TTC after loss - over 40 - any takers? Our lucky thread - 9 rainbows and 1 BFP

[Left wonderin]

On a more serious note Becks and T all you really can do is take it one pee / day at a time . I was sooo scared pal and I wanted it so much somedays I couldn't breath !! I went to my doc who said look worrying one way or the other wont change the outcome . Your pregnant and ok today . That stuck with me so I used tell myself " today I'm pregnant and all is ok " I did this religiously every time I thought ahead . I tried really really hard to stay in the moment and I found it helped . Xxxx

 

[Serenjay]

Thank you Regina, it still don't feel real though x

When I fall off to sleep I give my boobs a squeeze (ouch) the n when I wake up I roll over to turn my alarm off and ouch my boobs hurt. Its then I think oh.... I must still be pregnant.... then I go for a wee and think.. yup so far... then dread fills me up with fear thinking.. don't start losing in work.

Somehow the stress off work takes my mind off it for a few mins a day... then the stress of work reminds me should I really be this stressed whilst pregnant?

Blah BLURGH and all that jazz...

Right lets go and see what they can go and tell me off about today xx

 

[Left wonderin]

Sj why what's going on in work ?? I HATE it when work is a stress .

 

[josie1234]

T - life is too short to deal with stress. I hope you are ok. Can't you speak to someone or find a way to deal with the stress? Easier said than done I suppose.

I am feeling relaxed today so I know I made the right decision to leave. Have to go there tonight to take pt session so hope they are not awkward with me lol. Have a good day everyone xxx

 

[Oasis717]

Regina thanks so much, if it only felt real as T says but I think were both in denial I'm not sure how to change that, its daft cause if something happens I'll be just as devastated so I'm not sure why I'm thinking this way, I've moved on from worrying about chemicals to blighted ovums cause Ihad no symptoms with that and I've not got any now really apart from slightly tender boobs and a few mood swings, I never tested more than once back in 2012 so I won't ever know what my tests did with the bo. I dunno I want to be happy I just can't! So annoying!!!! Xx

 

[josie1234]

Hope you get some happiness and belief soon Backs and T.

Went to doctors, he was lovely. I cried straight away. We discussed things and I am on anti depressants. He wants to see me in 2 weeks. Sometimes I am fine then other times I cry for no reason. Xxx

 

[dancareoi]

Hope you feel better soon Jo.

Becks and T - more sticky dust

Jenn, any news on baby Reid?

 

[josie1234]

Thanks Lisa - hope things are all good with you. How is Caitlin?

 

[garfie]

Jo - big hugs hun you're on anti depressants and I'm on injections (2 a week for the next three weeks) then one a month possibly for life - got a vitamin b12 deficiency- can also cause recurrent mc along with all sorts of wonderful symptoms

More and more sticky dust becks and t

So Im kinda thinking ttc is on hold for now - although we will always be practicing iykwim



X

 

[josie1234]

Thanks Fi, hope you are ok. It's good that you know what's wrong and getting help. I have had an hour or so in bed this afternoon. I was fine when I woke up this morning but little things just set me off for no reason. Good luck hun xxx

 

[Serenjay]

Sj why what's going on in work ?? I HATE it when work is a stress .

Im still new, I started my contract on Dec 1st, but they seem to plough things on me expecting me to know then have a go at me when I ask how to do it or do it wrong x

T - life is too short to deal with stress. I hope you are ok. Can't you speak to someone or find a way to deal with the stress? Easier said than done I suppose.

I am feeling relaxed today so I know I made the right decision to leave. Have to go there tonight to take pt session so hope they are not awkward with me lol. Have a good day everyone xxx

I spoke to someone today, im hoping that I get more support... time will tell if it happens.. and I wont be telling them about this pregnancy for a few months if it sticks.. x Glad you're feeling more relaxed, hope tonight went well xx

Regina thanks so much, if it only felt real as T says but I think were both in denial I'm not sure how to change that, its daft cause if something happens I'll be just as devastated so I'm not sure why I'm thinking this way, I've moved on from worrying about chemicals to blighted ovums cause Ihad no symptoms with that and I've not got any now really apart from slightly tender boobs and a few mood swings, I never tested more than once back in 2012 so I won't ever know what my tests did with the bo. I dunno I want to be happy I just can't! So annoying!!!! Xx

Oh heck, I was just hoping to get past the Chemical stage, when is past the Chemical stage? I only have sore boobs..look bigger..and tired.. and once in a blue moon I gag at some kind of smell.. im so scared of even having a hot bath.. still 1 wee at a time..im not having mood swings, im in a very good mood.. normally im a cow!! but im more level and chilled..strange for me... wish we could get over it Becks ..so insane we are both exactly the same day again!!! xx

Hope you get some happiness and belief soon Backs and T.

Went to doctors, he was lovely. I cried straight away. We discussed things and I am on anti depressants. He wants to see me in 2 weeks. Sometimes I am fine then other times I cry for no reason. Xxx

Thanks Jo xx I hope the pills help. Sometimes we all need a little lift. xx

Hope you feel better soon Jo.

Becks and T - more sticky dust

Jenn, any news on baby Reid?

Thank you!! xx

Jo - big hugs hun you're on anti depressants and I'm on injections (2 a week for the next three weeks) then one a month possibly for life - got a vitamin b12 deficiency- can also cause recurrent mc along with all sorts of wonderful symptoms

More and more sticky dust becks and t

So Im kinda thinking ttc is on hold for now - although we will always be practicing iykwim



X

Thank you xx
Fi I really hope you start to feel better soon and a little miracle pops along xx

I had a better day in work and less stressful, hoping i've managed more support. Im still 1 wee at a time and 4 weeks 5 days by LMP ..22 DPO. Idiot OH only went and told his hairdresser.. yes HIS hairdresser about this... I thought only women confided in the hairdresser!! >shakes head< I have to see her tomorrow as my son has an appointment in the same salon tomorrow, hope she doesn't say anything as my son does not know.

I have my 6 week scan on 9th Feb... with EPAU as my consultant wanted that done next time I got a BFP and I had to start the 75mg Aspirin as soon as I got a BFP so I have been taking that daily with my 5mg folic acid and pregnancy vitamins. Im feeling neutral.. I don't know what other way to describe it.. im not stressed/worried and im not excited.. I forget for a moment..then my boobs remind me.. I've given up coffee 5 days ago and constantly drinking hot and cold ribena... oh yes I forgot I am SOOOO THIRSTY !!!

Just off for a warm bath and into my onesie xxx

 

[Oasis717]

Well ladies I don't know what to make of tonights test, its slightly lighter than yesterdays but wider, i opened the other two pack of Superdrug tests and, hard to tell with my crappy camera, but the control is only half as dark on this test than the other two pack, dh is saying don't worry but of course I am, either my test is lighter or this two pack hasn't as much dye as the other two pack. Sob xxxxxxxx

 

[Serenjay]

Becks, they say you cant tell from doing daily tests as it can do with the amount of fluids you have drank etc that determine the tests... step away from the tests and just take it one step at a time.. at the moment you are pregnant.. maybe you just drank too many fluids? plus you cant compare dyes in a test they all alter xx

 

[Oasis717]

Didn't drink anymore T but dh has looked and agrees this two pack the control is no where near as dark, I've one left, then I'm done, I'm not buying anymore, it was OK when they were getting darker it reassured me but now its just made me worry, I still feel far too OK, I started feeling sick at 4 plus 3 with Brooklyn but I know I implanted earlier.........thank you though, this is all so much worry xxxxx

 

[tillyttc]

I would say also that the control isernt as dark Hun so not as much dye in that test try not to worry I know it's hard I did hundreds of tests nearly drove myself insane forced myself to stop ! Buy you 2 pk of digi do one on sun then one next weekend in the mean time go see you midwife mine were great with me plz go and see one after the weekend but your test look fine Hun . Xxx

 

[tillyttc]

Also my midwife offered me counselling to help with the anxiety of my losses and the thought of another loss maybe good to talk to someone who will help you come to terms with your losses and put you on the right path for a healthy happy pregnancy . Xxx

 

[Oasis717]

Thanks Tilly but midwifes in our area won't see you til 8 weeks! Its hard to see as well but the control has much less dye for sure. I'll do the last one tomorrow then try to get a doc app on Monday. I really don't want to start obsessing over these tests and I'm heading in that direction! Xxxx

 

[Left wonderin]

Becks . That is definetly a fault with the test . Not as much dye . You are just fine I'd stop testing for now and maybe do your last one one Sunday . Oh and for the heck of it get a digital just to see the words !!
Your just trying to protect yourself as you want this so much xxxxx take it one day at a time xxxx

 

[Serenjay]

Becks I inverted the pic, and you can see the 3rd test does not have as much dye in it and the test line is wider like you said, I think its ok.. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you xxx

 

[Left wonderin]

Jo Im so glad you went to the doc and are getting help to feel better did he have any opinion on AF ? Where she maybe hiding ?
What medication did you get ? Anti d,s usually take 4-6 weeks to be totally effective so don't worry if you don't immediate start feeling better .

My oh used to say that if he dropped the spoon making coffee in the am would be enough to tip him over and have a bad day . I hope you start feeling more like your old self really soon xxx