ttc after a d&c

[mommylov]

hi girls im still lurkin love u all im gonna come on properly tomorrow and say hi xxx

:wave:

 

[mommylov]

I am so sorry to vent ladies. I almost feel like leaving my husband. He is so damn insensitive, I am not even sure if I want to have another child with him anymore. He comes home today I tell him I am not pregnant, that I got another negative test, and he just walks off like he doesn't give a damn, and treats me with coldness the rest of the night. He doesn't talk to me, and when he does only answers any question I ask him, and he answers very coldly. He doesn't even seem to give a damn that a am very emotionally vulnerable. And believe me, its not because he is sad or anything about me not getting pregnant. He doesn't even seem to care about ttc or anything. He is very apathetic at times, and I have always struggled with him about this. And yes, I think it has something to do with the screwed up people who raised him. But I shouldn't be the one to suffer because of that. I just got into a big fight with, I even told him I feel suicidal, and he seems to not care. I feel he should be one of my biggest supports right now, and he isn't. I don't even know what to do anymore.

Oh Jessica, first off no suicidal thoughts! Although we have never met, you have given us the pleasure of getting to to know you and establishing a great friendship. The world wouldn't be the same without you. Big hugs Hun! Did he just come home from work upset about something? Maybe something happened to him today? I hope you are able to get him to talk and share what's going on. Please don't think you are alone or that no one cares, we do! And don't ever apologize for venting, we are here for you!

Thanks for the encouraging words Amy. Sometimes I just feel so darn desperate. I am just mad that I couldn't get bfp this cycle, and after all the problems with my hubby with the bding and him being difficult and all. I was actually scared to not get pregnant, in fear that this next month when it is ttc time, he is even more difficult. You are right about something happening to him. He has a very stressful, high demand job, basically works around a bunch of idiots, and then he brings that stress home, instead of leaving it at work. But he screwed with the wrong person last night! Thanks for caring Amy! You really helped me a great deal.

Im so sorry hun.. about it not being our month in Sep, Im kind of ok. Id like to think the next time it happens for us, we will have a healthy bean

So something did happen at dh job? Did he talk to you about it?

 

[jen435]

Angel thats sooo awesome!! How far are you from virginia beach? Have you ever came up to vacation in the poconos or upstate NY? My DH doesnt understand why ppl down there come here for the nature forest and whatever else they enjoy! I love my area but I love beaches down south much better!

Ireland would be a DREAM! I would have to stay a week if I went that far away! My DH and I are Irish and my pop was from there. I also remember he had bank accounts there because when he passed away we had a heck of a time getting the money back to the US. A girl visit would be awesome!!

Jessica Im always here for you! Men are so insensitive to us emotional women and we have every right to be irrational! I just really think that you need "You" time like Laura said. Thats why I think counselling but be the ticket. I know it works wonders for me because I went when I was younger.

UPDATE: So calling the doctor and being demanding worked... I was ordered a script for bloodwork to check my levels.... I was also asked to come in tomorrow for an ultrasound. I said I couldnt tom so they scheduled me for friday. I mean im only 5 wks from my last mentrual period... but I ovulated late so maybe im only 4wks 5days at most by friday... I dont think they will see anything and then ill just be worried all over again...What do you ladies think?

 

[aaronswoman79]

Jen, I totally agree. And it was ridiculous all the different bills there are! I had one from the anesthesiologist, one from the lab, one from the clinic that I had been attending and one from the hospital. Crazy. And I had to call on *all* of them!

Jessica, I am so sorry dear. I know how hard it can be when you need them and they are too busy being pissy because of a perceived slight. Men are so less than perfect
Right now, things are dark for you. But you don't want to end your life and leave your girls alone to deal with his coldness in the future. And I think that you have more babies that will come to you. It is just hard to feel that way when you feel so empty inside every day. But you will be whole again, I promise. We love you and are here to support you

Thanks u so much for your wisdom Bethany. You really are wise beyond your years. You are right about men though. They really are very weird creatures. lol. And you are right about leaving my daughters with his coldness. He does have some serious issues that he has already acknowledged, but has yet to change. It all stems down to having the same mindset he was raised with. That to show emotion and affection, is a weakness, and that his pride is the most important thing. His mother once said, "I am proud of being prideful." I feel sorry for people like that. I was raised around 2 parents that were so humble and the opposite of that. It is very hard to relate to him at times. He has changed a lot with the pride, but still not enough. Funny thing, when he was a Mormon, he was a straight arrow Mormon, meaning he followed it to a tee, but what did that do for him, if he still had that pride and arrogance. He is not verbally abusive nor physically abusive. He is not unfaithful, dedicates all of his time to his family. But the coldness, it can be so hurtful. And I know its not me, because he struggles with this with his daughters too. During the time we were dating, he didn't show any of this. lol. He waited until after the marriage and during my pregnancy. Nice , huh. He has changed about 50% of this, but it still hurts so bad, when he is apathetic and indifferent.

 

[aaronswoman79]

jessica i second amy, thats awfull u feel so bad, big hugs xxxxxxxxx
do u have someone else u talk to, i know now that my OH aint the best talker most of the time so i talk to others and get my needs to vent sorted that way, plus i have here which is the best loves ya, big hugs xxxx

Yes, this place is the perfect place, especially because all of you understand so well since you ladies have been through mc and ttc, so we already have that in common. Thank you Laura. I hope you are enjoying every second of your pregnancy.

 

[jen435]

Jessica sorry dh brings home his work problems and takes them out there I hope you both get to talk and can get on the same page together.

 

[jen435]

Hi!! We miss you!

 

[xoxo4angel]

 

[aaronswoman79]

All of this talk about freezing foods is making me want to go buy in bulk just so I have the opportunity to try! I just read I can freeze cherries, too bad they've already gone out of season

Jessica. Right now has to be one of the most difficult times for you. You have to start getting sleep to help clear your head...you know the void, the hole, the vacuum you feel inside because of your loss? Well, your daughters will feel that 10x more if they were to lose you. Sorry your DH isn't more receptive to your needs...guess that is what we are here for! Vent away doll! Your rainbow is coming! Sending positive thoughts and the sandman your way!

Wonder how Natasha is doing? Danni, if you're lurking...:wave:

Bethany how great is it that you have sisters that teach you things about cooking...not sure I've taught my sister anything other than how to tie her shoes and ride a bike!

G'morning Laura, Jen, Amy (& colleaguezilla), Horsey...and anyone I might have missed my apologies, but

Thank you so much Angel. I should start calling your Dr. Angel. lol. You always give out the best prescription. You are right about the sleep. My sleeping is all out of whack. I know it is selfish to ever even think of taking my own life. Its just these flash thoughts that come in sometimes. When everything feels hopeless. Thank you so much for your encouragement. I don't know what I would do without you ladies. And fx for the tww. I hope you get your rainbow baby right away.

 

[aaronswoman79]

aaronswoman79, i just got caught up and read that your DH, like my DF, was an ass recently. mine is the same way and here comes the questionable part cause im gonna sound insensitive. what i noticed is that i get really sensitive around o and question whether i really want to have a baby with my DF! sound familiar? what i learned from dr. google is that there's some evidence saying that we women get insecure around that point in our cycle (around o) which is totally inconvenient right? cause we need them to step up, behave passionately and reassure us that they are the one and can be relied on to be supportive when we are in need etc. such a pain.... because it sounds like ours are the same type, where the more you care and need them and pressure them, the more they shut down and give you that bored attitude - you wanna shake em and be LIKE HELLO R YOU HUMAN IN THERE!!?!? heh. that's my take. but it sounds like alls well that ends well and you guys got quality time in. we managed to do the same. so happy 2ww you may try having a talk with him and let him on to the fact that around o time maybe he should ship shape up. maybe he cares more than he is letting on. hugs.

Thank you horseypants, Everything you said rang true to me. And the more I get look for my husband for love and care at times, it feels like I scare him away lol. Wow, your DF sounds a lot like my husband. How do you deal with it? Its like they emotionally disabled or something like that. lol. Or they just don't freakin get it. lol. I wish there was some pill we could give them to just make them behave lol. But imagine the withdrawal effect when not on the medicine, husbandzilla!! lol Thanks for being encouraging and understanding. Looks like I am about to start cycle 2 for ttc. grrrrrrrr.

 

[aaronswoman79]

jessica we r here for u hon xxxxxxx glad u found this thread too xxxxx
i tell ye things i woldnt tell my friends, this place is really speacial xx
is there any groups for moms with kids r anything u could go to in ur area?
u sound like u give alot of urself and dont take much time out for u, maybe u need to give urself a break and dont be too hard on urself. u do a lot and im sure there are loads of people who care for u and would be there for u if u can let um in a little, i know its hard if ur out of practise but its worth it
hoep u dont think im speaking out of turn xxxxxxx i mean well xxxxxxxx

Not at all hon, you girls could never speak out of turn. I NEED your feedback and most importantly, your friendship. Interestingly we are so spread out and live so far away, yet have found such close friendship, something that is hard to find with some of the people closest to us.

 

[aaronswoman79]

Im so sorry hun.. about it not being our month in Sep, Im kind of ok. Id like to think the next time it happens for us, we will have a healthy bean

So something did happen at dh job? Did he talk to you about it?

Thank hon. My husband has had a streak of bad luck with jobs, its really competitive out here and he has had some co workers from hell. lol. You know, the backstabbing, psychopathic kind. lol. But hopefully all will be better soon. Thx for asking!

 

[aaronswoman79]

Angel thats sooo awesome!! How far are you from virginia beach? Have you ever came up to vacation in the poconos or upstate NY? My DH doesnt understand why ppl down there come here for the nature forest and whatever else they enjoy! I love my area but I love beaches down south much better!

Ireland would be a DREAM! I would have to stay a week if I went that far away! My DH and I are Irish and my pop was from there. I also remember he had bank accounts there because when he passed away we had a heck of a time getting the money back to the US. A girl visit would be awesome!!

Jessica Im always here for you! Men are so insensitive to us emotional women and we have every right to be irrational! I just really think that you need "You" time like Laura said. Thats why I think counselling but be the ticket. I know it works wonders for me because I went when I was younger.

UPDATE: So calling the doctor and being demanding worked... I was ordered a script for bloodwork to check my levels.... I was also asked to come in tomorrow for an ultrasound. I said I couldnt tom so they scheduled me for friday. I mean im only 5 wks from my last mentrual period... but I ovulated late so maybe im only 4wks 5days at most by friday... I dont think they will see anything and then ill just be worried all over again...What do you ladies think?

Jen, what day in your cycle did you end up oving? How late did it happen? Did you use an opk?

 

[mommylov]

Im so sorry hun.. about it not being our month in Sep, Im kind of ok. Id like to think the next time it happens for us, we will have a healthy bean

So something did happen at dh job? Did he talk to you about it?

Thank hon. My husband has had a streak of bad luck with jobs, its really competitive out here and he has had some co workers from hell. lol. You know, the backstabbing, psychopathic kind. lol. But hopefully all will be better soon. Thx for asking!

Oh no!!! FX for him! For you too.. hang in there!

 

[lilesMom]

Angel thats sooo awesome!! How far are you from virginia beach? Have you ever came up to vacation in the poconos or upstate NY? My DH doesnt understand why ppl down there come here for the nature forest and whatever else they enjoy! I love my area but I love beaches down south much better!

Ireland would be a DREAM! I would have to stay a week if I went that far away! My DH and I are Irish and my pop was from there. I also remember he had bank accounts there because when he passed away we had a heck of a time getting the money back to the US. A girl visit would be awesome!!

Jessica Im always here for you! Men are so insensitive to us emotional women and we have every right to be irrational! I just really think that you need "You" time like Laura said. Thats why I think counselling but be the ticket. I know it works wonders for me because I went when I was younger.

UPDATE: So calling the doctor and being demanding worked... I was ordered a script for bloodwork to check my levels.... I was also asked to come in tomorrow for an ultrasound. I said I couldnt tom so they scheduled me for friday. I mean im only 5 wks from my last mentrual period... but I ovulated late so maybe im only 4wks 5days at most by friday... I dont think they will see anything and then ill just be worried all over again...What do you ladies think?

jen i had a scan last week cos i already was booked in for gynae scan to check for fibroids few months ago, they only can see if its in the right pplace and no fibroids which is good, they cant tell much else at this stage, if they could i be in private clinic tomor

 

[lilesMom]

The mango sorbet is incredible. Can I move in? and holy crap my hubby is a Ben & Jerry's fan too. Specifically for chunky monkey but he bought schweddy balls when that was available. For giggles but was tasty too!

Hey, I am so glad that I am not the only one who hates to shower. I love being clean but the process feels like effort when you'd rather lounge right? Do you like rainy days? If you go to your appointment you should take advantage of the weather and nap afterwards

Cinnamon raisin bagels with pumpkin spice cream cheese. I LOVE FALL.

Schweddy Balls! I missed that flavor...maybe it was for the best! Haha! I love the fall too!

Man, I am soo jealous! I want to be at home and not showered ...being at work all clean and showered blows ! lol Rainy day sounds nice ! Its finally feeling like fall here.. I love it !

Bethany, Im so there!!! Can we all just get on a plane and ditch whatever we have to do today? I vote Ireland! We can be there for a few hours, hang out and then get home in time to make dinner right? We just have to find a REALLY fast plane!

Colleaguezilla is actually plesant to deal with today which is great... my STUpivisor on the other hand, I feel like throwing that dingle douche off a cliff today. I rarley have to deal with him but when I see his humpty dumpty ass walking down the hall with such a pissy look on his face, I just want to hit him! lol

do please come here, i would love to hang out with people who get how i feel and dont pressure r say dumb things xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
will ye come if i buy loads of ice cream, il get all ur faves

Yay for colleaguezilla behaving today Amy!

Laura I'll only fly over if you get sorbet! Lol! Ireland is on my list...I've traveled heaps, but want that stamp in my passport. I have more of a drive to go now after watching Sons of Anarchy! Haha!

Acupuncture...I had a true phobia of needles (Belonephobia). I would have physical reactions to seeing them...sweating, increase hb. I guess after 2 mc and wanting a baby so badly, I've tamed it. Acupuncture doesn't use needles like we think of, they are tiny and I normally don't feel them. Today I felt the one in my foot and she adjusted it. It's really relaxing and I enjoy the 45 minutes of uninterrupted silence!

has let up, so I'm going to sneak a quick walk/run in! In the meantime, do any of your DHs (DFs or OHs) lecture you on foods and vitamins? Ever since I've ovulated he won't let up! I avoid synthetic and used whole (real) food vitamins, so what gives!?! Maybe he is on his AF? Better him than me!!

I'll be back!

Hi Danni!

Jessica

would def get sorbet, its yummy

im not too bad now with needles, i was always ok ish with injections but for blood tests i used to sweat , feel faint and get all woozy , ive had so many recently im cured of that,guess facing ur fear really does work enjoy ur walk/run xxx
the liver consultant told me not to take any vits or fish oils r anything, she said they r just one more thing for the liver to process and i dont need um. only thing im taking now is super folic acid xx

 

[jen435]

Laura wow your body must produce many nutrients it needs. Good thing for folic acid. So they saw ur sac and yolk?

Jessica yes i used opks (digital pks) and got pregnant cd 21 i assume... I am used to ovulating cd 14-15 but thanks to cb and first response yes/no we dtd right day. Doctor here goes by LMP so now i have to prove them i know im a week early with my edd.... I want it to be moved to june 7-8 thats more ideal for when i ovulated

 

[aaronswoman79]

Laura wow your body must produce many nutrients it needs. Good thing for folic acid. So they saw ur sac and yolk?

Jessica yes i used opks (digital pks) and got pregnant cd 21 i assume... I am used to ovulating cd 14-15 but thanks to cb and first response yes/no we dtd right day. Doctor here goes by LMP so now i have to prove them i know im a week early with my edd.... I want it to be moved to june 7-8 thats more ideal for when i ovulated

Wow Jen, so that explains your low hcg levels at the beginning, you were barely 4 weeks, since you oved late. I hope this gives us some peace of mind. I am thinking I oved late too, and me and hubby didn't bd enough . But, I learned my lesson this month. I am going to buy the opk, the first response yes/no kit. I want to foolproof this month!

 

[lilesMom]

jen u couldnt amke out anything, it was just a little lump ha ha
but it was in the right place so thats good u gonna go for U/s

 

[xoxo4angel]