TTC after loss - over 40 - any takers? Our lucky thread - 9 rainbows and 1 BFP

Discussion in 'TTC After A Loss' started by dancareoi, May 9, 2012.

  1. lilblossom

    lilblossom Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    1,066
    Likes Received:
    0
  2. dancareoi

    dancareoi 2 DS 2 DD 3 Angels

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    3,041
    Likes Received:
    0
    CREATIVE - I feel the same as you - 3 children already, youngest of which has just turned 2 - i always wanted another one, but our little suprised increased that feeling ten fold - like you I now have a huge hole in my heart and it desperately needs to be filled.:cry:

    I will be 41 in august, but have been scaring myself reading all these things on the internet so I must stop reading and stressing.

    LILBLOSSOM - you seem really at peace with your CD1 - I am a total mess.

    I could not sleep last night for a while, due to crying. i really expected my BFP to happen atraight away, as we have never had problems before and the fact it hasn`t has really shaken me up and has scared me.

    I have all these thoughts that it`s never going to happen and i`m going to have this terrible longing feeling for the rest of my life that will never go away.

    Then I started thinkingof my lost LO - my due date is 15th June, but due to the shape of my womb I have early babies, so I was expecting this one around 2nd June - this weekend.:cry:

    This is making me even sadder - a huge step backwards for me on the road to recovery.:cry:

    I must try and take Madeline`s advice and try to be positive but it is so hard when something you desire so much seems to be beyond your reach.

    I am hoping our trip to Disneyland Paris next week will help me to relaxand try not to think about it until we get back.
     
  3. Creative

    Creative Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2012
    Messages:
    1,950
    Likes Received:
    0
    i think CD1 is a very positive thing. It's a fresh start .... good luck this month.

    Gosh, I think I'll probably be the same when it gets near my dates.
    I hope all our baby holes are filled!!!
     
  4. Madeline

    Madeline Guest

    hi Xanth I think it so makes sense that you would be testing over and over. The reality is that you have your BFP and that is absolutely wonderful news :happy dance:

    After having had a mc I know it is hard not to b cautious about wat will happen next. I guess you just wait out the next couple of weeks, get past that little date and then make it to 12 wks healthy and well. Most of all I think you have to believe its going to be fine :hugs:

    Hi dancareoi, thks I have everything crossed for you too I am a long long way from giving up on us succeeding at this ok :hugs: i know its not as easy as just feeling positive. I do think you need to take care of yourself and make a positive plan by getting enough exercise and sunshine everyday, i know it sounds trivial but its really important :hugs: When we become anxious or depressed we change our biochemistry and make it unfavourable to conception.

    Its wonderful that you are going away there is nothing like a change of scene to lift the spirits have a wonderful wonderful trip and enjoy every moment bon voyage! :hugs:

    Creative I agree the age thing adds pressure and it is really overplayed because of course in the end plenty of younger couples cannot conceive and plenty of older couples do. I have my fingers crossed for you :hugs:

    Oh Lilblossom! thats fantastic news :hugs: I am a few days behind you hopefully I am 14DPO which is day 24 of a 28 day cycle for me so hopefully CD1 is in 3 days for me I can't wait :)

    thks everyone for being so open and brave about how you are feeling it makes me feel brave too :hugs:

    Finally :dust::dust:

    Madeline xxx
     
  5. dancareoi

    dancareoi 2 DS 2 DD 3 Angels

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    3,041
    Likes Received:
    0
    Madeline, your words have made me cry - you seem to say just the right things and you seem so positive about everything.

    i do wander if all my upset over the last few months has upset my body a little, i have never in my life been as sad for such a long time and it makes sense this could interfere with things.

    Problem is i am so down again now because of this and baby`s due date. i was telling DH what you were saying yesterday about being positive and he is in agreement. I know you are right and i am hoping over the next couple of days i come round a bit.

    our holiday will be just at the right time, hopefully we can switch off and relax. we are due back on 9th june and I think my next OV will be about 10 days after that, so hopefully i will be all relaxed and ready to go.

    In one way, i was worried about being PG this month, because if i was when we went away I would have been worrying the whole time that i was doing too much and that I may MC because of it.

    Also I am due back to the hospital on 19th june to get results for lots of blood tests that were taken in May, so maybe it wasn`t meant to be this month.

    Hopefully next month i will be all refreshed with plenty of sun.

    I have also been trying to lose weight since my MC and have so far managed to lose about 16 pounds, so hopefully that can only help things as well.

    I am keeping my FX for your BFP.:hugs::hugs::hugs:
     
  6. Madeline

    Madeline Guest

    Ohh Dancareoi :hugs: if you have a chance before you go get a thai massage I think you need it :hugs: d u think your hormones are a bit messed up? that might be affecting your mood as well. I know I struggled feeling a bit depressed to be honest during and just after the mc. I found exercise really helped to get me through it. But a massage is a great way to get relief as well :hugs:

    Hey 16 pounds is a fantasic achievement yay for you :happy dance: thats an awesome effort :hugs:

    Madeline xxx
     
  7. dancareoi

    dancareoi 2 DS 2 DD 3 Angels

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    3,041
    Likes Received:
    0
    i think my hormones may be a bit messed up so things won`t happen until they`ve settled down i suppose.:shrug:

    I was supposed to go swimming tomorrow as my son is in the creche at the gym, I then relax in the spa steam room and sauna, but as AF is here and heavy i don`t like to go swimming!:nope:

    Need to try and get myself together.

    Hopefully our holiday will sort me out!!:hugs:
     
  8. Xanth

    Xanth Mum of 3 Boys

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2010
    Messages:
    5,021
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thanks Madeline :hugs:

    dancareoi I hope you have a lovely holiday and come back feeling wonderful and refreshed :hugs:
     
  9. lilblossom

    lilblossom Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    1,066
    Likes Received:
    0
    I felt the same way as you the first cycle ttc after our loss. When we got pregnant the first time back in my twenties we had hardly started trying and the first cycle I was pregnant. Then the surprise pregnancy when we were trying not to get pregnant ( wasn 't using birth control, just tying to be careful about not letting swimmers in during fertile period)and then hearing that we are soo much more fertile right after a miscarriage I was certain we would be pregnant right away. That said, I have decided that it will happen when and if its meant to be. Its frustrating but I have put it all in gods hands. I will still do the opks at least for another cycle and will probably chart to confirm ovulation but for my own sanity this is what i need to do. Stress is a terrible thing when ttc
     
  10. dancareoi

    dancareoi 2 DS 2 DD 3 Angels

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    3,041
    Likes Received:
    0
    i think what is stressing me most, is the time restirction due to age.

    When we tried for number 1 i was 29 and didn`t know about charting or anything - first cycle i was PG.

    when we tried for number 2 at 32, again i had no idea of cycle or anything like that so pot luck really, after 4 months nothing - I then looked into things and tried OPK and got PG straight away.

    3rd PG i was 37 and we used OPK and PG straight away - MMC at 8 weeks.

    4th PG at 38- OPK and PG straight away

    5th PG accident MMC Jan 12.

    6th PG - ?????????

    When i was 32 I wasn`t all that worried it was taking time, as I had plenty of it - but now time is running out i think that is what is stressing me.

    I need to try and relax and whatever will be will be.
     
  11. lilblossom

    lilblossom Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    1,066
    Likes Received:
    0
    I definitely understand...pisses me off some really that men can basically continue being fertile into their senior years yet we have an expiration date...
     
  12. Madeline

    Madeline Guest

    hi lilblossom men's fertility definitely declines as well, sperm from men over 40 are responsible for 50% of miscarriages.

    Madeline xxx
     
  13. dancareoi

    dancareoi 2 DS 2 DD 3 Angels

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    3,041
    Likes Received:
    0
    At least it`s not totally our fault then!!:hugs:
     
  14. Creative

    Creative Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2012
    Messages:
    1,950
    Likes Received:
    0
    it's team work!!:hugs:
     
  15. Xanth

    Xanth Mum of 3 Boys

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2010
    Messages:
    5,021
    Likes Received:
    0
    I never knew that.
     
  16. Xanth

    Xanth Mum of 3 Boys

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2010
    Messages:
    5,021
    Likes Received:
    0
    Well I have no idea whats going on with me and I'm a bit fed up and depressed about it.
    My FRER today was a barely there line, so I did a digi and it said pregnant 1-2

    I'm not getting my hopes up. I think my HCG levels must be dropping and I'll probably be back on CD1 again very soon :cry: :cry:
     
  17. Madeline

    Madeline Guest

    Xanth please don't be depressed :hugs:i know it can be hard not to :hugs:

    Creative and Dancareoi you really made me laugh. Oh and it is totally not anybody's fault! well its not our fault anyway :haha:

    On a different subject. I booked myself in for acupuncture next week. I am nervous but this guy comes recommended. I also got myself in to see this fabulous guy who is expert in nutrition. I am really interested in the link between nutrition and miscarriage and in particular egg quality. Anyway the girl I spoke to when I was booking my appt said they see lots of women in their 40's and its a total misnomer that women can't have children in their forties that historically they had their last children in their late forties and early fifties. That was a nice change of pace :)

    I will let you know how it goes anyway :)

    Hope everyone had a pretty good day. I got back into yoga tonight it was fantastic I highly recommend it. I am a bit tired though :)

    madeline xxx
     
  18. dancareoi

    dancareoi 2 DS 2 DD 3 Angels

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    3,041
    Likes Received:
    0
    XANTH - hope everything works out ok - there always seem to be something doesn`t there - keeping everything crossed for you.:hugs:

    Madeline - have you tested yet or has the witch reared her ugly head? Let us know how the whole accupuncture thing goes.

    i am seeing my doc tomorrow - she has seen me every 4/5 weeks since my MC to check on how i am doing - last time i saw her I was about to go for a hospital appointment and didn`t know we would be trying again, so she`ll be pleased for me - i don`t think I will need a follow up app this time, hopefully next time i go to see her I will be actually PG!

    I myself am now on day 3 and am coming to terms with the fact it might not be so easy this time round - at least when i am away next week we won`t have to worry about being PG or not PG - I`ll try and think of it as a relaxing break for both of us and hopefully it will be just the tonic we need.

    Hugs to everyone:hug:
     
  19. Butterfly67

    Butterfly67 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2011
    Messages:
    11,377
    Likes Received:
    0
    :hi: hi ladies, mind if I join you? I am 44 and ttc #1. I got pregnant after 9 tries in January but miscarried at 8 1/2 weeks. I'm not sure how long I can keep ttcing because of my age and situation - I also only really get one day to BD during the month so I have to hope I pick the right one. BDed last night but think I am O'ing today so fingers crossed that isn't too late.

    Xanth fingers crossed for you :hugs::hugs:
     
  20. Creative

    Creative Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2012
    Messages:
    1,950
    Likes Received:
    0
    welcome Butterfly!!
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice