ttc after a d&c

[TTCSecrets]

i had a weird but wonderful dream last night, i dreamt that i was driving home from work, and i was talking to amy on the phone ( which is weird because i am dead set against people talking on the phone while driving ) and all of a sudden, a rainbow appeared in the sky, and then another one arched off it, and then another one, until there were about 5 of them i think i remember, and they were so beautiful that i said to amy that i am going to put the phone down and send a pic to her, and i was trying to steer the car and take a picture of these rainbows on my phone, they were so beautiful, i sent them to amy and she rang me back and we were both laughing and saying how beautiful they were! Then i woke up lol! Weird but wonderful! xxxxxxx

 

[lilesMom]

natashs thanks hon, i feel better after ur words and a sleep. xx
i need my doc to ring and then i can plan cos a sof now im not sure if im styaing out or not in case ye havent noticed i hate not knowing, i like plans
i said it to my OH that i was pissed off cos work r gonna stop paying me and that i will have no money for xmas ad dto pay my loan. we have mortgage protection so i think they will pay my mortgage, i rang um and they will send claim form but the guy on the phone said it should be fine. but wont know for sure till i send it off and get answer.
we wil work it out , i think i was jus tired earlier and worry seems bigger.
we never had much money when i was growing up, things were always tight, my parents had 12 kids and were living on disabilty benefits cos my dad has a fecked up back so i think sometimes lack of money sticks in my head more so than other peoples.
i dont love money r anything but i hate thinking i may have to rely on someone else for it. and hate the thought of maybe not managing bills and stuff so well. im just a worry wart with money. im a total squirrel and prefer to pay bills and loans early and i hate when this gets interupted. least i know what is wrong with me so i can try and teach myself to get over it , i have lots of people who wouldnt see me starve ha ha xxxxxxxxxxx joke xxxxxxxxx

i like ur dream hon rainbow babies on the way xxxxxxxxx

 

[xoxo4angel]

Laura ~ Worry always seem greater without sleep! Some how these things work out. Hoping your OH realizes he needs to pitch in financially to help you ...after all, it took 2 of you to make a LO. Not your fault you haven't been cleared for work FX the mortgage protection comes through for you!

 

[lilesMom]

thanks honey, think my hormones r pitchin in today cos i just feel crappy and crampy ( mild though so should be fine ) xxxx thanks chick.
how ru doin? xxxx

 

[xoxo4angel]

Tash ~ having trouble opening your temps, but from what I can see it did drop again. What CD are you on? Hope you are still using OPKs too!

Jen ~ Hope you made it through yesterday.

Amy ~ Thinking of you.

Jess ~ Was just thinking how tough it must be to be on bed rest while home schooling! Fx you get the rest you need!

Horsey ~ I know the pain....waiting for time to work it's magic and heal me!

Bethany, Kaylee, Geegirl and Lamb

 

[xoxo4angel]

thanks honey, think my hormones r pitchin in today cos i just feel crappy and crampy ( mild though so should be fine ) xxxx thanks chick.
how ru doin? xxxx

Pregnancy hormones...love it! However, I don't love they are making you feel crappy. Take it easy today...your next scan is coming up soon enough. That will ease your mind to get a good pic of your little one!

I'm better today. Had a moment last night because everyone kept texting me updates about my friend w/ my EDD that was in labor early. DH was even texting excited for his BF becoming a Daddy. I had to turn my phone off and go on to bed. I didn't expect my DH to fully understand my grief, but I thought he could've been a bit more sensitive about it. Apparently he tried calling me while my phone was off, I think I am going to ignore his calls today. (Not productive or healthy, but I don't want to have a mindless conversation...he'll be here tomorrow.)

 

[lilesMom]

angel i know babe, poeple just dont get it, xxxxx honey, xxxxx
yeah if u feel like havin u time, take it xxxxxxxxxx maybe text him and say u r feeling shitty and wanna be left alone? xxxxxx

for those of us friends with bethany on fb, today is her bubs edd, so maybe message her if ye havent already.
bethany i hope u dont mind me reminding people if u read this, i just dont want u to feel forgotten, love u xxxxxxxx

 

[xoxo4angel]

Thanks Laura. Going to get my day started...I've pouted long enough.

 

[lilesMom]

ive pouted all day today ha ha xxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxx

 

[mommylov]

Tash what wonderful dream! I love it!!!!!!!

Awww angel, Im sorry. Im sure that is so hard to swallow right now. When DH comes home tomorrow and sees your face Im sure he will understand that this is something that you cant talk about right now and hopefully that makes him just cuddle you and love you and be there for you. Hugs and love to you hun! xoxoxo

Laura, Im sorry dh isnt seeing the struggle you are going through. Sometimes they just need a verbal nudge to let them know that we need them to step it up and be there. I really hope he understands and helps more financially as well as emotionally. As for the scan, you have to do what makes you happy and if you feel that you need to go a week earlier then you shoul dbut if you can hold off for a week and save that money that too is good but really its up to you. As for dull aches, thats completely normal. Your uterus and bub are growing so there are bound to be some aches and pains here and there. Maybe try calling the dr and see what they say about it but I really think from the sounds of it, its ok. Hugs and kisses to you...

Horsey, you got me thinking... My first dr never mentioned an issue with progesterone but the baby measured a week off. I chalked that up to me possibly O late but she never said anything like that. This new dr said that my progestrone was at about 8 when I got my bfp (about 4 weeks). Im scared now of having "bad eggs". Im going in today for followup blood work so I take it they are going to be only checking my HCG levels at this point. Then when I am done with passing, she said thats when we can start monitoring my cycle so maybe they will check my progesterone then? So much that goes into this whole baby makin gthing... sometimes it makes my head spin thinking about.

Jen & Jess... hope you girls are doing well with lo!

Hi to everyone else and anyone Ive missed :wave:

AFM~ I think I started passing at about 3-4 this morning. I felt so bad.. dh took med to help him sleep last night. He has been so tired I woke him up in the middle of the night in pain and I kept running to the bathroom (My dr wasnt kidding about waiting for the GUSH to come.. it sure was a gush!). Im still quite heavy and so I dont think its done which is fine as long as everything comes out. I took meds which took the edge off and enabled me to come to work but its so uncomfortable to be at work.. wearing a pad.. crampy... (sorry TMI) but Im use to wearing tampons so this whole "sitting in your own mess" is NOT for me Ofcourse with that happening last night, I look like a tired mess now so colleguezilla asked me if I was ok and told her what happened. I got about 2 mins before she proceeded to tell me about HER periods and HER galbladder issues. I felt like saying "I DONT CAREA BOUT YOUR PERIOD! THIS IS SO NOT THE SAME. THIS IS A MC YOU SELFISH B****! You have NO idea what Im feeling and what Im going through." She may have had heavy periods and Im not saying that she hasnt gone through scary situations but how do you try and talk to someone and tell them your experiences when they have NOTHING to do with what they are sharing with you? Thats just like us girls sharing about our losses and me coming in and saying "Oh I know how you feel.. one time my dog got really sick and we didnt knwo what was wrong with him and had to take him to the vet and then they ran all these tests and I got so upset that it made my stomach cramp really bad"....WTF?!? WTH does one have to do with the other? Ya your situation is sad but how are you comforting me or relating to me with that? Sorry, Im done venting. This is why I truely feel like you girls are the ONLY friends I have that understand and just put my mind at ease and comfort me with your words and stories... you all just get it and I love you girls for it!

I hope everyone is doing well and sorry again for my ranting but coming in here bleeding, cramping, and passing my baby while talking to colleguezilla just makes me want to go home and cry and just be alone.

 

[lilesMom]

aw any sweetie, xxxx
god she is pretty clueless isnt she ? um... even before my mc if someone was telling me their mc story i would NOT compare it to my af , jeez......... pretty dumb. xxxxxx
god i know what u mean the 2 r totaly unrelated , she hsould save that for a day ye may talk about it. not what u r needing right now.
r u ok t be at work chick? if u feel better being there for distraction then stay but dont be afraid to go home either , no one could blame u honey xxxxx
hope u r over the worst now honey xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[xoxo4angel]

Amy ~ What a trooper you are to have gone in to work! I just cannot believe colleaguezilla...did she come with a mute button? Glad things are wrapping up for you...fx the blood work comes back with the all clear! Just an FYI, or in case you're wondering what's next... my AF came within 28 days of the "big passing."

Laura ~ You can be pouty because you have hormones to blame. If I keep this up, I just come across as an unstable selfish b**ch. Happy to have you ladies who understand where my pain is coming from!

 

[lilesMom]

u soooo dont angel but thats how i feel i am today xxxxxxxx

 

[mommylov]

aw any sweetie, xxxx
god she is pretty clueless isnt she ? um... even before my mc if someone was telling me their mc story i would NOT compare it to my af , jeez......... pretty dumb. xxxxxx
god i know what u mean the 2 r totaly unrelated , she hsould save that for a day ye may talk about it. not what u r needing right now.
r u ok t be at work chick? if u feel better being there for distraction then stay but dont be afraid to go home either , no one could blame u honey xxxxx
hope u r over the worst now honey xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I really dont think she gets it. You know, sometimes there are those people that TRY and say the right thing. I know what its like to be on the other side of that convo. When my friend went through her mc before I ever did, I just felt awful for her and just let her talk. Sometimes, all we need is a hug or to know that someone cares by saying "is there anything I can do? I wish this pain would go away". With colleguezilla, I dont feel that. Yes, I am so thankful for her for bringing me home last week and getting my car with DH and thought that was so sweet of her but I dont like to answer her when she asks if Im ok because it leads to her talking about things that make me feel like I am just a baby. She always has something worse that she has gone through. To make it worse, I have to hear about them over and over and over again just to remind me that I am apparently not as strong as her because she bled more and passed out and felt labor pains. I dont always want to talk about me and if she were to bring these things up on her own, then I would surely listen but why ask someone how they are doing when all you are going to do is respond and make me feel like I am a whiney baby for feeling the way I do. I have never gone through this kind of pain and heartache. She has had her fair share of things happen to her.. more power to you. Congradulations, you win the "Ive had it worse than ANYONE" award.

 

[lilesMom]

yeah amy donno if u want to hear this cos u might not be thinkin ahead but my sil got bfp 4 weeks after passing xxxxxxxxxxxx just to offer hope in the middle of the yuckiness xxxxxxxxxx

 

[mommylov]

Amy ~ What a trooper you are to have gone in to work! I just cannot believe colleaguezilla...did she come with a mute button? Glad things are wrapping up for you...fx the blood work comes back with the all clear! Just an FYI, or in case you're wondering what's next... my AF came within 28 days of the "big passing."

Laura ~ You can be pouty because you have hormones to blame. If I keep this up, I just come across as an unstable selfish b**ch. Happy to have you ladies who understand where my pain is coming from!

Oh , good to know! So is this considered cd1 then? How do they know when you start monitoring you. She was talking about wanting to see what size my follicies are or something so make sure the eggs that are being released are nice and full. I know this is something you are going through right now so what does that mean and when do they do that?

 

[lilesMom]

oh no im gonna have to come over and gag colleaguzilla for u sweetie, it might take me awhile il have to come by boat xxxxxxxxx least il be there to give u real hugs then xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[mommylov]

Aww thanks Laura, I know that if we were to try Im pretty confindent now that we can get pregnant but I just want to know what Im working with. Is it my eggs? Are they bad? Are they not big enough? All these scary thoughts after having gone through this twice now. Did your SIL mc only the 1 time? Sorry for all the questions but I just trust you guys more than anyone else.

 

[mommylov]

Amy ~ What a trooper you are to have gone in to work! I just cannot believe colleaguezilla...did she come with a mute button? Glad things are wrapping up for you...fx the blood work comes back with the all clear! Just an FYI, or in case you're wondering what's next... my AF came within 28 days of the "big passing."

Laura ~ You can be pouty because you have hormones to blame. If I keep this up, I just come across as an unstable selfish b**ch. Happy to have you ladies who understand where my pain is coming from!

We love you Angel and are here for you... as each day goes by and the more I talk to people here it makes me so much more gratefult o have you girls. You girls just get it and I hope that you feel the same.

 

[mommylov]

oh no im gonna have to come over and gag colleaguzilla for u sweetie, it might take me awhile il have to come by boat xxxxxxxxx least il be there to give u real hugs then xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I dont want you to risk something happening to you or lo but thanks! heheh I hate to always complain about her because she does have moments where she can be very kind. Ive said it before, I chalk up her behavior to the fact that she lives without her husband so I think it has made her a brat if that makes sense. Since she doesnt have to live with another adult, she gets her way all the time whereas we all live with our spouses and have to constantly compromise and share. She lives with only one of her daughters now who is 15 (Her 22 yr old moved out for college but lives down the street) and so her teenager obv has to do what she says so all of this =