TTC After A Loss... Race for the BFP! - 211 BFP's!!!

[VGibs]

Ahhhhhh excited for a guest speaker!!!

Me too! I hate that I have my doc appt...I may miss something! haha

 

[Amos2009]

Ooh ooh.....bring on the guest speaker!!!

 

[Megg33k]

I've asked! I hope she shows up!

 

[sar35]

how exciting lol

 

[Megg33k]

She's going to do it! She's quite an inspiration... I'm excited that you're all going to get to hear her story... since I'm sure some of you probably haven't!!!

 

[puppymom32]

yay!!!

 

[VGibs]

Maybe it's OPRAH! hahaha JK

 

[Amos2009]

Ok Sis- give us a hint at least!!!

 

[Tasha]

Megg (and the rest of you) I am grateful for the support I have in here, I am just not sure what I want to do right now, I am so scared of the future, of stitches, of more losses. I think people just think you ungrateful b***h you already have three children with you, people I have talked to (not in RL as I have no one) have concluded they would stop, I just think maybe I should even though I want, no need a baby so bad!?!?!

Padbrat I am so sorry

 

[puppymom32]

Tasha,
So sorry hunni I know how bad it hurts to want something so badly. Please do what is best for you and dont worry about what others think. We are here for you whatever u decide. Big Hugs.

 

[Amos2009]

I echo what Amy says Tasha. You do what is right for you no matter what anyone else says. You can always count on us to support you no matter what you decide to do!!

 

[hedgewitch]

hi girls
i guess i am your guest speaker lol
firstly let me say i am very glad to hear of the bfp's you have been getting on here, but also let me say i am also very sad that there have been some recent losses. i am going to tell you my story now, some of you already know it some don't needless to say it is very upsetting so some of you may prefer to skip past this post and that is fine but to show you hope you have to understand and to understand i have to be honest.

WARNING: if you prefer not to know do not read anymore of this post!! it is very detailed.

i myself have been trying to have a baby with my hubby Matt for 7 years now, we have had 16 m/c one after the other all between 8-12 weeks. we then had an ectopic in august 2008 at 10 weeks and i lost a tube. i myself nearly died in the process as a main vein ruptured and i lost over 3 pints of blood into my uterine cavity

https://www.babyandbump.com/miscarriage-support/152851-17-angels-but-there-hope.html

this was posted by me two weeks before the worst day of my life.
2 weeks after this was written i went to my antenatal appointment at the hospital in the morning, it was wednesday and the sun was shining, i was in the car singing along to the noisettes, i'll never forget you, everything was perfect.
until my baby had a huge seizure and died that afternoon. not an hour after being with the doctor and told i was paranoid about the babies movements, go home and stop worrying. they booked my c section and commented on how "busy" the baby was and sent me home.
i was devastated, 7 years of trying to get to 34weeks 3 days and then to have it all ripped away from me. it was confirmed that night by the midwife and then the hospital that she had passed away and then i was sent home i then had to carry her for 3 days till i gave birth naturally on 18th july 2009, i had a 3.5hour labour with no pain relief and needless to say there were some problems as she had cord torsion, cord compression, cord stricture, nuchal cord x 3 and then a complete body wrap. she was beautiful, she was called Lilly-Maye,
we were listening to other babies being born and hearing their cries whilst we said hello and goodbye at the same time. we were then put onto the maternity ward where we saw new mummies with their babies, heard them crying and saw expectant parent with their look of excitement and trepidation, we were locked away in a room smack bang in the middle of it all. yes the door was shut but we could still hear. we spent the night with our little girl and cried and cherished the time we had with her, the midwives and doctors came and went offering their condolensces, saying how beautiful she was and how cruel it was we had lost her as they all knew what i myself had put my body through to get her. then we had to take her to the mortuary and leave the hospital with empty arms, that was the hardest thing i will ever have to do in my life. it felt like i had died too, we then had to go home and explain everything to the kids who had been waiting for their sister for 7 years, we had to take down the cot and put away her clothes as everything was ready for her.

so from that point i arranged her funeral and picked her coffin etc, again the pain kept coming, my milk came in on the day of her service and she was cremated the following day, 24th July 2009 at 9.30am, our baby girl came home tuesday 28th July in a tiny cardboard box with her name on it.

we began to heal slowly, i went into counselling and tried to pull my family back together which was difficult, my eldest daughter was devastated as she attended the mortuary and tried to wake her baby sister, my son went into himself and became angry and my youngest daughter was sheltered from it all but i will never forget the noise that left her mouth when she was told, my hubby became angry and suicidal and i was trying to deal with my own grief aswell as keep everyone together.

we decided we wanted to keep trying, how could we not after holding something so precious in our arms? seeing what we created together. so we began trying again but i was not ovulating, my body was in shock and had shut down, my hair fell out and i began menopause or so they thought, i was put on clomid to kick start it all off again but to no avail. they finally upped my dose ont he 4th round and i had a HSG also, i am now 12 weeks and one day pregnant!!! it has been a day by day process but i am happy to say all is going well to date, i never felt such relief to reach 12 weeks lol, i listen to splodge every day on the doppler and i smile, but its so bitter sweet. i miss my little girl so much but at the same time i want to be excited about being pregnant again and am not sure how to do that so every day is a milestone, we have since found out our daughter died from the incompetence of the doctors who were supposed to be taking care of me as a high risk patient, they didn't do their job properly, we now have a hefty court case to endure to try and stop this happening to anyone else so the pain keeps coming still.

some of you may think this post is way to heavy but what you need to understand is that i never ever thought i would come back from the day my daughter died, but i have, i don't know how but we as women just do it. we are strong and we have fight in us when we are at our lowest point and think we can't go on anymore, we are amazing!!! so don't give up, don't stop hoping and don't stop believing. i got a tattoo for memory of Lilly-Maye, it says..........

when the world says give up
hope whispers one more time!!

never a truer word spoken.

 

[WhisperOfHope]

hi girls
i guess i am your guest speaker lol
firstly let me say i am very glad to hear of the bfp's you have been getting on here, but also let me say i am also very sad that there have been some recent losses. i am going to tell you my story now, some of you already know it some don't needless to say it is very upsetting so some of you may prefer to skip past this post and that is fine but to show you hope you have to understand and to understand i have to be honest.

WARNING: if you prefer not to know do not read anymore of this post!! it is very detailed.

i myself have been trying to have a baby with my hubby Matt for 7 years now, we have had 16 m/c one after the other all between 8-12 weeks. we then had an ectopic in august 2008 at 10 weeks and i lost a tube. i myself nearly died in the process as a main vein ruptured and i lost over 3 pints of blood into my uterine cavity

https://www.babyandbump.com/miscarriage-support/152851-17-angels-but-there-hope.html

this was posted by me two weeks before the worst day of my life.
2 weeks after this was written i went to my antenatal appointment at the hospital in the morning, it was wednesday and the sun was shining, i was in the car singing along to the noisettes, i'll never forget you, everything was perfect.
until my baby had a huge seizure and died that afternoon. not an hour after being with the doctor and told i was paranoid about the babies movements, go home and stop worrying. they booked my c section and commented on how "busy" the baby was and sent me home.
i was devastated, 7 years of trying to get to 34weeks 3 days and then to have it all ripped away from me. it was confirmed that night by the midwife and then the hospital that she had passed away and then i was sent home i then had to carry her for 3 days till i gave birth naturally on 18th july 2009, i had a 3.5hour labour with no pain relief and needless to say there were some problems as she had cord torsion, cord compression, cord stricture, nuchal cord x 3 and then a complete body wrap. she was beautiful, she was called Lilly-Maye,
we were listening to other babies being born and hearing their cries whilst we said hello and goodbye at the same time. we were then put onto the maternity ward where we saw new mummies with their babies, heard them crying and saw expectant parent with their look of excitement and trepidation, we were locked away in a room smack bang in the middle of it all. yes the door was shut but we could still hear. we spent the night with our little girl and cried and cherished the time we had with her, the midwives and doctors came and went offering their condolensces, saying how beautiful she was and how cruel it was we had lost her as they all knew what i myself had put my body through to get her. then we had to take her to the mortuary and leave the hospital with empty arms, that was the hardest thing i will ever have to do in my life. it felt like i had died too, we then had to go home and explain everything to the kids who had been waiting for their sister for 7 years, we had to take down the cot and put away her clothes as everything was ready for her.

so from that point i arranged her funeral and picked her coffin etc, again the pain kept coming, my milk came in on the day of her service and she was cremated the following day, 24th July 2009 at 9.30am, our baby girl came home tuesday 28th July in a tiny cardboard box with her name on it.

we began to heal slowly, i went into counselling and tried to pull my family back together which was difficult, my eldest daughter was devastated as she attended the mortuary and tried to wake her baby sister, my son went into himself and became angry and my youngest daughter was sheltered from it all but i will never forget the noise that left her mouth when she was told, my hubby became angry and suicidal and i was trying to deal with my own grief aswell as keep everyone together.

we decided we wanted to keep trying, how could we not after holding something so precious in our arms? seeing what we created together. so we began trying again but i was not ovulating, my body was in shock and had shut down, my hair fell out and i began menopause or so they thought, i was put on clomid to kick start it all off again but to no avail. they finally upped my dose ont he 4th round and i had a HSG also, i am now 12 weeks and one day pregnant!!! it has been a day by day process but i am happy to say all is going well to date, i never felt such relief to reach 12 weeks lol, i listen to splodge every day on the doppler and i smile, but its so bitter sweet. i miss my little girl so much but at the same time i want to be excited about being pregnant again and am not sure how to do that so every day is a milestone, we have since found out our daughter died from the incompetence of the doctors who were supposed to be taking care of me as a high risk patient, they didn't do their job properly, we now have a hefty court case to endure to try and stop this happening to anyone else so the pain keeps coming still.

some of you may think this post is way to heavy but what you need to understand is that i never ever thought i would come back from the day my daughter died, but i have, i don't know how but we as women just do it. we are strong and we have fight in us when we are at our lowest point and think we can't go on anymore, we are amazing!!! so don't give up, don't stop hoping and don't stop believing. i got a tattoo for memory of Lilly-Maye, it says..........

when the world says give up
hope whispers one more time!!

never a truer word spoken.

i am so proud of this woman and all she has been thru she never gave up once she kept on trying and shes got there she could of gave up but she held on to that hope and she has a cheeky little splodge inside her now who hides from the doppler

 

[debgreasby]

Huge hugs to you Tasha ... i'm right there with you on the NEED to have a baby, even though i have 4 beautiful kids with me. Do what's right for you hunni, only you know how much more your heart can take. I'm only a PM away if you want a chat, or add me on FB xxx

 

[dawny690]

Tasha you do what you feel is best for you hun we will all be here to support you whatever you decide

Hedgewitch thankyou for coming and telling your story Im so glad your pregnant hun you deserve this so much and hopefully you will never have to experience again what you had to with Lilly xxxx

 

[puppymom32]

hedgewitch,
Thanks for the inspiration. I wish u all the best in this pregnancy.

 

[Nixilix]

thanks for sharing, congrats on your pregnancy and a very happy and healthy 6 months left xxxxxxxxx

No af for me yet, i've had 12,13 and 14 day lp. today is 14dpo so no doubt she will arrive tonight. lucky me... she's the only thing getting in my kinckers tonight!!! xx

 

[Vickieh1981]

Megg (and the rest of you) I am grateful for the support I have in here, I am just not sure what I want to do right now, I am so scared of the future, of stitches, of more losses. I think people just think you ungrateful b***h you already have three children with you, people I have talked to (not in RL as I have no one) have concluded they would stop, I just think maybe I should even though I want, no need a baby so bad!?!?!

Padbrat I am so sorry

I'm sorry you are feeling that way sweetie. Noone can help the desire to have another child regardless of how many they have.

I lost count of how many times I was told to be grateful for the ones I have after I lost Isabella - that's not the point.

I am sorry the news wasn't as good as you might have hoped.

Padbrat - I am sorry that it wasn't good news hun.

 

[shaerichelle]

Rach darling hugs!

Hedgewitch Wow you are truly an inspiration. Congrats on your pregnancy. Wishing you best of luck on your court case!

 

[Amos2009]

Hedge- I remember your story about sweet Lily-Maye. Thanks for coming on here and sharing your story. Congrats on your new pregnancy!