Jessicahide
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Ok here goes, this is very complex and i apologise in advance. I want this baby to be a girl, i just started crying actually writing that, like admitting it for the first time to myself.
Not because i want a girl (here is where it gets complicated) I always want boys, probably because i lost my baby boy, and having his brothers makes me feel like i get a tiny bit of him back.
I wanted my little boy Andrew the second i delivered William, as soon as i held him i thought, i can't not do this again... and after 5 years dh agreed and i got him, my perfect little price, just like my others.... too much in love! And i felt complete, something i was not sure i would feel, and i worried i would just want child after child.
Then, surprise, 4 months after he was born i was pregnant, shocked was not the work.... (got pregnant 8 days before ov) Andrew was supposed to be my baby boy, my little one...And now he isn't i feel like i have betrayed him, let him down, and now i am left with the feeling the only thing that would make it better is if i am having a girl, so Andrew will still be my baby boy.... I am a terrible person, i really am!
So that's me!!!
Not because i want a girl (here is where it gets complicated) I always want boys, probably because i lost my baby boy, and having his brothers makes me feel like i get a tiny bit of him back.
I wanted my little boy Andrew the second i delivered William, as soon as i held him i thought, i can't not do this again... and after 5 years dh agreed and i got him, my perfect little price, just like my others.... too much in love! And i felt complete, something i was not sure i would feel, and i worried i would just want child after child.
Then, surprise, 4 months after he was born i was pregnant, shocked was not the work.... (got pregnant 8 days before ov) Andrew was supposed to be my baby boy, my little one...And now he isn't i feel like i have betrayed him, let him down, and now i am left with the feeling the only thing that would make it better is if i am having a girl, so Andrew will still be my baby boy.... I am a terrible person, i really am!
So that's me!!!