Ladies, I am so sorry I missed the last few days... Padbrat and MJ, I love you both and my heart is breaking for you. I wish there was something, anything I could say or do to make it better, and there's just not.
MJ, I do want to reiterate what others have said, though - you are not a failure. None of us here are. It's not that YOU can't manage to do this - this is a team sport - you are not alone in this. Do not try to take on responsibility for things over which you have no control. There is no fault and no blame - taking it all on yourself is just as damaging as putting it all on your DH would be. Your body has let you down, but that does not mean that you are a failure.
Deb and OMM, choosing to live child-free is not quitting. It is making an active decision to take care of yourself by moving on when you recognize that you have done everything you are willing to do, instead of continuing to torture yourself with heartache and disappointment. I feel I am very close to that point myself, and I think it's something a lot of folks here on BnB aren't willing to talk about, which is unfortunate. (I think it's a scary notion to those in the thick of the ttc fight.) But it is not a bad thing. It is a transition, but in terms of a resolution to infertility, it is just as valid a pathway as is IVF or adoption or donor eggs. OMM I know you are at peace with your decision, and Deb, my sincerest wish for you and your DH is that you find peace as well. You have been through more than anyone should ever have to go through, and you are still together to help each other through it. You deserve peace and happiness. I know it must feel like an impossible goal right now, but I pray that one day you will find it.
Welcome to the new ladies - I'm glad you found us. Thanks for jumping in to support our ladies who needed a shoulder this week. I hope you'll find the same comfort and support here that we all enjoy.
Ladies, I would like to point something out, so many of you have written that you dont know what your reason for being here is, if you can have a baby then what are you doing here. Did any of you ever think that right now your purpose here is to help women just like us? So many times you pick each other up and hug each other and that is how we all keep carrying on. Without the love and support that YOU ladies provide each and every day, a lot of us would have thrown in the towel on TTC and would have missed out on our dream. I just thought i would let you all know, you do have a purpose your all my friends!!!! And without all of you I would have lost my head a long time ago!!
OMM, I LOVE THIS.
Thank you for that. We are all so focused on the end game that it's easy to lose sight of the good things going on in the midst of that. Thank you for reminding us.
Hi girls! I hope everyone had a great weekend.
I just wanted to pop in and say I'm going into lurking for awhile. I've noticed not wanting to write much lately and realized it's not because I don't want to keep updated with you all but that my mind set just isn't in the right place and hasn't been for awhile now. I think I'm a little burnt out and just need a break from the daily thoughts of babies. I know I need to really get back on track for IVF in august so I just want to really focus on other things in the mean time.
Ginger, take as much time as you need, and know that we'll all be right here for you whenever you are ready. IVF is a big step and you owe it to yourself to be in the right frame of mind before you start. You deserve that.
Morning Everybody!
Just thought I'd pop in to say that I have scheduled my IVF/ICSI treatment for August!!! AAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH! They offered a counsellor to help me 'get my head around it'-I think that may be a good idea as I can't procrastinate like this for ever.
Dwrgi, I am so proud of you for taking that step!!!
As a fellow procrastinator, I know how hard that must have been to do, when it's the source of so much anxiety. I would definitely recommend taking advantage of the counselor.
My clinic offers it to all IVF patients as well. I think it can really help - I know it's helped me. Roll on August!!
FM, I just posted in your journal a few minutes ago, but here's another
for good measure. xoxo Enjoy your vacation - don't let the old hag ruin it for you. My favorite place to find peace in SF is the Japanese Tea Garden in Golden Gate Park - I could spend all day there - it's a place where I can really slow down and be in the moment.
MA, I'll be watching your journal and the graduates thread for a post-scan update later today. I said a little prayer for all four of you yesterday and I hope you had some peace in the day.
to you all!
