TTC 30s/40s Club

[shmoo75]

Hi :wave:

I am 33 will be 34 begining of Jan and my DH is 36 will be 37 in August. We started TTC #1 in April this year, we were really lucky and I fell pg straight away only to have a m/c 3wks later I am currently on cycle #6 of TTC after my m/c and, so far no luck. My cycles have been all over the place 35, 42, 39, 21 &, 41!!! I have taken Agnus Catus from the begining of this cycle to try and regulate my cycles. I took my last dose on CD15 as, that was when my OPK showed a really faint hardly there test line so, fingers crossed I either get pg or, my cycle is closer to a "normal" 28 days. Really glad I have found this thread so, I know I am not the only over 30 TTC my 1st. Hope you are all doing well and, I will try and hold off testing until CD28 which will be the 18th.

 

[tansey]

well ladies if i don't get the BFP this next cycle i will be 37 when i have no1 or if i get bfp but baby is a bit late i will be 37!

 

[flora]

Hi!

Glad to find you all. I never felt old until I started ttc a couple of months ago!!

I have loads of questions I want to ask you all, so I'd better tell you a bit about myself first:

I'm 34 (and a half), as is my OH. We've been married 2.5 years and it's our first time at all this baby stuff. From a very young age I said I never wanted children, and this only started to change a couple of years ago (if that). Am I weird?

Are any of you late starters for this kind of reason?
If you are TTC#1, do you consider yourself to be 'late' starting a family?
If so, do you know why you didn't start sooner?
How old was your mother/grandmother when they first had a baby?
How do you feel about ttc for the 1st time at this moment in your life? Any regrets? Or the opposite?

thanks for sharing, if you feel comfortable doing so.

flora

 

[ellie]

hey flora,
not sure if i'm the best person to reply as i haven't had much luck so far, but for what it's worth!
am now 36 and oh 37. i always said i never wanted kids too, right up until i was about 30 (hahah biological clock anyone...) however i was in a relationship where (in hindsight) i had never thought of him as being a dad to my babies. we split up at about that time (and very recently have found out that he has sperm problems .... hmmm maybe i 'knew' that somewhere?!?) been in current relationship for 6 years and have benn making it very clear that i wanted babies for about 4 - 5 of those, although he wants kids too he had never felt 'ready'. pressured him into trying last year, sadly m/c'd but about ready to try again in the new year. in the meantime have got a new (and better) job, moved house, so much of the stress and uncertainty we had had before has now lessened and i feel we can concentrate more on the baby plans.
anyway, to answer your questions - yes i do feel old and have felt huge surges of panic about leaving it too late. i really wish we had started ttc a few years ago but he didn't want to, and i guess we are in a better situation now. however this has meant more worry about the 'age thing' (even though a few of my friends, same age and older, have recently had babies very easily.) my parents were relatively 'older' (for the time), having me at 28/35 (my dad's 7 years older than my mum), so it's not so much of a precedent in our family. my (younger) brother and his wife don't have kids either but are trying to adopt (not sure for what reasons), they have always said they definitely didn't want kids either but are now 33 so i wonder if they're having the same feelings.
So, yes, I do regret not trying sooner, however at this age I feel much more secure in myself and my relationship, I am no longer interested in going out partying so don't feel I would have to sacrifice a 'lifestyle' in having a baby, in fact I can't wait to devote myself to a baby.
Long answers sorry! not sure if that's any help! thanks for sharing your story

 

[flora]

Hey Ellie,
It was great to read your message, thanks so much. It's really interesting to hear about your general life situation, and also about other members of your family. Perhaps your own family (of origin) has quite a bit impact on when you end up TTC? My mum was considered very old when she had me (her first) at age 32, and then my brother at age 34. And HER mother (my grandmother) was positively ancient, having my mum (again, her first) at age 35!! And then she had 2 more!!!! Apparently this was quite extraordinary in the 1940s. Someone once suggested to me that perhaps the women in my family just do the whole baby-making thing in their 30s, and it's a genetic/inherited thing.... here's hoping!!!!!!

On the other hand, a bit like you, I am for the first time in my life, this year, in a really stable & secure place, just moved house to a lovely area, both of us in steady jobs we enjoy, and I honestly don't think the time was right for me before. I know just what you mean about not feeling you have to 'sacrifice' a lifestyle.

Looking forward to hearing some more stories of TTC#1 in the 30s...

f

 

[Mair]

Hi Flora,

Like Ellie, I haven't had much luck lately either but I'll let you know a bit about my ttc situation. I'm 38, nearly 39 (eek!!) and have been ttc since December last year. I actually fell pregnant in October, but quickly miscarried. I'm hoping it doesn't take too long to get a BFP again as I'm aware that time definitely isn't on my side. Having said that, like you I grew up never wanting children until I hit 34/35. I'm not too sure why I changed my mind then, I suppose I had a long hard think and realised it was now or never lol! It's easy to say never when you're in your 20's! It wasn't a good time for me to ttc when I was 35 as my husband and I moved to France and had a problem with healthcare (a very long, boring story) so ttc was put on hold for a few years.
Whilst I do consider myself late to be trying I have absolutely no regrets as becoming pregnant before 35 would not have been good for me as I certainly wasn't ready for it (sometimes I'm still not sure I'm ready, even after the miscarriage). Like Ellie I have a couple of friends who recently had babies in their 40's without any problems.
With regard to my mum, she had a miscarriage when she was 31, my older sister when she was 32 and me when she was 34. She was definitely considered an older mum at the time. It seems miscarriages and being an older mum runs in our family!

Sorry to have waffled on. I wish you loads of luck with your ttc journey (I hope it's a quick one), and don't worry you certainly wont be the oldest mum at the school gate!

Mair

 

[MrsJD]

Hi,

I'm 38 and DH is 28. I have a DS who's 12 to my first husband we been TTC since January 08. Miscarried July 08 (9 weeks) & November 08 4W 2D.

Woke up this morning feeling sick, went to Asda on my way to work, bought a test and it was a BFP.

loving this site, only joined the other day and it's full of really good info.

JD

 

[ellie]

CONGRATULATIONS Mrs JD!
yes, i've also found this site really useful and supportive and has given me loads of hope!

 

[jonnanne3]

I am 36 (37 in Feb) and my DH is 31 (32 in March) We have been ttc since May of 2007 after a tubal reversal. I have 3 children from my first marriage and dh has none although he has been raising mine as his own for 9 years. We had our first bfp in Feb this year and sadly mc in March. We had our second bfp in June and mc in July. We had a very unexpected bfp in Sept (CD8, 3 days after af, hence the unexpected) and mc in Oct. Now we have started Clomid on CD 5 thru 9 and progesterone after ovulation. I also take prenatal vitamins and baby asprin every day. I hope that helps and good luck ladies! Hopefully Santa will give us the best gift in the world....... a baby!

 

[Irish_eyes]

Hello everyone, I'm 31 and dh has just turned 33. We have only been seriously ttc this mth. We have been married for 3 years and have ttc on a few occassion but have given up as we weren't too serious about it or something has come in the way of ttc. But this time we are def going for it.

I am from Northern Ireland and I also have high prolactin levels which I am taking bromocriptine for so hopefully that doesn't stand in the way.

Good luck to you all and loads of baby to you!

 

[Erzulie]

I'm 34 and OH is 33, we're ttc no1, this is our first cycle.

Interesting questions flora!


Are any of you late starters for this kind of reason?
we're late starters as it's taken ages for me to persuade him
If you are TTC#1, do you consider yourself to be 'late' starting a family?
No, not that late really - a lot of our friends are similar ages and at a similar stage.
If so, do you know why you didn't start sooner?
I suppose it never felt quite right - we weren't settled for one reason or another.
How old was your mother/grandmother when they first had a baby?
my mum was 32 when she had her first, 35 when she had me, her mum was 29 when my mum was born (she was my grandmothers first). My dad was 40 when I was born - his mum was 40 when he was born and 34 when her frist was born - so I guess I come from a long line of "older" mums, especially for the times iyswim.
How do you feel about ttc for the 1st time at this moment in your life? Any regrets? Or the opposite?
The opposite, we're at the right time now, our marriage is strong, we are in a nice house and we both have good stable jobs. I've wanted a baby for so long, but it definitely feels right now.

 

[Loo]

Good luck and welcome x

 

[ellie]

it's really interesting reading everyone's stories - thanks to flora for the questions!

Just wondering if anyone felt they 'swing' between feeling okay about ttc 'at our age' and panicking about 'leaving it too late' etc? sometimes when i read the TTC section (no-one in particular but there is a thread at the moment!) it's full of people in their late 20's / early 30's panicking about being too old, being 'aged mums', not being able to conceive 'at their age' etc.;.... i know we can do our best to be fit and healthy but sometimes reading this from much younger women than me (at 36) gets me massively worried .....
i can try my best to be healthy, eat/rest properly, exercise, take multivits etc ...... but that nagging thought is still there, that i might have 'left it too late'. which is a horrible feeling.

it's good to read the success stories though, which give me a bit of hope! I guess I was just wondering where others were at with this.

 

[twinkle]

Hi there, I am 42 and so is very gorgeous very new hubby...only got married on 15th Nov 2008, but have been trying to conceive since aug 2007, had a dye test done and it was very badly done...was told i could never have children as both tubes totally blocked!!! My consultant said she wanted me to have another one done...and a lap at same time as sometimes tubes can spasm and look blockages...i really didnt want too. But i had it sone on 15th dec...and guess what...everything perfect!!! i do have low progesterone..but this can be sorted...but i am having day 1 to 3 fsh test to see about low ovarian reserve cos of my age...but fingers crossed might not need to have it done as in 2ww now ! did opk on xmas eve and was positive so BD that day and xmas day...not after that though as poor mum terminally ill and ended up in hospital...so have nothad the time. i have 28 day cycle...but ovulated on about day 18 this month so expecting period to be a little later thatn norm, so wont get hopes up yet, but have been having wierd cramps, like i need yhe loo...and past 2 evenings have been feeling sick..but wont get hopes up as its probably the over indulgence over Xmas!!!

Good luck to all of you in your 2ww, cant wait to hear of some BFP !!!!xxx

 

[Yvie]

Hi everyone! i'm new to the site, newly Married on August 2nd, I'm 31 and he is 37. We are on cycle 2 on our TTC #2. Hoping 09 will be a better year for us as we have had rough time last couple of years.

 

[Mork]

Hi all! We are both 32 and TTC together for the first time ~(hubby has 2 children from 1st marriage). Just joined the forum tonight and REALLY confused over all the abbreviations (got TTC though!!!) Can anyone help - please!!!!!!!!!!!
Mork x

 

[Loo]

They will soon all be second nature!

Go to the BabyandBump main page (use the underlined baabyandbump in the toip left hand corner)

then find the forum help and testing bit

and then a subheading in there is lingo and abbreviations

that thread lists everything you need to know!

Good luck hun

 

[Mork]

Thanks Loo!!!! This is all so new to me!!! Hope no one thinks I am dim!!! x

 

[Loo]

Don't be silly - we all felt the same when we first joined!! So noone will think you are dim.

Some of the abbreviations are guessable...but I remember thinking 'bloody hell i could never have guessed that!' about some of them....like AF (aunt flo - period)!!!

 

[Lol78]

Hi there, I'm a newbie. I'm 30, so is my husband. We have been TTC #1, now on cycle 9.

I'm feeling pretty down with the whole thing right now. I'm hoping to meet some people who understand and hopefully to cheer myself up a bit!