

Skye, I prayed for you immediately when I saw your post. Please keep us updated and know that we are all sending positive vibes your way. I'll continue to keep praying for you.

Dwrgi, I have always been so confused about SA results. My DH seems to be on the low side. I think you and I chatted about this before. I'm curious to see what happens with this IUI as far as his SA. Last one wasn't good at all and that was after he quit smoking, cut back on caffeine and started taking vitamins consistently.

Lava, I was going to take MA's advice too and lay on the table for longer this IUI (which I think will be Monday). I can't believe the nurse rushed you out of there. I think thats rude. Think of all the times we've had to wait in the doctors office twiddling our thumbs. I'm glad you stuck to your guns and just laid there. I've actually been considering taking a sofcup with me to the IUI and putting that in before I get off the table. I wonder if that would be okay to do. FX'd for you on your 2ww.

AFM, I went for my scan today and had 4 follies but only two that they think may do anything. He wants me to take a shot of Bravelle tonight and come in for another scan tomorrow. I'm thinking the IUI will probably be Monday. I got invited to a girls only martini party tonight but I'm kind of in a funk and don't feel like going now. I hate feeling like this. I think I got disapointed after leaving the docs because I was expecting more and bigger follies since they did increase my dosage of meds this time. One thing that did put me in a good mood is that I had some canvases framed by a local artist I know and I got them back today. Two of them are portraits of my fur babies, one of them DH painted for me for Valentine's one year (he is an artist). She also had 2 paintings of hummingbirds she did that she matted and framed the prints for me. Hummingbirds are special to DH and I. We both wanted to get a special tattoo for us after we got married. I researched and we both have the Native American symbol of 2 hummingbirds tattooed on our wrists. Hummingbirds signify devotion, eternity and defenders of their territory. We thought this was fitting for us and when we hold hands, they touch because we have them on opposite wrists. We have a hummingbird feeder on our porch and we also have a birdbath in our front yard that has hummingbirds sculpted on it. I can't wait to show him the prints when he gets home tonight.
 
Girls thank you so much for all the encouragement and the prayers. I really appreciate it. I will update as soon as I find out tomorrow. I'm not very chatty tonight but I couldn't just read and not wish Lava, Missy and FM good luck.

Girls I will be praying for you too. I really hope this is your final IUI.

Lava I'm glad it all worked out in the end you stood your ground. You can take plain paracetamol up to 1000 mg at any stage of conception and throughout pregnancy. But other painkillers may not be safe. :hugs:

FM I'm really excited you are trying a new protocol with injectables. Everything crossed for you.

Missy I loved that story about the hummingbirds. I love hummingbirds too. It's really sweet that you have it tatood facing each other when you hold hands. 4 follies sound very good. Remember they keep growing even after the trigger. So all might grow to be a good juicy size. Truck loads of baby dust and good luck to all three of you xxxx
 
I was interested in what you said about antidepressents. I have never taken any but I have several friends/family that have for various reasons. If ever in my life I feel like I need them, its now. This TTC with constant disapointment really makes me depressed like I never have been before. I'm sure you've done the research and asked your doc but are there certain antidepressants prescribed that are safe while TTC? I mentioned to DH that I think I need them but he said it may not be good to take while trying to have a baby. I actually had an appointment with another doc to talk about it but I blew the appoitnment off and never went because work was too busy.

Absolutely. :thumbup: I wouldn't take them if they weren't safe. In fact, studies have shown that untreated depression during pregnancy can lead to infants with lower birthweights and lower APGAR scores, and depression during pregnancy is a primary risk factor for post-partum depression - so depression during pregnancy is known to be detrimental to the baby's health. And tons of data exists showing that certain antidepressants are safe to use during pregnancy. So it really is important to seek treatment.

Here's something that ought to make you feel better about it - infertility has been proven to cause the same level of emotional distress (stress, depression and anxiety) as the death of a sibling or a diagnosis of cancer. What we're going through is HARD, and needing some help to get through it is completely normal.

Talk to your OB/GYN or your RE about it. Or talk to your GP about it but make sure he/she knows you're ttc. They will be able to prescribe one that is safe during ttc and pregnancy and even breastfeeding, if you want to bf. Generally they will choose to prescribe an older drug that's been around for years and years - thousands of women have used some of those older drugs during pregnancy and studies have shown no difference between their babies and the babies of unmedicated moms. They'll avoid prescribing some of the newer drugs because they just haven't been in use long enough to produce the mounds of data showing their safety during pregnancy. But there are lots of options available, so even if you start one and it doesn't seem to help, they can switch you to a different drug that will help. My dr prescribed wellbutrin plus an anti-anxiety drug called buspar. My sister was on zoloft during her last pregnancy (after struggling with infertility herself), and my nephew is 4 and perfectly healthy (and adorable and a little stinker and I could go on and on. but you get the picture! :winkwink:)

It's certainly not a decision I took lightly. I've been in and out of counseling for years, and in counseling regularly (once/week) for about three months now. I wanted a shot at working through this without drugs. Drugs were first recommended to me two years ago right after my first mc and I've just been resistant to the idea for a long long time. But I finally reached a point a few weeks ago where something had to give. I was doing everything I knew to do to make myself better - regular exercise, better diet, social activities (not allowing myself to become a hermit, despite the fact that all I wanted to do was stay at home and do nothing), social support, counseling - and I wasn't getting better. So I'm trying the drugs in addition to the regular counseling. As my counselor put it, at the end of the day, if your pancreas doesn't produce enough insulin, you take a shot every day to give you extra. And at the end of the day, if your brain doesn't produce enough serotonin, you take a pill to give you a little extra. So what?! She said her life long goal is to get rid of the diagnosis 'depression' and replace it with 'serotonin deficiency'. :winkwink:

Massachusetts General Hospital runs a center for women's mental health associated with reproductive function - their website has tons and tons of info on the topic of depression and medication during pregnancy. Here's what they had to say in one article on the topic of anti-depressants during pregnancy: "Over 2500 women have taken Prozac during pregnancy, and there has been no reported increase in risk for birth defects among exposed children, even when medication was taken during the first trimester." So yes, there are LOTS of safe medication options... and all I can say for me is that I reached the point where my fear of the tiny potential risk of taking a drug during pregnancy was outweighed by the damage the depression was doing to me now. If you think you might need drugs, chances are you probably do, and that's completely ok. You don't have to feel as bad as you have lately. Help is available. :hugs::hugs:
 
And thank you all for your kind comments on my pic. It's probably my favorite pic of us. :) DH was three sheets to the wind when it was taken - it's pretty obvious from our goofy grins that we were having a good time that day! :drunk: :rofl: I normally wear contact lenses, though, so if any of us ever meet in real life you still won't recognize me! :haha: Oh well!
 
HA, I love your profile pic. What beautiful smiles the both of you have! I was interested in what you said about antidepressents. I have never taken any but I have several friends/family that have for various reasons. If ever in my life I feel like I need them, its now. This TTC with constant disapointment really makes me depressed like I never have been before. I'm sure you've done the research and asked your doc but are there certain antidepressants prescribed that are safe while TTC? I mentioned to DH that I think I need them but he said it may not be good to take while trying to have a baby. I actually had an appointment with another doc to talk about it but I blew the appoitnment off and never went because work was too busy.

MJ, I must be a boozer too. There were a few months where I quit completely to see if I'd get preggo but it didn't seem to make a difference. So now I don't hold back and if I feel like a glass of wine or two or three, I just do it.

Twinkle, love the profile pic! Its so good to see what every one looks like. I love to put faces with names.

Skye, I prayed for you immediately when I saw your post. Please keep us updated and know that we are all sending positive vibes your way. I'll continue to keep praying for you.

Dwrgi, I have always been so confused about SA results. My DH seems to be on the low side. I think you and I chatted about this before. I'm curious to see what happens with this IUI as far as his SA. Last one wasn't good at all and that was after he quit smoking, cut back on caffeine and started taking vitamins consistently.

Lava, I was going to take MA's advice too and lay on the table for longer this IUI (which I think will be Monday). I can't believe the nurse rushed you out of there. I think thats rude. Think of all the times we've had to wait in the doctors office twiddling our thumbs. I'm glad you stuck to your guns and just laid there. I've actually been considering taking a sofcup with me to the IUI and putting that in before I get off the table. I wonder if that would be okay to do. FX'd for you on your 2ww.

AFM, I went for my scan today and had 4 follies but only two that they think may do anything. He wants me to take a shot of Bravelle tonight and come in for another scan tomorrow. I'm thinking the IUI will probably be Monday. I got invited to a girls only martini party tonight but I'm kind of in a funk and don't feel like going now. I hate feeling like this. I think I got disapointed after leaving the docs because I was expecting more and bigger follies since they did increase my dosage of meds this time. One thing that did put me in a good mood is that I had some canvases framed by a local artist I know and I got them back today. Two of them are portraits of my fur babies, one of them DH painted for me for Valentine's one year (he is an artist). She also had 2 paintings of hummingbirds she did that she matted and framed the prints for me. Hummingbirds are special to DH and I. We both wanted to get a special tattoo for us after we got married. I researched and we both have the Native American symbol of 2 hummingbirds tattooed on our wrists. Hummingbirds signify devotion, eternity and defenders of their territory. We thought this was fitting for us and when we hold hands, they touch because we have them on opposite wrists. We have a hummingbird feeder on our porch and we also have a birdbath in our front yard that has hummingbirds sculpted on it. I can't wait to show him the prints when he gets home tonight.

Awww Missy dont be sad, you just remember all you need it one egg and one sperm, i think you should go to your martini party and give those eggies something to smile about!! I love the hummingbird tattoos, that is so beautiful!!
 
And thank you all for your kind comments on my pic. It's probably my favorite pic of us. :) DH was three sheets to the wind when it was taken - it's pretty obvious from our goofy grins that we were having a good time that day! :drunk: :rofl: I normally wear contact lenses, though, so if any of us ever meet in real life you still won't recognize me! :haha: Oh well!

I think your both adorable!!!! All the ladies on here are so pretty, i am trying to get one of my pics to load, but it tells me it failed, i will have to work on it.
 
Hi everyone! So sorry I didn't get a chance to post here. I tried to get to all the threads before they started to FINALLY discharge me.

Just wanted to say thank you for all the prayers. I'll update and Hide for those who wish to know so I may be sensitive to those who aren't interested:


Hi there ladies! :flower:

Thank you for the kind prayers dear friend. :hug:

Not sure if I mentioned it but my roomate the first moment I got there just had her cerclage surgery. After an hour, they tried to get the heartbeat and her baby had died. She started to cry and I then I started to cry in my own area without making her feel worse. The nurses, having known I lost my son and now will be going in for the same surgery she went for, ran for my stuff and transferred me to a private room. Doug came back to find I was missing and started to panic. He got to the new room where I was bawling. I felt so terrible for my roomate and became terrified to have the surgery so I didn't get any sleep that night.

Went in for the cerclage around 1. I was doing well until the anesthesiologist mentioned there was a woman whose sac was buldging the following days surgery. The Dr. Hollard at her to STOP. Knowing that had been my roomate and that with Jackson my own sac was found buldging. After that, I hadn't heard any of them and started to worry as they were working behind the scenes. That moment I felt I was going to be sick and they gave me anti nausea meds through the IV and I tried to keep myself calm. The Dr. shortly said she was almost done and that everything looked just fine and went as planned. She said cervix was STILL closed and I believe she mentioned the closed length was 2cm's.

They mentioned modified bedrest for home. We all know I'll be on bedrest. :winkwink:

I was surprised to find that I was barely bleeding at all, had "slight" cramping but nothing too bad and the worst was a headache and slight stinging when I pee. Other than that, I seem to be doing well and have a more positive attitude about our future. Amelia seems to be doing fine with a heart rate in the 150's. She did almost give me a heart attack when we couldn't find her heartbeat. After what happened with my roomate, I was on the verge of tears when they finally found her beautiful beating heart.:cry:

So all is well. My heart still aches for my roomate though. I know so well what it's like to lose a child and it just breaks my heart to think about her.

I made plenty of new friends with the nursing staff. They were all AWESOME! One whom I found out has had 4 miscarriages in the first trimester. I asked if she was tested for MTHFR and she has a form of it. She spend quite awhile talking with me and I saw the pain on her face. Can you imagine working with pregnant women and women who just delivered their babies only to have lost 4 of your own with fertility issues? She left early this morning and we cried, I gave her a hug and told her that eventually through all this heartache, she will get past those milestones with the new therapy shes' going through and when she finally holds that baby in her arms as I will come fall, it will be the most precious day of her life.

The Aide even asked I stay the year here. :haha: The recovery nurse asked Doug to email her when we finally have Amelia and all the nursing staff on the 7th floor have known me since Jackson so they are all so sweet and kind. I'm going to have to bring a HUGE cake when Amelia is delivered. We're going to have so many people waiting to see this little girl whom we've waited 10 years for.

I'll be back on next week to chat with you all as I have another scan to make sure everything looks good and Dr. appointment. My favorite Perinatologist did the surgery and she was happy that all went well and it looks excellent for Amelia to come "hopefully" on target.

Saw the perinatologist I argued with for an hour to get the cerclage at 14wks and he looked like "oh no, not this one again" and I had a look like "told ya so" I kept hearing the old time western showdown theme in my head and giggled after he left.:haha:

My first time with an epidural type anesthesia. I told the med staff in surgery it felt like I was walking naked in the snow and had them all laughing.:haha:

So, that's it for today! All is well! Now I'm looking forward to making it and holding my little Amelia come October.

Keep you posted as things progress! :hugs:


It's taken me a bit to catch up with everyone.

Lava, glad you stuck to your guns. Of course I'm praying this is your sticky cycle but remember to do that EVERY time you need to. NEVER let them rush you. :thumbup:

Skye, how many weeks are you hunny?? If your before 6 weeks I don't want you worrying if they don't see the baby or fetal heartbeat. A baby and fetal heartbeat can be seen usually between 6 and 8 weeks. The numbers can sometimes very too so there is a possibility all is well. These numbers made me a wreck too.:wacko: Goodness, we all freak about the fertility process and then it just keeps getting stressful with numbers, sticking, etc. The neverending process of trying to be a parent!

There are some Dr's that tend to have scans too early and end up freaking the patients out. Sometimes but RARELY do you find anything other than a sac and even that can be hiding. So try and stay calm sweetheart! Keep us updated, I'm praying.


Love to you all and praying for more bfp's ladies. You've all been on my heart.:flower: :hug:
 
Girls, i'm really quite panicking. My numbers are not rising much the last couple of days. The consultant called me for an early scan tomorrow (suppose to be on Wednesday) just to see if the baby is there. DH's gone for the day to Krakow to sort out some family issues. And I have to spend the night alone and go to this appt by myself tomorrow. I'd be devestated if they tell me the sac is empty. Pls pray forme too.... :cry:

Hey Skye-you're not alone, we're all here for you. Try not to obsess until you know what's what, although I know that's the hardest thing in the world to do. Fingers crossed that all is well. I'm sure everything will be fine.

Lots of love, Axxx
:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
 

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