VENT THREAD! Things you wish you could say but can't

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive' started by laurac1988, Jun 19, 2012.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. tamithomas

    tamithomas Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 28, 2012
    Messages:
    1,403
    Likes Received:
    0
    Weird part is, I wasn't crying due to the loss because I'm at a point where I'm comfortable with accepting what happened. I was crying due to how selfish the cow was being (sorry I just don't see her fit to being called a lady). Millions of women like us would kill to be in her shoes yet she decides to be selfish like that. So unfair.
     
  2. babymabey

    babymabey Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2012
    Messages:
    450
    Likes Received:
    0
    My vent of the day. My brothers wife (I refuse to call her my sister-in-law because she is a conniving bitch) just found out she is about 4 or 5 weeks pregnant and she already announced it on facebook, and told everyone that they are going to have to deal with her posting about it 24/7. I seriously wanted to reply with "thanks for the warning, I will be unsubscribing from your updates" I also had the thought of putting "fuck off" but thought that would be a little rude. What pisses me off is she knows me and my husband, who have been together 4x the time her and my brother have been together, have been TTC for almost 9 months. I know the facebook comment was to me because I told my brother to make sure she waits to post it in case anything happens, and I also told him if he would ask her to not post every little detail about the pregnancy because my family knows I am having a hard time conceiving.

    Is it morally wrong to bitch slap a pregnant chick, even if she deserves it? Cause if I lived close to them I don't think I would have the strength not to knock her on her ass!
     
  3. brightlywound

    brightlywound Expecting #4!

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2012
    Messages:
    361
    Likes Received:
    0
    Does it count if I'm sick of myself? Lol. Ugh. I am a woman obsessed. Checking CM, CP, going over my charts constantly, reading all there is to read about supplements, ways to increase fertility, ways to lengthen your LP, symptoms of hypothyroidism (which I have become certain I have)... & Bless my husband's heart. We got into a dumb argument the other night & I stupidly said, "Yeah well. Trying to have another baby is probably a stupid idea anyway" (trying to imply I didn't want to carry any more of his spawn, lmao. Totally do-- I was just taking a stab at him). & He stopped arguing & said, "Why? Because you think you're having health issues with your thyroid babe? It's not a stupid idea. I really want this." Oy. Cut to me crying & blubbering apologies for being so awful. I'M A MESS. & I hate not having any friends to talk to about it. We aren't telling anyone we are TTC.
     
  4. tamithomas

    tamithomas Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 28, 2012
    Messages:
    1,403
    Likes Received:
    0
    That is horrible for what your brothers wife did. Not only that but telling people to have to deal with posting about it 24/7? God I hate those types of pregnant women the most!!!!! She would totally deserve it.
     
  5. tamithomas

    tamithomas Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 28, 2012
    Messages:
    1,403
    Likes Received:
    0
    Had a vent placed here that I felt wasn't needed after I posted it but dunno how to delete comments so posting this in its replacement instead.
     
  6. BlondeShorty

    BlondeShorty Pregnant with number 2!

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2012
    Messages:
    498
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hey sorry for the late reply, haven't really been online the last few days.
    What we did with her was when I walked her, I was very strict with her.. Made her sit when we were to cross the street or any time I stopped and I'd give her a treat. She was allowed to get up and walk again when I told her "ok". I also made sure I was consistent at home and kept routine with her. (not allowed her food until told ok, had about 20 mins or so each night where we'd go through commands like sit, wait, etc. just to keep her engaged, then we'd play)

    When people came by, I'd make her sit or lie down and try to distract her by trying to get her to give me a paw, etc. People usually figured out right away that she was nervous so wouldn't bother us and I'd give her treats for listening to me. .. Other times if she started growling or freaking out I'd take a treat out and hold it in front of her face or me and get her to focus on me and not what was freaking her out. Once she did.. I'd give her the treat. What I was basically trying to do was get her to see a situation she thought of as negative in a positive light. She started associating treats with other people and dogs. It took a lot of work and a lot of frustration. The payoff was worth it though.

    I'm not a fan of muzzles normally but found it helped me feel better about walking her. When I had it on I wasn't worried about her trying to go at another dog, etc. because she wouldn't be able to through the muzzle. As I felt more confident, she wasn't able to pick up on any anxiety from me so would become easier to walk. Then as I became confident that I could control her enough, I started using the muzzle less and less with success.

    DH was against a muzzle as well because he never seemed to have a problem walking her. If she got upset, he could just pull on the leash a bit and tell her enough and that was it. He's also a foot taller than me and has about 35 extra lbs on him which may have had something to do with it as well :haha:
    .. I think it was that she wanted to protect me and she could sense my unease when we walked by other people and dogs so she would feed off of it and then add to it that she was scared herself. (she was attacked as a little puppy by a bigger dog and wasn't socialized as much as she should have been which didn't help either.. so some of her reactions were purely fear based)

    I also had the muzzle and started using it when he wasn't around so he didn't even know I had it on her and by the time he did, he realized it was helping me out quite a bit.. :haha:

    Mainly we just kept being consistent.. it was hard, but it eventually paid off.

    How did the training classes go by the way? Having her around other dogs and people might be good as it'll help her socialize and get used to being around other people and dogs. She may learn how to be better at ignoring them and focusing only on you. .. Maybe ask the trainer at her class about some of your concerns and see if they have any insight as well.

    If you have any questions, feel free to send me a private message, I'd be more than happy to lend you an ear and some support with this as I know how frustrating it can be..

    :hugs:
     
  7. BlondeShorty

    BlondeShorty Pregnant with number 2!

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2012
    Messages:
    498
    Likes Received:
    0
    Dear body and brain

    Yes you had a 4 hour nap today early in the morning. This does not mean that you've had enough sleep. You are supposed to be meeting a friend for breakfast in 5 hours from now. Having some sleep before then would probably be a good idea. Especially since you want to accomplish a few other things while in town, so your visit may turn into a full day in the city. It would be nice if you were awake enough to be able to actually remember all the things you want to accomplish this time. You were in town two days ago and forgot half the stuff you needed to bring to finish up a few pesky chores. :dohh:
     
  8. thisisme

    thisisme Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2010
    Messages:
    428
    Likes Received:
    0
    i have a few rants!!

    im annoyed at myself as i am doing it again, i went onb the pill for 5 months to help sort my hormones, as soon as i came off i am convinced i ovulated, i am now 8 DPO and am convinced that since 4DPO i have had sore boobs, peeing lots etc its the only thing i think about im convinced im PG but i know that the tests will tell otherwise.

    im sick of those people who complain that they have 4 kids under 5 its such hard work, well you shoulda kept your legs shut. those people who have get PG 4 months after having a baby and then go on to comlain about it.

    (sorry these might offend some but for others they may understand)

    being told by those TTC#1 that we will never understand, we have children we should just be grateful for that. well im sorry but those urges and pain you feel for having your 1st we also have that, it hurts us the same way, the urges are still the same. i do appreciate how it feels TTC#1 as i have been there but i never once told people they should be grateful for already having their children. TTC is hard for everyone. we shouldnt judge each other just because they already have babies or dont have babies.

    the other think thats been bugging me recently (a friend who had been TTC#4 , who is now pregnant did this lol) its so hard it hurts every month we get a BFN and theyve been trying 6 months, even doctors say that on average it will take a woman a year to conceive so yes its hard when you keep getting a BFN but 6 months isnt that long. we've been trying 3.5 years and i know others have been trying even longer than that, sometimes 10 -15 years. thats when it gets hard. and too be fair the majority of the 6 monthers may well be pregnant in another month or 2 thos trying much longer have a much slimmer chance.
    im sorry for that rant but it does hurt everyone regardless to if its 6 months, 6 years etc
     
  9. Fizzyfefe

    Fizzyfefe Mama and pregnant with #2

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2012
    Messages:
    2,661
    Likes Received:
    0
    The crazy thing is that whenever I tell her to sit, she only does it for a few seconds at a time, and she will only sit in the house. She absolutely refuses to sit anywhere else in public, outside, or even in other people's homes. I don't know if she gets over-stimulated or distracted, or a combination of both.

    However, this training class last night helped immensely (or so it seemed), so I will be working with her often to see if I can change her behavior. She is food-motivated and did very well with the trainer having her sit and not growl at the other dog in the class.

    The trainer suggested this thing called Sentry Stop That!, which is a spray can with pheromones in it. Whenever she has a bad behavior, I have spray it about 12 inches way from her face. The loud noise scares her enough to make her stop, and the pheromones help her to calm down. That's what the trainer used to get her to stop growling at the other dog, and it worked immediately.

    She also suggested getting this plug-in thing when pheromones, and it apparently creates a calming effect so they don't go haywire in their crate when left alone. It was really expensive, though, so we'll see how this Stop That! thing works first. She said to put her in the crate, step outside and pretend that we are leaving, and as soon as she starts to chew at the crate to run in and spray it.

    According to the trainer, the dogs are always looking for a pack leader, or are the pack leader themselves, and it seems in our situations that both our dogs view our men as the leader. The trainer said that's fine, but she needs to realize that she is still "lower in the pack" than me, and she still needs to listen. She said women are usually the "mothering type" and are the ones that are more lenient. I do not allow her to jump on the furniture, to jump on people, to bite when we are playing, etc., and the trainer seemed shocked when I told her that I was more firm and give more discipline than my hubby.

    The other girl in the class with us actually lives in the same apartment complex, but when I asked her if we could socialize our dogs together, she didn't seem keen on the idea. She didn't come right out and say no, but I could just tell she didn't want to, you know? I was disappointed, as it would have been very easy to socialize her with another person and dog since they live so close.

    We definitely learned a lot last night. I feel like I might have more control over this situation now, but only time will tell. I have to keep reminding myself to have patience with her because of her puppy mindset. I keep telling myself that this is good training for a child.

    Holy crap, I wrote a novel. Sorry. ;)
     
  10. J_Lynn

    J_Lynn My daughter, my miracle

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2012
    Messages:
    1,160
    Likes Received:
    0
    Dear DH's ex-wife,

    If you were on fire, and I had to pee - I'd hold it.

    Love,

    Me.
     
  11. babymabey

    babymabey Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2012
    Messages:
    450
    Likes Received:
    0
    I cannot believe people are actually telling you those things. That is horrible. I remember my sister in law getting very baby hungry after having my nephew and she told me it actually gets worse after having one because you can't wait to feel that again. Unfortunately this sister in law was married to my whore of a brother who cheated on her (while they were TTC # 2) and then left her for his new wife. The one who graciously told me that she is pregnant and I will be forced to deal with her every little update on Facebook. That witch got pregnant "accidentally" or as I like to refer to it "on purpose" to get her hands on my brothers money when he finally realizes shes a psycho and divorces her and he'll have to pay child support.

    My poor sister in law (she is still my sister, even if they are divorced) was desperate for another baby, and now she is forced to be civil to the witch who intentionally broke up their marriage because not only is that witch my nephews new step mom, and has to deal with the fact that it is her who should be pregnant, not some home wrecker!

    I agree we come on these forums to speak openly and not be judged, and it is not right that you are being judged by certain women. I know from my sister in law, being baby hungry is worse after having a child, or children, than it would be for TTC #1 because you already know what it feels like, and you can't wait to feel it again.

    Good luck to all the ladies who are TTC this month!! Baby dust to all
    :dust::dust:
     
  12. brightlywound

    brightlywound Expecting #4!

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2012
    Messages:
    361
    Likes Received:
    0
    God, this is so true.
     
  13. 4magpies

    4magpies TTC #2 IVF

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2010
    Messages:
    11,523
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm sorry but this is as bad a people saying you don't need another child because you already have one.

    I'm actually really offended, I'm TTC #1 does this mean I don't want a baby as bad as you? No.

    :(
     
  14. zoomlentil

    zoomlentil Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2012
    Messages:
    257
    Likes Received:
    0
    Fizzy, training classes are a great start and I'm glad things have improved, but from what you've said she has some deep-rooted problems that really need to be seen to by a canine behaviourist. As for the person who wasn't keen on socialising their dog with yours, that's a pretty normal response to someone who has a dog-aggressive dog - they have to look out for their own.

    This is an Australian site, but it really is one of the best, and has many very experienced dog people, trainers and behaviourists on it. Sign up and ask your questions in the training section, hopefully you'll get some help.

    www.dolforums.com.au

    Also just keep in mind as on any forum, there are people on there who can be blunt about things- try not to get offended if this happens because the wealth of info available there far outweighs any other stuff. :)
     
  15. tamithomas

    tamithomas Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 28, 2012
    Messages:
    1,403
    Likes Received:
    0
    Not sure how I feel about this remark. On one hand, I see your pov but on the other hand, us on our #1 have not even been able to taste what it's like to even be parents yet so already those on #2 have the advantage on that hand. Not down grading TTC #2's, it hurts just as bad as those who haven't conceived yet but to throw the notion that it's worse is a bit far fetched IMHO. But we all have a right to our opinion and I respect yours. No harm intended.
     
  16. tamithomas

    tamithomas Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 28, 2012
    Messages:
    1,403
    Likes Received:
    0
    Vent non TTC related: Dear town I live in, stop being a bunch of alcoholics. Talking about how drinking is cool when you're 25+ is as immature as one gets. Give the liquid up already, it's not worth the heavy drowning in the long run.
     
  17. 4magpies

    4magpies TTC #2 IVF

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2010
    Messages:
    11,523
    Likes Received:
    0
    And without trying to sound harsh. Unless you LTTTC #1 you don't know how it feels because you haven't been there.

    Just as I don't know how hard it is to go through secondary infertility.

    Wanting a baby is wanting a baby.
     
  18. jojolabobo

    jojolabobo Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2012
    Messages:
    346
    Likes Received:
    0
    Very True

    xx
     
  19. CaptainMummy

    CaptainMummy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2010
    Messages:
    9,353
    Likes Received:
    25
    im ttc #2... And i think its different to ttc your first, but not in the sense that i wanted one more than the other.

    i think when ttc #2, it is slightly easier becasue i have a little monkey who is keepibg me busy, so u cant constantly think about ttc, wheras ttc#1 i had all the time in the world to think about it, which means it made time drag in!

    It doesnt mean i wanted the first more than i want another one.. Its just different =D
     
  20. laurac1988

    laurac1988 Mummy to Eden

    Joined:
    Feb 29, 2012
    Messages:
    18,661
    Likes Received:
    0
    WIsh people would stop being so judgemental. "Oh... you're going to NYC this year and Florida in Feb? Where do you get your money? I wish i had that money just LYING around"

    You think our money is just lying around?!?! No! We SAVE UP. We don't go out on the piss four nights a week. We don't buy random shit. We like holidays... and we both work damn hard for our money.

    get your nose out
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice