waiting for ivf and struggling!

[Pinkie 33]

Thanks Minxy, glad all is going well, time to grow some good eggs I think you are right to prioritise IVF over work. I found it hard as I studied and worked hard for my career which now seems to have taken a back seat but there is only so much space in your head and in our position TTC fills most of it!

This week is hell. Yesterday I kept telling DF I was struggling. Last night he asked me if I was ok and I said no I'm not, I keep waiting to see blood or experience the MC or pass the baby and its hell and I wish I didn't still feel pregnant when I'm not. The complete look of horror on his face was a picture bless him. Its really hard. Roll on Friday.

Hope everyone else is ok xxx

 

[mummy.wannabe]

Glad your getting on minxy.
Once you start it really goes fly by then.

Pinky- I really feel for you, I remembered after I miscarried, I was numb, cried all the time but my hubby was so great, just to be there for a shoulder to cry on.
Let it all out, don't keep it all bottled up.
Really hoping for good news for you tho.
Have you had any time off work at all?

I don't want to go on about my scan but all is good.
I won't post pictures yet.
Had to wait 2 hours for a blood test and was really rushing to get back to work.
My day is nearly over tho.
2 hours to go.

 

[2have4kids]

Well you guys will be nice and green for summer with all that rain. Glad to hear they've tweaked the doses and yes I completely agree, IVF doesn't feel very scientific with the varied outcomes and boxed up protocols. My fs was ready to move us onto egg donation, didn't recommend another round of IVF. that was what came out of her mouth first at her appointment. I asked about the short antagonist protocol and she warmed right up to it, asked if I've been reading lots online hahaha. I guess the majority of girls in my shoes have done the same research.

I'm glad to hear you can produce loads of eggs. Eat loads of protein, you WILL get some nice big plump ones this time, they will divide and divide again.

I will start estrogen priming in August stimming in sept. That was great of your boss to rearrange things for you. I understand about the getting stale after so many years. There's a gossip queen in my cubical who just got back from mat leave. She's more mature and less hormonal and evil now. She still has her little network feeding her negative bits about our team mates from around the office. Thankfully she's got shortened hours and longer days while I have long hours/short week.

My friend just got back from Orlando Disneyworld with his kids. Said they were surrounded by Brits. Was wondering if there were seat sales from England going on right now hahaha. I asked him what his favourite bit was and he said the Hulk rollercoaster in Hollywood Studios & the Rose & Crown pub at the British pavillion in the Epcot centre. Can't wait!!

2have4kids - We had sun & now we have lots of rain here! Damn the british weather.
I've been on 0.5 Buserlin, going to 0.2 while I'm on Gonal F. Will be taking 150 of Gonal F, I've always had to drop my dose due to high responding but because of the down regging I shouldn't have to this time. Hopefully I'll make lots of eggs again but really its quality I need, no problem making them but getting those embies past day 3....! Reading other stories its amazing how much variation there is in people's stumbling blocks, responses etc. No wonder IVF doesn't feel too scientific sometimes to me.

When will you be able to start again? Hope its soon.

Afm: Am out of the work trip, I'd forgotten my boss was in last week & he sorted it with the guy organising the trip by saying I couldn't travel for personal relasons & he was aware why but couldn't say why. I feel better for telling the other guy still as we get on well and he's a good person, so its good he knows why and won't tell anyone else.
Also work is looking up, though we will be very busy on this new project I'll be working with some different people for the next few weeks who are a bit more of a laugh, so that will be a breath of fresh air and hopefully stop the annoying woman I sit next to riling me up so easily and maybe soften her up a bit. Working in the same team for many years can get stale (ttc has totally put my career on hold).

Hope everyone else is ok Melbram, Ducktales, MummyW, YH and Pinkie (this must be such an rubbish week, hoping for a positive outcome)

 

[Pinkie 33]

Hello everyone

Hope you are doing ok x

We has the scan this morning. They found the pregnancy sac had grown (albeit very misshapen) but no baby. The Dr said I could stop taking the progesterone which would lead to the miscarriage. He also said I could carry on with it for a week or two if I wanted for my own peace of mind. He has referred us to the MC unit.

I don't really know what to do. I know deep down that its all over and I don't think its healthy for my mind whilst my body still thinks its pregnant. However is it too soon to pull the plug I suppose the sooner I get back to normal, the sooner I can move on and start to think about the next IVF.

What a bugger xxx

 

[mummy.wannabe]

Oh pinkie I'm so sorry.
I was really hoping for good news for you.

I can't say what I'd do, its up to you and hubby really x

 

[MinxyChick]

Pinkie that really is a bugger in the extreme!

I think the doctor is a bit useless he should have said to you keep taking the progesterone if there was a chance or don't if there isn't. As now he's left you with this horrible decision to have to make.

Lots of love & strength to you & DF whilst you make this decision & deal with this x

 

[Pinkie 33]

Thanks ladies

I have spoken to the MC dept and she agreed from the scans that it was a lost cause. So for mine (and DP's) sanity I am stopping the progesterone and preparing myself for the worst! They offered me a D&C but I think I'd prefer to let things happen naturally for now. I'll have a scan in a couple of weeks to make sure I'm all clear. Quite looking forward to getting back to normal so we can re-group and prepare for round 3! What a rollercoaster we are all on xx

Mummy - thank you for your sensitivity but please post your scan pics, its nice to have good news xxx

 

[2have4kids]

Oh Pinkie I feel so badly for you. I hope you can make peace with this attempt and just know that the chances of an empty sac happening again are much lower. That's the way I look at m/c now, the more you're unlucky enough to live through them, the more chance of success in the future. There's a bright side to everything, it's just tough to see this in the throws of devastation. I just want to wrap my arms around you and give you a massive hug. I'll be tasting wine today, I'm going to clink a glass to your success in the near future. Yours too Minxy, Melbram and Yearningheart, I'm thinking about you ladies! Hopefully I haven't missed anyone.

 

[mummy.wannabe]

I'm glad the mc department have given you the final answe as such.
I hope this is quick for you, its horrible going through it but let alone knowing its going to happen.
Are you staying off work awhile?

I will put then up in a few days or so x

 

[mummy.wannabe]

2have 4kids hope you have a lovely weekend of wine tasting!
Enjoy it x

 

[2have4kids]

Thanks mummy, clinks to you beautiful pregnant ladies too of course!!! So glad to hear your scan went well and can't wait to see your growing family

 

[Ducktales]

hi everyone, sorry have been awol recently
Pinkie, I am so sorry for you, it sounds like you are being so positive and looking to the next round which is fab and I am certain 3rd time lucky it will be your rainbow baby, big hugs
Mummy - glad your scan went well, looking forward to seeing your pictures
Minxy - how is it all going?
2have4 - roll on August, it will be here before you know it
Melbram, yearning - how are you?

hope I haven't missed anyone

AFM, I have my booking appointment on 29th May but no scan appointment yet - the paperwork says that my scan will be between 11-14 weeks.
I am planning to have a 10 week scan in Watford - it is £75 and I think well worth it.
still feeling very sick, nauseous all day and night, very sore bbs and exhausted hence why I have been absent from Bnb, just mostly been in bed!
xx

 

[mummy.wannabe]

Hey ducktales. I was really hoping my sickness would have eased up a little by now but no, still on going, maybe it's prolonged with having the 2 lots.
I finally finished my progesterone injections 2 days ago and tho I'm happy, in slightly nervous and just hoping its true when they say the placentas take over by 12 weeks. I'm going to google that actually.
I'm in bed by 8.30pm-9.30pm each night as I do still end up awake for 2 hours in the middle of the night.
Hoping that stops too.
Have you told many people?
Still taking it easy at work? X

 

[Ducktales]

Hi, I hope the sickness calms down soon
I usually make it till 8.30 maximum!!!
Have told everyone who knows we had ivf so best friends and mum and dad, MIL and siblings only
Work know but only my 2 managers
Not sure i will even tell after 12 weeks, want to leave it as long as possible
Thinking I am going to buy some maternity bras tomorrow and be a bit more comfortable
X

 

[mummy.wannabe]

Yeah I would.
I've been in maternity trousers for weeks because its really popped out.
Ill put pic up.
We heard both heart beats with the Doppler tonight. Its an anazing machine.
We could only hear 1 heart best from 10 weeks x

 

[Ducktales]

I was debating the Doppler but I think I want one
Any recommendations?
I should probably wait till at least 10 weeks to try though shouldn't I ?
Yes put your pics up
Xxx

 

[mummy.wannabe]

I have the angel I think its called.
They are very hard to pick up the heart best at 1st, you have to do it really slowly and be really patient.
Some days we can't hear them, others its really clear.
As long as you don't think you'll panic if you can't hear it, then if recommend 1.
I bought mine 2nd hand off here actually x
You got to remember at 10 weeks its the size of an olive so finding it is hard x

 

[mummy.wannabe]

 

[mummy.wannabe]

 

[mummy.wannabe]

Both heads