HappyAuntie
LTTTC#1 after 5 mcs
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2010
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AFM, the last few days have been kinda rough/weird/stressful. The basement crew took a day longer to finish the job than anticipated, and they finished up only 20 minutes before my sister and her family arrived on Wednesday. I had no time to clean up the concrete dust or mud or any of the mess before they got here, which of course I felt badly about. But I'm glad to see them.
On top of that, Wednesday morning (while the basement crew were still hard at work and before my sister et al arrived) I had a really rough counseling session that left me feeling completely raw.
It was good and cathartic and all, but good God why does it have to hurt before we can feel good sometimes?! I have had increasing anxiety during the week, because AF is due to arrive tomorrow and that means starting my follistim early next week. The closer I get to starting treatment again, the more scared I become - scared of the disappointment of another failed cycle, and scared of the anxiety of a pregnancy and fear of losing another baby. There is just no easy outcome to this. And putting off treatment another month won't make that anxiety go away, it's just something I have to push through and deal with. I opened up to DH last night and tried to explain to him how facing another treatment cycle is terrifying for me, and he's having a hard time understanding (bless his heart - at least he's trying! 
). It's just not the same for him. They don't have the tww and the wondering if every little tingle in my boobs or abdomen means it worked and then the disappointment. They just have no idea.
Then yesterday I got a haircut... no major change, but my stylist decided to have a little fun and styled it curly when she was done. I thought it was cute and fun and sassy, and I felt pretty good. (And nothing permanent - just a curling iron - it'll be straight again as soon as I wash it.) So DH comes home from work, walks in the door, and it takes him a good two minutes before he says a WORD. And when he DOES, it's "Your hair looks............. different."
WTH??!! I started crying because that, following the anxiety of the week, was just the last straw. How dumb are men????!!!! He might as well have told me I have a fat a$$ while he was at it!!!! I don't care if you don't like my hair, it's MY hair! And ALL you better say when I get it cut is either "Your hair looks cute." or "Oh, you got a haircut." And you'd better not PAUSE before you say it!!!!! 
How hard is that to figure out??!!! How do men not get that a little white lie, when it comes to your wife's appearance, is always going to be in his best interest? As long as we're not headed out the door and I have a giant spider in my hair that I don't know about, I need to believe that he thinks I look good. I don't really care if that's not what he thinks!
So now I get to go out feeling ugly instead of sassy. I think I should point out his receding hairline in retaliation and see how he likes it! You'd think after 12 years of marriage he would know how to respond when I get a haircut.
My sister and her family will be here until next Saturday so I may not be online much for the next week. (I mean, I'll be lurking - if I go a week without reading, I'd be a mile behind!) I should start stimming next Monday, so send me some good follie mojo in your spare time. Have a great weekend - xoxo to you all.
On top of that, Wednesday morning (while the basement crew were still hard at work and before my sister et al arrived) I had a really rough counseling session that left me feeling completely raw.
It was good and cathartic and all, but good God why does it have to hurt before we can feel good sometimes?! I have had increasing anxiety during the week, because AF is due to arrive tomorrow and that means starting my follistim early next week. The closer I get to starting treatment again, the more scared I become - scared of the disappointment of another failed cycle, and scared of the anxiety of a pregnancy and fear of losing another baby. There is just no easy outcome to this. And putting off treatment another month won't make that anxiety go away, it's just something I have to push through and deal with. I opened up to DH last night and tried to explain to him how facing another treatment cycle is terrifying for me, and he's having a hard time understanding (bless his heart - at least he's trying! ). It's just not the same for him. They don't have the tww and the wondering if every little tingle in my boobs or abdomen means it worked and then the disappointment. They just have no idea. Then yesterday I got a haircut... no major change, but my stylist decided to have a little fun and styled it curly when she was done. I thought it was cute and fun and sassy, and I felt pretty good. (And nothing permanent - just a curling iron - it'll be straight again as soon as I wash it.) So DH comes home from work, walks in the door, and it takes him a good two minutes before he says a WORD. And when he DOES, it's "Your hair looks............. different."
WTH??!! I started crying because that, following the anxiety of the week, was just the last straw. How dumb are men????!!!! He might as well have told me I have a fat a$$ while he was at it!!!! I don't care if you don't like my hair, it's MY hair! And ALL you better say when I get it cut is either "Your hair looks cute." or "Oh, you got a haircut." And you'd better not PAUSE before you say it!!!!! How hard is that to figure out??!!! How do men not get that a little white lie, when it comes to your wife's appearance, is always going to be in his best interest? As long as we're not headed out the door and I have a giant spider in my hair that I don't know about, I need to believe that he thinks I look good. I don't really care if that's not what he thinks!So now I get to go out feeling ugly instead of sassy. I think I should point out his receding hairline in retaliation and see how he likes it!
You'd think after 12 years of marriage he would know how to respond when I get a haircut. My sister and her family will be here until next Saturday so I may not be online much for the next week. (I mean, I'll be lurking - if I go a week without reading, I'd be a mile behind!) I should start stimming next Monday, so send me some good follie mojo in your spare time. Have a great weekend - xoxo to you all.
to try and cover all bases so will be lurking mostly.
(hope it's ok to send hugs when Im so new!) 
Praying your pregnancy continues to go from strength to strength 
