VENT THREAD! Things you wish you could say but can't

[wellsk]

i'm so so sorry to hear that hun. I cant imagine what your going through

Please don't want to kill me for saying this but the saying, 'the things we work the hardest for are the most rewarding'! keeps me going sometimes. i'm 13 cycles in and still hoping for that first but know what its like to keep trying and nothing. I'm still going to keep trying for as long as it takes. I hope that you get your wish hun and soon the the little bean sticks.

I agree in a way, I think that we will apprieciate every little twinge of morning sickness, every sleepless night, every moment of backache. Knowing that one day our little one will be with us. Because it has not come easy.

 

[CaliDreaming]

i'm so so sorry to hear that hun. I cant imagine what your going through

Please don't want to kill me for saying this but the saying, 'the things we work the hardest for are the most rewarding'! keeps me going sometimes. i'm 13 cycles in and still hoping for that first but know what its like to keep trying and nothing. I'm still going to keep trying for as long as it takes. I hope that you get your wish hun and soon the the little bean sticks.

I agree in a way, I think that we will apprieciate every little twinge of morning sickness, every sleepless night, every moment of backache. Knowing that one day our little one will be with us. Because it has not come easy.

This is so true. When you have to struggle to conceive, you take nothing for granted.

I have a cousin who is extremely fertile. When she got pregnant with her third baby, she announced her pregnancy the day after she took the test. It must be such a blissful ignorance to be able to get pregnant whenever you want and never have to fear that anything is going to go wrong.

 

[jcombs35]

i'm so so sorry to hear that hun. I cant imagine what your going through

Please don't want to kill me for saying this but the saying, 'the things we work the hardest for are the most rewarding'! keeps me going sometimes. i'm 13 cycles in and still hoping for that first but know what its like to keep trying and nothing. I'm still going to keep trying for as long as it takes. I hope that you get your wish hun and soon the the little bean sticks.

I agree in a way, I think that we will apprieciate every little twinge of morning sickness, every sleepless night, every moment of backache. Knowing that one day our little one will be with us. Because it has not come easy.

I also agree. It's just hard to appreciate it right now.

 

[laustiredttc]

Wow, oh to be that fertile

wellsk i have been wishing and praying for all of those symptoms, to know that every bit of it would be worth it in the end. At least we have comfort in the knowledge we're not alone

 

[wellsk]

hugs to everyone!
It's so cruel sometimes, it just seems that everyone who isn't really bothered about having children or doesn't care can get pregnant at the drop of a hat.
Whereas we would give our left arm to have children, but no, it's just 'tough' for us
At the moment I'm WTT after TTC with no luck. It's certainly taken some pressure off, and although I'm looking forward to TTC again. I'm terrified of more BFN, because it absolutely destroyed me last time

 

[wellsk]

laustiredttc, exactly!
It tears me up inside when I hear people whinging about being uncomfortable and having morning sickness, not being able to drink and smoke etc. Theres been 2 posts I've read in the last few minutes that included some of these things...
And it's just like, you have no idea what it's like to be in pain. I was wrecked emotionally, I would sit and cry for days. Grieving for the hopes and dreams that this month would be the month, for the baby that existed in my mind.
Sigh.

 

[jcombs35]

I can relate to you both. All I've ever wanted from the time I was 4 years old was to get married and have a huge family. It took 3 years and a m/c to even get one! Then you have to submerse yourself into society, where you hear about people getting preggo just by getting looked at the wrong way, are able to announce it early on because of course it will stick, and then hear them complaining about how awful it is.

 

[laustiredttc]

I do hate it when someone says something like, 'oh huni, it's just not your time yet'. That absolutely grates on me. I feel like saying, 'ok all great and powerful knowing one, tell me when its my time then'? Just pis%*& me off. I think after 13 cycles maybe my time might have been in there somewhere. Especially when i have done blooming eveything, even the supposedly brilliant "not trying" approach. I just wish they would educate people more about ttc and the hardships that women and their partners have to face. Maybe people would'nt be so damn ignorant then!!

Sorry girls had to let that one fly, getting a bit stuffy in the room with all this pent up emotion!

 

[jcombs35]

I do hate it when someone says something like, 'oh huni, it's just not your time yet'. That absolutely grates on me. I feel like saying, 'ok all great and powerful knowing one, tell me when its my time then'? Just pis%*& me off. I think after 13 cycles maybe my time might have been in there somewhere. Especially when i have done blooming eveything, even the supposedly brilliant "not trying" approach. I just wish they would educate people more about ttc and the hardships that women and their partners have to face. Maybe people would'nt be so damn ignorant then!!

Sorry girls had to let that one fly, getting a bit stuffy in the room with all this pent up emotion!

I know it! After I skipped AF in June, and really thought I was, I got AF in July. And my stupid BIL tells me what a blessing it is that I got it. There were a ton of other family members around so I had to be "polite" but I wanted to throw him over the side of the mountain I live on. Yes, it sure is a blessing to want a baby more than anything else in the world and to have all your hopes and dreams come gushing out of you like a flood. Yes, what a blessing that was.

 

[wellsk]

That's alright that is what this thread is here for.
It's like my SIL (don't get me wrong, I absolutely love her to pieces), but a couple of months ago a friend asked when me and DH were gonna were gonna have a baby (we were TTC at the time), I have never said anything to anyone so kinda just said that I wasn't sure yet. And my SIL said 'don't be silly, she's so young! They won't want kids yet!'...
And although I didn't say anything, I just kinda like, I'm sorry? Just because I'm young doesn't mean that I don't want kids now. And whats worse is the fact that everyone always seems to say 'you're young, you've got plenty of time'...
It's like, okay, so you're saying that my inability to concieve is somehow less worse because I've got much longer to try?
It's just as agonising for me as it is for anyone else, my age has got nothing to do with it!

 

[wellsk]

I know it! After I skipped AF in June, and really thought I was, I got AF in July. And my stupid BIL tells me what a blessing it is that I got it. There were a ton of other family members around so I had to be "polite" but I wanted to throw him over the side of the mountain I live on. Yes, it sure is a blessing to want a baby more than anything else in the world and to have all your hopes and dreams come gushing out of you like a flood. Yes, what a blessing that was.

Whattt?! Why on earth is that a blessing!? I would've given him a mouthful, and maybe a slap... whether there was a roomful of people or not!

 

[jcombs35]

Because he thought for us having another baby would be so awful or something. Everything in me wanted to completely go off on him, but I held it together. I swear just because some people don't have kids and don't want kids, they think everyone else doesn't either. Yes, it would be bad if he got someone pregnant. He has no job, no home, no anything. He goes from place to place staying with people. I'm sure he wouldn't want to hear that someone was pregnant with his child. But our situation is entirely different, and we want another one!

 

[tamithomas]

Dear religious people, please stop telling me "it's gods plan, just trust in him and he will provide" not everyone is religious and if anything IF has given me another reason not to be a believer! (no offence to those who are)

 

[wellsk]

Ahh, we had one of those last night on the WTT forum, telling women who'd had a misscarriage that it was God's will. And because they didn't believe they won't get pregnant, or they will only miscarry.
How twisted do you have to be to believe something like that?!

 

[jcombs35]

I am a Christian, and it makes me mad when other people claiming to be Christians talk like that. I don't believe it is ever "God's will" for a life to be lost, no matter how early on. Once a little one is conceived, it has a soul. Some things just happen. Things go wrong with our timing, with our hormones, with our bodies, and it's not something God wants. No, I can't explain why God lets it happen. While contemplating my own possible chemical, I'm thinking if it is due to severe abnormalities, then it probably is better. And I don't mean 6 toes abnormalities, I mean, no heart or brain development, or something very severe. Regardless of why, it doesn't make it hurt any less. I'm sorry someone said that to you.

 

[layla23]

Im sick of everyone telling me that i am infertile because "you work out too much, stop exercising and maybe you will get your period and start ovulating"!! I have NO idea what is going on with my body, I was on the pill for so long that I think my body is just still trying to hormonally adjust so everyone just back off. And my sister in law is pregnant and all she cares about during family events is attention about her baby bump, we know you are pregnant stop complaining and acting like you are in such misery! You should be happy you have a baby bump!

 

[wellsk]

Jcombs, as hard as it is to accept, you're probably right. I think it is normally to do with severe abnormalities, where the baby would not be able to survive growing or as a newborn. It is extremely sad, and I have so much sympathy for anyone going through it. But I think I would think that for me and my child, it would be better that way than them being born and being in pain or have serious suffering

 

[jcombs35]

Jcombs, as hard as it is to accept, you're probably right. I think it is normally to do with severe abnormalities, where the baby would not be able to survive growing or as a newborn. It is extremely sad, and I have so much sympathy for anyone going through it. But I think I would think that for me and my child, it would be better that way than them being born and being in pain or have serious suffering

That's exactly what I meant. I know it breaks my heart to see my kids hurt in any way. Having my sons circumcised was heart wrenching for me. I don't think I could bear (bare) SP? having a child who was constantly suffering. This way of thinking helps slightly when going through the "why?" stages. But I would never go so far as to tell someone it was God's will or that it was for the best.

 

[tamithomas]

It's just annoying to see the diehard Christians use your weakness such as opening up about IF as a way to sneak in recruitment for the church. I got no problem with religion, if anything I'm related to Brother Andre who is a saint at the Vadican but not every moment of weakness should be used as a way to pull people in. Again, the comment was only dirrected at the diehard christians not religious people in general

 

[jcombs35]

Well, as Christians, we are supposed to spread the gospel. Some people however take this to mean they should judge people or make them feel inferior, which is very wrong.