TTC after loss - over 40 - any takers? Our lucky thread - 9 rainbows and 1 BFP

[Emum]

Think i am out too. Spotting and cramping tonight at 12DPO, so expect AF tomorrow. This makes it a short cycle this month, and my LP has been varying a lot since the miscarriage too which doesn't sound all that good.

 

[dancareoi]

Creative it must be so fustrating for you, perhaps things will settle down soon for you.

Emum - there`s still hope - so FX.

 

[dancareoi]

hi guys

I am 12DPO today.No symptoms to speak of. Have done a couple of tests but both BFN's.

This is my first cycle following my first mc at 5.5 wks. We tried a couple of times only this month. Its weird I was shocked when I got pregnant but I accepted it and just presumed it would work out ...naive I suppose.

My partner is unmoved by any of the negative information I have collected along the way fee pregnancy after 40. (I am 42) He says there are always people with theories but successful people follow their own path. Kind of inspirational no? He is so lovely

Well I have decided to take his advice and be carefree about the whole thing and treat it as though we were any other couple trying to conceive with the full expectation of succeeding.

It is very exciting to read about BFP's from you girls. And I am full of optimism for everyone else who is still trying.

Good luck this month everyone and keep the good news coming

Madeline xxx

Hi Madeline welcome to our group.

I like your positibe attitude - all those good vibes can only be good for you and your DH and you TTC. I will add you to our list as TWW.

I am now 10 DPO, not really any symptons as such, but am feeling rather tired and I am weeing a lot!! I got BFN at 7 DPO and 8 DPO but have not tested since.

Usually i see EWCM and 14 days after that my AF starts - I think I OV 4 days after EWCM. this month I got a little confused between EWCM and semen (sorry if TMI) I know there are differences but I have got a little messed up, so not sure exactly when i got it.

I did OPK and got a positive on Tues 15 May and my temp rose on Fri 18 May, so i think i ov`d on 17th May, which if I am rught my AF would be due today, based on a usual 10 day luteal phase.

I don`t want to test yet, in case for some reason my luteal phase has got longer this month and my body is playing tricks!

I had MC Jan 12 and first AF was 6 weeks 1 day later - my two cycles were 31 days then 30 days and this month i am now 33 days!

I will see what the next couple of days bring!!!

FX for your BFP

 

[lilblossom]

hello Madeline, welcome...I am also 42 and we are giving it a try. Have 2 grown daughters so we aren't feeling desperate to conceive but would welcome a pregnancy.

I have begun spotting today ...as most of you know this has be a very long exhausting, frustrating, confusing cycle so am so happy to say that I believe in the morning I should be full flow and on cd 1. Halleluiah... haha.

 

[Madeline]

hi dancareoi and lilblossom thks I am sorry for your losses

I didn't realise it could take 6 weeks for AF to return after MC. My gyno told me to count the first day of MC as first day of my new cycle and I just presumed it would be a normal cycle which for me is 26-28 days. Ovulation is day 10 - 11 for me. Although this month I didn't start testing with OPK until the evening of day 11 so didn't get a positive, I presumed i missed it.

I have read that most people don't test positive until AF is missed. I think its a good idea to wait dancareoi. I have my fingers crossed for you

I am so glad you have some relief on the way lilblossom, CD1 is an exciting beginning and lets face it the fun part of the cycle lol

Madeline xxx

 

[lilblossom]

hi dancareoi and lilblossom thks I am sorry for your losses

I didn't realise it could take 6 weeks for AF to return after MC. My gyno told me to count the first day of MC as first day of my new cycle and I just presumed it would be a normal cycle which for me is 26-28 days. Ovulation is day 10 - 11 for me. Although this month I didn't start testing with OPK until the evening of day 11 so didn't get a positive, I presumed i missed it.

I have read that most people don't test positive until AF is missed. I think its a good idea to wait dancareoi. I have my fingers crossed for you

I am so glad you have some relief on the way lilblossom, CD1 is an exciting beginning and lets face it the fun part of the cycle lol

Madeline xxx

I know what you mean...I am sitting here happily drinking a glass of wine with no guilt. I really have felt in my heart that we wouldn't get our bfp this cycle with as long and weird it's been. I am actually grateful not to get it because the length of this cycle would have stressed me out too much.

So going to relax for the next 10 days then begin the opk testing again. I am trying to decide though whether to start temping again after bleeding ends. I stopped a couple weeks ago because I was way too focused on it and needed to back off. i don't want to add any stress this time around but am thinking I will temp at least til ff confirms ovulation. What are everyone elses thoughts

 

[Madeline]

hi lilblossom

I am totally in to the relax and believe its going to happen thing so enjoy that wine I have done enough of the powerless wondering whether all the negative crap I read means we will never conceive thing lol

re temping, I have never been very good at temping I found myself feeling constrained by it like I was monitoring myself all the time. but with this new attitude I think its a good idea to just do it and then think nothing else of it, let nature take its course I think i will follow your lead and start temping myself.

can't wait to hear how you go


Madeline xxx

 

[lilblossom]

hi lilblossom

I am totally in to the relax and believe its going to happen thing so enjoy that wine I have done enough of the powerless wondering whether all the negative crap I read means we will never conceive thing lol

re temping, I have never been very good at temping I found myself feeling constrained by it like I was monitoring myself all the time. but with this new attitude I think its a good idea to just do it and then think nothing else of it, let nature take its course I think i will follow your lead and start temping myself.

can't wait to hear how you go


Madeline xxx

with regards to the temping, I switched to vaginal to make it more reliable because with my allergies I tend to sleep with my mouth open quite often. Just have to make sure oh doesn't screw with my timing as he likes morning bding.

 

[Madeline]

I didn't even know you could do that. There is no doubt that having that information particularly over several cycles is good information to provide a gyno. I have limited knowledge atm of what they look for but I know the length of luteal phase is one as well as ovulation being an obvious one. I think it can also indicate problems if they exist with progesterone both before and after ovulation.

I gave up temping and took up OPK's I think though that using both is probably the best option. I kept forgetting and went to the loo first so I will have to get my timing right as well

Madeline xxx

 

[dancareoi]

I have been temping for the last few weeks, but i use an ear thrmometer which isn`t as proper BBT one and is less accurate than oral or vaginal, but it gives an idea.

To be honest though, i wish I hadn`t because I am constantly checking my temp - right and left ear as both are never the same and orally - it`s driving me crazy!!

 

[dancareoi]

Think I`m out for this month - gutted

 

[Creative]

Think I`m out for this month - gutted

Sorry to hear that! better luck next month!

 

[Xanth]

Hi Madeleine.

Sorry I can't multi quote cos I'm on my phone and I can't remember who said what now.

My cycles have been really messed up since mc. They got shorter and my LP shortened.

Sorry to the ladies that are back on CD1 we will all get there.

Not sure what's going on with me. Did another test this morning and it looks lighter. Trying not to panic, but not feeling very hopeful

 

[dancareoi]

Just done HPT - BFN and i think witch is on her way.

i am so gutted and i`ll tell you why. Every time in the past i have used OPK i have caught first time - so was so hopeful i woudl this month too.

Starting getting some pink tinged last night and today brown stringy - thought i was due on yesterday and HPT today says BFN - temp has not gone down really.

i am so upset - why hasn`t it worked - i just want to curl up in a ball and die.

 

[Madeline]

hi dancareoi i am so sorry i know it is upsetting.

hi Xanth hang in there. I hope AF doesn't arrive

No news here I refuse to test until after the day AF is meant to arrive although admittedly I am not sure when that will be if this cycle is not my usual. I will wait and see. 13DPO today and counting...

big hugs for everyone

Madeline xxx

 

[dancareoi]

hi dancareoi i am so sorry i know it is upsetting.

hi Xanth hang in there. I hope AF doesn't arrive

No news here I refuse to test until after the day AF is meant to arrive although admittedly I am not sure when that will be if this cycle is not my usual. I will wait and see. 13DPO today and counting...

big hugs for everyone

Madeline xxx

I should have waited but I needed to know, but now I wish i didn`t.

Rang DH to tell him, half an hour later he came home from work to give me a big hug.

We`re off to Euro Disney next week, so maybe just as well not PG because would have been hard work - have to try again next month.

XANTH - FX for you.

 

[Madeline]

totally been there w the testing and thats totally understandable, have a great trip away D and just forget about all this stuff for a while..so far my new frame of mind is liberating i highly recommend it

u know i think its the whole testing thing, its subconsciously a test you know where you pass or fail and thats unhealthy looking at it like that. I think we should treat our day after our AF day the new testing day and that day if there is no positive result then we are only a few days away from trying again so its not this big downer.


Madeline xxx

 

[Xanth]

hi dancareoi i am so sorry i know it is upsetting.

hi Xanth hang in there. I hope AF doesn't arrive

No news here I refuse to test until after the day AF is meant to arrive although admittedly I am not sure when that will be if this cycle is not my usual. I will wait and see. 13DPO today and counting...

big hugs for everyone

Madeline xxx

I should have waited but I needed to know, but now I wish i didn`t.

Rang DH to tell him, half an hour later he came home from work to give me a big hug.

We`re off to Euro Disney next week, so maybe just as well not PG because would have been hard work - have to try again next month.

XANTH - FX for you.

totally been there w the testing and thats totally understandable, have a great trip away D and just forget about all this stuff for a while..so far my new frame of mind is liberating i highly recommend it

u know i think its the whole testing thing, its subconsciously a test you know where you pass or fail and thats unhealthy looking at it like that. I think we should treat our day after our AF day the new testing day and that day if there is no positive result then we are only a few days away from trying again so its not this big downer.


Madeline xxx

It's such a rollercoaster ride isn't it ladies. There seems to be more of a rush as well because of our age (or is that just me?)

Madeline those are wise words

I tested again this afternoon and the test is darker so feeling a bit more positive. I'm 4 days late, have had loads of BFP,s and I'm STILL waiting for something to go wrong.
What is wrong with me??!!!

 

[dancareoi]

hi dancareoi i am so sorry i know it is upsetting.

hi Xanth hang in there. I hope AF doesn't arrive

No news here I refuse to test until after the day AF is meant to arrive although admittedly I am not sure when that will be if this cycle is not my usual. I will wait and see. 13DPO today and counting...

big hugs for everyone

Madeline xxx

I should have waited but I needed to know, but now I wish i didn`t.

Rang DH to tell him, half an hour later he came home from work to give me a big hug.

We`re off to Euro Disney next week, so maybe just as well not PG because would have been hard work - have to try again next month.

XANTH - FX for you.

totally been there w the testing and thats totally understandable, have a great trip away D and just forget about all this stuff for a while..so far my new frame of mind is liberating i highly recommend it

u know i think its the whole testing thing, its subconsciously a test you know where you pass or fail and thats unhealthy looking at it like that. I think we should treat our day after our AF day the new testing day and that day if there is no positive result then we are only a few days away from trying again so its not this big downer.


Madeline xxx

It's such a rollercoaster ride isn't it ladies. There seems to be more of a rush as well because of our age (or is that just me?)

Madeline those are wise words

I tested again this afternoon and the test is darker so feeling a bit more positive. I'm 4 days late, have had loads of BFP,s and I'm STILL waiting for something to go wrong.
What is wrong with me??!!!

totally been there w the testing and thats totally understandable, have a great trip away D and just forget about all this stuff for a while..so far my new frame of mind is liberating i highly recommend it

u know i think its the whole testing thing, its subconsciously a test you know where you pass or fail and thats unhealthy looking at it like that. I think we should treat our day after our AF day the new testing day and that day if there is no positive result then we are only a few days away from trying again so its not this big downer.


Madeline xxx

Thank you for that - i know i should try and be positive and agree with you XANTH i think it seems more frantic because of age - I just feel it`s another month lost, another month older meaning it will just get harder. it`s looking good for you

i should be thankful that I already have 3 clever, healthy,beautiful children and I am, but that doesn`t stop the overwhelming need to be pregnant again and have another baby.

Trying to be positive, if i was PG i would have worried the whole time we were away that something would go wrong and that i would be overdoing. Maybe the break will be what we both need to try and relax and forget about things for a while and start afresh next month.

Madeline, I am keeping everything crossed for you and sending lots of baby dust your way, Lisa xxx

 

[Creative]

I think the age thing is a huge pressure. I feel guilty, I half read a post at the weekend where a lady who had been trying to conceive for eight years was upset at the fact that those ttc were becoming stressed after a few months. I know I too am blessed with three wonderful children, but when I was sent my surprise only to have it taken away again it opened such a yearning in me. I have a baby shaped hole in my heart, I can't get on with tasks at all and it's an all consuming desire, but how must these long term TTC feel (I couldn't finish reading the thread because my heart was breaking for them)
I think that realistically I only have a year max in which to conceive before the ticking clock calls time.